Night

Yesterday

Manabi Style ^w^
    • 27
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • Seen Jan 14, 2008
    At Night
    when crickets chirp,

    the moon hangs
    (against the midnight blue
    with little holes
    that angels peep through)
    tucked with gray clouds
    cradled by darkness,

    lulled to sleep,
    with gentle whispers of the wind,
    singing a lullaby through leaves
    of trees

    whose gentle sighs
    wash away the dreams
    of the slumbering moon

    at Night
    when crickets chirp.
     
    Hey, nice job. Good use of a classic style without going cliché. Has some nice imagery and metaphors fundamental to any poetry.
     
    yea the metaphors are good, your poem really sticks in my head and reminds me of what i do every night
     
    Eh... not a fan of your unorthodox structures, like I mentioned beforem, but the poem is pretty good. Nice use of personification and some little dash of metaphors here and there. Overall sounds nice, and I like poems like these... mostly... and like mentioned above, it's not too cliche. It's not some boring poem going "ah the moon is shining silver blah blah" like what most people would do...
     
    It's pretty good. The imagery and use of other literary devices really gives it some personality. The absence of a set rhythm is also an added plus.

    Something offtopic: How can you really critic someone's poetry? Couldn't almost anything fall under "artistic liberty"?
     
    thankees for the commentsssss!!!!!!!! ^w^ its better than SOMEONE who dint comment at all... u.u
     
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