Mister Monster, Hath you no Mercy? [ harsh crits encouraged ]

[jaimelectric]

A quick sketch for my very good friend A. Bodman.
Muhuwahahaha. -pokes teefs-

I want brutal criticism on this. Rip it limb from limb.
Just don't crit the lineart itself, because it's a sketch and not the final, clean copy. C:
And yes. His jaw, ears, and mouth are shaped like that. lol

 

[♥RanaRocket!☆]

OKay, well, the first thing that really jumped out at me was the back leg, the one thats lifted. It looks out of place, like it unbalances it. its not that its badly drawn or anything, it's just how tense and sturdy everything else on the monster is, i mean, the rest of the legs look locked into place and the hind one just seems to be randomly lifted. it just seems awkward. if i were you, i'd put it down on the floor with the rest. it'll make the monster more imposing and less prissy-looking, and keep it a bit more balanced overall.
Also, the foreleg that you drew slightly sideways needs a quick fix. it's nothing major but you have it horsey-legs, right? so the hoof and the fetlock are more directly aligned, that is; you've drawn the hoof almost horizontal to the fetlock, but it should be UNDER it, a little more. so just hoick the hoof back a few millemeters under the leg would fix it... (but not RIGHT under... its hard to explain :s, its like you gave it a bit toooo much foot, you just need to reduce it?)

uuuh, i hope that makes sense :s
There seems to be a tad too much neck, or maybe not enough beef on the body, but maybe you designed it that way so i won't go into that too much. But i did notice the tail...

okay, that is a REALLY nicely designed tail and the little loop at the end is just DARLING<3! honestly, i DO love what you've done there but, the tail looks so fluid towards the end, but the middle part, it seems to ridgid. i'd reccommend just... loosening it a little, just take the stright part and make it a gently 'u' dip to just make it smoother and so it flows into that beautiful part at the end more easily. again, i hope you see what i mean, it doesn't have to be anything drastic here, but a little bit of work could make all the difference!

well, crits aside, i really do like this! it shows alot of skill in animal anatomy! the muscle formations and the knees are especially well done! I really like the three eyes,. you pulled that off spectacularly imho. Plus the design of the jaw is so bulky and nasty-looking, i mean, i wouldn't wanna get a bite from that thing! *not to mention how fast it looks like it could run. gack. talk about nightmare @A@!*

:3! dones finaly copy mean we get to see colours?! oh i really hope so! I'd love to see this in colour! <3!

keep up the great work! ¦)! *thumbsup*

 

[ShinjisLover]

I agree with RanaRocket, the back leg does seem out of the place due to the random elevation.


The neck is a bit too big. Either that, or you should've made the body longer. The shoulder blade for the left leg should be much bigger than that as well. The head also seems to be too big. The head should be the size of the bum on the horse. If you look at an actual picture (which I'm sure you did), you'll notice that.


On both of the right legs, the joint is pointed, rather than rounded.


That's all I see. Overall, once you get past the size discrepancies, it's a very nice picture. Good job.
​

 

[Vyro]

Hmm....

1) Well, as said before, the back leg makes no sense. He would topple over.

2) The neck is much too fat. enough said.

 

[jaimelectric]

*OKay, well, the first thing that really jumped out at me was the back leg, the one thats lifted. It looks out of place, like it unbalances it. its not that its badly drawn or anything, it's just how tense and sturdy everything else on the monster is, i mean, the rest of the legs look locked into place and the hind one just seems to be randomly lifted. it just seems awkward. if i were you, i'd put it down on the floor with the rest. it'll make the monster more imposing and less prissy-looking, and keep it a bit more balanced overall.
Also, the foreleg that you drew slightly sideways needs a quick fix. it's nothing major but you have it horsey-legs, right? so the hoof and the fetlock are more directly aligned, that is; you've drawn the hoof almost horizontal to the fetlock, but it should be UNDER it, a little more. *so just hoick the hoof back a few millemeters under the leg would fix it... (but not RIGHT under... its hard to explain :s, its like you gave it a bit toooo much foot, you just need to reduce it?)

uuuh, i hope that makes sense :s
There seems to be a tad too much neck, or maybe not enough beef on the body, but maybe you designed it that way so i won't go into that too much. But i did notice the tail...

okay, that is a REALLY nicely designed tail and the little loop at the end is just DARLING<3! honestly, i DO love what you've done there but, the tail looks so fluid towards the end, but the middle part, it seems to ridgid. i'd reccommend just... loosening it a little, just take the stright part and make it a gently 'u' dip to just make it smoother and so it flows into that beautiful part at the end more easily. again, i hope you see what i mean, it doesn't have to be anything drastic here, but a little bit of work could make all the difference!

well, crits aside, i really do like this! it shows alot of skill in animal anatomy! the muscle formations and the knees are especially well done! I really like the three eyes,. you pulled that off spectacularly imho. Plus the design of the jaw is so bulky and nasty-looking, i mean, i wouldn't wanna get a bite from that thing! *not to mention how fast it looks like it could run. gack. talk about nightmare @A@!*

:3! dones finaly copy mean we get to see colours?! oh i really hope so! I'd love to see this in colour! <3!

keep up the great work! ¦)! *thumbsup*

I agree with RanaRocket, the back leg does seem out of the place due to the random elevation.​

The neck is a bit too big. Either that, or you should've made the body longer. The shoulder blade for the left leg should be much bigger than that as well. *The head also seems to be too big. The head should be the size of the bum on the horse. *If you look at an actual picture (which I'm sure you did), you'll notice that.​

On both of the right legs, *the joint is pointed, rather than rounded. ​

That's all I see. Overall, once you get past the size discrepancies, it's a very nice picture. Good job.​

Thank you guys SOO much for the help and compliments. really. Drawing equines is one of the most annoying things I try to do, so it makes me happy to see that I pulled this off well. I'll gladly take into account everything you've said here, and will improve the final vastly before coloring.

*I can now see the problem with this. I will probably re-draw it on the ground. (:
*Don't worry, I know exactly what you are talking about and I will try to fix it to the best of my ability.
*I think the head may be too big as well, though it is the angle of the creature that makes his rear appear so small. I will probably do some resizing and reshaping in this area.
*Actually, all of this anatomy is off the head. No reference pictures were involved, though it pleasures me greatly to see that this is good enough to pass for referenced. <3
*His fetlocks have spikes on them. Look close and you'll see that they do round off. (;

 

[ShinjisLover]

*His fetlocks have spikes on them. Look close and you'll see that they do round off. (;

I thought you screwed up and forgot to erase. XD Then scratch that! =D​

 

[PikaFreak]

No offense... but I really don't like it... D:

 

[jaimelectric]

No offense... but I really don't like it... D:

Maybe it would help me if you would tell me what I could fix. What don't you like about it? What things can I do to make it better?

If you're posting just because you don't like the creature, then there wasn't really a point to posting. :/

 

[~*!*~Tatsujin Gosuto~*!*~]

All I can point out (like what Shinji and Rana said) about the leg it's in an akward position. I think you can make the tail, at the back a bit fatter and are those spikes?. But I really love the tail, you did a great job on the end of it (including the loop)


:t354:TG