Ascaris
boogey
- 380
- Posts
- 16
- Years
- Age 30
- In the Medium
- Seen Aug 11, 2016
Yeah... trying my shot at a remake. The first one didn't go so well and I kinda lost interest halfway. Looking back, I saw that the story had much more potential than I gave it credit for. So I decided not to lay to waste the hours I spent planning the plot and characters and to get back at it, see if it goes somewhere. My writing was miserable a year ago when I started this story so I rewrote it entirely. There won't be a single paragraph that's similar to the original.
So yeah...
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Pokemon Infinity
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Rating: Should be PG to PG-13. Contains a little swearing, just a damn here and there though it might rise to excreta and female dog, and also mild blood violence as can be present in the prologue itself. Nothing too major.
Chapter List:
i) Prologue
Prologue
→ Battle
So yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pokemon Infinity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rating: Should be PG to PG-13. Contains a little swearing, just a damn here and there though it might rise to excreta and female dog, and also mild blood violence as can be present in the prologue itself. Nothing too major.
Chapter List:
i) Prologue
Prologue
→ Battle
'Humph… humph…,' the the enormous orange-scaled lizard groaned as it dragged its body across the battlefield. It was wounded, badly wounded, but it carried on its unsteady stride. Cuts covered its body all the way from its thick legs to its long neck. Its left wing was crumpled, lying by its side helplessly and the right wing was flapping in slow steady strokes, in a way aiding the creature in keeping balance.
The lizard pointed its long, narrow snout to survey the scene before it. The once lush, green open field, called the Safari Zone by the humans, was hardly recognisable under the scene of horror that now surrounded it. Bodies lay everywhere, the dead bodies of assorted species of Pokemon, long dried blood near their lifeless forms. An inexplicable sadness filled the great creature as it watched the corpses through narrow eyes. A few Pokemon were still alive but in bad shape. Their limbs were broken. Their bodies bruised and battered. Blood squirted out profusely out of the wounds of a few. Casualties of war; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it, it comforted itself, knowing full well that the justification was merely a passing reprieve.
It could not look for long. The beast averted its eyes and turned them, instead, to the other side of the Safari Zone. Here the scene was equally gruesome, with one major change: Human corpses took the place of Pokemon.
The lizard immediately felt a wave of giddy satisfaction. It looked around the scene eagerly. Human bodies lay everywhere; their scarlet blood seemed to be a stain on the vibrant jade of the flora. Gigantic tanks, sub-sonic fighter planes and other varied weapons of modern human warfare lay crushed around the warzone; there were scorch marks on the machines and the grass was burnt in several places, presumably the work of numerous flamethrowers and hyper beams.
The emotion came slowly, bubbling up beneath the sorrow that the Pokemon felt for the loss of its comrades. Not pure happiness but a certain kind of happiness. The satisfaction of seeing your enemies defeated. They had won! Against the odds, they had actually won!
The creature faced its remaining allies and they looked back at their leader, wide-eyed. The creatures' emotions could not be held back any longer. It let out a deafening roar and the remaining Pokemon roared back without hesitation, their voices echoing across the distant mountaintops.
Isn't much of a prologue. The original prologue was a wall of information and I took most of it out because it sounded tacky. I'm not going to explain what this particular scene signifies; you'll probably get it at the next chapter but won't understand completely it till halfway through the entire story.
I'll post the first chapter as soon as I get off my lazy butt but for now C&C would be appreciated.
The lizard pointed its long, narrow snout to survey the scene before it. The once lush, green open field, called the Safari Zone by the humans, was hardly recognisable under the scene of horror that now surrounded it. Bodies lay everywhere, the dead bodies of assorted species of Pokemon, long dried blood near their lifeless forms. An inexplicable sadness filled the great creature as it watched the corpses through narrow eyes. A few Pokemon were still alive but in bad shape. Their limbs were broken. Their bodies bruised and battered. Blood squirted out profusely out of the wounds of a few. Casualties of war; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it, it comforted itself, knowing full well that the justification was merely a passing reprieve.
It could not look for long. The beast averted its eyes and turned them, instead, to the other side of the Safari Zone. Here the scene was equally gruesome, with one major change: Human corpses took the place of Pokemon.
The lizard immediately felt a wave of giddy satisfaction. It looked around the scene eagerly. Human bodies lay everywhere; their scarlet blood seemed to be a stain on the vibrant jade of the flora. Gigantic tanks, sub-sonic fighter planes and other varied weapons of modern human warfare lay crushed around the warzone; there were scorch marks on the machines and the grass was burnt in several places, presumably the work of numerous flamethrowers and hyper beams.
The emotion came slowly, bubbling up beneath the sorrow that the Pokemon felt for the loss of its comrades. Not pure happiness but a certain kind of happiness. The satisfaction of seeing your enemies defeated. They had won! Against the odds, they had actually won!
The creature faced its remaining allies and they looked back at their leader, wide-eyed. The creatures' emotions could not be held back any longer. It let out a deafening roar and the remaining Pokemon roared back without hesitation, their voices echoing across the distant mountaintops.
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Isn't much of a prologue. The original prologue was a wall of information and I took most of it out because it sounded tacky. I'm not going to explain what this particular scene signifies; you'll probably get it at the next chapter but won't understand completely it till halfway through the entire story.
I'll post the first chapter as soon as I get off my lazy butt but for now C&C would be appreciated.
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