Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

[Jordan]

Granted, but it doesn't tell you any of the important plot points because it is now sentient and hates you.

I wish that I could watch Legend of the Galactic Heroes episode 7.

 

[TheWindMage]

Granted, but the episode happens to be a flashback episode, and with the same ending as episode 6.

I wish for a zombie apocalypse and an impenetrable zombie fortress.

 

[chickenofunity]

Granted, but inside the fortress are 500 screaming children who you now have to take care of single-handedly.

I wish to get rid of my allergies.

 

[dragoniteuser]

Granted, but you get new ones!

I wish for a real Dragonite!

 

[chickenofunity]

Granted, but it eats you.

I wish for food.

 

[ChaoZZ BuBBleZ]

Granted, but its poisoned!

I wish for a Chocolate Bar.

 

[chickenofunity]

Granted but it is so small you can't see it.

I wish for more wishes.

 

[ChaoZZ BuBBleZ]

Granted, but you are restricted to only use your wishes to get a cat to pick your nose.

I wish for new sunglasses

 

[chickenofunity]

Granted, but they are pink and in the shape of hearts. Mwa hahahaa... ahem.

I wish for bubbles.

 

[ChaoZZ BuBBleZ]

Granted, but they pop upon visual detection.

I wish for a Magikarp

 

[last fighter 36]

Granted but it was a super saiyan and killed you.

I wish for clothes.

 

[chickenofunity]

Granted, but they don't fit.

I wish for clothes that do fit.

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted, enjoy your speedos (I know you're a woman, but that's part of the thing).

I wish for ultimate CSS skillz that killz.

 

[Lemonade The Sqeezed Lemon]

Granted but CSS will be replaced with another language and will be obsolete.

I wish for infinite lemons. You kinda saw that coming, huh?

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted. But they're pears.

I wish for comma.

 

[chickenofunity]

Granted, but they are all mouldy.

I wish for purple hair.

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted. You have DOUBLE PURPLE HAIR HAXORZ.

I wish.

 

[chickenofunity]

Granted, but a ninja steals your 'I wish' thought from your head, so you don't make a wish, so it does'nt have to be granted.

I wish for fishfingers.

 

[Lemonade The Sqeezed Lemon]

Granted but the fish are still alive. You eat them raw. :O

I wish time freezes.

 

[GrifSpark]

Granted, permanentally.
*Unable to post due to time having frozen*

I wish that my Phone could intercept millitary communications.