Pokémon Adventures ; Kanto

[Kozoi]

Welcome to my fanfiction!__________________________________________________________________________

Hey, thanks for showing an interest in my fanfiction. I hope to see some constructive critism from you guys and I hope you can enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. I hope you have a good time, please feel free to give me as much constructive critsm as need be and note that I will be able to take a verbal slap in the face or two if it isn't upto your standards/expectations.

I'd also like to point out that I am not a professional writer of these sorts of things. I am okay at English, but I am currently studying to improve in my English skills in college. I didn't get a chance to do my GCSEs so I am stuck in an English Lv. 1 Cert for now.

Anyway, on to the notice.

Notice__________________________________________________________________________________________

I've decided to do a Pokémon Fanfiction again. I'd like to point out this time I am using OpenOffice to make sure I have a minimal amount of typing or gramatical errors. I won't be using it on none fanfiction text, though so don't expect everything to be perfect. I won't be reading through the fanfictions in great detail as I think relying on the quality of the ideas that come out of my head is quality enough.

My last fanfiction was Pokémon Chronicles which died around Pewter City due to people ranting over the same problems and not achually reading it before rating it as one star. I request you read my Pokémon fanfiction and use this system to rate it:

One Star ~

The fanfiction lacks any plot and there are major gramatical errors, problematic typos and other problems which makes it pathetic.

Two Stars ~

The fanfiction lacks a plot but there arent many typos, spelling errors or problems with the fanfiction in general.

Three Stars ~

The fanfiction has a small plot with few gramatical errors and typos. The plot could use some work but the fanfiction is quite enjoyable to read and could be great if the owner took his or her time.

Four Stars ~

The fanfiction has a pretty good plot and storyline. It only has a few gramatical errors and typos and is acceptable to read. This fanfiction has great potential and could be a top-notch fanfiction with just a few corrections and a little more story content.

Five Stars ~

This is a top-quality fanfiction with a great plot, with only one or two typos and only one or two minor gramatical errors.

Okay, thanks for reading that system. I wouldn't expect anything over three or four stars, personally so please be honest when you rate my work. If it is terrible I will take my time to revise and edit it. I am not perfect at fanfictions but I hope to improve, eventually.

The final thing for me to access is constructive critism, if you post that you didn't like it I am expecting to see a reason why. If I do not get a reason, I will not know where to improve this and I will not be happy with your post.

Main Character Profile_____________________________________________________________________________

Name: Kai
Hometown: Viridian City
Age: 13
Badges: 0
Items: Pokedex, Pokeballs x5.

Pokemon:

Bulbasaur - This jolly Pokemon was given to Kai as his starting partner from Kyran who came to his house from request of Professor Oak. She is rather naive but she is also extremely friendly and kind to other Pokemon.
Moves: Tackle, Growl, Leech-seed.

Chapter One_____________________________________________________________________________________

The wonderful and diverse world of Pokemon is split into four regions. Each of these regions hold mysterious creatures known as Pokemon, our story begins in the region of Kanto in a small rural area known as Pallet Town. This town is home to Professor Samuel Oak who is one of the greatest scientists of Pokemon, he dedicated his life to the study of these marvelous creatures and he is known all through the region of Kanto.


Kai was tossing and turning in his bed, he had stayed up until three AM the previous night since he couldn't sleep from the excitement of obtaining his first Pokemon which his father had went to get from Pallet Town. He woke up slowly as he pondered what Pokemon he would receive, hoping that it would be a Charmander like he had asked his father to try get him. He threw the bed-sheet covers off the bed as he ran his fingers through his thick, blonde hair he heard a noise coming from downstairs.


Kai quickly hopped up with excitement, he almost stumbled as he jumped out of bed and quickly ran to his wardrobe and began to take off his pajamas. He quickly grabbed his clothing which consisted of his favorite blue t-shirt with the picture of a Kyogre on the front, a pair of simple blue jeans and a navy-coloured jacket. He quickly slammed his door open, to his surprise there were two people standing in the doorway.


It was his father and a thin, small man in a white lab coat with silky black hair and a pair of thick framed glasses hanging off his nose. Kai quickly walked downstairs and approached his father who didn't notice him walking behind him. His father was chatting with the black-haired man while brushing his thin mustache.


"Well, Kyran. That sure is interesting" said Kai's father as he chuckled.


"Indeed, I am presuming the boy behind you is Kai..?" said Kyran as he leered down to Kai.


"Oh, Kai. I didn't see you" said Kai's father as he turned around and paced back a few steps.


"Yeah... Didn't you say you were visiting Pallet Town?" said Kai as he rubbed his eyes and looked at Kyran.


"Yeah, funny coincidence really. I contacted Professor Oak before hand and he found our story so interesting that he sent Kyran here to deliver you a Pokemon." said Kai's father as he chuckled and looked down at Kai.


"Yes, I've got these Pokemon from Professor Oak." said Kyran as he pulled out three Pokeballs.


"Well, thats awesome!" shouted Kai as he ran up to Kyran and looked at the Pokeballs which Kyran had clutched in his sweaty palms.


"Well, we have these three Pokemon. Professor Oak decided the Pokemon Bulbasaur, Squirtle and Charmander were perfect for novice trainers." said Kyran as he grinned lightly and placed the Pokeballs on a small cabinet which was next to the door.


"Well, could I see them? I'd like to know what their personalities are like before I make a choice." said Kai confidently as he looked down at the Pokeballs.


"Indeed" said Kyran as he grabbed the Pokeball which contained Charmander and pushed the button in the middle. The Pokeball expanded in his hand and then a red beam shot out instantly and released a small Charmander.
"This one is quite troublesome, we've had it for a while since no trainers were willing to take it" said Kyran as he looked down at the little Pokemon.


"Char, Charmander!" said the small Pokemon as he grinned and then suddenly walked towards the staircase. Charmander jumped in the air and swiped the banister of the staircase. There was a small silence and then a small piece of the banister fell to the bottom of the staircase.


"Charmander, return. No, no, certainly not" said Kyran as he returned Charmander into its Pokeball in a beam of red light.


"Darn, I was hoping to get a Charmander. That one is just too troublesome, though. Could I see the next one please?" said Kai as he grinned politely to Kyran.


"Yes, next up is Squirtle" said Kyran as he picked up another Pokeball off the cabinet. The Pokeball expanded in his hand as he pushed the button. A sharp beam of red light shot out and Squirtle lay on the floor, motionless.


"Uhh, this ones a little strange." said Kyran as he grinned lightly.


"I see, well Squirtle... I think you're great!" said Kai as he grinned and knelt to the floor to reach eye level with the little turtle-like Pokemon.


"Squir--" said the Squirtle as he quickly straitened his limbs and then shot his body into the inside of his shell.


"Squirtle doesn't want to leave the lab, he enjoys watering the plants and he is usually quite timid" said Kyran as he sighed.


"Well, Okay" said Kai.


Kyran returned Squirtle into its Pokeball swiftly and then placed it back on the cabinet. He picked up the last Pokeball which had a grass emblem on the side. He quickly pushed the button and the Pokeball expanded yet again, a beam of scarlet red light shot out and a small Pokemon with a bulb on its back shot out.


"This is Bulbasaur, she is usually quite jolly and friendly to most of the other Pokemon. Although, she is quite naive" said Kyran as he grinned lightly to the Bulbasaur.


"Bulba-- Bulbasaur" said Bulbasaur as she grinned lightly then turned her head to Kai who was still on his knees.


"Hey Bulbasaur. Kyran, I have decided this Pokemon is perfect for me! She is so cute" said Kai as he grinned at the Bulbasaur which smiled back.


"Well, good choice. Bulbasaur is an excellent choice for beginners. I'm sure she will be very useful" said Kyran as he pulled out Bulbasaurs Pokeball.


"This is yours, and take these too. Your Pokedex and Pokeballs, you'll need them" said Kyran as he handed Bulbasaurs Pokeball with five additional empty balls and a small red box which opened up like a book.


"Well, okay. Bulbasaur, return" said Kai as he grinned and returned Bulbasaur into her Pokeball swiftly. I best put these in my backpack said Kai as he opened up the cabinet and pulled out his backpack from inside. He placed his Pokedex in his pocket and then placed his Pokeballs in his backpack. He was still gripping Bulbasaurs Pokeball, unsure where to put it.


"Ah, Kai. Don't worry because I have this" said Kai's father as he pulled out a green belt which had small slots around it which seemed to fit Pokeballs to the belt.


"Uh, what is it?" said Kai as he looked skeptically at the belt that his father was holding.


"Its a belt you can place your Pokeballs on, all the professional trainers use them!" said Kai's father as he passed it to Kai.


"Well, okay" said Kai as he strapped it around his waist and placed Bulbasaurs Pokeball in the first slot and then tied it down to his waist.


"Okay, Kai. I'd get ready before you go because once you leave here there is no turning back. The road to becoming a Pokemon master is a long one..." said Kyran as he grinned and opened the door.


"Oh, leaving so soon?" said Kai's father.


"Yeah, I have to get back to help Professor Oak study up on these Slowpoke back at the lab" said Kyran as he walked out of the door and shut it behind him, grinning and waving with his left hand.


Kai had just obtained his very first Pokemon, a jolly, friendly and naive Bulbasaur from Kyran. He ran upstairs eagerly to pack his backpack and prepare for his Pokemon journey through the Kanto region. His adventure had just begun.

My Comments on this Chapter_______________________________________________________________________

Expectations of this chapter: Three Stars out of five.

Reason: I am not very good at starting out fanfictions, I work better once I have finished the starting chapter of a fanfiction.

Comments on this chapter: Well, I cannot comment much on this chapter. I think it is average and nothing special but it will certainly be something once when I introduce the main plot which hasn't been introduced as of yet. Continue to read guys, lets hope the new plot is exciting as I am making it out to be. :P

 

[starryday]

Decent start to a fanfic. Can't say I'm great at starting stories myself, so 3/5 stars. There were a few gramatical errors, and so far the plot seems rather bland, but I think things will become more interesting as the story progresses. Pretty good start, I'd just try to make things a little more interesting, so that it grabs the reader more. But as I said, I'm bad at starting fics too, so I don't really know how to help you with it. lol I'll be following this, though.

 

[Spinor]

ABC/ABC: Error or Major Suggestion
ABC: Improval Suggestion
ABC: Vocabulary Misuse

The wonderful and diverse world of Pokemon is split into four regions. Each of these regions hold mysterious creatures known as Pokemon, our story begins (present tense) in the region of Kanto in a small rural area known as Pallet Town. This town is home to Professor Samuel Oak, who is one of the greatest scientists of Pokemon,. Hhe dedicateds (Present-Past tense mixture) his life to the study of these marvelous creatures and he is known all through the region of Kanto.

I am not sure how you would prefer the tense on Professor Oak. Is he STILL or WAS a Scientist in this story?


Kai was tossing and turning in his bed,. Hhe had stayed up until three AM the previous night since because (Consider that "since" actually defines since a specific event. It doesn't sound right on this.) he couldn't sleep from the excitement of obtaining his first Pokemon, which his father had went to get from Pallet Town. He woke up slowly, as he pondered what Pokemon he would receive, hoping that it would be a Charmander like he had asked his father to try get him. He threw the bed-sheet covers off the bed as he ran his fingers through his thick, blonde hair(Can you describe length?). Suddenly, he heard a noise coming from downstairs.


Kai quickly hopped up with excitement,. Hhe almost stumbled as he jumped out of bed and quickly ran to his wardrobe and began to take off his pajamas. He quickly grabbed his clothing, which consisted of his favorite blue t-shirt with the picture of a Kyogre on the front, a pair of simple blue jeans and a navy-coloured jacket. He quickly slammed his door open (What? How do you slam something opened? "I slammed open my Frappuccino. I slammed my Big Mac box open." No sense @~@. Revise this, as there are many possibilities.), to his surprise there were two people standing in the doorway.


It was his father and a thin, small man in a white lab coat with silky black hair and a pair of thick framed glasses hanging off his nose. Kai quickly walked downstairs and approached his father who didn't notice him walking behind him.(This literally means "He didn't notice himself walking behind himself. Use Proper Noun "Kai" on the first "him") His father was chatting with the black-haired man while brushing his thin mustache.


"Well, Kyran. That sure is interesting" said chuckled Kai's father as he chuckled.


"Indeed, I am presuming the boy behind you is Kai..?" said asked Kyran as he leered down to Kai.


"Oh, Kai. I didn't see you." said Kai's father. as Hhe turned around and paced back a few steps.


"Yeah... Didn't you say you were visiting Pallet Town?" said Kai as he rubbed his eyes and looked at Kyran.

I've known seen the problem that you are using "as he" too much. I'm not correcting those now as I already told you.


"Yeah, funny coincidence really. I contacted Professor Oak before hand and he found our story so interesting that he sent Kyran here to deliver you a Pokemon." said Kai's father as he chuckled and looked down at Kai.


"Yes, I've got these Pokemon from Professor Oak." said Kyran as he pulled out three Pokeballs.

Ok, I am neither going to correct the excessive use of "said". I recommend reviewing those issues.

"Well, thats awesome!" shouted Kai as he ran up to Kyran and looked 0at the Pokeballs which Kyran had clutched in his sweaty palms.


"Well, we have these three Pokemon. Professor Oak decided the Pokemon Bulbasaur, Squirtle and Charmander were perfect for novice trainers." said Kyran as he grinned lightly and placed the Pokeballs on a small cabinet which was next to the door.


"Well, could I see them? I'd like to know what their personalities are like before I make a choice." said Kai confidently as he looked down at the Pokeballs.


"Indeed" said Kyran as he grabbed the a Pokeball which that contained a Charmander and pushed the button in the middle. (Remember "the" is used for an unique object and "a" is used for one of various objects. There are many Charmanders, so "a" is very applicable here) The Pokeball expanded in his hand and then a red beam shot out instantly and released a small Charmander.
"This one is quite troublesome, we've had it for a while now since because no trainers were willing to take it" said Kyran as he looked down at the little Pokemon.

Try fixing your usage of "since"

Correct:
"I've been bored since the event"

Incorrect:
"I have not been active since I have been lazy"

"Because" fits better in the Incorrect sentence. Don't you think?

"Char, Charmander!" said the small Pokemon as he grinned and , then suddenly walked towards the staircase. Charmander jumped in the air and swiped the banister of the staircase. There was a small silence and then a small piece of the banister fell to the bottom of the staircase.


"Charmander, return. No, no, certainly not!" said Kyran as he returned Charmander into its Pokeball in a beam of red light.


"Darn, I was hoping to get a Charmander. That one is just too troublesome, though. Could I see the next one please?" said asked Kai as he grinned politely to Kyran.


"Yes, next up is Squirtle" said Kyran as he picked up another Pokeball off the cabinet. The Pokeball expanded in his hand as he pushed the button. A sharp beam of red light shot out and Squirtle lay on the floor, motionless.


"Uhh, this ones a little strange." said Kyran as he grinned lightly.


"I see, well Squirtle... I think you're great!" said Kai as he grinned and knelt to the floor to reach eye level with the little turtle-like Pokemon.


"Squir--" said the Squirtle as he quickly straitened his limbs and then shot his body into the inside of his shell.


"Squirtle doesn't want to leave the lab, he enjoys watering the plants and he is usually quite timid" said Kyran as he sighed.


"Well, Okay" said Kai.


Kyran returned Squirtle into its Pokeball swiftly and then placed it back on the cabinet. He picked up the last Pokeball which had a grass emblem on the side. He quickly pushed the button and the Pokeball expanded yet again, a beam of scarlet red light shot out and a small Pokemon with a bulb on its back shot out.

(The use of "Rapid Motion" words is also excessive. Revise that)

"This is Bulbasaur, she is usually quite jolly and friendly to most of the other Pokemon. Although, she is quite naive" said Kyran as he grinned lightly to the Bulbasaur.


"Bulba-- Bulbasaur" said Bulbasaur as she grinned lightly then turned her head to Kai who was still on his knees.


"Hey Bulbasaur. Kyran, I have decided this Pokemon is perfect for me! She is so cute" said Kai as he grinned at the Bulbasaur which smiled back.


"Well, good choice. Bulbasaur is an excellent choice for beginners. I'm sure she will be very useful" said Kyran as he pulled out Bulbasaurs Pokeball.


"This is yours, and take these too. Your Pokedex and Pokeballs, you'll need them" said Kyran as he handed Bulbasaurs Pokeball with five additional empty balls and a small red box which opened up like a book.


"Well, okay. Bulbasaur, return" said Kai as he grinned and returned Bulbasaur into her Pokeball swiftly. I best put these in my backpack said ( I did not understand if Kai is saying or thinking. Revise this) Kai as he opened up the cabinet and pulled out his backpack from inside. He placed his Pokedex in his pocket and then placed his Pokeballs in his backpack. He was still gripping Bulbasaur's Pokeball, unsure where to put it.


"Ah, Kai. Don't worry because I have this" said Kai's father as he pulled out a green belt which had small slots around it which seemed to fit Pokeballs to the belt.


"Uh, what is it?" said asked Kai as he looked skeptically at the belt that his father was holding.


"Its a belt you can place your Pokeballs on, all the professional trainers use them!" said Kai's father as he passed it to Kai.


"Well, okay" said Kai as he strapped it around his waist and placed Bulbasaurs Pokeball in the first slot and then tied it down to his waist.


"Okay, Kai. I'd get ready before you go because once you leave here there is no turning back. The road to becoming a Pokemon master is a long one..." said Kyran as he grinned and opened the door.


"Oh, leaving so soon?" said Kai's father.


"Yeah, I have to get back to help Professor Oak study up on these Slowpoke back at the lab" said Kyran as he walked out of the door and shut it behind him, grinning and waving with his left hand.


Kai had just obtained his very first Pokemon, a jolly, friendly and naive Bulbasaur from Kyran. He ran upstairs eagerly to pack his backpack and prepare for his Pokemon journey through the Kanto region. His adventure had just begun.

All corrections and suggestions are in color.

In your system, I believe this would be a 3/5 because it has a potential plot.

However, I want to be honest. Throughly reviwing forces me to rate this a 5/10 of the default scale.

As you may have seen. You lack sense of vocabulary. You are using excessive "said"s and misusing "since". These are basic mistakes no writer should commit. If you want full potential, I strongly recommend you review all that.

 

[Kozoi]

Reply to my readers_______________________________________________________________________________

All corrections and suggestions are in color.

In your system, I believe this would be a 3/5 because it has a potential plot.

However, I want to be honest. Throughly reviwing forces me to rate this a 5/10 of the default scale.

As you may have seen. You lack sense of vocabulary. You are using excessive "said"s and misusing "since". These are basic mistakes no writer should commit. If you want full potential, I strongly recommend you review all that.

You seem to know your stuff. :D I hope you stay and continue to show me what you know. Also, thanks starryday. That's all that my expectations led to since I know theres always room for improvement.

Also, could you explain what you mean by 'revise'. Yeah, I have just noted the word 'said' is greatly over used so I will try replace it with some other words to improve the fanfiction. Also, isnt to 'slam' something okay for when you are opening a door in a hurry? If not I have been doing something awfully wrong in roleplay for a while.

 

[starryday]

How about he 'threw' the door open?

 

[Kozoi]

Comment________________________________________________________

Hey everyone! I written chapter two last night but I was limited on time so I may of rushed it a little, I just read through it and it seems acceptable. I couldn't notice any spelling errors but there may be a grammar mistake or two which I am sure will be pointed out when someone reads it.

I hope you enjoy reading it, I've decided not to reveal all of the true plot until later on.

Note: I want you guys to vote if you want bigger chapters or if you want them to stay the same since I don't want to rush you into reading alot...

Chapter Two______________________________________________________


Kai was in the living room slipping his shoes on when he heard a thump in the distance, someone was knocking on the door so Kai slipped on his left shoe then stumbled towards the door. He reached the door and unlocked it and then opened it casually, not expecting who was stood on the other side.


It was Officer Jenny, her sharp scarlet eyes and ocean-blue tinted hair instantly caught Kai's attention. She was a friend of Kai's father, she was in full uniform and her face looked serious. She looked down at Kai and pulled out a small piece of paper from inside of her pocket which she quickly unfolded to reveal it was a search warrant.


"I have a warrant to search all of the houses in Viridian City, sorry kid but I will have to search your house" said Officer Jenny in a serious but sympathetic voice as she put the warrant back in her jacket.


"Uh, why?" muttered Kai.


"We believe that Team Rocket is in the area, we need to find them as soon as possible" shouted Officer Jenny as she walked past Kai and made her way into the living room.


"Father do we have any Team Rocket members inside our house?" chuckled Kai as he turned around to face the staircase.


Kai's father was upstairs, but he didn't quite hear what Kai shouted. He quickly strolled downstairs casually and quickly noticed Officer Jenny searching behind the living room couch.


"Well, it looks like downstairs is secure" said Officer Jenny as she pulled herself back on her feet after searching behind the couch.


"Yeah, why are you here, Officer?" asked Kai's father.


"I'm here because Team Rocket have been noticed leaving Viridian Forest and we suspect them to be in the city as we speak" replied Officer Jenny with a serious look on her face.


"Well, thats okay then. What about you, Kai?" said Kai's father as he grinned.


"Well, I am going to be leaving soon for Viridian Fore--" said Kai before he was interupted by Officer Jenny.


"No, out of the question" shouted Officer Jenny as she slammed her hands against the table.


"Why not..?" said Kai's father.


"We don't know if Team Rocket are still in Viridian Forest or not, members could be out there!" yelled Officer Jenny.


"Well, thats none of my concern" said Kai.


"What, why?" shouted Officer Jenny.


"Because, I have my Bulbasaur with me. She won't let anything happen to me." said Kai confidently as he pulled out Bulbasaurs Pokeball and tossed it into the air. The ball expanded and a beam of red light shot out to reveal Bulbasaur asleep on the floor.
"Yeah, looks like she will really help you" chuckled Officer Jenny.


Kai nudged Bulbasaur for a moment which woke her up, she yawned a little and then stood up beside him.


"Bulba--" yawned Bulbasaur as she opened her eyes and stretched her hind legs out.


"Well, if you think its wise but remember this. Team Rocket are ruthless, don't get cocky just because you have a Pokemon with you" said Officer Jenny.


"I'm sure!" said Kai as he picked up his backpack and tossed it over his shoulders.


Kai quickly ran through the door with Bulbasaur following. They quickly made their way outside of Viridian City and found themselves standing in a grassy meadow. Trees swayed in the wind, the sky was clear and beautiful. It seemed like everything was perfect to Kai and Bulbasaur.


"Wow, there's Viridian Forest!" yelled Kai as he pointed towards a large grove of trees in the distance.


"Bulba-- Bulbasaur!" said Bulbasaur in a cheerful voice.


"Well, lets go!" shouted Kai.


Kai quickly walked ahead towards the grove of trees in the distance before he realized Bulbasaur wasn't moving, he turned around and noticed that she was still stood in the exact same position as before.


"Bulba, Bulbasaur" muttered Bulbasaur as she put her hind legs forward and growled at a bush in front of her which was shaking.


Kai quickly walked up to her to see what was wrong, he stood behind her and noticed the bush shaking slightly for an instant and then two furry, brown paws popping out of the bush.


"Show yourself!" shouted Kai as he pulled a Pokeball out of his backpack and thought to himself that it must be a wild Pokemon.


The bush shook and out popped a small bear with a crescent-moon on its forehead. It had dazzling brown fur and small cute eyes.


"Teddi, Teddiursa" said the small Pokemon cutely as he placed his paw in his mouth and began to suckle on it.


"Wow, whats that?" said Kai as he pulled out his Pokedex and opened it up like a book.


"Teddiursa, the Little Bear Pokemon. It lets honey soak into its paws so it can lick them all the time. Every paw is said to taste unique." said the Pokedex as lights flashed on and off momentarily and then the Pokedex lid shut.


"Uh, that wasn't much help" said Kai as he looked towards the Teddiursa which was still suckling on its paw.


The Teddiursa grinned a little then quickly took his paw out of his mouth and ran towards Bulbasaur while Kai was distracted. He grabbed Bulbasaur by the face and jumped up on her back.


"Teddi, Teddiursa!" yelled Teddiursa as he began to sniff Bulbasaurs bulb.


Teddiursa started to lick Bulbasaurs bulb. Bulbasaur didn't look impressed with this as she rolled onto her side and the Teddiursa quickly dropped off.


"Uh, Bulbasaur. Get ready!" yelled Kai.


"Bulba!" said Bulbasaur as she turned and faced Teddiursa.


"Okay Bulbasaur, use Tackle!" commanded Kai.


Bulbasaur charged at Teddiursa but Teddiursa quickly jumped in the air and landed behind Bulbasaur. She looked around and noticed Teddiursa chuckling at her. Teddiursa suddenly ran at Bulbasaur and rammed his paw into her face then tore it down, scratching her face.


"Bulbasaur! Jump back and use Leech-Seed!" yelled Kai.


Bulbasaur quickly replied and jumped back then shook off the pain from the scratch-wound on her face. Her Bulb began to glow and a seed appeared atop of her bulb, this seed flew off her bulb at blinding speed and landed on Teddiursa's stomach before he could react. The seed sprouted vines which quickly wrapped around Teddiursa and began to suck his energy away.


"Great Bulbasaur, now use tackle!" yelled Kai as he grinned and pointed towards Teddiursa.


"Bulba, Bulbasaur!" said Bulbasaur as she ran towards Teddiursa.


Teddiursa was in pain, he began to scream and tears quickly filled his face. Bulbasaur stopped in an instant, feeling sorry for the small bear which was entrapped inside of the vines. Teddiursa saw his chance, the tears quickly disappeared and he grinned and then ripped the vines off his body with his claws.


"Teddi, Teddiursa!" said the Teddiursa.


"Darn, he was just faking it Bulbasaur. Tackle!" yelled Kai as his temper began to build.


Bulbasaur quickly ran at Teddiursa who was too busy trying to brush the rest of the dead vines off his body. Bulbasaur saw her chance, she rammed into the Teddiursa with a full body tackle and knocked him to the floor.


"Good work!" yelled Kai.


He quickly grabbed a Pokeball and tossed it at the Teddiursa. The Pokeball stood still momentarily and then began to shake...

Comment on this chapter_________________________________________

Expectations of this chapter: Three stars out of five.

Reason: Well, it was an average amount of text and it could of been better. ^_^

Comments on this chapter: A pretty average chapter, its typical of me. I felt like battling something different for my first chapter so I decided a Johto Pokémon would be perfect to battle. I decided Teddiursa because its cute, strong and awesome.

I'm leaving it at this for now, I will most likely post the next chapter in a day so people can read through it and suggest how to improve. I'm only doing fanfiction so I can improve on my writing in English. Enjoy. :3

 

[Pokemon elite]

Welcome to my fanfiction!__________________________________________________________________________

Hey, thanks for showing an interest in my fanfiction. I hope to see some constructive critism from you guys and I hope you can enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. I hope you have a good time, please feel free to give me as much constructive critsm as need be and note that I will be able to take a verbal slap in the face or two if it isn't upto your standards/expectations.

I'd also like to point out that I am not a professional writer of these sorts of things. I am okay at English, but I am currently studying to improve in my English skills in college. I didn't get a chance to do my GCSEs so I am stuck in an English Lv. 1 Cert for now.

Anyway, on to the notice.

Notice__________________________________________________________________________________________

I've decided to do a Pokémon Fanfiction again. I'd like to point out this time I am using OpenOffice to make sure I have a minimal amount of typing or gramatical errors. I won't be using it on none fanfiction text, though so don't expect everything to be perfect. I won't be reading through the fanfictions in great detail as I think relying on the quality of the ideas that come out of my head is quality enough.

My last fanfiction was Pokémon Chronicles which died around Pewter City due to people ranting over the same problems and not achually reading it before rating it as one star. I request you read my Pokémon fanfiction and use this system to rate it:


Okay, thanks for reading that system. I wouldn't expect anything over three or four stars, personally so please be honest when you rate my work. If it is terrible I will take my time to revise and edit it. I am not perfect at fanfictions but I hope to improve, eventually.

The final thing for me to access is constructive critism, if you post that you didn't like it I am expecting to see a reason why. If I do not get a reason, I will not know where to improve this and I will not be happy with your post.

Main Character Profile_____________________________________________________________________________

Name: Kai
Hometown: Viridian City
Age: 13
Badges: 0
Items: Pokedex, Pokeballs x5.

Pokemon:

Bulbasaur - This jolly Pokemon was given to Kai as his starting partner from Kyran who came to his house from request of Professor Oak. She is rather naive but she is also extremely friendly and kind to other Pokemon.
Moves: Tackle, Growl, Leech-seed.

Chapter One_____________________________________________________________________________________

The wonderful and diverse world of Pokemon is split into four regions. Each of these regions hold mysterious creatures known as Pokemon, our story begins in the region of Kanto in a small rural area known as Pallet Town. This town is home to Professor Samuel Oak who is one of the greatest scientists of Pokemon, he dedicated his life to the study of these marvelous creatures and he is known all through the region of Kanto.


Kai was tossing and turning in his bed, he had stayed up until three AM the previous night since he couldn't sleep from the excitement of obtaining his first Pokemon which his father had went to get from Pallet Town. He woke up slowly as he pondered what Pokemon he would receive, hoping that it would be a Charmander like he had asked his father to try get him. He threw the bed-sheet covers off the bed as he ran his fingers through his thick, blonde hair he heard a noise coming from downstairs.


Kai quickly hopped up with excitement, he almost stumbled as he jumped out of bed and quickly ran to his wardrobe and began to take off his pajamas. He quickly grabbed his clothing which consisted of his favorite blue t-shirt with the picture of a Kyogre on the front, a pair of simple blue jeans and a navy-coloured jacket. He quickly slammed his door open, to his surprise there were two people standing in the doorway.


It was his father and a thin, small man in a white lab coat with silky black hair and a pair of thick framed glasses hanging off his nose. Kai quickly walked downstairs and approached his father who didn't notice him walking behind him. His father was chatting with the black-haired man while brushing his thin mustache.


"Well, Kyran. That sure is interesting" said Kai's father as he chuckled.


"Indeed, I am presuming the boy behind you is Kai..?" said Kyran as he leered down to Kai.


"Oh, Kai. I didn't see you" said Kai's father as he turned around and paced back a few steps.


"Yeah... Didn't you say you were visiting Pallet Town?" said Kai as he rubbed his eyes and looked at Kyran.


"Yeah, funny coincidence really. I contacted Professor Oak before hand and he found our story so interesting that he sent Kyran here to deliver you a Pokemon." said Kai's father as he chuckled and looked down at Kai.


"Yes, I've got these Pokemon from Professor Oak." said Kyran as he pulled out three Pokeballs.


"Well, thats awesome!" shouted Kai as he ran up to Kyran and looked at the Pokeballs which Kyran had clutched in his sweaty palms.


"Well, we have these three Pokemon. Professor Oak decided the Pokemon Bulbasaur, Squirtle and Charmander were perfect for novice trainers." said Kyran as he grinned lightly and placed the Pokeballs on a small cabinet which was next to the door.


"Well, could I see them? I'd like to know what their personalities are like before I make a choice." said Kai confidently as he looked down at the Pokeballs.


"Indeed" said Kyran as he grabbed the Pokeball which contained Charmander and pushed the button in the middle. The Pokeball expanded in his hand and then a red beam shot out instantly and released a small Charmander.
"This one is quite troublesome, we've had it for a while since no trainers were willing to take it" said Kyran as he looked down at the little Pokemon.


"Char, Charmander!" said the small Pokemon as he grinned and then suddenly walked towards the staircase. Charmander jumped in the air and swiped the banister of the staircase. There was a small silence and then a small piece of the banister fell to the bottom of the staircase.


"Charmander, return. No, no, certainly not" said Kyran as he returned Charmander into its Pokeball in a beam of red light.


"Darn, I was hoping to get a Charmander. That one is just too troublesome, though. Could I see the next one please?" said Kai as he grinned politely to Kyran.


"Yes, next up is Squirtle" said Kyran as he picked up another Pokeball off the cabinet. The Pokeball expanded in his hand as he pushed the button. A sharp beam of red light shot out and Squirtle lay on the floor, motionless.


"Uhh, this ones a little strange." said Kyran as he grinned lightly.


"I see, well Squirtle... I think you're great!" said Kai as he grinned and knelt to the floor to reach eye level with the little turtle-like Pokemon.


"Squir--" said the Squirtle as he quickly straitened his limbs and then shot his body into the inside of his shell.


"Squirtle doesn't want to leave the lab, he enjoys watering the plants and he is usually quite timid" said Kyran as he sighed.


"Well, Okay" said Kai.


Kyran returned Squirtle into its Pokeball swiftly and then placed it back on the cabinet. He picked up the last Pokeball which had a grass emblem on the side. He quickly pushed the button and the Pokeball expanded yet again, a beam of scarlet red light shot out and a small Pokemon with a bulb on its back shot out.


"This is Bulbasaur, she is usually quite jolly and friendly to most of the other Pokemon. Although, she is quite naive" said Kyran as he grinned lightly to the Bulbasaur.


"Bulba-- Bulbasaur" said Bulbasaur as she grinned lightly then turned her head to Kai who was still on his knees.


"Hey Bulbasaur. Kyran, I have decided this Pokemon is perfect for me! She is so cute" said Kai as he grinned at the Bulbasaur which smiled back.


"Well, good choice. Bulbasaur is an excellent choice for beginners. I'm sure she will be very useful" said Kyran as he pulled out Bulbasaurs Pokeball.


"This is yours, and take these too. Your Pokedex and Pokeballs, you'll need them" said Kyran as he handed Bulbasaurs Pokeball with five additional empty balls and a small red box which opened up like a book.


"Well, okay. Bulbasaur, return" said Kai as he grinned and returned Bulbasaur into her Pokeball swiftly. I best put these in my backpack said Kai as he opened up the cabinet and pulled out his backpack from inside. He placed his Pokedex in his pocket and then placed his Pokeballs in his backpack. He was still gripping Bulbasaurs Pokeball, unsure where to put it.


"Ah, Kai. Don't worry because I have this" said Kai's father as he pulled out a green belt which had small slots around it which seemed to fit Pokeballs to the belt.


"Uh, what is it?" said Kai as he looked skeptically at the belt that his father was holding.


"Its a belt you can place your Pokeballs on, all the professional trainers use them!" said Kai's father as he passed it to Kai.


"Well, okay" said Kai as he strapped it around his waist and placed Bulbasaurs Pokeball in the first slot and then tied it down to his waist.


"Okay, Kai. I'd get ready before you go because once you leave here there is no turning back. The road to becoming a Pokemon master is a long one..." said Kyran as he grinned and opened the door.


"Oh, leaving so soon?" said Kai's father.


"Yeah, I have to get back to help Professor Oak study up on these Slowpoke back at the lab" said Kyran as he walked out of the door and shut it behind him, grinning and waving with his left hand.


Kai had just obtained his very first Pokemon, a jolly, friendly and naive Bulbasaur from Kyran. He ran upstairs eagerly to pack his backpack and prepare for his Pokemon journey through the Kanto region. His adventure had just begun.

My Comments on this Chapter_______________________________________________________________________

Expectations of this chapter: Three Stars out of five.

Reason: I am not very good at starting out fanfictions, I work better once I have finished the starting chapter of a fanfiction.

Comments on this chapter: Well, I cannot comment much on this chapter. I think it is average and nothing special but it will certainly be something once when I introduce the main plot which hasn't been introduced as of yet. Continue to read guys, lets hope the new plot is exciting as I am making it out to be. :P

Hey pretty good start man, I'm going to read, all your adventures about this story. It just needs a little fixing ok. Now the part, where it says where he asked his father to try get him. Well change that up a little ok, say he asked his father to try and get him. Ok this chapter is real good. Um ok I see most people already told you what and what. But That was the only thing that bothered me, so just change that ok. Well I'll give this chapter a 4/5 stars, because its a really good start. And keep on working on it ok.

Oh I see you already made part 2, let me read it real quick.

Comment________________________________________________________

Hey everyone! I written chapter two last night but I was limited on time so I may of rushed it a little, I just read through it and it seems acceptable. I couldn't notice any spelling errors but there may be a grammar mistake or two which I am sure will be pointed out when someone reads it.

I hope you enjoy reading it, I've decided not to reveal all of the true plot until later on.

Note: I want you guys to vote if you want bigger chapters or if you want them to stay the same since I don't want to rush you into reading alot...

Chapter Two______________________________________________________


Kai was in the living room slipping his shoes on when he heard a thump in the distance, someone was knocking on the door so Kai slipped on his left shoe then stumbled towards the door. He reached the door and unlocked it and then opened it casually, not expecting who was stood on the other side.


It was Officer Jenny, her sharp scarlet eyes and ocean-blue tinted hair instantly caught Kai's attention. She was a friend of Kai's father, she was in full uniform and her face looked serious. She looked down at Kai and pulled out a small piece of paper from inside of her pocket which she quickly unfolded to reveal it was a search warrant.


"I have a warrant to search all of the houses in Viridian City, sorry kid but I will have to search your house" said Officer Jenny in a serious but sympathetic voice as she put the warrant back in her jacket.


"Uh, why?" muttered Kai.


"We believe that Team Rocket is in the area, we need to find them as soon as possible" shouted Officer Jenny as she walked past Kai and made her way into the living room.


"Father do we have any Team Rocket members inside our house?" chuckled Kai as he turned around to face the staircase.


Kai's father was upstairs, but he didn't quite hear what Kai shouted. He quickly strolled downstairs casually and quickly noticed Officer Jenny searching behind the living room couch.


"Well, it looks like downstairs is secure" said Officer Jenny as she pulled herself back on her feet after searching behind the couch.


"Yeah, why are you here, Officer?" asked Kai's father.


"I'm here because Team Rocket have been noticed leaving Viridian Forest and we suspect them to be in the city as we speak" replied Officer Jenny with a serious look on her face.


"Well, thats okay then. What about you, Kai?" said Kai's father as he grinned.


"Well, I am going to be leaving soon for Viridian Fore--" said Kai before he was interupted by Officer Jenny.


"No, out of the question" shouted Officer Jenny as she slammed her hands against the table.


"Why not..?" said Kai's father.


"We don't know if Team Rocket are still in Viridian Forest or not, members could be out there!" yelled Officer Jenny.


"Well, thats none of my concern" said Kai.


"What, why?" shouted Officer Jenny.


"Because, I have my Bulbasaur with me. She won't let anything happen to me." said Kai confidently as he pulled out Bulbasaurs Pokeball and tossed it into the air. The ball expanded and a beam of red light shot out to reveal Bulbasaur asleep on the floor.
"Yeah, looks like she will really help you" chuckled Officer Jenny.


Kai nudged Bulbasaur for a moment which woke her up, she yawned a little and then stood up beside him.


"Bulba--" yawned Bulbasaur as she opened her eyes and stretched her hind legs out.


"Well, if you think its wise but remember this. Team Rocket are ruthless, don't get cocky just because you have a Pokemon with you" said Officer Jenny.


"I'm sure!" said Kai as he picked up his backpack and tossed it over his shoulders.


Kai quickly ran through the door with Bulbasaur following. They quickly made their way outside of Viridian City and found themselves stood in a grassy meadow. Trees swayed in the wind, the sky was clear and beautiful. It seemed like everything was perfect to Kai and Bulbasaur.


"Wow, there is Viridian Forest!" yelled Kai as he pointed towards a large grove of trees in the distance.


"Bulba-- Bulbasaur!" said Bulbasaur in a cheerful voice.


"Well, lets go!" shouted Kai.


Kai quickly walked ahead towards the grove of trees in the distance before he realized Bulbasaur wasn't moving, he turned around and noticed that she was still stood in the exact same position as before.


"Bulba, Bulbasaur" muttered Bulbasaur as she put her hind legs forward and growled at a bush in front of her which was shaking.


Kai quickly walked up to her to see what was wrong, he stood behind her and noticed the bush shaking slightly for an instant and then two furry, brown paws popping out of the bush.


"Show yourself!" shouted Kai as he pulled a Pokeball out of his backpack and thought to himself that it must be a wild Pokemon.


The bush shook and out popped a small bear with a crescent-moon on its forehead. It had dazzling brown fur and small cute eyes.


"Teddi, Teddiursa" said the small Pokemon cutely as he placed his paw in his mouth and began to suckle on it.


"Wow, whats that?" said Kai as he pulled out his Pokedex and opened it up like a book.


"Teddiursa, the Little Bear Pokemon. It lets honey soak into its paws so it can lick them all the time. Every paw is said to taste unique." said the Pokedex as lights flashed on and off momentarily and then the Pokedex lid shut.


"Uh, that wasn't much help" said Kai as he looked towards the Teddiursa which was still suckling on its paw.


The Teddiursa grinned a little then quickly took his paw out of his mouth and ran towards Bulbasaur while Kai was distracted. He grabbed Bulbasaur by the face and jumped up on her back.


"Teddi, Teddiursa!" yelled Teddiursa as he began to sniff Bulbasaurs bulb.


Teddiursa started to lick Bulbasaurs bulb. Bulbasaur didn't look impressed with this as she rolled onto her side and the Teddiursa quickly dropped off.


"Uh, Bulbasaur. Get ready!" yelled Kai.


"Bulba!" said Bulbasaur as she turned and faced Teddiursa.


"Okay Bulbasaur, use Tackle!" commanded Kai.


Bulbasaur charged at Teddiursa but Teddiursa quickly jumped in the air and landed behind Bulbasaur. She looked around and noticed Teddiursa chuckling at her. Teddiursa suddenly ran at Bulbasaur and rammed his paw into her face then tore it down, scratching her face.


"Bulbasaur! Jump back and use Leech-Seed!" yelled Kai.


Bulbasaur quickly replied and jumped back then shook off the pain from the scratch-wound on her face. Her Bulb began to glow and a seed appeared atop of her bulb, this seed flew off her bulb at blinding speed and landed on Teddiursa's stomach before he could react. The seed sprouted vines which quickly wrapped around Teddiursa and began to suck his energy away.


"Great Bulbasaur, now use tackle!" yelled Kai as he grinned and pointed towards Teddiursa.


"Bulba, Bulbasaur!" said Bulbasaur as she ran towards Teddiursa.


Teddiursa was in pain, he began to scream and tears quickly filled his face. Bulbasaur stopped in an instant, feeling sorry for the small bear which was entrapped inside of the vines. Teddiursa saw his chance, the tears quickly disappeared and he grinned and then ripped the vines off his body with his claws.


"Teddi, Teddiursa!" said the Teddiursa.


"Darn, he was just faking it Bulbasaur. Tackle!" yelled Kai as his temper began to build.


Bulbasaur quickly ran at Teddiursa who was too busy trying to brush the rest of the dead vines off his body. Bulbasaur saw her chance, she rammed into the Teddiursa with a full body tackle and knocked him to the floor.


"Good work!" yelled Kai.


He quickly grabbed a Pokeball and tossed it at the Teddiursa. The Pokeball stood still momentarily and then began to shake...

Comment on this chapter_________________________________________

Expectations of this chapter: Three stars out of five.

Reason: Well, it was an average amount of text and it could of been better. ^_^

Comments on this chapter: A pretty average chapter, its typical of me. I felt like battling something different for my first chapter so I decided a Johto Pokémon would be perfect to battle. I decided Teddiursa because its cute, strong and awesome.

I'm leaving it at this for now, I will most likely post the next chapter in a day so people can read through it and suggest how to improve. I'm only doing fanfiction so I can improve on my writing in English. Enjoy. :3

Wow, this chapter was even better. Just a little correction to this chapter ok.Ok the part where it says, found themsleves stood in a grassy meadow. Well better yet say, found themselves standing in a grassy meadow. This story was real funny, with that little Teddiursa lol. I really liked how, that little bear Pokemon, was trying his best to take out Bulbasaur.

The fake tears, was perfect to go with this, good job man. And I think you should make your story just a little bit longer ok. Like at least add another paragraph to your storys ok. I really enjoy reading this story of yours. Like last time 4/5 ok, its a really good story. Keep up the good work ok.

 

[Kozoi]

Okay, Thanks for the C+C. I updated the meadow part.

 

[Alex31]

I enjoy the formatting off this, it makes for a cool read.

On the actual topic, apart from needing to vary your vocab a little more, I think its a good job.

 

[Kozoi]

Chapter Three__________________________________________________


Kai was standing in a grassy meadow, sweat dropping from his brow as he hoped desperately that this Pokeball would catch the little Pokemon that he tossed it at. The Pokeball shook from left to right three times before drawing into the center and locking with a particular clicking noise.


"...Did it work?" thought Kai to himself.


"Bulba- Bulbasaur!" panted Bulbasaur who was tired from fighting Teddiursa.


"Don't worry Bulbasaur, return" called Kai as he returned Bulbasaur into her Pokeball for a well-earned rest.


Kai approached Teddiursas Pokeball and picked it up. He quickly placed it on his belt and tied it next to Bulbasaurs Pokeball.


"All right!" thought Kai to himself before hearing a noise coming from behind him.


He turned around with grimace and noticed two particularly large men which were hauling two wooden crates. They had black uniforms with a scarlet 'R' emblem on them, they were most obviously members of Team Rocket.


"Hurry up, the boss won't be pleased if he finds out we can't find it" said one of the Team Rocket grunts.


"Yeah, I know" replied the other Rocket member.


Kai quickly ducked down, to avoid being spotted. They walked past him, not noticing him lay on the wet grassy meadow floor. He wiped the sweat off his brow and pulled himself back on his feet as they walked off into the distance.


"... I wonder what that was about" thought Kai to himself.


Kai began to make his way to Viridian Forest. He instantly noticed the thick greenery in the distance. Trees swayed in the wind, blocking off most light in the forest. Kai suddenly heard a noise
coming from the forest.


"H-H-HELP ME" echoed the mysterious voice through Kai's head.


Kai quickly ran into the forest, to his amazement the forest seemed perfectly calm and everything seemed fine. He didn't notice anything other than a flock of Pidgey which soared through the sky and quickly passed Kai.


"...I must of just imagined it, was it just my imagination?" thought Kai to himself as he walked deeper into the forest to look around.


Everything did seem calm, but suddenly...


"... You came" echoed the same mysterious voice as before.


"Huh? Who are you...?" shouted Kai bravely before noticing there was nobody in sight.


Kai was confused, he didn't know if it was real or just his imagination playing tricks on him again. He scratched his head and continued to walk forward. Suddenly his body began to feel heavy, his arms slumped down as his body crashed to the floor. Kai couldn't stay awake, his eyelids dropped and he quickly fell into a deep slumber.


It seemed as if he had awoken in a flowery meadow, a petite girl stood in the distance. She had pale skin, scarlet red hair, dazzling hazel eyes and she was wearing a long, flowing white dress.


"... Please, help me" said the little girl.


Her voice was echoing in his ears, her lips didn't move in the slightest. Kai was fascinated about this meadow, an infinity of flowers sprawling out which seemed like it would never end. The sky was clear blue, a pleasant breeze blowing in the air which seemed to soothe Kai.


"How... who are you? Where is this place?" questioned Kai.


"Theres not much time. They're after me, they want it..." echoed the little girls voice in Kai's ear.


"Want what?" muttered Kai.


"... This" replied the little girl.


She pulled out a black stone orb with a mysterious pattern that looked like a scarlet cross with a green 'X' going through the middle of it. It looked very peculiar, the orb was like nothing Kai had ever seen before. It had a mysterious aura about it, it seemed to be radiating some sort of energy.


"What... is it?" questioned Kai briefly.


"This... is the orb of origin" said the little girl.


Kai looked at the orb, it seemed as if it was drawing his body in. He walked up to the girl and peered down at the orb briefly. Suddenly, the sky began to darken. The flowers began to shrivel into nothing, dark clouds filled the sky as an ominous wind filled the air.


"Huh, whats going on?" said Kai.


The flowery meadow was gone, all that remained was an endless wasteland of shriveled up weeds, the sky was pitch black and scarlet red bolts of lightning shot down from the sky into one spot. A black cloud formed behind the girl.


"Please... take the orb. You're the only person I can rely on" said the little girl.


She passed him the orb which he gripped in his hands tightly. A pair pale hands reached out and grabbed the girls shoulders. They pulled her into the cloud, she did not hesitate as her body was soon engulfed by the fog.


Kai felt weak, his hands were numb and his limbs felt heavy. Three flashes of scarlet passed his eyes and soon, he found himself back in Viridian Forest.


"...What was that? Just a dream...?" thought Kai to himself.


He looked down briefly and noticed it, lay on the floor beside him where he had passed out. It was that same orb, he picked it up and placed it in his backpack and then dragged himself back up to his feet while pondering about who the little girl was and the purpose of the orb.


"It couldn't of been a dream, its not like you come back with things from your dreams all the time... I wonder if she's okay..." thought Kai to himself.


He decided it would be best for him to forget about it. He continued to walk through Viridian Forest
and he soon found himself lost, he was following the path but it seemed to twist and turn and it seemed like he would never get out. Suddenly, Kai heard something in the distance.


There was a small, lake with a little blue Pokemon lay beside it. The Pokemon seemed to be relaxed, it waggled its little blue tail as Kai approached it from behind slowly.


Kai pulled out his Pokedex from his pocket and quickly flicked it forward, opening the Pokedex like a book. It flashed on and off momentarily and then began to speak.


"Poliwag, the Tadpole Pokemon. Its skin so thin, its internal organs are visible. It has trouble walking on its newly grown feet" said the Pokedex.


"Wow, a Poliwag" thought Kai to himself.


He quickly pulled out Teddiursas Pokeball and tossed it into the air, sending Teddiursa out in a beam of dazzling red light.


The small Poliwag turned around briefly and noticed Teddiursa, it yelped a little and then waddled its way towards the pond. It quickly dived in before Kai or Teddiursa could react.


"Well, go after it Teddiursa" yelled Kai.


Teddiursa didn't move, he quickly walked up to Kai instead with his paw in his mouth. He suckled on his paw like a pacifier and looked up to Kai.


"Uh, go after it..." said Kai.


Teddiursa looked up then looked back at the pond, he quickly ran over to the pond and then placed his toe in the pond. He didn't like the feel of the water so he fell backwards and landed on his bottom, it was blatantly obvious that Teddiursa didn't feel like going for a swim.


Last comments__________________________________________________


Expectations of this chapter: Four stars out of five.

Reason: Well, it was an average amount of text. This section was quite typical of me, but I introduced some storyline and I left this paragraph with many questions unanswered.

Comments on this chapter:

So many questions that I have left unanswered, I bet you guys want to find out but you also want me to continue to improve on my fanfiction skills since theres always room for improvement. Some of the questions running through your mind will be:

Who is this girl? What is the orb of origin? Why do Team Rocket want it? Will Teddiursa go after Poliwag or is it going to escape?

This will be answered as the storyline unfolds, until next time guys and sorry for the delay on this chapter. ;)