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[Pokémon] Pokemon: Energy Collection CH1:Juniper
- Thread starter Hilbert
- Start date
- 10,285
- Posts
- 19
- Years
- Seen today
This was rather difficult to read.
For one thing, hit the Enter button twice to make a new paragraph, so that there's a blank line between each paragraph. This makes it easier to read online.
Secondly, it got kind of bothersome to read when nearly every sentence in this ended with an ellipses. It made it seem as if the story was full of incomplete thoughts. My advice is to edit this and combine sentences in a better way, especially for the narration. You want the narration to tell what's going on in a sure way. So instead of
You could say
It's easier to read and sounds more like a story. The narration is much cleaner.
See how this chapter or the next one works if you rewrite it following that advice.
Hope this helps.
For one thing, hit the Enter button twice to make a new paragraph, so that there's a blank line between each paragraph. This makes it easier to read online.
Secondly, it got kind of bothersome to read when nearly every sentence in this ended with an ellipses. It made it seem as if the story was full of incomplete thoughts. My advice is to edit this and combine sentences in a better way, especially for the narration. You want the narration to tell what's going on in a sure way. So instead of
You could say
It's easier to read and sounds more like a story. The narration is much cleaner.
See how this chapter or the next one works if you rewrite it following that advice.
Hope this helps.