Pokemon Princess

Gymleader Brandon

Water Gym******
  • 10
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    16
    Years
    • Age 31
    • Ohio
    • Seen Apr 16, 2009
    Prologue:

    Princess Elizabeth was the princess of the beautiful kingdom of Hydra. Hydra was a land with the purest rivers and the greenest grass and the bluest skies. It was the most beautiful place anybody could ever live. The castle the princess lived in was huge with many rooms of many different rare and costly artifacts.
    Elizabeth's father Joseph, was very protective of her. He had guards around her all day. Elizabeth was special because she had a pokeball given to her at birth by her mother who had a device that only lets Elizabeth work it made onto it. Inside the Pokeball was Mew. Her mother had died recently and Elizabeth was feeling lonely without her. Mew was Elizabeths best friend.
    Team Rocket had assassins going in day after day to try to obtain the pokeball from the princess. Countless mens lives were lost in protecting the ball.
    Until one day when the kingdom would fall...
     
    Chapter 1: Captured
    "Sigh... It is boring in this castle. I need an adventure without my fathers protection." BOOM! "What was that guard?!" "Let me check miss." "Princess follow me to a safe point in the basement." "No my father is up there and he will die if I leave!"
    The princess broke free from the guards tight grip and ran up the pure white marble staircases to the throne room. "Let him go! Leave my father alone!" "Hand over the Mew and he will live princess" said Giovanni. "Never!" "Fine then watch him die..."
    A long sharp steel knife was drawn from under Giovanni's suit and he plunged the knife deep into Josehph's throat and blood shot out and then trickled down. "Want me to stop?! Hand over the Mew" "Stop! I can't watch! But you can never have Mew" "Hm... Fine" Giovanni plunged the knife into his heart. Again blood shot out then trickled down his body. Joseph shout to Elizabeth "Don't ever give up Mew princess..." Then he fell dead and Giovanni stood on him with one foot and laughed demonically. "This is what you get for not complying with Team Rocket! Now guards take the princess down into the cellar and lock her up. The castle is ours."
     
    Chapter 2: Negotiations
    KNOCK KNOCK on the large steel door to the basement. The door then bust open and Giovanni stepped in. "Princess I only ask you release that Mew and hand it to me and I will set you free." "Never, you killed my father. Mew is my only friend left in the world." "Fine I see you are still angered, I will come back in a week with a proposal for you and I will give you this week to think of what to do with that Mew to benefit yourself. Just so you know I will have a guard bring you drinks and meals 3 times a day so if theres a knock it means there will be a meal and drink slipping through the doggy door down here. Shower and bathroom is in that door although I am sure you know since this is your castle. Good night princess."
    "Come out Mew. Mew I need your help to escape here in 6 days before Giovanni comes back. We need to get to my brother in the neighboring region of Kanto who has a castle in the mountains. Well since I'm bored for tonight lets see whats around here, maybe something can help me get out." The walls were a very dull grey and it kept a lot of light from entering the room. The floors were cold steel tiles. Around the room were shelves filled with old books and medicines for the family. Mew reached for a book pulled it out and the title read Pokemon Mythology" "This sounds interesting Mew"
    The book was very old and had many torn pages. On the cover was a weird Pokemon that somehow looked familiar. In the table of contents there was lists of Legendary Pokemon. On page 35 was Mew. "Well lets read about you Mew!"
    Mew, the rumored first Pokemon to ever have roamed the Earth. It is known as the ancestor of all Pokemon. Some text was scribbled out and to hard to read then. Mew is known for its special shape shifting abilities which is why it is hard to spot because it can become anything it wants to hide from predators. "Thats it Mew! Do you know how to do this? This could be our ticket to escaping. Ive got a plan!"
     
    First off, could you please change the colors of the font? It's rather difficult to read red font on a red skin.

    You should also remember that hitting the Enter button twice creates a new paragraph online. So when you want to create a new paragraph (when someone speaks, or when changing subjects), that's what you do.

    That's really all I can see so far for suggestions on your story. Like I said, it is rather difficult for me to read the colorful font.
     
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