Pokemon DZ

Saberdragon

Shoggoth on the Roof
  • 22
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    17
    Years
    Prologue

    The 13 mystical items: the Soul Dew, the Adamant Orb, the Lustrous Orb, the Magma Rock, the Red Chain, the Azure Flute, the Lunar Wing, the Red Orb, the Blue Orb, the Ruby, the Sapphire, the Silver Wing, and the Rainbow Wing. Separate, they each have their own power; but when placed together, they release their sealed powers: power over spirits, power to create an indestructible shield, power over light, power over earth, power to bind the strongest of beings, power to summon Arceus, power over the moon, power to summon Kyogre, power to summon Groudon, power over fire, power over water, power over wind, and power to unlock dormant abilities. And when the thirteen powers are released, each item chooses one Pokemon to bear the keys to controlling the power.


    The items came together only once, to stop the rampage of the Chaos Chimera, a beast with the powers of all seventeen Pokemon types whose power rivals that of the mighty Arceus. The Chaos Chimera was suppressed by the power of the 13 items and was banished to an alternate realm, but it vowed to return and destroy the world.

    After the release of their sealed powers the items were deemed too dangerous to remain in their shrines. So now, they have been placed under the protection of the mighty Crystal Sector Pokemon. But can they protect the items forever?
     
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    FYI: Italicized text in quotes indicates telepathic speech

    Ch.1 - Rescued

    "I think she went this way!" a man shouted.

    "Are you sure?" another man shouted back from a different part of the woods.

    "Yeah!"

    "Excellent. Go get her Banette!"

    "You too Dusknoir!"

    After being released from their Pokeballs, the two Ghost Pokemon split-up and began their pursuit.

    * * *

    A Latias flew through the forest, trying to find a hiding place as quickly as possible. A criminal organization known as Dimension Zeta had begun a campaign to capture the 13 Mystical Items and their heralds. They sent people known as DZ Hunters to capture the Pokemon. As Latias was being pursued, she hoped that Team DZ (as Dimension Zeta was refereed to by Trainers) wouldn't be able to locate the secret location where she hid the Soul Dew. The mysterious orb that contained the soul of a Latios now had the power to summon spirits as a result of the union of the 13 Items. After the Chaos Chimera was defeated, Latias was chosen to become the herald of the Soul Dew, and as such, she became the key to using the Soul Dew's power.

    Latias came to the base of a mountain and decided to make use of a cave dug into the slope. Once inside, she found a maze of tunnels. She chose one and flew down it and ended up in a small chamber. The chamber had a small ledge built into the wall that Latias landed on. She felt her heart rate speed up as she began to grow very afraid. Suddenly, she heard noises and shouts coming from the opening of the cave.

    "I'll bet she flew into this cave! Go in after her!" one of the men commanded the Ghosts.

    Using their ability to track down Psychic-types, it didn't take long for the Ghost Pokemon to find her. Banette and Dusknoir charged their Shadow Ball attacks to incapacitate Latias, when the cavern was illuminated by a light; at the entrance to another connecting tunnel stood a tall man wearing a black trench coat. He had short black hair and blue eyes. In one hand he was holding a torch; in the other hand he was holding a strange looking Pokeball. The surprise from the appearance of the man caused Banette and Dusknoir to lose their focus and the Shadow Balls disappeared.

    "Go Darkat!" the man shouted as he threw the Pokeball.

    The Ball opened and released a flash of light. Then the light disappeared and a large cat-like Pokemon stood in its place. Darkat had the appearance of a black panther except for the midnight blue crystals running down the length of its back. It let out a loud roar as a challenge to the two Ghosts. Just then, the two DZ Hunters came running into the cavern. They looked first at Latias, then at the man, and finally at Darkat.

    "You two should have stayed outside." The man told them.

    "You sound confident." one of the Hunters responded. "Do you really think that over-grown housecat can stop us?"

    "Yep."

    "We'll see about that." the other Hunter told him. "Dusknoir, use Shadow Ball!"

    Dusknoir moved its hands together and a ball of dark matter formed. Dusknoir pulled its hand back and then fired the Shadow Ball straight at Darkat.

    "You know what to do Darkat." The man said.

    Darkat nodded its head and stood its ground. The Shadow Ball connected with Darkat at full force, but the impact didn't faze Darkat at all.

    "Let's end this. Use Shadow Vortex!" the man commanded.

    Darkat's crystals began to glow. A mass of dark energy appeared over Darkat and started spinning. The man ran over to Latias and grabbed her arm.

    "Hold on tight." He told her.

    She nodded and then gripped his arm tightly. The vortex was spinning faster and faster until it began to draw in Banette, Dusknoir, and the two Hunters. They tried to escape, but it was too late. All four were sucked into the vortex, which then disappeared.

    "Are you okay?" the man asked her.

    "I think so." She said telepathically.

    "That's good. By the way, my name is Don. Do you have a name?"

    "My friends all call me Dove."

    "Okay. Dove it is then. Now before everything else, you need to be checked out."

    Don unzipped his trench coat. Lining the insides were dozens of magnets. And attached to each of the magnets was a Pokeball identical to Darkat's. Don chose one, pulled it off of its magnet, and tossed it. Another cat-like Pokemon was released. This Pokemon resembled a tiger. It was silver in color with blue stripes. On its forehead was an oval-shaped Sapphire and two short spikes made of Sapphire were attached to its shoulders.

    "This is Psyger." Don introduced. "She's an expert medic and one of the few Psyger able to perform surgery using Psychic power. If something's wrong, she'll take care of it."

    "Hello there." Psyger said.

    When Don saw Dove's surprised reaction, he explained.

    "I teach all of my Pokemon how to speak. Psychic types are the easiest, because you can communicate with them telepathically."

    "This won't take long." Psyger told Dove.

    The Sapphire on her forehead began to glow. Psyger closed her eyes, and when she opened them, they were the same color as the Sapphire. She studied Dove for a few moments, analyzing her and searching for injuries. She found one quickly. Psyger closed her eyes again and this time, they were normal when she opened them. The Sapphire also returned to normal.

    "Are you in any pain?" Psyger asked.

    "No, why?" Dove answered.

    "Hold out your right wing."

    Dove did as she was asked. Psyger looked it over and found the injury: a long, deep gash on the underside of Dove's wing. Then she showed Don and Dove her discovery.

    "The adrenaline flowing through your system from the fear overrode the pain receptors. That's why you weren't in any pain."

    "Can you fix it?" Don asked.

    "Yes, but I need you to release Anteer. I need him to identify what made the cut so that I know what is needed to heal it."

    "No problem." Don told her.

    He drew a third Pokeball from inside his coat. A quick toss released a third Pokemon that Dove had never seen before. Anteer was a large deer-like Pokemon. Its fur was dark green with black spots. Its antlers and hooves were made of black crystal.

    "Dove, this is Anteer. Anteer, this is Dove." Don introduced.

    "It's a pleasure to meet you, Dove." Anteer said.

    "And it is a pleasure to meet you as well, Anteer." Dove responded.

    "I need your help Anteer." Psyger told him.

    "Sure. What do you need?" Anteer asked as he walked over.

    "Can you identify what made this cut?"

    "Yeah, that's an easy one. This cut was made by a Psycho Cut."

    "What does that mean?" Dove asked.

    "It means that we need a Dark-type Pokemon to repair the damage. Could you come over here Darkat?" Psyger said.

    Darkat walked over and joined the rest of them at Dove's side.

    "What's up?" he asked.

    "I need you to use a Dark Crystal Beam on this cut." Psyger told him.

    "A what?" Dove interrupted.

    "A Dark Crystal Beam is a beam of energy that originates from the crystal of a Dark type Pokemon." Anteer explained. "Just watch Darkat."

    Darkat's crystals began to glow again. This time, a stream of Dark energy flowed from the crystals to Dove's cut. As the beam passed over the gash, the tissues and nerves began to mend themselves and soon, the cut was gone.

    "That was incredible!" Dove exclaimed. "Thank you so much!"

    "No problem." Don answered. "Now come on, we're going to get out of this cave."

    He returned Darkat, Psyger, and Anteer to their respective Pokeballs. Then Don helped Dove up and together they made their way out of the cave and into the sunlit forest.
     
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    I looked at the prologue and thought "Oh no... Another story chapter writer."
    Luckily, your first chapter was much longer.
    I don't really have any advice, except what kcander90 said, and this: "Try to add some more to your prologue if at all possible - descriptions are best. If you can't, I think we can let it slide." =]

    (Spaces in between and description, are very important, don't forget them.)

    Looking at your writing style, I was impressed at the word usage, and the description you did use. Just keep expanding on that.
     
    Thanks for the advice. I apologize for the lack of descriptions for Dusknoir, Banette, and Latias, but I figured that most people on this site already know what they look like. I did agree with the story's paragraphs needing spaced, so I fixed it. I hope the prologue is better. Sorry about how confusing the 13 powers are, but I had a hard time trying to think of them.
     
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    I apologize for the lack of descriptions for Dusknoir, Banette, and Latias, but I figured that most people on this site already know what they look like.

    it is true that most people know what latias, dusknoir, and banette look like. However it makes the story look better to include the description. Some people don't know what they are, if they are new to pokemon, or don't know what pokemon are, then they will be immediately turned away. Don't leave it to the reader to imagine what the scene looks like. Do leave the reader in the dark as to the future of the charters, which makes them curious
     
    Pokemon DZ Ch.3 - Pokemon Research

    Ch. 3 – Pokemon Research

    When Don and Dove exited the cave, they moved over to a pair of medium-sized rocks at the base of the mountain. Dove landed on one as Don rolled the other next to her and sat down.


    "So," Dove began, "who are you?"


    "I'm Corporal Donald James Smith of the Sinnoh National Guard. I served in the military for ten years starting just after my eighteenth birthday. I ended my military career five years ago as a Corporal and became a Pokemon Researcher." Don told her.


    "Where did you find those Pokemon? I've never seen them before."


    "While looking for the Spear Pillar, I discovered a portal left behind by the Legendary Dragon Giratina. I knew that from the type of portal. When I went through the portal, I ended up in a place called the Crystal Sector. It's a large island divided into 8 smaller regions. Once there, I found that the Crystal Sector was inhabited by many new species of Pokemon that I had never even heard of. The first one I had seen up-close was Darkat. He was an adventurer as well and we soon became close friends. He began traveling with me when I left the Crystal Sector and came back to this world. As soon as I steped out of the portal with Darkat, we were confronted by a man named Ryan Jaster. After talking with him, I found out that Giratina had discovered the Crystal Sector by accident and quickly left before seeing anything. I told Ryan about the Crystal Sector and introduced him to Darkat. Somehow, Ryan communicated with Darkat and taught him to speak human. Later, I would use Darkat to translate as I taught the rest of my Pokemon to speak. We talked some more and then Ryan asked me to collect data on the Crystal Sector Pokemon." Don explained.

    "How do you collect your data?" Dove asked.


    "I use these." Don said as he pulled out another Pokeball. It was identical to the ones that housed Darkat, Psyger, and Anteer. As Dove studied the ball, she saw that it was covered in a blue and silver circuit-board pattern.

    "This one's empty, so it's perfect to use as an example. This is a special kind of Pokeball that I designed. I call it a Scanner Ball. Whenever a Pokemon is caught using one of these, the Scanner Ball's internal computer performs an MRI and a CT scan. It also records the Pokemon's height, weight, gender, color, and type. The information is recorded in the computer's memory. The computer chips cover the core of the ball, and a special coating of an iron, steel, and titanium alloy protects the chips while making the ball itself nearly indestructible. Once I get the ball back to my lab, I can download the information to my computer."


    "How many Pokemon have you discovered?" was Dove's next question.


    "Forty-seven so far. I keep Darkat, Psyger, Anteer, a Dragon-type Pokemon named Jetragon, a Gyarados, and a Lucario with me and the rest live at my lab. I have the Gyarados and Lucario with me because Darkat told me that both of them can evolve into a third stage in the Crystal Sector."


    "I have one more thing I want to ask you." Dove said.


    "Shoot."

    "Can I be your assistant and travel with you?"


    The question caught Don off-guard, but he didn't have to think long.


    "Sure. I can teach you how to be a lab assistant and then you can help me collect my data. Besides, if Team DZ is after you, then you'll be safer with us anyway."


    "Thanks a lot! I can't wait to get started!"


    "That kind of enthusiasm is good. It means that we'll be able to get a lot of work done. But first, I'll take you to my lab so you can start learning how to be my assistant Researcher and meet my other Pokemon. The lab's through these woods, so we'll just walk there."


    They got up and Don headed towards a path through the woods with Dove flying beside him.


    A/N In order for everyone to understand the setting a little bit better, I want to clear up three things:
    1- The mountain with the cave that Dove entered in Chapter 2 is MountCoronet
    2- Don's House/Lab is in the middle of the woods that are south of CelesticTown
    3- The portal left behind by Giratina was in a room near the summit of Mt.Coronet.
    I also want to tell everyone that Ryan Jaster is Guard of the Twilight's O.C. and is featured in Chosen One of the Legendary and Chosen One of the Legendary 2: Shadow of Genesis
     
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    Your explanations seem pretty clear and reasonably believable, and slightly inspirational for my story.

    I had hit a snag for awhile and this gave me a new idea.
    Sadly, when life gives you inspiration, many ideas flow from it.
    Grasping the right one escapes me at the moment.

    You forgot to use italics for Dove's speech. Don't forget - she speaks through telepathy, so it is technically a "thought" being sent to Don.
     
    Pokemon DZ Ch. 4 - Don's House

    When they reached a bend in the path, Don stopped. The woods were too thick for Dove to see anything through them.

    "Before we go any further, I need to warn you of something. Some of the Pokemon act aggressively towards strangers. Now since it's late in the day, we shouldn't see any of them. But just in case, stay close to me." Don told her.

    "Okay." Dove answered.

    They continued on and rounded the bend. Dove wasn't prepared for what she saw. About ten feet ahead, the path ended in an enormous field surrounded by a tall, metal fence. A large gate was in front of them. The field contained nine large buildings that were all connected by glass hallways. As they exited the forest, Dove saw a small metal booth placed at the left edge of the gate. Don walked over to it and opened the door.

    "I need to register your paw-print into the security system." Don told her.

    She floated over and hovered right outside the booth. Inside the booth, she saw a swivel chair sitting in front of a computer terminal. Don sat down and started the computer. After a few moments, he accessed the security system and began entering information about Dove into the database. Then he withdrew a key from his pocket and used it on a keyhole in the wall that Dove hadn't noticed before. When Don pulled on the key, a part of the wall pulled out with it like the CD tray on a computer. The top of the tray was made of glass which covered a scanner.

    "Place one of your paws on the glass." Don said.

    Dove did as she was told. Don hit the ENTER button on the keyboard and a green light scanned Dove's paw.

    "Identification obtained. Registration of Latias complete." The computer's audio system announced.

    "There you go." Don said. "You're now registered and the security system can identify you from a scan of your paw-print."

    Don turned of the computer and stood up. Dove moved out of the way as he closed and locked the door.

    "Well," Don said, "now I'll show you where you now live."

    "I'd like that." Dove replied.

    He led her to the gate and, using the scanner on the gate post to identify him, went through into the field. They headed for the nearest building where Don opened the door and gestured for her to enter. As Don came in behind her, Dove marveled at the inside of the building. They were in a foyer with a granite tiled floor and beige walls. On either side of the foyer were two stained-wood staircases with carpet runners that matched the color of the walls. A door was on each wall at the bottom of the staircase. Straight ahead, and down four shallow steps was a sunken living-room. Hovering at the top of those four steps, Dove was amazed at the simple, yet beautiful room.

    The floor was covered in a white-colored carpet. The left and right walls, which were cream-colored, had lights built into them which illuminated the room. About twenty-five feet across from Dove was another set of four steps leading to a kitchen area. In the center of the room was a rectangular table, about five feet by three feet, flanked by two white-leather sofas. The table was covered in books. Dove floated down the steps and conducted a closer scan of the room. On the left side, in the corner closest to her was a large TV.

    "Rotom would love that." she thought to herself.

    Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something on the floor. A closer look revealed it to be a black, rectangular track with curved corners. The track encircled the table and ran underneath both sofas. Don saw what she was looking at and explained.

    "Both sofas rest on that track. The track enables the sofas to be easily moved around to face the TV or each other."

    Dove continued her inspection by looking over the books on the table. There were a total of twenty-seven. Four of the books were atlases on the four regions: Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh. The other twenty-three were journals.

    "Did you write all of these?" she asked.

    "Yep." Don answered. "Two of them focus on the Crystal Sector Pokemon, one is on the Crystal Sector itself, one is on the new attacks I discovered, one is on the thirteen items of legend, and the rest are on the eighteen types of Pokemon."

    "Eighteen?"

    "I learned that some Pokemon have traces of the element of Light, such as Ampharos and Volbeat."

    "Interesting."

    Don looked at his watch. It read 8:00 P.M.

    "We better get to bed. You've had a long day and need to sleep. Come on, I'll show you to your room."

    He led her back to the foyer and up the left-side steps. At the top of the steps was an open hallway that ran parallel to the front of the house. It overlooked the foyer on one side and the living-room on the other. On the nearest end of the hallway was another hallway perpendicular to the first. This hallway had a few doors on the side opposite them and one at the end of the hallway.

    "That's my room." Don said pointing to the door at the other end. "Yours can be the last one on the left."

    Dove floated down the hall and opened the door to her room. It was fairly plain: the walls were sky blue and bare. The carpet and ceiling were white as was the door. Across from the door was a large king-size bed with royal blue sheets and white pillows. On the left wall was a closet with the door open and on the right side was a closed door. There was a white ceiling fan with a light directly over the bed and there was a round, white nightstand on both sides of the bed against the wall.

    "Sorry it's so plain. We can decorate it over the next few days. That closed door connects to my room so if you need me, you can just knock." Don told her.

    "Thank you." Dove answered. "I don't know how to repay you for all that you've done for me."

    "Don't worry about it. Now get some sleep, you need it."

    Dove nodded and floated over to lay down on the bed.

    "Goodnight." Don told her.

    "Goodnight."

    He walked to the door, shut off the light for her, and pulled the door shut as he left. Dove was asleep within a few minutes.
     
    I am glad and proud to say that I saw no grammar errors in there.

    Some of the characteristic of this story remind me of the first story that got me interested in writing fan fiction - the aspect of light (and dark) Pokemon types (plus new attacks).

    Also, the creation of "fake-mon" was one of the things that I was interested in, which your story has in the first chapter.

    This will probably turn into a great story similar to what I wanted to write a few years ago.

    Keep writing!

    I'm interested to see more of your "Fake-mon" and new attacks.
     
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