[Pokémon] my true friend:hydreigon

[electrabulb]

chpt 1 my adventure begins : i stared at the tiny deino at my feet. i knew it would be very long before he was a huge monster.he was my first ever pokemon.i just had to wait a week before my 10th birthday
when my birthday came i ran out the door without hesitation.alana followed with lunaro her brother.lunaro looked me in the eye and i giggled.he and his goofy eyes!we held hands and took our first breathe.we looked at each other reading each others mind."i left my pokeballs at home see you in a sec!"we all said.
i coudnt stop laughing until i got home.deino stood by my side.he hates his pokeball."mom can you give me my pokeballs?"i asked jumping.she threw them in a backpack and gave it to me."this for your stuff.take care of it!"she said. i saw the sadness in her eyes.i hugged her.and with that hugg my adventure started.i saw my friends.they were tapping their feet."its not my fault!my mom was crying when i left!"i said laughing again."yeah right......"both said.
me?i smiled at deino and looked into his..umm...face i guess.he called out to me as a laugh. i giggled.i stepped into the grass and smiled.deino and i were starting an adventure!

 

[Astinus]

Welcome to the forums!

Unfortunately, your chapter is missing all the capital letters that it needs. You always capitalize the first letter of every sentence, people's names, and the pronoun "I". Also, you need to put spaces at the end of sentences.

It is a cute beginning. Maybe just a little more of the story added to it, like the main character's name and how they met Deino and their friends.

Hope this helps!

 

[Drakio]

Cutie story I like it, just try to add more variety in the words you chose, nearly every sentence starts with an "I". I can't wait for the next chapter.