Rainbow Chara X
Impossible to gauge!
- 129
- Posts
- 8
- Years
- Shiny Hunting in Sinnoh
- Seen Apr 25, 2024
I put this up at around Christmas, so I count it as a belated Christmas present to everyone.
Future Dan Says: At the time of this re-upload, it actually was nearing Christmas again! How about that.
Chapter 24 - Sewer of my Dreams
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[You know the drill: Morning Sunlight]
: ("Good morning, Jack! How did you sleep?")
[Bellamine opens the curtains and lets in sunlight]
[Jack grumbles as the rays of light hit his face]
: "Agh... my head..."
: ("See what I told you about drinking, Jack?")
: "Yes, mom. Anyway... we should probably get going. We still have to take down Senex."
: ("Oh yeah, that's right, we still have to slay the dark lord. That's a nice thing to wake up to, isn't it?")
Before you get any impressions, no we're not suddenly back in a magically fixed Littleroot.
"Through here is the spare room, where Trainers who have beaten the leaguemasters can enjoy a well-deserved night's rest."
Very nice considering the hell that was the Snakewood Elite Four. If I can be real here, how the hell did Cutlerine expect you to do that without grinding obsessively? From what I've seen later on, it gets even worse than that.
I've also learned that the only way to get back to Fort Draco is to use the one-way exit back in Victory Road, which is actually a brilliant idea due to the limitations he put in place.
See, for some inexplicable reason, you aren't allowed to fly to certain places such as Mossdeep, Mauville, and so on. I was afraid that Cutlerine may have screwed over the players that hadn't finished collecting everything that was there, such as the Tower I never went into for some reason. Thankfully, that's not the case.
Surprisingly enough, the post-game of Snakewood is very Chrono Trigger-esque regarding the things we can tackle. There's a ton of sidequests that have opened up now that we have access to Fly, although I'm not sure if it's really just Cutlerine not stopping the player from reaching said areas before they're meant to.
The postgame of Snakewood is as meaty as the regular game, given all the clues of phat lewt that've been scattered around this playthrough. Honestly, it's kind of a Big Deal given that this is a rom hack.
And another thing - oh wait, the Plot Guide is calling.
: "Hey! Did you find the Swampert?"
: "No, there wasn't one. Tones was a drunkard and probably just saw a fish or something. I did find out where Landon and May are, though."
: "Really?! Excellent. Where?"
"Sootopolis City, the lair of Senex - the guy behind this zombie invasion. Some kind of necromancer, I think."
Jack, what are you talking about? You know he's a necromancer - oh whatever.
: "Sootopolis, you say? That's an island... So, there must be a tunnel linking it to the mainland, since zombies can't go over running water."
See, even the game is calling bullshit on the two swimming zombies. I knew they were just one-off NPCs. Thank god too, because I would have had a migraine trying to figure out how it worked.
: "I get it... Look for a tunnel in Lilycove, right?"
: "Right!"
: "You know, that's the first really good idea you've had so far, Birch. See ya!"
Claps for Jack finally getting a burn on that salty old professor.
: "Um... Thanks? Bye."
Let me just break out the good ol' Ace Express and...
We're here. I would just head straight to the tunnel, but there's some incompetence I have to show off.
If you decide to go back into the Department Store for some inexplicable reason, you'll find out that the Deadly Seven and the zombies are all back and sporting all of the dialogue they had back at the Department Store Siege.
So, because Cutlerine got super lazy at this point of the game, it's very possible to walk into a goddamn time-loop of all things.
This should also be a good indication of the postgame's stability.
But let's not dwell on that and just go into the tunnel.
.... is that
: [Makes a gagging sound]
"What are we surfing in...? Ugh, we need to get out of this stuff and onto land quick!"
HOLY GARBAGE DISPOSAL, BATMAN!
(Seriously though, I like how the surfing water is actually changed to be brown for this. It's a nice touch... if beyond disgusting)
[Current audio in-game: Th-the Sealed Chamber theme?!?]
WHAT?!
Why does such a mystical and mysterious song get used for a godforsaken sewer of all places? Did Cutlerine want the poop nuggets to be seen as long lost world treasures or something?
: ("Honestly, I should be glad I'm part Poison type. I can't imagine how it would have been if Tohru or Zagon did this, so I'm glad I'm here instead.")
Jack is still a good audience surrogate character. Break out your confidence pills, boys, you're going to need them.
These Rock Smash rocks become much more horrifying in the context of where we are.
: "I could, but Ballin only fits one person!"
^ He's definitely lying because Qwilshark are, on average, 21 feet tall.
Stay classy, Cutlerine.
You'd think that brutalizing other people's Pokemon without remorse would get to Jack and Crew after a while, if only for a bit. But then again, if they were truly innocent, they wouldn't try to attack the Crew when they're "asking" for help.
: "Them?"
Mary-Sue: "Oh, you'll see them if you keep going. The people who've been lost down here for too long. The crazy folk."
So why is she called Mary-Sue if the purpose of her existence is to give us helpful advice?
Okay, Cutlerine has to be teasing me now because this is the third buyable item that's just been lying around. Like come on, dude.
: "Okay, I have a few Chikuwa if you w-- hey, what's the deal?!"
To think if she had held off of stealing from Jack, this would have been much easier for her.
"There's something in the air here - it's like we're breathing in rotten determination and false hopes."
Yeah, I don't care. Not a good time or place to be *symbolic*.
"Abandon all hope, ye who play Pokemon Snakewood" should be a sign somewhere around here. Nice depression beard, though.
I can understand the Elite Four - the top tier "don't mess with me" Trainers of the entire region - having Pokemon with really high levels. A random person in the middle of nowhere, on the other hand, should not be this strong.
It's a common video game trope to have all of the weak guys at the start of the journey while all of the world destroyers are at the end, but this is one of those times where it doesn't make sense.
Okay, no. If this were the Madio Caves or the Inquisition Base back on the Island of Calm, then these lines would have more merit. In those places, it's understandable to get lost because they actively try to mess with your sense of direction and intentionally mislead you. The Lilycove Sewer, on the other hand, is the most straightforward dungeon in the game and by far the easiest level design-wise.
: "... How are you not able to get out of here? The entrance is a few strokes away!"
Manfred: "Don't judge me for not wanting to waft through other people's waste, son."
: "Well, alright man - oh come on, you too?!"
A-AL CAPONE?! As in 1930-40s crimelord Al Capone? That definitely explains why he would be hostile towards Jack, but still!
Valor shows his boys why you don't mess with Jack, though.
"Will you answer it?"
Given how we already have an Annoying Plot Professor, I can understand why Jack is hesitant on answering. But what the hell, let's go for it.
Mystery Caller: "I've got a mission for you. Can you accept it?"
: "Um, what is it?"
Mystery Caller: "Accept and I'll tell you."
: "Fine, I accept. What is it?"
"A long time ago, I lost a certain item when the ship I was travelling on was wrecked in a storm. I need you to obtain that item for me."
: "Where is it? What is it?"
Mystery Caller: "It's about the size of a football and shaped like a rounded cone, made of stone. You can find it in the ship wreck, where'd you think?"
: "Where should I take it?"
Mystery Caller: "I'll wait somewhere in the Sewers."
[He hangs up]
You're telling me. I don't really care though, because that means I get to notch this onto the sidequest list!
I'll give Cutlerine one thing - when he's not making them crappy, the brand new areas he makes are actually pretty decent. He's up there with Tite Kubo (the creator of the Bleach) when it comes to trolling creators.
If your name is Dirthugger and you're swimming through human refuse, then no wonder why you're a nutjob.
Again, Ambes doesn't even try and just sneezes his opponent to death despite being eleven levels lo - oh my god, what is with Ambes and the innuendos.
I can definitely agree on this.
"The Inquisition's Five Ninja are hidden around Hoenn... There's a reward for finding them all!" - the Cutlerine."
... So Cutlerine himself is a character in the game? Okay, whatever, I'm not gong to question this for the sake of whatever sanity I have left and just add it to the Sidequest List.
Translation: "You're going to have a disgusting time."
Oh hey, a crate that holds an infinite amount of Super Potions. I haven't seen those in a long time, but at this point it's really just an emergency back up if you manage to waste all of your Full Restores and Hyper Potions.
: [Gargles as he slides down the rotten waterfall]
: "This is, without a doubt, the worst idea Birch has had yet."
Oh hey, there's more people. I wonder what they have to say.
"Is this what Mary Sue meant by Them?"
What.
Oh boy, more Fish Girls! I still stand by what I said regarding them not making any sense. They're not even "crazy" by the standards of the game, given all of the other things we've seen so far.
Gardevoirs will dominate everything no matter how low-leveled they are.
Swampert, on the other hand, will be today's pacebreaker. Earthquake from this guy is enough to murder everybody, so please don't do what I'm doing and bring a Grass type anything to get rid of this dude.
Thankfully for me, a well-timed Slash critical guts the Swampert and removes him from play.
"Is this where she came from?"
You know, that raises a good question. Why was she all the way at Victory Road?
However, since this Fish Girl isn't one of the cool kids that have Swampert, she gets washed away almost immediately.
In hindsight, I could have skipped this part and saved myself a lot of pain. But again, any experience is good experience.
A one-way waterfall later, and we're stuck here. This is the point of no return for the sewer, but this is also the end of it. Yeah, it didn't take that long.
The game tries to pull out some obscure reference, the usual.
Right, see. To proceed, we have to find the switch that opens one of these waterfalls.
If you were me in this situation, you would have been going
almost immediately.
Thankfully though, it's much simpler than it appears. You only have to press one switch, and picking a bad one won't reset your progress, so it's not like Lt. Surge's Gym from Gen 1 (thank god).
I don't understand how Snakewood's difficulty works. Sometimes it's soul crushingly difficult to the point where people have been driven off from finishing the game... while other times it's an utter cakewalk. Like...
With that out of the way though, let's proceed.
... Into another damn teleporter maze.
Honestly though, this one isn't that bad either. You just have to keep going into them until you make it out through the right one.
See, it's not so bad.
There's a medical kit here for some reason. I don't know why, though.
"This is the end of the sewer network. Beyond this door... is Senex. My destiny awaits."
Alright guys, this is pretty intense. Let's get this over with!
[Current audio in-game: Mt. Pyre Peak]
: "Hmph. Very droll. As you have no doubt guessed, this is a trap. The lever that would have turned off the other waterfall, the one that would have lead to Sootopolis, was broken by us."
: "Oh, great idea, Birch..."
You can just feel the resentment Jack has for going along with Birch's half-baked plans.
: "Oh, nothing. I was just cursing the guy whose idea it was for me to come here via the sew - BYE NOW!"
Oh, that wacky Jacky.
"Quickly, Temulence, return to Sootopolis and seal the other exit! I'll go after him myself!"
[Temulence and the zombie disappear in a fade to black transition]
... I don't like where this is going.
You know, give Jack some credit. He at least decides to hide here instead of staying out in the open like an idiot.
"You can't go any further, can you?"
(Mutters): "Like hell I can't!"
[Theme I would use for this scene: The Guardian]
... This is surprisingly disturbing for what it is.
: "If you think you can win, why not give it a shot?"
: ("His eyes... they've gone black. I don't think he means a Pokemon battle... I think he means magic. Time to run!")
: "The Taoist is one with the Tao, which is everywhere. Thus, I am everywhere. No matter where you go."
: "G-gah!"
Not to undermine the severity of the scene, but this is so stupid. If Gleis could have done this at any time, why not do it sooner? That, and why did we need to rescue his sorry ass from the Inquisition base if he could have just teleported out with "the power of the Tao" like he says here? My only explanation is that Senex must have made him stronger, because this doesn't make any sense otherwise.
: "You don't listen, do you? Arrogant child. Do you seriously think you ever stood a chance? We have been toying with you so far. The battles of real life are not fought with Pokemon, but within men's hearts and souls. And I can crush those souls with nothing but a wave... of... my... hand..."
Edgy.
[Flash of light]
: "Goodbye, Jack."
[Flash of light]
: "NOOOOOOOOO!!"
[The screen turns completely white]
... Huh? Where are we now? Did we get teleported back home?
"So it was all a dream... Oh, thank God. So much lunacy and terror... Anyway, let's go down to get some breakfast."
Wait, so the entire game was just a dream? The zombie apocalypse was just some night terror? On one hand, I'm mad but on the other I'm relieved.
But hold on a second though. If you check the Hoenn map on the wall there, you'll find out that we're in... Sootopolis? What the hell?
(apparently the creator is from europe, given how he throws mum and pence around as terms)
"I couldn't be happier. Really, I couldn't. There can be no better husband for May than Landon."
Mum: "It's turning out to be the biggest news story of the week... Your brother and May getting married, that is. You'd better go and get ready for the wedding."
Just a reminder to everybody, Jack is supposed to be the older sibling and is only sixteen. What the fuck, Cutlerine. The only way this would make sense in a way that isn't horribly unsettling is if Landon and May were like 25+.
[Jack turns to his mother, who morphs into Gleis]
[Replay "The Guardian"]
: "What is it, dear?"
: "Oh my god... GLEIS?!"
: "It's just me, dear. Just your mother."
[Jack hops off the table next to him and dashes out the door]
With a bombshell like that, you know we're in for a good time. Don't bother going to the other houses - they're all just painted walls and there's no exit from town.
: "I need help, Darren, there's a Taoist in my -"
[The kid morphs into Gleis]
: "What do you mean, Jack?
[Flash of light]
:"Wh-what?!"
[The screen goes completely white again]
: "G-gah... Accursed Gardevoir! A bit more and he would have been a mere husk of a man... Cross my path again and Faceleech will tear your tender flesh to ribbons!"
(just a bit of extra dialogue i decided to put in)
[Theme I would use for the Necropolis as the Mt. Chimney theme isn't going to cut it: Journey to the Mountain of the Demon King]
: "... Wh-what happened?'
: ("Gleis was trying to destroy your mind with his influence, Jack. If I hadn't stepped in, he would have succeeded. Are you okay?")
: "I hope I am. Thank you though, Bellamine. You really saved me back there."
: ("It was the least I could do for you.")
"Ah, this is confusing. Better to concentrate on what's happening. Where did Gleis take me?"
[Jack looks around]
: "Looks like a subterranean prison of some sort. I need to find my way out of here."
Oh man, what do I say about this entire scene? Not only was it wonderfully creepy and a bit of a mindfuck, it showed off how competent Gleis really is. He's one of my favorite characters in the game aside from Jack, to be honest.
"Without time to think about how he did that, it's time to fight!"
Alright, then. If he's the guy guarding Jack's cell, what kind of Pokemon does he have to stop us? The last Gaoler we met had a Corsola.
LEVEL 100?! WHAT?!
Actually, he's not that bad. See, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose this fight as you're still knocked out at the end of it. However, you could always go the "badass" route and beat him up.
Which is what I do.
Jeanne took out a level 100 Grim Reaper Scyther like it's no big thing despite being half of his level. This is why I love this woman.
(immediate regret)
Why do I do this to myself? See, Gorelax is every bit as bulky as you would expect such a monstrosity to be at level 100. On top of being nightmarishly strong and durable, the Gaoler guy will drop Full Restores on him to completely heal him back to green and undo whatever pitiful damage you might have had.
If you just want to skip this, then by all means save yourself the frustration and let him beat you up. But since I'm determined to take it out, I have to sit through the torture.
OH MY GOD THIS WAS SUCH A DUMB IDEA
To you guys it may seem like like just another screenshot, but this took about twenty minutes in-game of constant healing and reviving. And even then, at least four members of the active Crew were knocked out for this result. It was horrible.
But... I TOOK OUT A GODDAMN LEVEL 100 GORELAX! THROW OUT THE CONFETTI AND THE RED CARPET!
He tried to clap for Jack so hard that his hands fell off.
"The Battle Zombie kicks you violently in the face, and you pass out..."
This is your reward for winning, by the way. It raises multiple questions (why couldn't the zombies attack Jack directly earlier, etc.), but hey at least Cutlerine actually made something different for the astronomical impossibility when you do beat this guy.
What will Jack's fate be? What are Gleis and pals up to? See you next time on Pokemon Snakewood for the answer.
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Sidequest List:
(Bellamine,
, Level 60,
) - "Fend off the zombies!"
(Ambes,
, Level 58,
) - "Is Jack alright?!"
(Jeanne,
, Level 58,
) - * Is shooting off a Flamethrower at zombies coming her way *
(Valor,
, Level 58, has Plus Band,
/
) - * Decapitates some of the zombies with his new sword *
(Umbra,
, Level 57,
) - "Urgh... Why now of all times? Wait, is that Doctor-"
(Ballin,
, level 58,
/
) - * Floods the zombies away with Surf *
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Back-up Team:
(Reggie,
, Level 33, has Leftovers,
/
) - "Oh man, Jack and the Crew are in trouble!"
(Zagon,
, Level 33,
) - * is very glad that she didn't get chosen to go into the sewers *
(Alice,
, level 12,
) - "Is Jack alright, nya?!"
(Ace,
, Level 40, has Anadrin Talon,
/
) - "If only I was there to save them...!"
(Tohru,
, Level 46,
/
) - "Things look grim for the Active Crew... but wait, who's that?"
(Pumbloom,
, level 14,
) - "O-oh no, Jack got knocked out!"
(Wagner,
, Level 44,
/
) - "Gleis took Jack to the Necropolis?! They won't survive in that condition!"
(Chloris,
, level 43,
/
) - "... Jack'll be alright. I hope."
(Beatrice,
, Level 26,
/
) - "Oh goodness!"
(Shine,
, level 12,
) - "Ambes, you can do it! Help them save Jack!"
(Spark,
, level 12,
) - "Oh man, things got really messed up in the span of a few minutes."
(Alpha, level 50,
/
) - "... I LIKE THE CUT OF THIS GLEIS'S JIB."
(Letro, level 31,
/
) - "OF COURSE YOU DO."
(Juno,
, Level 38,
) - "Whoa, they need some help! Come on, everybody!"
(Menti,
, level 37,
/
) - "... Jack's in trouble. I need to stop the necromancer at any cost! But... what good am I in this form?"
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Future Dan Says: At the time of this re-upload, it actually was nearing Christmas again! How about that.
Chapter 24 - Sewer of my Dreams
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spoiler:
[You know the drill: Morning Sunlight]
[Bellamine opens the curtains and lets in sunlight]
[Jack grumbles as the rays of light hit his face]
Before you get any impressions, no we're not suddenly back in a magically fixed Littleroot.
"Through here is the spare room, where Trainers who have beaten the leaguemasters can enjoy a well-deserved night's rest."
Very nice considering the hell that was the Snakewood Elite Four. If I can be real here, how the hell did Cutlerine expect you to do that without grinding obsessively? From what I've seen later on, it gets even worse than that.
I've also learned that the only way to get back to Fort Draco is to use the one-way exit back in Victory Road, which is actually a brilliant idea due to the limitations he put in place.
See, for some inexplicable reason, you aren't allowed to fly to certain places such as Mossdeep, Mauville, and so on. I was afraid that Cutlerine may have screwed over the players that hadn't finished collecting everything that was there, such as the Tower I never went into for some reason. Thankfully, that's not the case.
Surprisingly enough, the post-game of Snakewood is very Chrono Trigger-esque regarding the things we can tackle. There's a ton of sidequests that have opened up now that we have access to Fly, although I'm not sure if it's really just Cutlerine not stopping the player from reaching said areas before they're meant to.
The postgame of Snakewood is as meaty as the regular game, given all the clues of phat lewt that've been scattered around this playthrough. Honestly, it's kind of a Big Deal given that this is a rom hack.
And another thing - oh wait, the Plot Guide is calling.
"Sootopolis City, the lair of Senex - the guy behind this zombie invasion. Some kind of necromancer, I think."
Jack, what are you talking about? You know he's a necromancer - oh whatever.
See, even the game is calling bullshit on the two swimming zombies. I knew they were just one-off NPCs. Thank god too, because I would have had a migraine trying to figure out how it worked.
Claps for Jack finally getting a burn on that salty old professor.
Let me just break out the good ol' Ace Express and...
We're here. I would just head straight to the tunnel, but there's some incompetence I have to show off.
If you decide to go back into the Department Store for some inexplicable reason, you'll find out that the Deadly Seven and the zombies are all back and sporting all of the dialogue they had back at the Department Store Siege.
So, because Cutlerine got super lazy at this point of the game, it's very possible to walk into a goddamn time-loop of all things.
This should also be a good indication of the postgame's stability.
But let's not dwell on that and just go into the tunnel.
.... is that
"What are we surfing in...? Ugh, we need to get out of this stuff and onto land quick!"
HOLY GARBAGE DISPOSAL, BATMAN!
(Seriously though, I like how the surfing water is actually changed to be brown for this. It's a nice touch... if beyond disgusting)
[Current audio in-game: Th-the Sealed Chamber theme?!?]
WHAT?!
Why does such a mystical and mysterious song get used for a godforsaken sewer of all places? Did Cutlerine want the poop nuggets to be seen as long lost world treasures or something?
Jack is still a good audience surrogate character. Break out your confidence pills, boys, you're going to need them.
These Rock Smash rocks become much more horrifying in the context of where we are.
^ He's definitely lying because Qwilshark are, on average, 21 feet tall.
Stay classy, Cutlerine.
You'd think that brutalizing other people's Pokemon without remorse would get to Jack and Crew after a while, if only for a bit. But then again, if they were truly innocent, they wouldn't try to attack the Crew when they're "asking" for help.
Mary-Sue: "Oh, you'll see them if you keep going. The people who've been lost down here for too long. The crazy folk."
So why is she called Mary-Sue if the purpose of her existence is to give us helpful advice?
Okay, Cutlerine has to be teasing me now because this is the third buyable item that's just been lying around. Like come on, dude.
To think if she had held off of stealing from Jack, this would have been much easier for her.
"There's something in the air here - it's like we're breathing in rotten determination and false hopes."
Yeah, I don't care. Not a good time or place to be *symbolic*.
"Abandon all hope, ye who play Pokemon Snakewood" should be a sign somewhere around here. Nice depression beard, though.
I can understand the Elite Four - the top tier "don't mess with me" Trainers of the entire region - having Pokemon with really high levels. A random person in the middle of nowhere, on the other hand, should not be this strong.
It's a common video game trope to have all of the weak guys at the start of the journey while all of the world destroyers are at the end, but this is one of those times where it doesn't make sense.
Okay, no. If this were the Madio Caves or the Inquisition Base back on the Island of Calm, then these lines would have more merit. In those places, it's understandable to get lost because they actively try to mess with your sense of direction and intentionally mislead you. The Lilycove Sewer, on the other hand, is the most straightforward dungeon in the game and by far the easiest level design-wise.
Manfred: "Don't judge me for not wanting to waft through other people's waste, son."
A-AL CAPONE?! As in 1930-40s crimelord Al Capone? That definitely explains why he would be hostile towards Jack, but still!
Valor shows his boys why you don't mess with Jack, though.
"Will you answer it?"
Given how we already have an Annoying Plot Professor, I can understand why Jack is hesitant on answering. But what the hell, let's go for it.
Mystery Caller: "I've got a mission for you. Can you accept it?"
Mystery Caller: "Accept and I'll tell you."
"A long time ago, I lost a certain item when the ship I was travelling on was wrecked in a storm. I need you to obtain that item for me."
Mystery Caller: "It's about the size of a football and shaped like a rounded cone, made of stone. You can find it in the ship wreck, where'd you think?"
Mystery Caller: "I'll wait somewhere in the Sewers."
[He hangs up]
You're telling me. I don't really care though, because that means I get to notch this onto the sidequest list!
- Go to the abandoned ship and get the mystery caller's item
- Collect all fifty Broken Hearts (8 out of 50)
- Get Strength to move the boulders
I'll give Cutlerine one thing - when he's not making them crappy, the brand new areas he makes are actually pretty decent. He's up there with Tite Kubo (the creator of the Bleach) when it comes to trolling creators.
If your name is Dirthugger and you're swimming through human refuse, then no wonder why you're a nutjob.
Again, Ambes doesn't even try and just sneezes his opponent to death despite being eleven levels lo - oh my god, what is with Ambes and the innuendos.
I can definitely agree on this.
"The Inquisition's Five Ninja are hidden around Hoenn... There's a reward for finding them all!" - the Cutlerine."
... So Cutlerine himself is a character in the game? Okay, whatever, I'm not gong to question this for the sake of whatever sanity I have left and just add it to the Sidequest List.
- Has a Wailord and Qwilshark
- Neither know Surf despite being Water Pokemon that are clearly large enough to ferry multiple people around
- Is able to fit Wailord in this narrow-ass space
Translation: "You're going to have a disgusting time."
Oh hey, a crate that holds an infinite amount of Super Potions. I haven't seen those in a long time, but at this point it's really just an emergency back up if you manage to waste all of your Full Restores and Hyper Potions.
Oh hey, there's more people. I wonder what they have to say.
"Is this what Mary Sue meant by Them?"
What.
Oh boy, more Fish Girls! I still stand by what I said regarding them not making any sense. They're not even "crazy" by the standards of the game, given all of the other things we've seen so far.
Gardevoirs will dominate everything no matter how low-leveled they are.
Swampert, on the other hand, will be today's pacebreaker. Earthquake from this guy is enough to murder everybody, so please don't do what I'm doing and bring a Grass type anything to get rid of this dude.
Thankfully for me, a well-timed Slash critical guts the Swampert and removes him from play.
"Is this where she came from?"
You know, that raises a good question. Why was she all the way at Victory Road?
However, since this Fish Girl isn't one of the cool kids that have Swampert, she gets washed away almost immediately.
In hindsight, I could have skipped this part and saved myself a lot of pain. But again, any experience is good experience.
A one-way waterfall later, and we're stuck here. This is the point of no return for the sewer, but this is also the end of it. Yeah, it didn't take that long.
The game tries to pull out some obscure reference, the usual.
Right, see. To proceed, we have to find the switch that opens one of these waterfalls.
If you were me in this situation, you would have been going
Thankfully though, it's much simpler than it appears. You only have to press one switch, and picking a bad one won't reset your progress, so it's not like Lt. Surge's Gym from Gen 1 (thank god).
I don't understand how Snakewood's difficulty works. Sometimes it's soul crushingly difficult to the point where people have been driven off from finishing the game... while other times it's an utter cakewalk. Like...
With that out of the way though, let's proceed.
... Into another damn teleporter maze.
Honestly though, this one isn't that bad either. You just have to keep going into them until you make it out through the right one.
See, it's not so bad.
There's a medical kit here for some reason. I don't know why, though.
"This is the end of the sewer network. Beyond this door... is Senex. My destiny awaits."
Alright guys, this is pretty intense. Let's get this over with!
[Current audio in-game: Mt. Pyre Peak]
You can just feel the resentment Jack has for going along with Birch's half-baked plans.
Oh, that wacky Jacky.
"Quickly, Temulence, return to Sootopolis and seal the other exit! I'll go after him myself!"
[Temulence and the zombie disappear in a fade to black transition]
... I don't like where this is going.
You know, give Jack some credit. He at least decides to hide here instead of staying out in the open like an idiot.
"You can't go any further, can you?"
[Theme I would use for this scene: The Guardian]
... This is surprisingly disturbing for what it is.
Not to undermine the severity of the scene, but this is so stupid. If Gleis could have done this at any time, why not do it sooner? That, and why did we need to rescue his sorry ass from the Inquisition base if he could have just teleported out with "the power of the Tao" like he says here? My only explanation is that Senex must have made him stronger, because this doesn't make any sense otherwise.
Edgy.
[Flash of light]
[Flash of light]
[The screen turns completely white]
... Huh? Where are we now? Did we get teleported back home?
"So it was all a dream... Oh, thank God. So much lunacy and terror... Anyway, let's go down to get some breakfast."
Wait, so the entire game was just a dream? The zombie apocalypse was just some night terror? On one hand, I'm mad but on the other I'm relieved.
But hold on a second though. If you check the Hoenn map on the wall there, you'll find out that we're in... Sootopolis? What the hell?
(apparently the creator is from europe, given how he throws mum and pence around as terms)
"I couldn't be happier. Really, I couldn't. There can be no better husband for May than Landon."
Mum: "It's turning out to be the biggest news story of the week... Your brother and May getting married, that is. You'd better go and get ready for the wedding."
Just a reminder to everybody, Jack is supposed to be the older sibling and is only sixteen. What the fuck, Cutlerine. The only way this would make sense in a way that isn't horribly unsettling is if Landon and May were like 25+.
[Jack turns to his mother, who morphs into Gleis]
[Replay "The Guardian"]
[Jack hops off the table next to him and dashes out the door]
With a bombshell like that, you know we're in for a good time. Don't bother going to the other houses - they're all just painted walls and there's no exit from town.
[The kid morphs into Gleis]
[Flash of light]
[The screen goes completely white again]
(just a bit of extra dialogue i decided to put in)
[Theme I would use for the Necropolis as the Mt. Chimney theme isn't going to cut it: Journey to the Mountain of the Demon King]
"Ah, this is confusing. Better to concentrate on what's happening. Where did Gleis take me?"
[Jack looks around]
Oh man, what do I say about this entire scene? Not only was it wonderfully creepy and a bit of a mindfuck, it showed off how competent Gleis really is. He's one of my favorite characters in the game aside from Jack, to be honest.
"Without time to think about how he did that, it's time to fight!"
Alright, then. If he's the guy guarding Jack's cell, what kind of Pokemon does he have to stop us? The last Gaoler we met had a Corsola.
Actually, he's not that bad. See, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose this fight as you're still knocked out at the end of it. However, you could always go the "badass" route and beat him up.
Which is what I do.
Jeanne took out a level 100 Grim Reaper Scyther like it's no big thing despite being half of his level. This is why I love this woman.
(immediate regret)
Why do I do this to myself? See, Gorelax is every bit as bulky as you would expect such a monstrosity to be at level 100. On top of being nightmarishly strong and durable, the Gaoler guy will drop Full Restores on him to completely heal him back to green and undo whatever pitiful damage you might have had.
If you just want to skip this, then by all means save yourself the frustration and let him beat you up. But since I'm determined to take it out, I have to sit through the torture.
OH MY GOD THIS WAS SUCH A DUMB IDEA
To you guys it may seem like like just another screenshot, but this took about twenty minutes in-game of constant healing and reviving. And even then, at least four members of the active Crew were knocked out for this result. It was horrible.
But... I TOOK OUT A GODDAMN LEVEL 100 GORELAX! THROW OUT THE CONFETTI AND THE RED CARPET!
He tried to clap for Jack so hard that his hands fell off.
"The Battle Zombie kicks you violently in the face, and you pass out..."
This is your reward for winning, by the way. It raises multiple questions (why couldn't the zombies attack Jack directly earlier, etc.), but hey at least Cutlerine actually made something different for the astronomical impossibility when you do beat this guy.
What will Jack's fate be? What are Gleis and pals up to? See you next time on Pokemon Snakewood for the answer.
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Sidequest List:
- Go to the abandoned ship and get the mystery caller's item
- Defeat all five Inquisition Ninja (2 down)
- Collect all fifty Broken Hearts (8 out of 50)
- Get Strength to move the boulders
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Back-up Team:
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