my incredibly weird poetry

coco

Dancing in the Moonlight
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    this was for an English assignment, but i'm really bad at poetry, but then i started laughing at my own poetry, so...

    they're alphabet poems (you look at a letter, see what it reminds you of, and write about it) well, here goes!
    ----------------------------------------------------
    C (The moon)
    Sitting in the sky
    Shining so brightly on this warm summer night
    Waiting, hoping
    For a star to pass by

    J (A fishing hook)
    Floating in the water
    Hanging with a worm
    Waiting for a stupid fish
    To eat it and die*
    ------------------------------------------------------
    *sorry to all fish/animal lovers

    yea, it's weird :P , tell me what ya think!
     
    "waiting for a star to pass by" ok...
    Other than that I would like to see some more. :bandit:
     
    They are okay... The Idea is really neat, but the poems are awefully short. They kinda remind me of Hiiku's....
     
    I wasn't trying to be mean, I was just expessing my opinion. It is something that's supposed to happen when you post your own works. "Take the ups with the downs and move on"
     
    The first one is fairly good. If it was thought out it could fit quite well into a Petriarchian Sonnet. The second, though, seems rather rushed and sloppy. Not at all pleasent to read.
     
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