Poetry by Yours truly...

Dizzy

My Father is a Baron!
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    Hello all and welcome to my poetry Thread, You can see most of my poems in this thread please i want to here all your feedback.

    Thank you


    Dizzy

    Dont Let them Put you down



    Dont let them put you down
    Dont ever have on a frown
    So why dont you turn it upside-down
    And make the sun your crown

    You might think I'm stupid
    You might think I'm mean
    But your only making yourself look bad
    Because your never going to make me sad


    Do it Right my love​
    Anyone can tell you your wrong
    But you have to prove them wrong
    Dont let them get to you
    The beauty inside of you, my love

    So Do it Right my love
    Dont let them make you sad
    everyone wants to get to you
    they want to make you mad
    all your emotions,torn
    like the pictures on your wall
    just smile, smile,and you'll be right, my love​


    The Darkness

    The Darkness Within will show your heart
    nothing can change your images
    except what you feel, what you feel

    If you think you are destroyed, your hurt
    Only you, you, can get over it
    No one else is here to make your decisions

    The Darkness taught us something
    we all sat in the dark, that we can all do everything by ourselves
    we need nothing, nothing, but ourselves

    The Darkness

    Dont Stop you'll get there​

    Remember when you were a small child
    Thinking of what you wanted to be
    Taken away by simple things
    called away by the sea

    Now comes time to be what you wanted
    everything in place,
    nothing can make me feel greater
    than too see your happy face

    Dont Stop, Dont Quit, You'll get there someday
    Even when your world comes down, you'll be there someday​



    Thank you, There will be more ^_^.
     
    Last edited:
    Nice peom. hmm let me think of one..

    Bold

    Always be bold,
    Always be true,
    You never know,
    How be to be

    If you don't know just ask me,
    because i know you and you know me
    We will be bold together and forever!
     
    Thank you Punkie, at least some people like my work.
     
    I want Dont Let them Put you down to be in the contest I know i wont win so you can put it in anyways :)
     
    Heres my Short Story which you could call a poem..

    What ever Happened to Him?

    At first everyone liked him, he really thought he was liked.
    Then one day he started to fade away... becoming less popular and such. Everyone hated him. He left and Never came back. He was hated.
     
    Well, Dizzy, I have both criticism and compliments. You aren't very strong when it comes to rhyming, try free verse, most find it a lot easier. Also, it looks more like you're trying to write song lyrics rather than poetry. Enough criticizing, eheh. Now compliments. I especially like the poem 'The Darkness.' ^^;;; It's very melodic.

    Perhaps now that I have torn your poetry to shreds you would give the same criticism to mine? -please note the light-hearted tone-

    Facade

    The thick piece of invisible concrete surrounds her
    Shrouding her life from all onlookers
    She is but a mortal who cannot be hurt
    She is overcome with fear
    Hurt, lust, need, and life all hidden
    Unsurfaced to the beings who come in contact with her
    This woman is me.​
     
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    Aww thank you Blaine :)Maybe I should write Songs instead lol.... Thats a very nice Poem you have there
     
    Sorry for the Double Post but here is My Song :)

    Destroyed - The Destructives (my band.. written by me though)

    I feel so lost just standing here
    Lost in Innocence through all these years
    Just never Looked at how bad you hurt me
    Now I realize it all
    You left me in the Cold
    I feel so Destroyed
    If I could Change it All
    Then I would Do it to you

    You Called me on that day
    I said I didnt want to talk to you
    You led me astray
    You used me for all your work
    You thought you got away with it all
    Well your wrong
    I feel so Destroyed
    If I could Change it All
    Then I would Do it to you

    i have to finish it of course....
     
    Its ok Dizzy, I'll let it slide this time XP.

    To tell you the truth, the song that you have thought of is quite brillent, and I could actully see a band preforming it if they had a chance, I really want to see you finish this and keep on doing your song writing and Poetry becuase your really good at this.
     
    :) Thank you Liquid Thunder

    Half the Songs my band sings are about getting dumped or falling in Love.

    My band's Name is The Destructives if you wanted to know
     
    Dizzy.. What happened to thugmanics? LOL! Well. I can help you with your lyrics for your band...
     
    punkie90 said:
    Dizzy.. What happened to thugmanics? LOL! Well. I can help you with your lyrics for your band...
    Click to expand...


    It's Thuganomics and its just a saying we have... we're not gangsta's No body is anyone that dresses like one is just a poser with the baggy pants and the attitude...
     
    I wanna write another song. Thank you frostweaver
     
    Dizzy those are awsome! I wouldn't wan't to criticize you unless I had written poetry as well since it is very hard...oh hey what do you know, I have written a poem, 3 actually. Yours all have a bit of a dark side to them, thats a good thing though, it shows that you specilize in a certain theme. My theme is mostly deep sorta spiritual nature stuff, it all has a second meaning. I'd post my best poem 4 u to see but they are all VERY long (over 30 lines in my best). Keep it up, poetry is a great thing to get into.
     
    Thank you so much Teara, Everyone says that I'm a better song writer though, so I write songs..WHO IS SPECIAL O?? lol :) Thank you
     
    That's a great song Dizzy...it knda reminds of an evenescance song...


    ~HORN!
     
    Stars were shining bright that night
    I stepped in the light it felt so right
    I stepped in the light it felt so right!!

    Can't look at you, and when i do
    I don't know what to say
    Why do you do this do me i ask
    I ask, I ask, I pray

    Tell me why you demand my love
    and you give none back, Why
    Why don't you give any back?



    The Almighty one made the sun
    and the moon,
    he made you,
    he made me.
     
    Sorry for Double posting again but if no one wants to read my poetry then just close down the thread... I want to make a song writing thread anyways.. :P
     
    Poetry Anyone? (sorry for the triple post... I need to get this done lol)

    The Day's of my Life
    Are like a Red Red Rose
    filled with Danger and Strife
    Just like Poetry to Prose ;)

    You like that one lol.....
     
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