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Seduction in B minor

Finglonger

Leper messiah
  • 329
    Posts
    20
    Years
    er yeah never been to keen up on poetry, but I wrote this one about a friend of mine...meh I thought it was mildly good. But you know one can never truly guage the success of ones own work. So yeah...

    Seduction in B minor

    The curtains draw; amidst an ornate velvet sheet
    A welcomed shade from daylights heat
    Tenor sings in slumber blanket sheets, so night's
    moonbeams dance in seductive lights.

    Basses sing low, they linger, dark repose
    the sounds embrace, mingling as the music grows.
    Crescendo!Crescendo! the Maestro cries,
    altos sigh, love spread in sultry skies.
    Strings tussle 'neath the moonlit night,
    with winds of which they used to fight.
    She cries...night's climax is her clasp
    retold in melody, opulence, begins to gasp

    The curtain slowly closes with a hush,
    eyes alight, her face begins to blush
     
    er yeah sorry for the double post, but I would really appreciate it if someone would tell me what they think about this. Even if you don't like it, it doesn't really bother me, normally I wouldn't be so persistent but theres someone I want to give this to and I want to make sure it sounds alright...
     
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