Pedigree Pokemon

[Sandran]

This is my first sprite comic~ Hope you like it.

Pedigree Pokemon- Chapter 1- The start.
Introduction
Page 1: Really?!
Page 2: Finally..
Page 3: The Contest
Page 4: Fighting doesn't solve everything...
Page 5:

Yes, at first sight, this looks like one of those boring 'omg i r b pkmn masta w/ mi frnds.', but the plot is DIFFERENT.

An 18 year old teen named Timothy, with the dream to become a coordinator. Not the best, just a good one. He lives in Pacifidlog Town. A local breeder has different pokemon, and gives them to people 18 years or older, for coordinators. Then they must win atleast one ribbon to keep that pokemon for life, only allowed to catch up to 8 pokemon, and all must be used for contests. < Thats pretty much a summary of what is going on.

Meh. Sorry if the text bubbles look HORRIBLE. I hate them, but alot of people use them.. so yeah. ><;

Each chapter has Ten pages, not including the introduction.

 

[Solemnity]

Your right it does look like a

one of those boring 'omg i r b pkmn masta w/ mi frnds

 

[Sandran]

Your right it does look like a

Oh, but of course. XD Only by the master! </shot> :3

 

[Chizzy]

Hmph! You Know, use Rounded Text Boxes. There is a function on Paint where you just can make a round Square/Circle and have it auto Filled. Use that. and Im not too sure about the charchters. I don't really like the recolours.

 

[Sandran]

Well, I only have paint to recolor, but I don't use the default ones, And I'll do the circle thing. I did the recolor, just because I didn't want to be un-original and use Brendan and Prof Birch. xD;

 

[Sandran]

Page two added! Text bubbles changed.

 

[HikozaruLover]

It's a good begining.I'll keep my eye on this for new eppys

 

[Sandran]

Thanks! I'm currently working on page 3-4. x3

 

[HikozaruLover]

Cool,gotta go work on my own comic...

 

[Sandran]

Pages 3 and 4 added! Heh. xD

 

[SuperGuy]

wow. i think its pretty good, but i also think u can do better, im looking foward to the next comics.

 

[Jake]

wut people need to stop doing in comic is have their starters as shiny pokemon, in trying to say a proffesor wouldnt just give away a ulltra rare pokemon, and wuts with on the #1 issue? birch talks b4 timothy? wuts with that? and the whole story, u MUST win 1 ribbon to keep ur pokemon, and y only 8? and they all HAVE to be used for contests, and wuts bad with regular paint? thats all i have, and i do good. and then i looked at the latest issue, yea timothys hair is green right? well change it in the back sprite 2, any why is may and fr/lg girl the judges? and another thing, is the ground talking? cause the arrow points 2 it!
thats all i have 2 say

2/10

 

[Sandran]

wut people need to stop doing in comic is have their starters as shiny pokemon, in trying to say a proffesor wouldnt just give away a ulltra rare pokemon, and wuts with on the #1 issue? birch talks b4 timothy? wuts with that? and the whole story, u MUST win 1 ribbon to keep ur pokemon, and y only 8? and they all HAVE to be used for contests, and wuts bad with regular paint? thats all i have, and i do good. and then i looked at the latest issue, yea timothys hair is green right? well change it in the back sprite 2, any why is may and fr/lg girl the judges? and another thing, is the ground talking? cause the arrow points 2 it!
thats all i have 2 say

2/10

Wow, I'm sorry, but I could barely understand anything you just said in that. I don't speak chatspeak. Birch doesn't speak before Timothy, Thats why I HATE text bubbles, just people usually use then. And, Timothy doesn't know its Shiny, He just likes Sandshrew. And that guy ISN'T A proffesor, he's a local breeder. And the one ribbon thing, its a traditional thing, and only eight because its also traditional. Nothing is wrong with regular paint, I just only have that to draw pictures, and recolor. And I just now noticed I forgot to change Timothy's cap to green. Thats not his hair, its a cap, Brendan, the actual cartoon character, has black hair. Most people mistake the white for hair. FR/LG girl is the judge, because its something DIFFERENT. Its ORIGINAL, and the ground isn't talking, I don't know where the hell that came from. But I'm sorry, you really aren't helping me improve. I'm sorry if I sound rude.

 

[Ark Kuvis]

W
T
F

Right, I have absolutly no idea what the heck is going on. The first comic is probably the worst, as it has the random "LOADING" Screen in the third pannel. This comic is going faster than Sonic the Hedgehog on a sugar rush. He goes to this island, and Birch is all "take your time". In the next comic, birtch and the green guy are on another freakin boat.

Speech Bubble Order. Have anything that is needed to be said at the top of the pannel, continuing downward. You may not like text Bubbles, but that's a comic.

Put some thought in each comic. Try to make a joke or a plot point or character development in almost every comic. Right now, it's boring and going too fast that no one's getting what is happining. As well, it may help for this type of comic to have more than 4 pannels.

 

[Chikara]

it looked like one of those

one of those boring 'omg i r b pkmn masta w/ mi frnds.'

comics at first, but i guess itll get better as you go.

Buy the guy kinda goes through it all fast. a little comedy or more characters would be great!

 

[Sandran]

W
T
F

Right, I have absolutly no idea what the heck is going on. The first comic is probably the worst, as it has the random "LOADING" Screen in the third pannel. This comic is going faster than Sonic the Hedgehog on a sugar rush. He goes to this island, and Birch is all "take your time". In the next comic, birtch and the green guy are on another freakin boat.

Speech Bubble Order. Have anything that is needed to be said at the top of the pannel, continuing downward. You may not like text Bubbles, but that's a comic.

Put some thought in each comic. Try to make a joke or a plot point or character development in almost every comic. Right now, it's boring and going too fast that no one's getting what is happining. As well, it may help for this type of comic to have more than 4 pannels.

Okay, Thanks for the helpful critique, I'll be sure to try and improve with it.

 

[Jake]

brenan wuz never on the show, he was on a movie

 

[Persona]

It's alright, but not the best I've seen around here. A suggestion (like other people have said) is trying to make the episodes longer, not always sticking to only 4 panels. The reason why that it's better doing that, is it keeps the readers not to look at something short and get bored of it too soon. Thus, people might not even bother looking at them. Keep improving though, your comic will get better.

Also, I still don't like the speech bubbles, in my opinion.

 

[Nao~]

It isn't really funny, and they're short.

 

[[NovaPirate]]

Jake, your post was pretty irrelevant and off-topic, and Nao. see how we're elaborating on what she messed up on?? go read all of goatmans stickies, then come back.

You need to have more then four panels (six=good number), and you need to elaborate on the breeder part. I like the contests thing replacing the badges, but instead of having the normal Firered and R/S/E girls, why not do a recolor, making it more interesting!