- 19
- Posts
- 16
- Years
- In your closet ;]
- Seen May 30, 2010
So guess what? After looking over this fic at another forum, I decided that a re-write was needed. This is it's third revision.
This is PG-13 for occasional swearing, violent themes, gore, teenage ansgt, and some other PG-13ish stuff XD
Here it is:
Prologue
A stationary golden orb in the clear blue sky shone intense beams of light. The putrid smell of sweat was fresh in the humid atmosphere of the canyon. The wind stirred sand and grit, piercing the skin of the group of petrified people. At least a thousand people stood over the jagged cliffs of the canyon, all murmuring quietly. The mild sandstorm blew around the crowd viciously, adding to the tense sensation being felt by the multitude of people.
A poor soul decided to vomit, a grain of sand pierced his eye, making him stumble backwards. He slipped and fell off the cliff and into the river of blood.
There was a hushed silence as the scream echoed in the minds of the spectators.
And suddenly, chaos ensued.
The winds increased in velocity, stirring up a wild sandstorm. People were screaming in agony as grit and sand struck their limbs. Some people accidentally slipped and fell into the river, adding more viscosity to the darker shade of red to the water. As the sandstorm gradually subsided, the screams became more audible. The muffled cries of the mourners were drowned in the screaming echoes of distress due to the pin prick feeling of sand hitting bare skin.
"Get up!"
There was an abrupt silence. A cloaked figure appeared out of nowhere in particular, seemingly emerging from thin air. A simple hood obscured his face as he stood in front of the developing disorder. He faced the crowd of a thousand, give or take a few persons, his back facing the river valley below on the edge of the cliff.
"The Reincarnation has begun!"
There was an outbreak of murmurs as the crowd gave the man suspicious stares. After a few minutes, a woman with unbelievably bright pink hair emerged from the crowd, her hands on her hips.
"Like, what are you talking about? We so totally don't get what you're like talking about."
"Fools! You think that I broke you out of prison solely out of the generosity of my heart? You are all Cipher agents, you are all part of history. You are the most feared and organized syndicate in the world! But, why try to only rule the world whilst there are other ancient secrets that we have never bestowed upon? We must explore the secrets of the world before we can inherit it!"
"You're ****ing nuts, dude!" someone shouted from the crowd.
"Cipher is dead," another added in, also emerging from the crowd. He shifted his sunglasses and then ruffled his messy red hair. "Cipher will stay dead, and it should stay that way."
"Cipher is not dead, in fact, it is very much alive. It only seems dead because Cipher was run by two, fat, power-hungry and sadistic old men. When the time comes, we will bring the world to its knees!"
"Shut the hell up, you crazy bastard!" someone shouted from the crowd, too emerging.
"Naps, that was so totally rude," scolded the pink haired woman.
"Shut up, Lovrina. . .How dare you insult Masters Evice and Greevil?!" Naps rambled on, waving his arms frantically in rage. "I will always be loyal to them and not to some freak who thinks he can revive Cipher! It is dead, but its leaders will always be respected!"
An ominous silence was followed right after the former Cipher agent's remark. The wind began to pick up again, whipping sand everywhere as the man raised his arms. His hood came down, revealing a pair of glowering purple eyes and a narrow and pale face. His long purple hair was being blown backwards by the sudden gusts of winds.
"Then you shall be loyal to them in hell!"
A purple aura enveloped itself around Naps' weary frame. Naps was startled as he slowly began to lift from the sandy ground. There was an outbreak of murmurs, combined, loud enough to drown out Lovrina's cries of protest.
"W-What are you doing?!" Naps cried, looking at the man in utter shock. "S-Stop it! Let me down!"
"My name is Divinity," the man simply spoke, smirking at him, "when Hades asks you who sent you to hell, don't hesitate to tell him my name."
And with a laugh, Naps was sent flying off of the cliff and into the canyon. There was a sickening scream as a loud splash was heard. Lovrina screamed, running toward the Divinity.
"You evil, bad, bad, naughty man!" she shouted, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You killed my brother! Like you are so totally like gonna pay!"
Lovrina rushed toward the cloaked man, right arm sticking out to clothesline him, but the same purple aura enveloped around her body. She shrieked in fear, and was sent hurling down the canyon toward her death. As before, there was a hushed silence; all the former Cipher agents were staring at Divinity in fear.
"He is the symbol of our return! Our sacrifice! Anyone who does not want to partake in our return, please, do tell me now."
No one dared respond.
All of a sudden, purple auras began to envelop themselves around many people in the crowd. They were all lifted in the air and thrown into the canyon, emitting an eerie serenade of screams.
The crowd's numbers were literally cut in half, everyone was disgruntled and shocked at the massacre performed by Divinity.
"I have weeded out the weak, they are dead because of their blatant ignorance and fear. Fear is not a natural feeling, it is learned. I can sense your fear, but you are not cowards like the beings who died just a few moments ago. You are the chosen, you will inherit the world. This is Cipher's return.
This is our Reincarnation."
Any suggestions? Crit is welcome, feel free to beat me if you see any grammatical errors ;D
This is PG-13 for occasional swearing, violent themes, gore, teenage ansgt, and some other PG-13ish stuff XD
Here it is:
Prologue
A stationary golden orb in the clear blue sky shone intense beams of light. The putrid smell of sweat was fresh in the humid atmosphere of the canyon. The wind stirred sand and grit, piercing the skin of the group of petrified people. At least a thousand people stood over the jagged cliffs of the canyon, all murmuring quietly. The mild sandstorm blew around the crowd viciously, adding to the tense sensation being felt by the multitude of people.
A poor soul decided to vomit, a grain of sand pierced his eye, making him stumble backwards. He slipped and fell off the cliff and into the river of blood.
There was a hushed silence as the scream echoed in the minds of the spectators.
And suddenly, chaos ensued.
The winds increased in velocity, stirring up a wild sandstorm. People were screaming in agony as grit and sand struck their limbs. Some people accidentally slipped and fell into the river, adding more viscosity to the darker shade of red to the water. As the sandstorm gradually subsided, the screams became more audible. The muffled cries of the mourners were drowned in the screaming echoes of distress due to the pin prick feeling of sand hitting bare skin.
"Get up!"
There was an abrupt silence. A cloaked figure appeared out of nowhere in particular, seemingly emerging from thin air. A simple hood obscured his face as he stood in front of the developing disorder. He faced the crowd of a thousand, give or take a few persons, his back facing the river valley below on the edge of the cliff.
"The Reincarnation has begun!"
There was an outbreak of murmurs as the crowd gave the man suspicious stares. After a few minutes, a woman with unbelievably bright pink hair emerged from the crowd, her hands on her hips.
"Like, what are you talking about? We so totally don't get what you're like talking about."
"Fools! You think that I broke you out of prison solely out of the generosity of my heart? You are all Cipher agents, you are all part of history. You are the most feared and organized syndicate in the world! But, why try to only rule the world whilst there are other ancient secrets that we have never bestowed upon? We must explore the secrets of the world before we can inherit it!"
"You're ****ing nuts, dude!" someone shouted from the crowd.
"Cipher is dead," another added in, also emerging from the crowd. He shifted his sunglasses and then ruffled his messy red hair. "Cipher will stay dead, and it should stay that way."
"Cipher is not dead, in fact, it is very much alive. It only seems dead because Cipher was run by two, fat, power-hungry and sadistic old men. When the time comes, we will bring the world to its knees!"
"Shut the hell up, you crazy bastard!" someone shouted from the crowd, too emerging.
"Naps, that was so totally rude," scolded the pink haired woman.
"Shut up, Lovrina. . .How dare you insult Masters Evice and Greevil?!" Naps rambled on, waving his arms frantically in rage. "I will always be loyal to them and not to some freak who thinks he can revive Cipher! It is dead, but its leaders will always be respected!"
An ominous silence was followed right after the former Cipher agent's remark. The wind began to pick up again, whipping sand everywhere as the man raised his arms. His hood came down, revealing a pair of glowering purple eyes and a narrow and pale face. His long purple hair was being blown backwards by the sudden gusts of winds.
"Then you shall be loyal to them in hell!"
A purple aura enveloped itself around Naps' weary frame. Naps was startled as he slowly began to lift from the sandy ground. There was an outbreak of murmurs, combined, loud enough to drown out Lovrina's cries of protest.
"W-What are you doing?!" Naps cried, looking at the man in utter shock. "S-Stop it! Let me down!"
"My name is Divinity," the man simply spoke, smirking at him, "when Hades asks you who sent you to hell, don't hesitate to tell him my name."
And with a laugh, Naps was sent flying off of the cliff and into the canyon. There was a sickening scream as a loud splash was heard. Lovrina screamed, running toward the Divinity.
"You evil, bad, bad, naughty man!" she shouted, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You killed my brother! Like you are so totally like gonna pay!"
Lovrina rushed toward the cloaked man, right arm sticking out to clothesline him, but the same purple aura enveloped around her body. She shrieked in fear, and was sent hurling down the canyon toward her death. As before, there was a hushed silence; all the former Cipher agents were staring at Divinity in fear.
"He is the symbol of our return! Our sacrifice! Anyone who does not want to partake in our return, please, do tell me now."
No one dared respond.
All of a sudden, purple auras began to envelop themselves around many people in the crowd. They were all lifted in the air and thrown into the canyon, emitting an eerie serenade of screams.
The crowd's numbers were literally cut in half, everyone was disgruntled and shocked at the massacre performed by Divinity.
"I have weeded out the weak, they are dead because of their blatant ignorance and fear. Fear is not a natural feeling, it is learned. I can sense your fear, but you are not cowards like the beings who died just a few moments ago. You are the chosen, you will inherit the world. This is Cipher's return.
This is our Reincarnation."
Any suggestions? Crit is welcome, feel free to beat me if you see any grammatical errors ;D
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