Granted. You decide to doodle on it a bit, and end up accidentally calling the Pottsylvanian spy satellite observing your house "full of fail" in their own code which came into existence not even a week ago. Having secretly loaded an experimental laser dubbed a "Class Zero", they shoot a hole in your little cranium and burn the paper. A nearby agent or theirs cleans up afterwards. One person manages to take a picture of the laser while trying to photograph a mockingbird. Being a paranoid conspiracy theorist (who thoroughly enjoys the beauty of local wildlife), he submits it as evidence of alien abduction. He goes to where he assumes the ray of light landed, and finds out that someone has indeed gone missing there. This leads to quiet government action to try and find out where the beam came from. Sure enough, they find and explode the machine that did it, and start focusing some black ops on the country that launched it, which eventually culminates in the discovery of a WMD factory and military occupation of Pottsylvania. When the satellite was destroyed, an insulated chunk of electronics fell to earth and landed in the backyard of a man from Ohio. He messes with it a bit, and manages to make an LED lamp out of it. I hope you're happy.
I wish for McNuggets.