[Pokémon] Relic

[uponelevel]

This work as far as I know is rated E.

Episode 1: Relic
My name is Relic I am 15 years of age, I was brought into this world in the Forest call home. For so long has passed, I think I can call it my grave as well. I was not raised by people of my species, I was raised by the creatures in this forest. I would overhear the passerby, they would refer to them as "Pokémon". These "Pokémon" have taught me every survival strategy I will ever need. A hoard of mankey taught me how to fight, even though in sparring sessions they would go too far. In the pond, the poliwag and goldeen taught me how to swim, even teaching me how to use water gun to an extent (usually just spitting out water I held in my mouth), as I am not a Pokémon myself. The chatot I credit with my ability to speak fluent English. But the next Pokémon is one I owe my life to: luxray.
I really don't remember too many things from the early years of my existence. Aside from silhouettes of their figure I cannot tell who they are. I am certain I was left alone from the beginning, and though I do not remember my parents I do remember the fright of the cold and bitter soil they left me on. The day I opened my eyes for the first time, though I had only been in the world for a few days I knew I was going to depart just as soon. The soil shook and I was sinking in slowly, cry and cry but not an answer. I remember nothing else but two piercing red eyes looking at me and soon it all went blank. I was saved by that creature, that Pokémon I know as luxray. As I grew older it gave me general guidance, it was more of a parent than my bearers ever were. Luxray was powerful, taking down many intruding Pokémon and defending the Pokémon of the forest from disaster. Luxray was the most powerful Pokémon in the world… We were all safe and protected… and happy… until now.
A group of humans wandered into the forest, at first I thought they were harmless. Of course I could never be too cautious so I went closer to listen to them. There was three of them, all of them were dressed in pitch black, but their face was visible.
"So this is where it is at?" A human with red eyes said
"Yes, that special luxray is in this forest. Thanks to eye witness accounts we can get to work." A human with a pair of obscuring dark glasses said.
"Why are we wearing all of this dark stuff? It looks cliché to me." A human with blue eyes said.
"Must I explain this too, didn't you listen at the briefing!? Luxray can see us from a mile away with its x-ray eyes, but wearing these dark colors will make us harder to detect. Making its capture easier" The dark glasses one responded.
"Right, sorry boss." The blue eyes one says, sighing with embarrassment.
(capture? Are these one of those "trainers" I hear about from the chatot? Luxray doesn't mind capturing in the forest as it is natural and the trainers take care of the Pokémon but… These people look suspicious.) I try to get away to tell the others however… I can't move.. Just like all those years before I am sinking once more! I can't cry for help or they will notice, but if I don't do anything I will perish! The soil runs up my legs getting to my thigh. Suddenly I feel a strong tackling force on my side, luxray! I am pushed out of the sinking soil but the thud made by the tackle was heard by the humans. Luxray looks at me seriously, almost as if saying "run away."
"Go gengar! Use Mean Look!" The one with the shaded glasses says. Luxray stops, not moving and so still as if it is not breathing either. "We have you now… gengar use Shadow Ball!" I see the void in ball form, and the shadow Pokémon lets it loose on luxray. I see luxray take it directly, and the one in shaded glasses turns to his companions "get the net! A Pokéball won't work on it!" The burst of voiding color kept hitting luxray. Each time one of the shadow balls hit light itself was gone. Then… its eyes dim… Luxray fainted?! And I just stood here doing nothing to help it?! I run to it but the human stops me by throwing me on the ground. A silver lining net swoops over luxray and they take it away… The humans flee with luxray in their hands… And I… White out…

To Be Continued...

 

[uponelevel]

Episode Two: A Team.
Relic lays on the forest ground, whited-out from what happened. Relic had a brown cloth that luxray had given to him months ago which a leavanny had tailored into clothes for him (This process was repeated over the course of being raised). The cloth had become a shirt, and leggings. Relic has no idea where luxray gets all the clothing, but he was always happy that he had something to wear.
"Hello? Are you ok? Can you hear me?" A voice gently travels into Relic's ears… "Oh no… Looks like you have had a rough encounter." This voice, Relic concludes that it is a person's voice. Relic opens his eyes, he sees a girl with pink hair looking at him worryingly. "You're awake!" Relic jumps up to his feet, holding his fists up,
"Are you with the people that took luxray?!" Relic bursts out with anger. The Pink haired girl jumps back, and falls next to a tree.
"No, I would never take a Pokémon- ever! I'm not your enemy ok, I don't know what happened but I am not your enemy!" Relic puts his fists down, he should have never threatened someone out of anger. The tense atmosphere is broken when the girl introduces herself, "M-my name is Ever… Ever Joy. what's your name?" Relic notices the tone she spoke in was soft and gentle, he responded to her,

"My name is Relic, I don't know my last name." They stay in silence once more, nothing but the sounds of the forest fill their hearing. From the trees breathing to the air dancing, to the water swimming underground. Once again, Ever breaks the silence,
"You said something about having a luxray being stolen from you. Do you know anything about the people that did this?" Relic shakes his head,
"Besides the fact that they were dressed in black, nothing at all." Realizing that their conversation had gone on for long enough Relic stood up. "I have to tell the others… And I will save luxray, right now I need a team…" Relic began to walk away, his feet shuffling in the dried up leaves on the ground. Little did Relic know was that Ever is following him. As she follows Relic she thinks to herself who these "others" are. Finally, after a long while of walking Relic stops in his tracks. Ever hides behind a thick tree, when suddenly she hears the faint sound of Pokémon, many of them. She sees Pokémon like shroomish and sunkern walk up to Relic, as well as pidgey and mankey. Relic tells them what happened, not sugarcoating anything, giving the information to them as equals. "That's what happened, so I need you to help me find luxray. It is ok if you do not want to go, but please consider. " The Pokémon looked afraid, many of them backed out. However one little green Pokémon walked up. This Pokémon was young and probably had no knowledge of what it was going to do, but enough bravery that it was willing to do it. This Pokémon was small and looked like a seed. Its name was budew. "So, you want to join me little guy?" The tiny seedling nodded its head in excitement. "Alright, then we will travel together to find luxray." Relic smiles and turns to the other Pokémon, "you be safe while I'm gone, I promise I will return with luxray." Ever is astonished at the communication being made with these wild Pokémon. So astonished that she fell over, making a large thud that caught the attention of all the Pokémon, Relic simply shook his head. "I know you followed me here, so why were you hiding? Luxray taught me to use all my senses to the largest extent, I know when someone is following me."
"I just… I want to help you." She said confidently. Relic smiles again,
"I guess it is ok if you follow along, just don't do anything that would get in my way."
"No, of course not. In fact I want to start helping right away with this." Ever pulled out a small sphere, red and white with a button in the middle. She pressed the button and it enlarged. She handed it to Relic. "You should catch the budew that's coming with you. It is safer that way." Relic looked confusingly at the device. He has seen them being used before in the forest (which luxray allowed to happen as it was a natural co-existence with humans and Pokémon) but he has never held one, let alone know how to use one. "It's simple actually, you just toss or throw the Pokéball at a Pokémon and it opens up. This model isn't the best since a Pokémon can break out easily, but since budew volunteered it will be easy, so just throw it and the capture is complete." Relic nods and looks over to budew.
"Are you ready companion?" The budew nods excitingly, raring to go on an adventure. Relic tosses the Pokéball, it flies in the air like an air-born pidgey. It connects with budew and it goes into the Pokéball. The ball stays in the air but then falls and bounces on the ground. (1) Relic watches as the Pokéball bumps around. (2) The other Pokémon look at the ball with interest. (3) Ever notices the button turning slightly red. ~click~ the ball stopped moving.
"You did it Relic, you caught the budew!" She runs to the Pokéball and hands it to him. "To call budew out, you just throw the ball out and it comes out, to return it back into the ball just press the button as it faces it. Easy right?" Relic nods. He knows it will be a long journey but he will do what it takes
"I will find you and the people who took you luxray… I will return you back here… Nothing matters more to me now, besides that."

(Who were the people who took luxray? Why is Ever so kind to Relic? Will they ever save luxray? find out in future installments of Pokemon Relic)

To Be Continued

 

[Rediamond]

Hi,

First of all, you should add spaces between paragraphs. Hit the enter key twice when you're ready for a new one. Otherwise everything just runs together in one giant blob of text.

I never do grammar-prose reviews when just catching up with a story, but you could use a beta reader to look over your grammar before you post as some of it wasn't quite excellent.

You could really afford to do longer chapters with longer, more elaborate scenes. Spell things out in scenes rather than a brief note that something happened/was being felt. For example, chapter one could have introduced Budew and Luxray in greater detail and set up the protagonist's life so there would be greater emotional depth when it got torn apart. It would also help introduce character's personalities more so people could get attached to someone, rather than just a plot, and keep reading. That also requires longer scenes and more direct portrayal of something rather than just mentioning it happened.

With that said, I like some of what you're doing here. I normally don't care much for purple prose but here it's done in such a way as to establish the protagonist's bond with nature. And Budew is a fairly nice/original starter.