Plastic and Metal

TheWindMage

Wild Contradiction appeared!
  • 14
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    • Seen Aug 6, 2024
    Well, a while back, I lost my Graphing Calculator that I had been writing programs on for my Algebra III class. I was quite depressed and as a joke I wrote this poem. Even though it has an extremely depressing feel to it, it's supposed to be comical in the aspect that it's about a calculator. (I found it later. I had left it in my Literature class.)
    Criticism is most genuinely appreciated, since this is my first true attempt at poetry.

    What is a Calculator?
    But a series of buttons to press,
    That give a number to be put on paper,
    Its absence causing nothing but stress,

    But there is more inside,
    Than cold plastic and metal,
    But an object of pride,
    With joy none can settle,

    An object of power and intellect,
    Brimming with effort and thought,
    Effort they cannot follow, those insects,
    Lost, searching for naught,

    Now you've left me a sadness so strong,
    Not another can follow,
    Louder than a souding gong,
    A deep sadness... empty, and hollow.
     
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    I don't really find this as depressing, but more or less leaves you thinking.
    That last stanza is okay, but it seems to leave the concept a little bit. But I think it's just me.

    Overall, you did a pretty good job. The rhyming is catchy.
     
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    Well, actually, the first three stanzas are about how much thought and time was put into the calculator and the last one is about how someone who had lost it would actually feel, because it'd be like losing a project you had been working on for nearly half a year.
    But either way, I know I'm not actually good at getting the right emotions into poetry, I was never very skilled at it.
     
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