Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

[BHwolfgang]

Granted, but the next day you have amnesia, forgetting all you knew about Tender is the Night.

I wish for a guitar.

 

[Jayster23]

Granted but it is a toy one that's string is broken

I wish Life was easy

 

[ÇyänïdëÉX]

Granted you become 1 year old again

I wish i could have gotten better sleep last night

 

[Comrade Nikita Ivanova]

Granted, but from now on you'll suffer chronic insomnia.

I wish I had the attention span to finish reading Anna Karenina.

 

[Negative-Zero]

granted, but you forget what you read afterwards.
i wish that i wouldnt be so ignored.

 

[ÇyänïdëÉX]

Granted but you lose all your privacy even when in the bathroom

I wish i had some milk

 

[Comrade Nikita Ivanova]

Granted, but it's sour milk.

I wish I had a Jello mould.

 

[ÇyänïdëÉX]

Granted you get a jello mold but its very very small. Big enough to fit two drops

I wish i had a witch friend

 

[Ninja Caterpie]

Granted, but they turn you into a rat.

I wish people would stop being so impudent and stupid on the interwebs.

(Be original, don't just say people are stupid in real life instead)

 

[Lockmaster24]

granted but you get all the stupidness forced into you.

(that was hard to come up with something)

I wish that I had chicken tonight

 

[Jayster23]

Granted but it was tofu

I wish for a clean pair of underwear :P

 

[ÇyänïdëÉX]

Granted you get a clean pair of underwear but it has as many holes as swiss cheese

I wish the cloggy feel in my ear would go away.

 

[MarstheCar]

Granted, but goes to your hand, and never leaves.

I wish I could talk more at school.

 

[Tsuki.Blossoms]

Granted - Except everything that you say is all squeaky like a mouse~

I wish that I could swim~ <3

 

[Opposite Day]

Granted, but all water on the planet is now replaced with concentrated hydrochloric acid, thus making you unable to use your new-found power without sustaining horrific third-degree burns and other horrible stuffs that happen when your skin get corroded.

I wish that I could have the hair of a super-saya-jin.

 

[MarstheCar]

Granted, but you can never enter buildings (like a hair salon)
I wish I was someplace warm, but not the Sun.

 

[Opposite Day]

Granted. You are now permanently stuck in my armpit.

I wish I had the power of erasing people at will.

 

[MarstheCar]

Granted, but you stand in front of a mirror and get destroyed.
I wish I didn't fail English.

 

[Opposite Day]

Granted, but every single sentient being on the planet fails to grasp the concept of correct grammar, and thus, you are left alone with no chance of being understood by anyone.

I wish that I could become a black hole when I die.

 

[ÇyänïdëÉX]

Granted but you are now in a desolated galaxy no ones ever heard of two dimensions down

I wish i had wings!