Pok?mon: Unknown Force

Omega Latios

Whhheeee... *shot'd*
    • 2,877
    Posts
    20
    Years
    This Is My Newest Comic Series.

    ::...~Story~...::
    Long Time Ago, There Was War Between Pok?mon And Humans. Then There Was Really Bright Light Coming From Sky, And Shadowy Figure Fall From Sky. It Destroyed Everything, Pok?mon And Humans And Then Just Disappeared. Many Years After That, Team Rocket Found Mysterious Tower From Desert. It Was Guarded By Many Strong Pok?mon. What Is Secret Of The Tower?

    Story Will Continue...

    Chapter 1 - The Mission
    --------------------------

    If You Want To Join, Fill This Form.

    Name:
    Age:
    Personality:
    Pok?mon:
    Sprite And Overworld:
     
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    This is coming on rather nicely OL, ooh I wonder what fell from the sky the tension, the drama. lol. but seriously good comic.
     
    [PokeCommunity.com] Pok?mon: Unknown Force

    You know all about my charecter check my comic and yea I will be in Team Rocket!
     
    Name: Yen
    Age: 16
    Personality: Stubborn but kind
    Pok?mon: Vulpix lvl 30, Pichu Lvl 20 and Eevee lvl 25
    Sprite And Overworld:
    [PokeCommunity.com] Pok?mon: Unknown Force


    I'll be a member of team rocket if you wanna edit my character and put and R on him then that's fine by me ^_^
     
    Good comic! Reminds me of silons comic though. Anyway knowing you, It will turn out awsome. So ill join now.
    Name: Danial Gretto
    Age: 16
    Personality: Brave/picky
    Pokemon: Bayleaf,Quilava,Crocanaw.
    Sprites:
    [PokeCommunity.com] Pok?mon: Unknown Force
     
    Is it just me or is the main character being a Team Rocket member becoming a clich? here? Anyways...

    The panels are way too big, me thinks -.- The spelling and grammar are horrible too. I'll just take some quotes from your comic and show you what I mean... (corrections in bold)

    Thanks for coming here, Silon! I have a mission for you
    Click to expand...

    So what do I have to do?
    Click to expand...

    Some other team rocket members found a mysterious (not mysteroius) from the desert(the name of the desert would be nice here -.-)
    Click to expand...

    I have a mission to do, so (I don't think so fits in here very well, but w/e...) can I use the teleport machine?
    Click to expand...

    That was just the beggining. I couldn't help noticing your characters seem to have no personality at all, how often have you seen TR members thanking or talking politely to eachother? Your plot needs to be much more descriptive too. Why does Giovanni want Silon to investigate the tower? Is there a rumor of a strong Pok?mon dwelling there or something? (that would fit TRs style). And how come the black thing that fell from the sky destroyed everything, but only a few years later the Silph.co has been rebuilded and TR has taken over it again? And how the heck can someone who's dead make buildings anyway? You said the creature destroyed everything. Surely you didn't mean that. Did you mean it destroyed everything in its path, perhaps? And why don't people bother actually making their own casts nowadays?
     
    ok heres my trainer...

    ok heres my trainer....
    [PokeCommunity.com] Pok?mon: Unknown Force

    Name:Latias Tamer
    Age:18
    Personality:Brave,Funny/Humerous, Kind,
    Pok?mon:Latias
     
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    Latias you double posted.

    Anyway a so so comic, I'll give you sprites from my comic OL from the guys of my comic okay, hell be appearing soon but I'll give it to ya first.
     
    sorry i didnt mean to double post i axadently pressed post twice..im sorry

    also im changing my sprites a bit
     
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