Pokemon Journey: Johto Region

[Pikalover10]

PG 13.
Charecter bio's-

Chapter 1: A new trainer and a new journey​

A tiny streak of light shined through the blinds of Gold's window across his eyes, rousing him from his sleep. He groggly opened his eyes and looked around as if he didn't know where he was. Finally realizing he was in his own home Gold leaped out of bed and excited for his new journey wuickly got dressed.​

He slipped on his red and white polo shirt, his black and yellow shorts, his black fingerless gloves, put on his black socks, threw on his red running shoes, and slipped on his gold necklace with the figurine of a Cyndaquil on it. He looked in the mirror on his dresser and realized his hair was a mess. He shrugged and put on his yellow and black baseball cap and grabbed his yellow knapsack.​

He threw in an extra pair of clothes, some food, some pokefood, a book, with the plastic wrapping over it still, with information on every pokemon in the Johto region, a few chapter books he hadn't read, and some gum. He threw the knapsack over his shoulder and ran out of his room, downstairs, and into the living rom next to the kitchen.​

"Bye Mom!" Gold said opening the door.​

"Now hold on mister. You need some breakfast and you haven't even grabbed your invitation yet." Gold's mom said while cooking pancakes.​

"Oh right! We having pancakes this morning mom?" he asked.​

"Yes honey. Your plate is on the table already." she said.​

"Thanks mom." Gold thanked.​

He sat down on the couch with his plate in his lap and devoured the meal consisting of three pancakes, two strips of bacon, an egg, and two pieces of toast. He put the dish on the counter and grabbed the invitation he had gotten from Professor Elm and read it again.​

Dear Gold, ​

Hello! Professor Elm here. I have sent this letter to you in hopes that you will reply to it and come get your very first pokemon. The pokemon you may choose from are Chikorita, Totodile, or Cyndaquil. Either of these pokemon make great companions and I hope to see you at my lab this Sunday! See you then!​

- Professor Elm.​

He put the letter in one of the front pockets of his knapsack and rushed out the door. After he ahd gone his mother sighed that her little baby was growing up.​

He walked down by the river right next to his house. He used to always come here and swam across the lake to a hidden secret spot of his. It was so cool! It was a cave with moss growing around it so nobody could see it and the only way to get in was through a little hole in the ground that a fully grown man could barely squeeze into. he had never told his parents and had secretly at night took lamps out there and blankets so he could sleep there when he had told his parents he was sleeping over at a friends house.​

The best part of all though to Gold was that wild pokemon sometimes lived in there. He met a bunch of Hoothoot, Sentret, and once he even met a Cyndaquil! Oh how he loved Cyndaquils.​

Gold looked around the small, humble town and saw the laboratory. He smiled and ran as fast as he could to the lab. He was greeted by a man with a funky hairdo. His hair was a light brown color. he was wearing a blue shirt, brown pants, black shoes, glasses, and a white lab coat. He smiled seeing Gold and motioned for Gold to follow him in.​

"Well. You showed up huh Gold?" Elm asked.​

"Yep. I realy want to start my journey. No need for explaining the Pokedex and how it works along with Pokeballs. I know howw they all work. I just want to get down to getting my pokemon." Gold said.​

"Fine. Here, choose one." Elm said holding out three pokeballs to Gold.​

"I want Cyndaquil." Gold said.​

Elm nodded and put two other pokeballs away and handed Gold the pokeball. Elm grabbed a red mechanical device and five red pokeballs. Gold thanked him and walked out of the laboratory ready for his adventure of a lifetime.​

END​

Chapter 2 might be up later today.​

 

[~SilverSoul]

Guess I can say so far, so good. In these type of stories, you'll need to add some major twists and excitements that happen to Gold and Silver. It's kind of a drab reading about something coming straight from a video game. It gets extremely boring after a while.

Gold got out of bed and got dressed

It is sometimes boring to read the same two verbs in one sentence. It passes off to the reader as blah, blah, blah. Change the sentence to something like," Gold leaped out of bed and quickly slapped on his clothes." or "Gold rolled out of bed sleepily and slowly got dressed."​

Juice up your sentences so they are more interesting and exciting to read. It will also show some more of how your character is feeling or their overall personality.​

He slipped on his red and white polo shirt, his black and yellow shorts, his black fingerless gloves, put on his black socks, threw on his red running shoes, and slipped on his gold necklace with the figurine of a Cyndaquil on it. He looked in the mirror on his dresser and realized his hair was a mess. He shrugged and put on his yellow and black baseball cap and grabbed his yellow knapsack.

He threw in an extra pair of clothes, some food, some pokefood, a book, with the plastic wrapping over it still, with information on every pokemon in the Johto region, a few chapter books he hadn't read, and some gum. He threw the knapsack over his shoulder and ran out of his room, downstairs, and into the living rom next to the kitchen.

Same thing as above. I actually skipped over this paragraph by mistake because my eyes refused to read the "list." Spice the paragraph up a little.​

"By mom!" Gold said opening the door.

The correct way to type this sentence would be,"Bye, Mom!" You are referring to the character and calling them "Mom", so capitalizing it is needed. If you're directing the sentence right at a character, then comma's are needed too. Like,"Hi, Bob." or "Bob, are you going to the store?"

I'll finish the review later, but this is a good start. There are some silly spelling mistakes, so make sure to read your chapter twice before submitting it. Bring out Gold's emotions as well. You're explaining his actions more which gives the reader no action at all. But otherwise it is a good start. Can't wait to read more!​

 

[pikachu200]

Cool you chose Cyndaquil

 

[Pikalover10]

K. Thanks for the info Darklink12. Pikachu200 that was really random. Anyway thank you everyone that likes my story!

 

[Pikalover10]

Chapter 2: A pokemon!​

Gold rushed through the streets to get to the first route. Even though Elm's lab was right next to the route from the map it looked like a breeze, but on foot it was difficult. Route 30 was blocked at the entrance from huge boulders that slid down from a nearby mountain. He stood in front of the huge boulders wondering what to do. It was midday now and Gold still didn't know how to get around the boulders. He couldn't climb them because they were to big and he wasn't a master at climbing, he couldn't melt it with Cyndaquil, and he couldn't swim through it.​

Then, he remembered his secret hideout was next to Route 29. He turned around and dashed for the lake next to his house. As he neared his home his mom was standing outside of their house dusting off their front porch.​

"Oh hi honey. Aren't you supposed to be gone by now, out on your journey?" his mom asked.​

"Well. I'm supposed to be, but rocks from the nearby mountain slid out and blocked the entrance to the route so I'm going around the long way." Gold replied.​

"Ok honey. Goodbye." his mom said.​

"See ya mom," he said.​

His mother nodded and walked into their house again. Gold sighed figuring that she was going to start balling her eyes out. He faced the lake and jumped into it. He dove underneath the waters surface and loved the water on his skin and clothes. His mom often wondered why Gold wanted a Cyndaquil instead of a Totodile, because of his love for the water but the reply was always the same from Gold. 'I love Cyndaquils a lot more then I do Totodiles.' he would reply. His mom would just shake her head because she still didn't understand his choice and would walk away into the kitchen. ​

The water started slowly seeping into Gold's mouth through his lips. Gold started losing the air in his lungs and he quickly swam up to the waters surface. His head popped on top of the water and he drew in a few deep breathes of air.​

A few minutes later Gold arrived to land and crawled out of the water. He sat down on the ground and took Cyndaquil's pokeball off his belt. He pressed the button in the middle and the ball grew bigger. He pressed it again and then a small blue and tan pokemon with a long nose and fire flaming out its back popped out. Gold took out his pokedex from its case and opened it. He sat there staring at the machine with a dumbfounded look on his face.​

"Why did I tell Elm I knew how to work this thing? I really don't!" Gold said aloud.​

Then a piece of paper from in a small compartment fell out. Gold picked it up and read it. It was instructions! He read it and soon found out that he could press the green button and get info on the pokemon. He tapped the green button.
"image removed"
Cyndaquil
Nature: Brave
Ability: Blaze
Gender: Male
Moveset: Tackle, Leer
Next move: Smokescreen
How soon?: Very soon
Entry: Cyndaquil, the fire mouse pokemon. Cyndaquil protects itself by flaring up the flames on its back. The flames are vigorous if the POKéMON is angry. However, if it is tired, the flames splutter fitfully with incomplete combustion.​

The Cyndaquil sitting in front of Gold smiled and jumped into his lap.​

"Cyndaquil!" it said.​

"Well hi there Cyndaquil. I'm Gold and let's think of a cool name for you.... How about Blaze?" Gold asked.​

"Cynda!" it replied.​

"Ok then. Your new name is Blaze." Gold said.​

The Cyndaquil nodded and looked to the south of the forest. Gold noticed this and looked down that way too. The sun was starting to set, and Cyndaquil wouldn't be at full power with his fire type attacks. Good thing he doesn't know any fire type attacks right now. Thought Gold to himself.​

Gold looked at Blaze, sighed, and scooped Blaze up in his arms. He started jogging down route 29.
A strange boy with red hair passed by him without a word. Gold at the time thought nothing of this and kept on jogging. ​

Then, something happened that made Gold's spine shiver up his body. Someone sent a loud, shrilling scream into the air. Gold spun around to face the way the scream had come from. He stood there pondering if he should help or if it was a trap. He sighed and dashed into the forest in front of him. Blaze was curled up in his arms very tired.​

Gold dashed to the right and then to the left trying to dodge tree branches. Then Gold soon came to a clearing. In the clearing he saw a bunch of owls flying around a little girl who was on her knees and was holding her head.​

"Please help me. I'm deathly afraid of Hoothoot." she said.​

Gold nodded and took out his new pokedex. He pointed it at one of the Hoothoot and pressed the green button.
"image removed"
Hoothoot.
Nature: Lonely
Ability: Keen Eye
Gender: Female
Move set: Tackle, Growl
Next move: Foresight
How soon?: Soon.
Entry: Hoothoot, the owl pokemon. It always stands on one foot. Even when attacked, it does not brace itself using both feet.​

"Hey little girl! All they want to do is play. Every single one of their natures is lonely
so---" the little girl cut Gold off.​

"I don't care! Just get them off me!" she screamed.​

Gold nodded and set Blaze on the ground. Blaze yawned and looked at the owls.​

Gold kneeled down beside Blaze. "You see that one buddy?" Gold asked pointing to one of them. Blaze nodded. "K. Now use Tackle on it." ​

Blaze nodded and then charged the unexpecting Hoothoot. Blaze jumped and hit the Hoothoot, but caused it to accidentally fly into the little girl. The little girl freaked out and screamed at the top of her lungs. Gold clamped his hands around his ears and Blaze started running around in circles.​

"Tackle the Hoothoot off the girl!" Gold said.​

Blaze could barely hear Gold over the little girls screams. He slowly trotted over to the Hoothoot, got into the right position, and knocked the owl off of her. Blaze landed into the little girl's lap. The girl stopped screaming and smiled. There was an opening in the ring of Hoothoot around her. She quickly pushed Blaze off of her and scampered away into the forest.​

The Hoothoot looked in the direction the girl had ran away and they slowly flew to the opposite direction, all but the one Gold and Blaze were battling. Now the Hoothoot looked mad.​

"Tackle." Gold said.​

Blaze got his feet into position and then he trotted slowly at first and then sped up as he went towards the Hoothoot. The owl flew towards Blaze with her head down a little and they rammed each other. Blaze flew back a few feet and so did the Hoothoot. The Hoothoot, realizing it might be captured looked at Gold, then at Blaze, and quickly flew away in the opposite direction.​

Gold sat down beside Blaze. "That sucks! I was gonna try and capture it." Gold complained.​

​

​

 

[pikachu200]

Oh that didn't end well hope Gold catches the pokemon

 

[Pikalover10]

Chapter 3: A New Friend​

It had been an exhausting and terrible first day as a trainer. Gold had finally managed to hobble into Cherrygrove City. He noticed out of the corner of his eye the Pokemon Center. He looked down at Blaze who was currled up in Gold's arms. Gold smiled and walked into the Pokemon Center.​

The Center was big. It had yellow tiles for flooring and the walls were a tangerinish color. There were posters about the Pokemon League everywhere. A bunch of kids were running down two hallways with a sign between the two hallways with two arrows pointing in two different directions on it. One pointed to the hallway on the right saying 'bedrooms' and the other one pointed to the hallway on the left and said 'mess hall'.​

Gold walked up to the front counter as a young lady spun around in her chair to face him. She had pink hair and purple eyes. She wore a nurse's uniform, nurse's shoes, and a nurse's hat.​

"Nurse Joy from Cherrygrove City Pokemon Center. How may I help you?" she asked.​

"Oh. Um. I was wondering if you could heal my pokemon and if I could get a room please." Gold asked.​

"Of course! I just need your pokemon and here's your room key." she said holding out a key on a chain for him.​

Gold set Blaze down on the ground in front of Nurse Joy. He yawned and jumped into Nurse Joy's arms. Nurse Joy looked at Blaze and smiled and then looked at Gold like he was an idiot.​

"This is the only pokemon you have? Ha! Most every trainer catches atleast one other pokemon besides their starter on the first route. You must stink as a trainer!" she said insultingly.​

Then, from her rude outburst everyone in the room looked at him. Gold quickly took the key from her hands as he stared at his feet.​

"I tried after saving a little girl from a herd of Hoothoot." he muttered and then left for the mess hall.​

Nurse Joy looked at the spot were Gold had previously been as if she had a made a dire mistake. "You were the one who saved Mindy? My daughter who is deathly afraid of Hoothoot?" she asked.​

"Yep." Gold said after hearing her and then disappeared down the hallway.​

Nurse Joy sighed and walked into the backroom with Blaze in her arms. Gold opened the mess hall's doors and saw a huge line for the food. He sighed and stepped in line so he could get some food as soon as possible. He stood there for a few minutes reflecting on how awful the day had been.​

Then, he noticed that the kid in front of him looked awefully familiar. He had red hair and was wearing a red and black long sleeved shirt, grey pants, black and red shoes, and was wearing a silver necklace with a figurine of a Totodile at the end of it. Gold realized then and there that it was the same kid he passed by along route 29.​

"Hey. You're the kid I passed by on route 29." Gold said to him.​

"So?" the kid replied turning slightly around.​

"Well. I just thought it was a coincidence and, um. Oh! By the way my name is Gold and what's yours?" Gold asked.​

"Who cares?" the kid asked loudly.​

Then everyone in the mess hall turned in line and in their seats to look at them. Gold sighed wishing he would just disappear of the face of the planet. Then, the kid in front of him grabbed his tray and left to sit down.​

"What ya want to eat kid?" the chef asked.​

"Oh. I would like two hotdogs, one large french fry, and one large soda please." Gold said.​

"Ok. Here ya go." the chef said putting Gold's food on his tray.​

Gold nodded and then walked over to an empty table and sat down. He devoured his food quickly as a bunch of people passed by him but nobody stopped to sit next to him. Until finally, a young girl looking about his age sat down across from him smiling. She had blue hair and crystal pink eyes. She wore a red tank top, a small white jacket top, black and white shorts with a pink outlining, black and white shoes, and a necklace that had a greenish crystal color to it with a figurine of a Chikorita at the end.​

"Hi. I'm Crystal." she said.​

"Gold. Why are you sitting here?" Gold asked.​

"Oh. Well I heard you didn't catch a pokemon along route 29." Crystal said.​

"Look. If you're here to insult me then please leave." Gold said figuring that's what she was going to do.​

"Oh no. I just wanted to let you know that the kid who was in front of you in line, his name is Silver. He doesn't have any other pokemon except for his starter which is a Totodile. I don't have any pokemon either except for a Chikorita." she said.​

"Oh. Wait a second. How do you know all of this stuff about Silver?" Gold asked.​

"Uh. Well. He is my older brother. He's 14 and I'm 12." she said.​

"Oh. We're the same age, Crystal. Anyway I need to go pick up my Cyndaquil, Blaze, from Nurse Joy and should probably be going to bed soon. Maybe I'll see you around." Gold said.​

"Ok. See ya later, Gold." Crystal replied.​

Gold smiled and left the mess hall. He came into the main room to see Nurse Joy coming out of the backroom with Blaze. She put Blaze on the ground. Blaze yawned and ran over to Gold and then jumped into Gold's arms. Gold smiled at Blaze and then walked up to his room.​

A few minutes later he found his rom and unlocked it. He opened his bedroom door up and found two beds, a lamp, a computer desk, and a computer all in there. As well as an unlucky surprise too. Silver was laying in one of the beds.​

"What are you doing here?" Gold asked slinging his knapsack onto the other bed.​

"We're roommates." Silver said reading a book.​

"Oh." Gold said.​

Gold opened his knapsack up and pulled out his yellow shirt and black shorts he used as pajamas and quickly changed into them. Blaze was already asleep in Gold's knapsack. Gold yawned and crawled underneath the covers of his bed and laid his knapsack gently on the floor. He rolled over so that his back faced Silver and he quickly fell into a deep sleep.​

 

[Clouddyl]

Wow, it's really good :)

I noticed two mistakes in the first chapter

Dear Max,

​

Shouldn't it be dear Gold? Also, the other one was just a spelling mistake, I like the fic so far though :D​

 

[Pikalover10]

Thanks Clouddyl. Everyone Chapter 4 will most certaintly be up tonight and if not then tomorrow!

 

[The black Vulpix]

WOW! It's good so far. I was wondering how did you get the trainer cards on there? Be sure you keep on it.And ALWAYS check spelling

 

[ANARCHit3cht]

The mods, they don't like you messing with the font colors. The reason is that people might not be able to see it, so they wish you to keep it at the default.

Blaze got his feet into position and then he trotted slowly at first and then sped up as he went towards the Hoothoot. The owl flew towards Blaze with her head down a little and they rammed each other. Blaze flew back a few feet and so did the Hoothoot. The Hoothoot, realizing it might be captured looked at Gold, then at
Blaze, and quickly flew away in the opposite direction.

Blaze got his feet into position and then he trotted slowly at first and then sped up as he went towards the Hoothoot. The owl flew towards Blaze with her head down a little and they rammed each other. Blaze flew back a few feet and so did the Hoothoot. The Hoothoot, realizing it might be captured looked at Gold, then at Blaze, and quickly flew away in the opposite direction.

Notice the difference between the two boxes? Just a spacing issue, but it makes it easier to read if it is all correct. Like Dark_Link12 said, spice it up some.

EDIT: the black vulpix, just a note.. you should find mistakes and then tell him, rather than asking a question. I will answer you, he went to Pokecharms, and then made a card, photobucketed-or some other image site- and then pasted the code.

 

[Pikalover10]

Ok. Thanks Losst for the info and especially on the color one. Vulpix you need atleast 10 or 15 posts to post the trainer cards anywhere from www.pokecharms.com

 

[TurtleKing]

Seems a bit cliche for the moment, but that's how all fanfics start out until the author learns to branch out from these common cliches. Otherwise, you're doing a good job so far, keep up the good work. The only thing that I don't agree with, personally, is Silver and Crystal being brother and sister. Just doesn't seem right to me, I dunno. Anyway, keep it up and I'ma follow this fic and give me opinions and what-I-likes.

 

[MaxTheMaster]

I like your story so far, but don't cheat with simple letters. Like replacing Ok, with K. That just shows that your only in a hurry to get it done quickly. Try to take your time, as this is your story and you should put all your effort into making as close to perfect as you can.

Very good ideas though as I do like where you are going with this story.

 

[Pikalover10]

Thanks MaxtheMaster. The only reason I replaced Ok with K is becasue that's what the character is supposed to be saying. Thats it.....Chapter 4 will hopefully be up today!