Rainbow Chara X
Impossible to gauge!
- 129
- Posts
- 9
- Years
- Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
- Seen May 12, 2025
We're jumping into the endgame, so get pumped.
Chapter 22 - The Dark One
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Alright, we've finally arrived in Lilycove and this place is infested with zombies. Strangely enough, they won't attack you or... do anything, really. Isn't this supposed to be an invasion?
Whatever. Let's just go up the steps.
[A wave of dark energy floods past Jack and the Crew]
: "!!"
: "What the hell was that?!"
: ("This dark power... It's so dense and vile that I can barely move my legs. We need to get rid of the source immediately!")
: ("It reeks of decay. Perhaps this... "old man" is the one that brought the undead here?")
: ("If he's the one sending off this aura, then he's far worse than Gleis or Temulence. Let's move, guys!")
: "Everything we get ourselves into just winds up taking a turn for the better, doesn't it?"
[Current audio in-game: Heavy Rainfall]
Hey, it's Dantalion. Just what can he pull out to slow down Jack and the crew?
Dantalion: "... I think you know why we are here."
: "You're after me, right? Well, come on then! I'll beat you all, just like I beat the Horsemen!"
Man, Jack really grew a pair after defeating the Horsemen and gaining Meteor's trust. His confidence is just a bit infectious.
Dantalion: "Do you believe in fate, Jack?"
: "What?"
: "Of course... What's the point? Fight me!"
The fact he's willing to throw fisticuffs is proof enough that Jack's had enough of this nonsense.
Dantalion: "How can the flashbacks be real if they showed you a life with Alicia? A life that never existed?"
: "Stop - stop messing with me... They have to be real!"
Dantalion: "Do they? Has anyone told you the truth so far? Even Professor Birch... How can you trust him?"
: "Shut up!"
"All the Horsemen needed to do was put false memories in your brain using that psychic dragon egg, and you're reduced to this..."
: "Just - just shut up!"
Dantalion: "I've given you enough to think of... Goodbye."
[Dantalion enters the building]
... Wow, um. Dantalion has harmed Jack more than any other villain so far and only with successful mind games. No brawling or anything.
Let this set the tone for the rest of the game, because it's going to get pretty serious from now on. I'm not kidding.
Damn it, I can't just cheat my way up the floors. I should also mention that since the way-too-happy Lilycove theme is playing, I believe this song would be more fitting for the situation at hand.
MORE GODDAMN DEADLY WHO THE HELL CARES
Oh, wait. They're actually... helping us fight the zombies?! It can't be all that good though. What crazy retort is he going to give us this time?
: "You want ME to help YOU? And why are you so serious now?"
(Mikov): "Now is not the time for explanations, Jack! Travelling upwards here is the Dark Lord of the East, and if he gets to the top, this war against the dead is lost!"
... No way. Now they finally decide to stop being annoying? Why couldn't they have done this earlier?
: "... I'm going to regret this..."
You sure are, sonny jim.
Barbara, huh? What do you have to show to Jack that's so scary?
Okay, that's pretty scary.
See, what Headdoom (uuugh) here used was a move called Bright Idea - it's effectively the Nasty Plot of Snakewood. If she tried to use Fire Pump on anybody that's not Jeanne, there wouldn't even be anything left. It's a priority that you kill Headdoom as fast as possible before she gets Bright Idea off, otherwise you might regret it.
Poliwraith here is a bit less dangerous, but she still has a Dynamic Punch to annihilate you with.
... That Ambes got hit with in practice. It's like the game wants to show these moves off, but I can't allow that because then that would kill the team!
[Mikov goes up the stairs]
Okay, so they've ditched the whole stupid act? What is even going on in this game anymore?
Well, he's not trying to annoy us so that's good.
: "Alright..."
It's like a bizarro-bizarro scenario where everything stops being crazy and returns to some form of sanity.
OH JESUS!
Yuck used Sludge Bomb and I swear to god if this were Gen VI, it would have killed Bellamine outright! Then we'd have a zombie Gardevoir on our hands!
With Bellamine it would have probably have been a repeat of Winona, and that wouldn't help anybody.
Full Restores are truly a saving grace.
Ambes frying this Azombarill made me think. We should probably get Menti to evolve into one so we'd have our own Azombarill. That'd be neat.
"Thanks. But we need to hurry! I don't know how much longer Asimov can hold That Man off!"
What is That Man going to do that is so harrowing that it requires the Deadly Seven to stop acting like escaped mental convicts?
: "Order?"
(Gunkov): "Explanations later! Let's go!"
[The Battle Zombie below him attacks Jack]
God damn, that was close!
See, this Gorelax used Hyper Beam and nearly wiped Tohru off of the face of the planet. The team is getting into real dire straits with all of these super zombies, because even our type advantage counters are running into serious trouble.
"Karkov! Robotnov! They're in terrible danger!"
Yeah, you do you. I'm gonna go up the stairs at my own pace.
: "Further away than ever, no thanks to you. Now, prepare to be defeated!"
: "Hmph. This afro'd man has knocked out a few of my Pokemon, but Faceleech and I will still triumph easily!"
Faceleech? The Fakemon that everybody on the team can counter just by breathing on it?
Oh yeah, I swapped out Ace for Umbra. I needed the extra muscle from Swords Dance.
Step up your game, Gleis. Nobody's even remotely scared of this thing anymore.
Wait, what?
My little pufferfish has finally grown up!
: ("Whoa! This is awesome! I'm finally able to do something for the Crew! Jack, I can't thank you enough!")
I had put off uploading new updates for a while that I forget some details. This, though, is pretty goddamn rad.
"This was all just because the man with the afro fainted four of my Pokemon... I must rally some force from the outside!"
Oh yeah, it's not because you're a sore loser or anything, nooo.
"Whew... Thanks. But the others still need our help! We can't let That Man reach the top!"
Yeah, we need to hurry.
What person in real life goes "fufufu" anyway?
: "You? You aren't half as hard as Gleis. I'll beat your Denjuu again!"
: "Oh, I don't need them anymore. You're right, they were weak - so I went back to my original team of Pokemon!"
[Just replay Super Cool No. 1]
So Temulence was originally a Pokemon trainer? The Denjuu thing was just a phase? Interesting.
Gyarados ain't got shit on Ambes.
Bellamine shows why Gardevoir are OU.
temulence we need to have a talk
DO YOU REALLY HAVE AN ENTEI
Come on, man. We have to fight all the Legendary Dog/Cat/Whatevers now? I'm not even surprised at this point.
Tohru weathers through the fire and smacks Entei around.
Machamp have always creeped me out. It's the face.
Yeah, run back to your "master". Tell him Jack is coming for him.
"He uses the most violent and destructive ones he can find, it seems. We'd better go. That Man must have almost finished the ceremony by now."
Oh man, we need to split.
Under normal circumstances, this would have prompted a "CUTLERINE!!!!!
" but, since they're on my side, I'm cool about this.
"That Man is stronger than all of us combined, even without his Pokemon! You have to hurry!"
Even without his Pokemon? Just what are we dealing with here?!
"The Battle Zombie bursts a can of lemonade between its eyelids. Wow, that's tough. Time to rumble!"
Welcome to the Salty Spittoon, how tough are you?
Not very, by the looks of things. Sorry, pal.
Augh! Just reading that made me flinch. Poor bastard.
If you spell subtle like... god damn it, I've already used the clip before. This is when it would have been the most appropriate too.
I find it hilarious that the Grim Reaper that Zombie Winona used was more dangerous despite being lower leveled, mostly due to the fact that it had Earthquake.
At first I thought this was talking about That Man ahead, but nope.
"This Battle Zombie is being menaced by a dark creature from another world... Best leave her alone."
????????
Enough messing around, though. Let's encounter... That Man.
[Theme I would use for this encounter, as the Kyogre/Groudon battle theme isn't going to cut it: Stealthy Shadow]
(Asimov): "Ah!"
[Asimov vanishes, accompanied by a Rock Smash SFX]
: "Oh! ... At last we meet, Jack."
: "What have you done with Asimov?"
: "You... You killed him?!"
: "If that is what you want to call it."
: "You must be... the one they call the Dark Lord of the East? That Man?"
: "That is correct. My name is Senex, and had the Order of the Afro not interfered, I would have completed the ceremony to summon another thousand zombies. How annoying. Still, you are here, and that is compensation enough."
: "I want your eyes. And I will do anything to get them!"
I know this is referencing a death god of some kind with the whole "stealing eyes" thing, but that's just nasty.
[Theme I would use for the fight against the Senex: Toccata in Blood Soaked Darkness]
Alright, this is it.
Senex is the ultimate villain of Snakewood as a whole. He's the one who organized everything - he is the one who commanded the Horsemen, Gleis and others to bring about the zombie apocalypse. Everything that's happened in the game so far can be traced back to him, and he's also the person who started the zombie apocalpyse to begin with thanks to his necromancy powers.
He's gone through multiple aliases: Lord Gravetric, the Dark Lord of the East, That Man, but I assure you that every villain (minus Chloe and the Inquisition) has been working under Senex this entire time. I love his sprite and this fight is another favorite - if only just because of the atmosphere that surrounds it.
The first of Senex's Pokemon is this ugly mushroom-looking thing. Despite the stupid look, Turmur is a legendary of all things and replaces Kyogre in the Pokedex. Yes, Senex's entire team consists of legendaries. That's how the game's rolling with the difficulty now, I guess.
Turmur is a pure
type, but it's the easiest to defeat out of Senex's set-up. A bit bulky, but that's what Calm Mind is for. Surprisingly enough, if you can be assed to do the chain quest to get Turmur, this thing can breed.
Horrifying.
On top of that, the babies it creates are FACELEECH. Well, there goes my "It's a Deoxys-ified Remoraid" theory.
Moving on.
We meet again, Shaderu!
Yes, you get to fight Shaderu for real this time. (Although it's more fair this time around)
It has a
type attack called Pulsar that does a ton of damage, but it brings a valuable question: Why the hell is Shaderu
/
? It is pretty much Dark in every way but actual typing, and that type makes no sense to begin with. Not only that,
/
has no weaknesses... so I don't know. Again, I'm not Cutlerine.
Shaderu's typing makes it vulnerable to
, which is just rich.
Damn, son!
Shaderu knows Double Edge, so that's why it has a
typing. Even with halved attack, it nearly killed Jeanne. Still though.
The very cloak that it uses out of dead children souls just got evaporated by Jeanne's fire. She freakin' purified the thing.
This Ninetales of mine is such a wonderful asset to the team.
Oooh, that's a nice design. Luca Zamon is a
/
(prototype Kyurem??) legendary that is described as the Goddess of Destruction, but she's not that much harder to defeat than the other two. She can try to freeze you, but if you brought a good Fire, Fighting or Steel type then you should be good.
[Tohru used Rock Smash!]
And with that, we've defeated the master of the zombie apocalypse. It's over...
SUCK IT, OLD MAN!
"Strong enough to beat the Three Dark Legendary Pokemon. Such power befits the bearer of your eyes... Fine! I will leave for now."
He calls them the *Dark* Legendary Pokemon, yet none of them are Dark-type. Fancy th-- wait, what the hell?! He's just leaving? All that hype was for nothing.
[Senex and Temulence teleport away]
"Without you, he would have stayed and completed his ceremony. Then, we would have been flooded with the dead."
: "Adolv, what's going on? Why are you guys so serious?"
(Adolv): "It is our destiny. We are the Order of the Afro, an ancient guild dedicated to the combat of necromancy using the fighting art of Hajike. We were temporarily with the Inquisition because they seemed to be the most effective way of fighting Senex."
Get ready guys.
(Adolv): "It is Hajike: the marital art of fighting with lunacy."
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. That's what it is.
Hajike is another reference to Bobobo. To quote one of our friends: "WOW CUTLERINE WAS A WEEB".
: "... I see."
(Adolv): "Jack, the Dark Lord Senex makes his lair in the fortified town of Sootopolis, in the south. We helped your brother there, but so far he has not returned. We fear the worst."
: "He's... dead?"
(Adolv): "I hope not. But in the case he is, I don't want you to suffer the same fate. Before you challenge him, you ought to challenge the Elite Four and build up your strength. They can be found in Ever Grande City."
(Adolv): "Not a problem. Oh, and take this. You'll need it to get to Ever Grande."
Oh snap, he gave us Dive. Man, this version of the Deadly Seven is cool. Why couldn't we have had these guys the entire game?
And just like that, they're gone. I'm positive the death of Asimov hit them really hard.
All that remains is what to do now for the rest of the episode.
Oh yeah, whatever you do - don't go into the art museum. Since Cutlerine didn't put any more script barriers after the zombies disappeared, you could walk into a part of the game that you're definitely not supposed to be at yet.
Now that all the fighting's done, Ace needs to be our flyboy.
"He's so full of trapped gas that if you poke him, he'll explode. Time for some good old fashioned lootin'!"
Before we leave, there's a guy here that gives you something aside from disgust.
It's just Rest, which is pretty much unchanged from what this guy gives you in normal Ruby.
Hmmm? What's with the two swimmers blocking the area?
THEY'RE ADAPTING TO THE ENVIRONMENT! NOW EVEN THE SEAS AREN'T SAFE!
Seriously though, nothing about this makes sense. I can sort of believe that the zombies get all steroid-y and get slightly more intelligent after a while, but the saltwater thing was one of their biggest weaknesses. Why suddenly change that to have an area guardian that could have just been replaced with, I dunno, a horrible smell? I mean, it would be a good hint of what's coming up ahead.
Screw it, I'm outta here.
There is a candy bar stuck in this rock. I just hope it's not ruined by the water.
Oh and Umbra, since we need Ballin for this next part you can go and take a rest.
: ("Right, I'll do just that. I'm done with this insanity for now anyway.")
Now that Ballin has Dive, we are now free to travel underwater. What a time for him to evolve into Qwilshark, too.
: ("How am I breathing?! Okay, I'm not going to question this as long as I can still survive down here.")
This room's a bit of an oddity. See, it takes you from Lilycove (where the dark patch of water was) and warps you all the way up to Ever Grande just like that.
See, wasn't that quick? I mean, wow that's weird. But I guess it's one of the few times where the whole "warping from area to area" thing has actually been in our favor.
"The League is just about safe, but even so, three of the Elite Four have been killed already."
... If Senex did it, then he's an asshole. Man, please have Phoebe as the surviving member. *crosses fingers*
Hmmmm. I would tackle Victory Road now, but we're running out of time. This place needs a chapter all to itself.
Now that we're back in Oldale, let's see what changed now that Ace can actually fly Jack around.
"This town is pretty safe. We've a barrier to the south and a guard point to the west. Zombies can't cross running water, so we're also safe from the north and east."
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha
you have no idea how wrong you are, buddy ha ha
We can't get rid of the barricade with the Arclight Spanner, so let's fly into Littleroot directly.
"He'll be dead now, of course. No one survived here. Sob... I don't need this anymore..."
Oh hey, it's that lady from Chapter 3.5. So this is when you actually get the Broken Heart from her. Man, that was such a long time ago.
Back in Dewford, I noted that this patch of water probably holds a superbonus or something. Now that we can go underwater, let's actually go and bother what's down there.
A Rock Smash rock underwater? Well... alright. I don't know what it would be blocking.
"It was a... ROCK LOBSTER!!"
NO
[Theme song for Roclobster: of course]
OH MY GOD CUTLERINE, YOU DORK.
Roclobster is a
/
type that's actually very powerful. She's like a legendary in some accounts, due to how high her stats are. Roclobster is also very uncooperative, as it took multiple retries just to catch her.
Even the Pokedex is joining in on the fun.
Since I'm uncreative, let's call her B-52. She might be useful later on.
Cut to Meteor Falls, there's a Moon Stone here. With enough training, Alice can actually become a Delcatty. I mean, at least this means she won't be rotting away in a box anymore.
Oh yeah, here's some Snake Oil for the curious. Given how this is Pokemon Snakewood I... ugh, just cut that.
Usher's submarine is still here? We can't move the boulders because we don't have Strength, but that's nothing to worry about yet.
We're really moving around this episode, damn. Now let's finally change these names.
: ("Thank you, Jack! Now everybody can stop making those horrible egg jokes!")
: ("Wagner, huh? I'll admit, it's a more impressive name.")
Helmaroc's name change was inspired by the Wagner (pronounced "vaugh-ner") from Odin Sphere. Aka. this guy.
: ("Jack, why are we at the Day Care?")
: "It's come to mind that there are some members of the crew we have to let go. Since the region is filled with zombies, I can't just release them into the wild. So I figured this would be the best place to put them."
: ("Oh, I see. Who are they?")
: "Cherry and Krusha... I haven't been able to think of anything for them. They've been outclassed by both Beatrice and Chloris, along with the new recruits we keep getting. I feel they'd be safer here than with us, you know?"
: ("That's reasonable. Say goodbye to them before we leave.")
: "Hey... you two. We've had some adventures together, but I think it's time to say goodbye."
: ("Oh... I see. You're leaving us back here?")
: ("I suppose it's just our time. See you, Jack.")
: ("So we weren't enough for you, is that it?")
: "No, it's not like that at all. Well... the world out there is getting more and more dangerous even for us. I feel you'd be safer here than any other place in the world."
: ("... I see. So are we never going to see each other again, Jack?")
: "I wouldn't say that. We'll come back to visit... But for now, we have to deal with the worst the Dark Lord has to offer."
: ("Okay. See you, Jack...")
: ("Come on, babe.")
[Jack hands the two Pokemon over to the caretaker]
: "I guess this is the best for them."
Future Dan: In hindsight, this entire sequence was also because I couldn't be arsed to think of unique dialogue for them. It, uh... was not very flattering. Granted, it's not like Jack is leaving them here forever.
Wow, our team is looking pretty hefty. We've almost filled out this box.
: "Guys, we're going to be challenging the Elite Four. This is probably going to be one of the biggest fights of our life, so we need to be ready. Who's with me?"
[All the Pokemon in the box cheer]
: "Good. Let's get down to business!"
Next time on Pokemon Snakewood, we go through Victory Road and challenge the Elite Four! See you next time.
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Team setup:
(Bellamine,
, Level 43,
) - "I can't believe we've come so far in our journey."
(Ambes,
, Level 47,
) - "You're right, miss Bellamine. We sure have grown since we first met Jack!"
(Jeanne,
, Level 45,
) - "That Dark Lord wasn't even worthy of my flames. Hmph!"
(Ace,
, Level 40, has Anadrin Talon,
/
) - [Is a bit tired after flyng Jack everywhere.] "Hey, Valor! I see... Jack put you on the team!"
(Valor,
, Level 41, has Plus Band,
) - "Yeah, I'm surprised too! You guys sure kicked ass out there! Way to stick it to that crusty old Senex!"
(Tohru,
, Level 46,
/
) - * meditates for the fight ahead *
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back-up Team:
(Reggie,
, Level 33, has Leftovers,
/
) - "Damn, Ballin turned into a real beast. We're at de Elite Four now? This is getting crazy!"
(Zagon,
, Level 33,
) - "Wow, I'm so excited! We're really going places today!"
(Alice,
, level 12,
) - "D-did Jack find a Moon Stone? And he plans to give it to me? Wow, that's so sweet, nya!"
(Umbra,
, Level 43,
) - "I'm curious as to what these 'Elite Four' are all about."
(Ballin,
, level 36,
/
) - "MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVOLVED THIS IS GREAT"
(Pumbloom,
, level 14,
) - * is in awe of Ballin's new form *
(Wagner,
, Level 44,
/
) - "The fact Jack went up against Master Senex and survived, much less defeated him, is proof enough that he is a great man. I vow my undying loyalty to him."
(Chloris,
, level 43,
/
) - "I'm sure we'll visit Cherry and Krusha soon. They're nice people."
(Beatrice,
, Level 26,
/
) - * soothes everybody with the aroma coming off of her rose-hands *
(Shine,
, level 12,
) - "Wow... Our big bro and his friends defeated the Dark Lord! Jack sure isn't a normal guy!"
(Spark,
, level 12,
) - "That's putting it lightly, sis."
(Alpha, level 50,
/
) - "DAMN IT, I WAS ROOTING FOR THE OLD MAN. HE WAS A MAN AFTER MY OWN COLD, METAL HEART."
(Letro, level 31,
/
) - "OH, WHAT A SHAME. WE CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING WE WANT, NOW CAN WE, ALPHA?"
(Juno,
, Level 38,
) - "Oh man, I want to be a Banette so I can join in on the fun! This is getting really intense!"
(Menti,
, level 37,
/
) - "So that man... was the reason I exist in this form? That explains why I felt less powerful when he disappeared. I want to help Jack too..."
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Chapter 22 - The Dark One
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Spoiler:

Alright, we've finally arrived in Lilycove and this place is infested with zombies. Strangely enough, they won't attack you or... do anything, really. Isn't this supposed to be an invasion?
Whatever. Let's just go up the steps.

[A wave of dark energy floods past Jack and the Crew]











[Current audio in-game: Heavy Rainfall]
Hey, it's Dantalion. Just what can he pull out to slow down Jack and the crew?
Dantalion: "... I think you know why we are here."

Man, Jack really grew a pair after defeating the Horsemen and gaining Meteor's trust. His confidence is just a bit infectious.
Dantalion: "Do you believe in fate, Jack?"



The fact he's willing to throw fisticuffs is proof enough that Jack's had enough of this nonsense.
Dantalion: "How can the flashbacks be real if they showed you a life with Alicia? A life that never existed?"

Dantalion: "Do they? Has anyone told you the truth so far? Even Professor Birch... How can you trust him?"


"All the Horsemen needed to do was put false memories in your brain using that psychic dragon egg, and you're reduced to this..."

Dantalion: "I've given you enough to think of... Goodbye."
[Dantalion enters the building]

... Wow, um. Dantalion has harmed Jack more than any other villain so far and only with successful mind games. No brawling or anything.
Let this set the tone for the rest of the game, because it's going to get pretty serious from now on. I'm not kidding.

Damn it, I can't just cheat my way up the floors. I should also mention that since the way-too-happy Lilycove theme is playing, I believe this song would be more fitting for the situation at hand.

MORE GODDAMN DEADLY WHO THE HELL CARES
Oh, wait. They're actually... helping us fight the zombies?! It can't be all that good though. What crazy retort is he going to give us this time?



... No way. Now they finally decide to stop being annoying? Why couldn't they have done this earlier?

You sure are, sonny jim.

Barbara, huh? What do you have to show to Jack that's so scary?

Okay, that's pretty scary.
See, what Headdoom (uuugh) here used was a move called Bright Idea - it's effectively the Nasty Plot of Snakewood. If she tried to use Fire Pump on anybody that's not Jeanne, there wouldn't even be anything left. It's a priority that you kill Headdoom as fast as possible before she gets Bright Idea off, otherwise you might regret it.

Poliwraith here is a bit less dangerous, but she still has a Dynamic Punch to annihilate you with.
... That Ambes got hit with in practice. It's like the game wants to show these moves off, but I can't allow that because then that would kill the team!


[Mikov goes up the stairs]
Okay, so they've ditched the whole stupid act? What is even going on in this game anymore?
Well, he's not trying to annoy us so that's good.


It's like a bizarro-bizarro scenario where everything stops being crazy and returns to some form of sanity.

OH JESUS!
Yuck used Sludge Bomb and I swear to god if this were Gen VI, it would have killed Bellamine outright! Then we'd have a zombie Gardevoir on our hands!
With Bellamine it would have probably have been a repeat of Winona, and that wouldn't help anybody.

Full Restores are truly a saving grace.

Ambes frying this Azombarill made me think. We should probably get Menti to evolve into one so we'd have our own Azombarill. That'd be neat.

"Thanks. But we need to hurry! I don't know how much longer Asimov can hold That Man off!"
What is That Man going to do that is so harrowing that it requires the Deadly Seven to stop acting like escaped mental convicts?



[The Battle Zombie below him attacks Jack]

God damn, that was close!
See, this Gorelax used Hyper Beam and nearly wiped Tohru off of the face of the planet. The team is getting into real dire straits with all of these super zombies, because even our type advantage counters are running into serious trouble.

"Karkov! Robotnov! They're in terrible danger!"
Yeah, you do you. I'm gonna go up the stairs at my own pace.



Faceleech? The Fakemon that everybody on the team can counter just by breathing on it?


Oh yeah, I swapped out Ace for Umbra. I needed the extra muscle from Swords Dance.

Step up your game, Gleis. Nobody's even remotely scared of this thing anymore.

Wait, what?

My little pufferfish has finally grown up!


I had put off uploading new updates for a while that I forget some details. This, though, is pretty goddamn rad.

"This was all just because the man with the afro fainted four of my Pokemon... I must rally some force from the outside!"
Oh yeah, it's not because you're a sore loser or anything, nooo.

"Whew... Thanks. But the others still need our help! We can't let That Man reach the top!"
Yeah, we need to hurry.

What person in real life goes "fufufu" anyway?



[Just replay Super Cool No. 1]
So Temulence was originally a Pokemon trainer? The Denjuu thing was just a phase? Interesting.

Gyarados ain't got shit on Ambes.


Bellamine shows why Gardevoir are OU.

temulence we need to have a talk
DO YOU REALLY HAVE AN ENTEI

Come on, man. We have to fight all the Legendary Dog/Cat/Whatevers now? I'm not even surprised at this point.

Tohru weathers through the fire and smacks Entei around.

Machamp have always creeped me out. It's the face.

Yeah, run back to your "master". Tell him Jack is coming for him.


"He uses the most violent and destructive ones he can find, it seems. We'd better go. That Man must have almost finished the ceremony by now."
Oh man, we need to split.

Under normal circumstances, this would have prompted a "CUTLERINE!!!!!


"That Man is stronger than all of us combined, even without his Pokemon! You have to hurry!"
Even without his Pokemon? Just what are we dealing with here?!

"The Battle Zombie bursts a can of lemonade between its eyelids. Wow, that's tough. Time to rumble!"
Welcome to the Salty Spittoon, how tough are you?

Not very, by the looks of things. Sorry, pal.

Augh! Just reading that made me flinch. Poor bastard.

If you spell subtle like... god damn it, I've already used the clip before. This is when it would have been the most appropriate too.

I find it hilarious that the Grim Reaper that Zombie Winona used was more dangerous despite being lower leveled, mostly due to the fact that it had Earthquake.

At first I thought this was talking about That Man ahead, but nope.

"This Battle Zombie is being menaced by a dark creature from another world... Best leave her alone."
????????
Enough messing around, though. Let's encounter... That Man.

[Theme I would use for this encounter, as the Kyogre/Groudon battle theme isn't going to cut it: Stealthy Shadow]

[Asimov vanishes, accompanied by a Rock Smash SFX]










I know this is referencing a death god of some kind with the whole "stealing eyes" thing, but that's just nasty.

[Theme I would use for the fight against the Senex: Toccata in Blood Soaked Darkness]
Alright, this is it.
Senex is the ultimate villain of Snakewood as a whole. He's the one who organized everything - he is the one who commanded the Horsemen, Gleis and others to bring about the zombie apocalypse. Everything that's happened in the game so far can be traced back to him, and he's also the person who started the zombie apocalpyse to begin with thanks to his necromancy powers.
He's gone through multiple aliases: Lord Gravetric, the Dark Lord of the East, That Man, but I assure you that every villain (minus Chloe and the Inquisition) has been working under Senex this entire time. I love his sprite and this fight is another favorite - if only just because of the atmosphere that surrounds it.

The first of Senex's Pokemon is this ugly mushroom-looking thing. Despite the stupid look, Turmur is a legendary of all things and replaces Kyogre in the Pokedex. Yes, Senex's entire team consists of legendaries. That's how the game's rolling with the difficulty now, I guess.

Turmur is a pure

Horrifying.

On top of that, the babies it creates are FACELEECH. Well, there goes my "It's a Deoxys-ified Remoraid" theory.
Moving on.

We meet again, Shaderu!
Yes, you get to fight Shaderu for real this time. (Although it's more fair this time around)
It has a





Shaderu's typing makes it vulnerable to


Damn, son!
Shaderu knows Double Edge, so that's why it has a


The very cloak that it uses out of dead children souls just got evaporated by Jeanne's fire. She freakin' purified the thing.
This Ninetales of mine is such a wonderful asset to the team.


Oooh, that's a nice design. Luca Zamon is a


[Tohru used Rock Smash!]


And with that, we've defeated the master of the zombie apocalypse. It's over...

SUCK IT, OLD MAN!


"Strong enough to beat the Three Dark Legendary Pokemon. Such power befits the bearer of your eyes... Fine! I will leave for now."
He calls them the *Dark* Legendary Pokemon, yet none of them are Dark-type. Fancy th-- wait, what the hell?! He's just leaving? All that hype was for nothing.
[Senex and Temulence teleport away]

"Without you, he would have stayed and completed his ceremony. Then, we would have been flooded with the dead."



Get ready guys.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. That's what it is.
Hajike is another reference to Bobobo. To quote one of our friends: "WOW CUTLERINE WAS A WEEB".







Oh snap, he gave us Dive. Man, this version of the Deadly Seven is cool. Why couldn't we have had these guys the entire game?

And just like that, they're gone. I'm positive the death of Asimov hit them really hard.
All that remains is what to do now for the rest of the episode.

Oh yeah, whatever you do - don't go into the art museum. Since Cutlerine didn't put any more script barriers after the zombies disappeared, you could walk into a part of the game that you're definitely not supposed to be at yet.

Now that all the fighting's done, Ace needs to be our flyboy.

"He's so full of trapped gas that if you poke him, he'll explode. Time for some good old fashioned lootin'!"
Before we leave, there's a guy here that gives you something aside from disgust.

It's just Rest, which is pretty much unchanged from what this guy gives you in normal Ruby.

Hmmm? What's with the two swimmers blocking the area?

THEY'RE ADAPTING TO THE ENVIRONMENT! NOW EVEN THE SEAS AREN'T SAFE!

Seriously though, nothing about this makes sense. I can sort of believe that the zombies get all steroid-y and get slightly more intelligent after a while, but the saltwater thing was one of their biggest weaknesses. Why suddenly change that to have an area guardian that could have just been replaced with, I dunno, a horrible smell? I mean, it would be a good hint of what's coming up ahead.
Screw it, I'm outta here.

There is a candy bar stuck in this rock. I just hope it's not ruined by the water.

Oh and Umbra, since we need Ballin for this next part you can go and take a rest.


Now that Ballin has Dive, we are now free to travel underwater. What a time for him to evolve into Qwilshark, too.


This room's a bit of an oddity. See, it takes you from Lilycove (where the dark patch of water was) and warps you all the way up to Ever Grande just like that.

See, wasn't that quick? I mean, wow that's weird. But I guess it's one of the few times where the whole "warping from area to area" thing has actually been in our favor.

"The League is just about safe, but even so, three of the Elite Four have been killed already."
... If Senex did it, then he's an asshole. Man, please have Phoebe as the surviving member. *crosses fingers*

Hmmmm. I would tackle Victory Road now, but we're running out of time. This place needs a chapter all to itself.

Now that we're back in Oldale, let's see what changed now that Ace can actually fly Jack around.

"This town is pretty safe. We've a barrier to the south and a guard point to the west. Zombies can't cross running water, so we're also safe from the north and east."
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha
you have no idea how wrong you are, buddy ha ha
We can't get rid of the barricade with the Arclight Spanner, so let's fly into Littleroot directly.

"He'll be dead now, of course. No one survived here. Sob... I don't need this anymore..."

Oh hey, it's that lady from Chapter 3.5. So this is when you actually get the Broken Heart from her. Man, that was such a long time ago.

Back in Dewford, I noted that this patch of water probably holds a superbonus or something. Now that we can go underwater, let's actually go and bother what's down there.

A Rock Smash rock underwater? Well... alright. I don't know what it would be blocking.

"It was a... ROCK LOBSTER!!"
NO


[Theme song for Roclobster: of course]
OH MY GOD CUTLERINE, YOU DORK.
Roclobster is a



Even the Pokedex is joining in on the fun.

Since I'm uncreative, let's call her B-52. She might be useful later on.

Cut to Meteor Falls, there's a Moon Stone here. With enough training, Alice can actually become a Delcatty. I mean, at least this means she won't be rotting away in a box anymore.

Oh yeah, here's some Snake Oil for the curious. Given how this is Pokemon Snakewood I... ugh, just cut that.


Usher's submarine is still here? We can't move the boulders because we don't have Strength, but that's nothing to worry about yet.

We're really moving around this episode, damn. Now let's finally change these names.




Helmaroc's name change was inspired by the Wagner (pronounced "vaugh-ner") from Odin Sphere. Aka. this guy.

















[Jack hands the two Pokemon over to the caretaker]

Future Dan: In hindsight, this entire sequence was also because I couldn't be arsed to think of unique dialogue for them. It, uh... was not very flattering. Granted, it's not like Jack is leaving them here forever.

Wow, our team is looking pretty hefty. We've almost filled out this box.

[All the Pokemon in the box cheer]


Next time on Pokemon Snakewood, we go through Victory Road and challenge the Elite Four! See you next time.
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Team setup:




















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Back-up Team:



















































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