Million Dollar Island Season 1

[Patjuh09]

The Story:
What happens when you put 14 whole different people on 1 island.
All with the same dream: Win the Million Dollar price.
They have to do different assignments to go a round further.
Every week or sometimes 2 weeks, someone has to go.
A quick little thing:
Don't think that this is the same as Total Drama Island.
I must confess that it looks like it is the same, and maybe it is.
But this will be more beautiful and much more detailed.
The participants:
:Alisia: She is just a shy little girl that is 18 years old.
Tough she looks shy and nice, she really likes to party and does everything to win this competition.
She wants the money to live a luxury life. She always pretends to be sweet, but she isn't.

: Dennis: Dennis is a boy that is a little (actually very much) stupid.
He is 20 years old and still haven't finished high school.
He wants to win this competition because he wants to become smarter
(and he thinks that he can become smarter with money)
: Esther: A girl that is 19 years old,
you don't want to get a fight with her, because you wont survive it.
She is very strong and says everything she thinks,
she wants to win the money so she can buy her dad from jail.
: Jake: A shy guy that is 22 years old,
he is the oldest participant and he thinks he needs
to be the *father* of the group. He just wants
to win the money because he can give it to poor people.
: Jill: A very sporty girl, she is 18 years old'
and already is a pro in: football, tennis, hockey and swimming.
She thinks she can win it because the physical assignments.
She wants to buy a real sports field of her own.
: John: John is a very flirty guy that already has 13 girlfriends,
he is 19 years old. He wants to buy a whole army
of girls for himself.
: Lisa: Lisa is 17 years old and doesn't want to get dirty.
She always wears dresses and always talks with two words.
She only wants to win for the fame,
because she already is a milionair.
: Lucas: Lucas is a though guy and is 20 years old.
He gives you a punch when you don't want to listen to him.
But deep inside has he a golden heart.
He wants to win the money to live in a luxury villa and live the luxury life.
: Lucy: She is 21 years old and looks very nice.
But she does everything to win this competition and she can be very mean
and also plays mean. She wants to win this competition
because she likes money a lot.
: Rick: Rick is 19 years but no one knows for sure.
He never says something and likes to be in the background.
No one knows why he wants the money.
: Tina: Tina is a heavy-metal fan, she is 21 years old.
She always is in the background listening to her music.
She wants the money because she can make her own band.
: Tomas: He is 19 years old and he lives in Afrika.
He is the only international participant.
He is very poor and wants to win the money because he can make his family a little richer.
: Tyler: She is very happy all the time, and a little childly for her age.
She is 20 years old, but she pretends she is 8.
She wants to win this competition so she can show everyone that she can be a grown-up.
: Tyrone: He is 21 years old and is a wonderkid.
He is very smart and has won different prices in his life.
He wants to win the money, just to become more famous.
Sorry:
Sorry for my bad English, I am Dutch and I am still learning English.
Questions:
Copy this in your post and write your answer behind it.
Who do you think is going to win?
Who is your favorite?
Who do you think is going to leave in the next chapter?
Remember that this will not effect the story because I already thought about the winner.
Chapters:
A Dream (Prologue)
Run To The Finish
Don't Impress The Judges
Double Trouble
10 Cards
Camping (Extra Chapter)
Game Competition
Final 8
Race
007
On To Paris (Extra Episode)
Map Blast
Almost There
The Last Goodbye
The Final (Part 1)
The Final (Part 2)
A Dream (Prologue):

'Next!' 'Hello, I am Dennis, and I want to compete in this competition,
because I want to become smarter.'
'And why do you think that this will help?'
'Don't know…..'
After everyone has did his or hers audition,
all the 100 people are called together.
'I will now tell witch 14 people will compete in Million Dollar Island!'

'The first one is: Lisa! Because we think that she has a unique life,
and a unique reason to win this.' 'Jippie!
I am much better than all of you, and I'm sure that I will win this!'
Lisa screams.

'The second one is: Jake! Because he is a great leader.'
'Ok, that is exactly what I hoped they will say' reacts Jake.

And so… All the 14 participants are called forward.
ExTy (The Host) says: 'Alright, you can grab your
luggage from the luggage-room and meet me in an hour.'
1 Hour later….
'I wonder what will happen.' Esther breaks the silence.
It remains quiet….
'Me too' Lucas says.
'Who thinks that he or she has a big chance to win this?' Tyler wants to get a conversation started.
'I know for sure' Esther and Lisa say the same. 'Me think too' Tomas says.
'I hope that I will get to the finals.' Tyler breaks the silence again.
'Why do you hope that, you can know for sure, like I do.' Lisa gets a little angry at Tyler.
'Why are you so angry, it's not like that you are the best person in the world!'
Esther gets angry at Lisa. Lisa and Esther are yelling at each other like that for a while until ExTy walks in.

'The airplane is ready to leave.'
All the participants are boarding the plane, except Tyler.
She is still a little bit sad about the fight between
Esther and Lisa she caused. After a few minutes of thinking, she decides
that she still wants to go to the island.

In the plane, everyone was listening to music, or just sleeping.
It was a long audition day and they don't realize that they are really special.
And they are still not thinking about their first assignment, and most important:
the first one to leave the group…….
After a few hours of waiting in the plane,
they arrived at the island. Everyone is amazed by how big it is.
They see a giant beach were they landed, a beautiful field
and far away they see a forest, with a long road towards it.
They all begin to run, but after 10 minutes running they start to walk.
'Damn, it is a very long road…' Dennis looks very tired.
'Did you just found out, or have you been thinking about how to
say it 20 minutes long?' Lisa has to be mean and gets 13 mad glances from the other people.
After 45 minutes walking, they see a large villa come closer and
closer every step they take. They start to run again, but this time
they are running faster and faster, they all start to scream .
When they arrive at the door of the house, they stopped.
'Who has the key?' Jake breaks the silence.
'Not me' everyone says the same. Exactly at that moment, ExTy
appears. He says: 'I do.' 'Man, it looks like you are going to
marry someone!' Esther starts to laugh alone.
ExTy blushes. 'I'll give it to you,
Jake, because you are the oldest.' 'I knew it, he always will be treated like a father.' Lisa gets mad again.
'You're just jealous at him, but I'm not, I'm happy for
him.' Lucy says it, and gets a blush. Everyone is thinking the same: She likes Jake……

Everyone is running around in the house, and they all are surprised that they have a swimming pool in their backyard. The rest of the house consists of a living room with a fire place, a cozy sitting place and a giant plasma tv. There are 4 sleeping rooms: 2 boy-rooms and 2 girl-rooms. Both have there own bathroom.
They had a little disagreement about the rooms, but they finally know it for sure, these are the rooms:
Boy-room 1: Dennis, John, Lucas, Tomas. Boy-room 2: Tyrone, Rick, Jake. Girl-room 1: Lisa, Jill, Tyler. Girl-room 2: Tyler, Tina, Lucy, Esther.
Dennis: 'I wonder what our first assignment is.'
John: 'Oh yeah, I forgot about the assignments, I thought ExTy said the first one was over 2 days.'
Tomas: 'We do wait that long!? I not want to wait that long.'
Lucas: 'I hoped that we have our first assignment in a week, I first want to know the people, in 2 days the first one has to leave.'
John: 'Maybe one of us has to leave….'
Quiet…….
The boys in room 1 are talking a long time and they start to become friends.
Jill: 'I hope our first assignment is a physical assignment.'
Tyler: 'No, I hope it is a quiz or something, I'm not good at running.'
Jill: 'I'm not so good at quizzes.' 'What do you hope, Lisa?'
Lisa: 'You two are really babies.'
Jill: 'What is that about? Do you have to be mean or something?'
Lisa: 'Yep'.
Jill: 'You know, I'm really done with you!'
Jill walks out the room and is very mad. It remains quiet.

Next time in Million Dollar Island:
The first assignment has started. The people have to run an relay in 2 teams.
Rick is falling in love and the fake-love between Lucy and Jake is getting better and better.
But what is Jake doing underground?
Chapter 2: Run To The Finish!

 

[Astinus]

The images are really distracting. @.@

It's kinda hard to read for a variety of reasons, like lack of proper paragraphing, and your grammar problems. I know that you're trying to learn English, so maybe you could look for a beta reader to work one-on-one with you? Or look up things online? I know there's a lot of information out there.

But...yeah. The images are very distracting, especially with those advertisements that come with them. There's no reason to use them in the story, since you should mainly use your words. So instead of having an image of the character saying their dialog, you would actually say it in the story.

Let's just go with "this doesn't meet the grammar/description" part of the rules. If you have any questions, you can PM me.