[Pokémon] Pokemon lightgold. Garison's Shunarr adventure E10

[Garison]

This is meant to be kid friendly, but may contain Extreme Cartoon violence.

Shunarr is a region in the pokemon world where double battles are more vaulued than in any other place. The proffeser there was prof. Silvermach. In this adventure, Travel through the Shunarr region with Garison, a fifteen year old boy with an ambition to become a pokemon rescuer. He will be accompanied by his 12 year old neighbor Julia, his 5 year old brother Mike, and his 10 year old sister Maiya. Join them as they explore mysterious pokemon, enculding the new mysterious Light type, discover new Mega evolutions, battle against the arrogant rival, Baser amd the evil team darkness nd more


Chapter one the beging


Our adventure begins at billjor city school. Garison and Mike Silvermach, along with their friends, Julia and Miya, are just heading out the school with excitment.

Garison: I cannot wait to get a pokemon
Mike:neither can I
Miya: I am really hoping for a grass type
Julia:we should be at the prof lab soon.

So our four friends went to the labrotory. However like almost every time , the school bully, Baser, was already their

Baser: Hey there Garrison.
Garrison: Hi.... hey what is that
Baser these are mudkip and Chikorita
Mudkip: Mud
Chikorita: chika
Garison: *sarcastic* nice pokemon


Then Prof. Silvermach came to present Garison, Mike, Julia, and Miya with their pokemon

Mike recived Squirtle, and Eevee
Julia received Pikachu and Eevee
Miya recived Bulbasaur and Eevee
And Garison received Charmander and (if you have not guessed) Eevee


So our friend were off after they received their Pokedexs and poke balls. Their Moms kissed them good bye and they were off on their journey

Garison: um guys, my Eevee does not like his pokeball
Julia: Pikachua (for that is her name) does not like it either.

 

[bobandbill]

I'm sorry, but I'll be closing this as it doesn't adhere to some rules of the Fan Fiction section:

So you've decided to upload your story here. Awesome, and we encourage you to do so, but please read through the rules first. This way, no complications will occur. Failure to comply by these rules will result in a closed thread.

Make Your Story Readable:
This means to follow the English grammar rules to the best of your ability. No one expects you to have a perfect story, but if the story is filled with tons of mistakes that clearly shows you didn't proofread or put any real thought into it, your story will be closed. Let your story or chapter sit for a day before you proofread it and upload it.

Only Well Written Script Fics Are Allowed:
Script fics are commonly seen as an easier way to write a story. Unless you script fic is more than just dialogue, it will be closed. It's okay if you use the script format for dialogue, but please include narration and description.

Given you have gone for the script format, you'd need to include more in it. It can't be just dialogue - there needs to be some description of the setting, how the characters talk, and what they do as well. For example:

Garison: (Skipping, speaking quickly) I cannot wait to get a pokemon!
Mike grins at Garison.
Mike: Neither can I.

Notice that I've also fixed a few simple things, like finishing sentences with punctuation and capitalising that 'i'. Be sure to run your story through a spell/grammar checker and proofread, as silly mistakes like those will just distract readers from the story.

Even with a script fic, you'd still need to use some description. Otherwise stuff like this:

Mike recived Squirtle, and Eevee
Julia received Pikachu and Eevee
Miya recived Bulbasaur and Eevee
And Garison received Charmander and (if you have not guessed) Eevee

Is somewhat boring to read - A received this and that, B received that and this, etc. What makes Mike different to Julia (or A different to B) and interesting as characters? How do the trainers react to getting their very first Pokémon? And what about the Pokémon as well - what are their personalities like? Is any of them aloof, perhaps? Or just as excited? Include these details, so we can better imagine and relate to them.

When you apply those revisions feel free to post again, just make sure to keep the rules in mind. Good luck!