Pokemon Evolution

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"I'm not a picky eater," I said lightly, casting a quick glance above us again. "In fact, I can eat pretty much anything."

I found myself unconsiously rolling a ball of flame back and forth in the palm of my hand. Wincing at my lack of focus, I extinguished the fire, shaking my hand to cool it off a little. Stretching, I looked back over at Nathan. "Where do you want to eat?" I asked, sitting back down.

Instead of waiting for an answer, another question popped out of my mouth. "Say, what's that?" I asked, noticing a corner of paper sticking out of his backpack. I could make out a bit of a drawing, there was a lot of red on it. "I didn't know we had any artists at the Institution."

I smiled at him. "Mind if I see?"
 
I sighed a little and said, "If you want to. I'm not really talented, and it's kinda grim, so..." I trailed off and looked over at her, saying, "But hey, if you want to, go right ahead. I was just bored first period today." I slid the binder over to her and returned to my observation of the cloud.

I sat up for a moment, then took my jacket off to roll up for a better pillow. With that done, I lay back down as I whistled a soft tune, a lullaby that changed slowly to a requiem.
 
I stared at the picture for a moment. The face, the shape, the eyes...

It was my mother.

I rose swiftly, glaring at him with pain flashing though my crimson eyes. "What the heck do you think you're playing at!?" I cried, trembling all over. "How did you get this picture? Where have you seen her?"

I didn't wait for a response. Throwing his sunglasses back at him, I turned tail and ran, the teardop and woman still playing behind my eyes. I escaped to the school's courtyard, collapsing and sobbing softly again. I bowed my head and whined. I should have known better than to trust someone who could get in to my mind.
 
I winched as the sunglasses hit my head, then bounced away. I hauled myself to my feet, dusted a bit of gravel from my paalms and jogged off after her. Heart pounding, more from fright than anything else, I was thinking I really shouldn't've let her see that... I had a suspicion... Shouldn't've... I almost ran by the courtyard and her without noticing that she was in it. Hastily, I backpeadled and entered slowly, almost silently.

She didn't seem to notice me. I gently rested a hand on her shoulder and whispered, "I'm sorry, okay? I can't ask you to forgive me, just know thaat... Well, I'm sorry. See 'ya around, I guess." With that, I turned and walked out, lamenting the loss of my friend.
 
I merely sat there, crying. Lost as I was in the memories again, it was hard to tell where reality began and the memories ended. I didn't know what was going on for a good amount of time.

That is, I didn't until his hand touched my shoulder. I winced and flinched away from him, hearing what he said. I let him go, determined not to follow. Trust. Trust was over rated. I didn't need it. I didn't need friends. Besides, he'd only get hurt.

I didn't need them.

Didn't want them...

I found myself rising and following Nathan anyways. I caught up with him, panting and still crying a little. "Nathan," I whispered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to react so badly. I just... It hurts to see her."

I collapsed against his chest, crying again. "Don't leave me alone like she did..." I pleaded softly. "I need you..."
 
Surprised as I was by her sudden reappearance, by her words, the hug I gave her must have been terribly awkward. Nonetheless, I hesitantly wrapped n arm about her and said, "I won't, okay? I won't. I didn't want to in the first place, Ashitaka. Hush, okay? I'm not going anywhere for a long, long time yet." I pulled back and tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. Giving her a small smile, I said, So don't mope, eh? Eveything's gonna be all right."

I laughed gently and said, "If you're still up for it, there's a great little sandwich shop I know of, we can go there when you get hungry."
 
I smiled softly, brushing the tears away from my cheeks. "All right, let's go then, shall we?"

I had to admit, I was rather fond of the hug I'd recieved. To be blunt, it was the first time anyone had really touched me in a remotely affectionate way since my Mother died. I was a little reluctant to move away from him. I liked having him close. It was nice to be cared about.

But, to deter any thoughts that he might be developing about just that, I took a tender step back. As always, I was more than shy. "If you're hungry, we can head out there now."
 
"Nah, I can wait," I said with a smile. I noted her step away from me as well and quietly gave up a few random hopes that had been forming in my head. Figure, I thought. The one girl I've met I might possibly like, and we're gonna stay "friends." I took a small step away from her as well, trying to make her feel a little more comfortable. I added, "I would like to get off-campus, though. We're liable to both get caught, we stay around here."
 
I watched him step away from me, lowering my head a little in dissapointment. "Yeah, sure," I said abently. "That's probably best. After all, we did both sign out."

Why did I even think I'd have a chance at romance? God was punishing me for getting my mother killed. It was impossible to think that He would be done with me so soon. I, after all, had someone's entire life to make up for.

I looked up at him rather hopefully, taking a very, very small step back towards him. "Any ideas where we should go then?"

Maybe...

A silent prayer wafted up to heaven.
 
"There's a great park I know about," I said with a kind smile., again, I noted her motion. I couldn't help but do so. Instead of returning the motion, I tried to give a verbal hint, saying, "A lot've couples hang out there, though. We go there, a few rumors might get started. I looked down at her wistfully and added, "But there're plenty of other places we can go, you just take your pick."
 
I cast my eyes downward. "If- If you're not comfortable with a few rumors gettng started, we can go somewhere else. I wouldn't mind."

I absently scuffed my foot. "I don't care if a few people talk," I whispered.

Heck, I wish what they were talking about would be true... I thought quietly.

Looking back up at him, I added rather hastilly, "But if you don't want them to talk then we can go somewhere else..." I knew full well that hope shone behind my crimson eyes, but I couldn't help that.
 
"I really don't mind either," I said softly, with none of my usual confidence. It was hard to be when you weren't sure whether or not to sweep away your broken dreams or wondering if they were even broken. That is not what I meant, I thought to myself. That is not it at all. To me, it was a rather stern warning. I shook myself out of my funk, smiled casually at her and said, "Then let's get out of here, eh? I never liked this building. Always thought it'd fall down around my ears if I stepped wrong." I wasn't that far off, the mortar was starting to rot between the bricks.
 
I smiled softly and nodded. "Lead the way then," I whispered, stepping closer to him as we walked away.

Heading to the park was nice. It felt good just to get away from the school. I found myself in a tizzy of confusion. What was he thinking? What did he want? What did I want? What would happen?
 
I led her away from campus, walking slowr than normal to stay closer to her. We passed though another, smaller park with a tree-lined grove before coming upon a wide-grassy field. Cutting through it, a creek merrily bubbled and wound a small, dirt-walled canyon. Not a bad place, not a bad place at all. Several groves were scattered around, providing dappled shade.
 
I flopped back into one of the shady areas, stretching in the grass. A bit of my stomach appeared as my T-shirt moved upwards under the stretch.

Looking up at Nathan, I sat back up. "Nathan, I- Do you- Would you- Is it-"

I realized I was stammering. Flushing a little, I took a steadying breath. "Is it strange that I feel really comfortable around you? And that I like being close to you?"
 
My eeyes flickerd towards the briefly bared flesh, then returned to her face as I sat beside her, leaning back on my hands. I plucked a stalk of wheatgrass and began idly chewing on it. Staring back at the sky, I replied hesitantly, "I... Well, I guess not... I mean, it's not like you've had a lot of human contact before, I guess... I dunno, I uess what I mean is that... Well, I care for you... A lot..."

Thoroughly embarrased, I said, "I'm sorry, Ashi. I don't mean to ramble."
 
I smiled shyly and blushed again. My hand brushed against his for a breif moment. That only made me blush more. I shifted to lean on my hands, tucking my legs back underneath me. Looking at him, I found myself searching for something to say.

Nothing was coming to me.

Finally, I managed to get something to come out. "I care about you, too, Nathan. A lot..." I didn't know what else to say. I felt like I should say something...

I flopped back into the grass again, looking up at the sky. "You make me feel so safe. You're the only one I've ever told about Mother. I don't even know why I trust you like I do, but that doesn't change the fact that I really do. I don't know how you manage to get under all my mental barriers like this, either. And the strange thing is," I added, looking over at him, "I don't think I mind..."

I realized how much I had said, blushed again, and turned my gaze back to the gathering clouds.
 
I blushed furiously as her hand touched mine. After listening to her, I flopped back to lie in the grass and rolled over to look at her. I smiled and said, "Y'know, I really do love the way your eyes look." With a nervous laugh, I apologized, saying, "Sorry. I realize that probablt wasn't what you wanted to hear. I'm not all that good with talking about the past... I tend to say something wrong every time."

With a laugh, I said, "I mean, I thought I had it rough growing up, but... Well, I guess I've been pretty lucky. I've found a great friend now, and well... Lif is good, y'know?" I spit out my grass stalk and exchanged it for another.
 
I smiled softly and rolled to look at him as well. "I think that everyone could use a good friend," I whispered, looking deeply in to his eyes. "And I think I've found the best one I could ask for..."

I bit my lower lip gently. "No one else shares your opinion. My eyes are a sinister color. Crimson is associated with pain and death, which yes, I fully realize is what I cause. Always. It's God's way of reminding me."

Locking my gaze back with his, I reached up tenativly to touch his cheek. "Your eyes, on the other hand, are perhaps the most entrancing things I've ever seen..."

I flushed again and pulled my hand back. Casting my eyes downward, I mumbled my apology.
 
I smiled and asked rhetorically, "But what color is a rose but crimson?" I laughed again, and then blushed.

Putting one arm behind my head, making the gesture somehow apologetic, I said, "****, I don't mean to be so poetic or anything." I laughed, adding, "It's just... I mean, it's something different, something new... something special..." I trailed off before saying, "And you haven't hurt me, y'know." I reached out to tip her gaze back to my own and said, "I've never shared your opinion about my eyes, though... Guess it was my dad what done that."
 
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