Sincerely, Feebas

[Act]

Heh, I wrote this on a whim because I went to serebii and was killed by the stupid. And in case anyone missed that, I don't like serebii.

Actually, I saw like 4 fics about feebas' ugliness. So, in defense of feebas, I present this letter given to me by the Head Feebas of Route Whatever.

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Dear Trainers, Breeders, Coordinators and Writers,


We feebas have several bones to pick with you. No pun intended. In fact, seeing as ?several? generally does not denote a number greater than ten, we have many separate bones to pick. And not of them were at any time a part of one feebas, and they are all nice, white, bleached bones as well.

First of all, we as feebas do not consider ourselves hideous. In fact, there are several of us who will very readily tell you they prefer the feebas form to the giant worm that is milotic. Feebas, like all pokemon and the occasional sane human, have pride. We as a community feel that, though the average feebas has about one-hundredth of the intellectual power of an alakazam, a personal preference involving looks is no reason to discriminate.

We may be dimwitted, but ugly is a very harsh word that should be using sparingly and preferably only against a sibling in the occasion of a disagreement.

That said, there are many trainers who relish the idea of owning a feebas. Because we keep ourselves so hidden, we are considered treasures. Yes, you heard correctly. The sight of a feebas has never burned out anyone?s eyes. In fact, there are people who sit along the waterfall outside of the tree-town and fish for feebas. Yes, you people actually look for feebas in particular. It has even been said several times that there has been childish squealing at the sight of a feebas, followed shortly after by, ?Isn?t he just a-dor-able?!?

Yes, adorable. Not horrific. Not some depressed to tears by our ?ugliness?.

As for magikarp? well, to the breeders, we are far more versatile than those useless fish, and are capable of far more than flopping around. Watch, breeders, as we learn dragonbreath and sent magikarp flying. Watch and be amazed. Though, personally, we as a community of social beings feel no hostility toward magikarp. Magikarp, too, deserve to live their lives without the ridicule of you people.

As for coordinators, they aren?t all abusive saps with try to exploit us for milotic. Likewise, not all of them are lovey-dovey. They treat us like pokemon. Some even choose to give us everstones, and use a mere feebas to outdo all of those silly ninetales at a beauty contest. Yes, they treat us as a contest pokemon is treated.

As amazing as it seems, feebas are treated like normal pokemon. Yes, writers, that means you. We do not appreciate the several hundred fics which showcase how we evolve from ugly to beautiful when someone goes out of their way to care for us. Personally, we feebas do not feel that anyone should have to ?go out of their way? to care for a feebas any more so than they would for another pokemon.

We do have self-esteem, you know.

All this said: please have some respect for the pokemon we are as you have respect for nosepass, glalie, pikachu and everyone else.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

The Feebas​

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I actually find it comical xD Can't you just see the feebas in some office with a pen in hand?

 

[JX Valentine]

To your comment about Feebas with pens... Now I do. *points to avatar and shudders* That was one whacked-up comic, man.

Anyways, this seriously reminds me of the dolphins in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I mean, you're just one "so long, and thanks for all the fish" away from capturing a wisp of the airy humor Douglas Adams had in the great, five-book trilogy.

And I'm still giggling over the "Look at me blast Magikarp with Dragonbreath!" paragraph.

Seriously, though, well said. Poor, poor Feebas.

 

[Act]

I was cracking up as I wrote it xD it's the most random thing I've ever written in my life.

 

[Emerald Queen]

Feebas with a pen? No, that's stretching even my capacious imagination too far. Feebas with a bluetooth-style dictaphone, however...

I'm afraid I'm as guilty as most over Feebas: I certainly didn't know they could learn dragonbreath. As for beauty contests, I've won four straight victories in those with a Castform. Move over, Milotic and Ninetails.

But back to the 'letter': excellent writing! It has a nice pace and rythem(?) to it. I was sorry when I reached the end: I wanted it to go on a little longer. I also like the way it reads: as if the Feebas was speaking in an ordinary conversation, rather than giving a lecture.

And I do like the wry humour. I can't agree with Kazeto Tamashii about the Douglas Adams thing: I don't like Adams' style of humour at all, as I find it disjointed and almost meaningless. However, there is an ironic humour to life, and you've captured it perfectly.

Brilliant bit of penmanship, Act. Keep at it!

 

[Act]

::shrug:: Whatever kind of humor is truly, is I'm glad you enjoyed it. Let's call it 'satire' and be finished, ne?

Anyway, as an aside, I went in to fix two spelling errors to the words 'magikarp' and 'ninetales'.

 

[Yuri Volte Hyuga]

I like it. Very good, considering I like Feebas. They're like pugs...so ugly that they're cute. Sorry, not good at giving criticism, but I really enjoyed it.

-Yuri Volte Hyuga-

 

[Alana]

I also enjoyed your fic. I don't know how long I spent searching for a Feebas. It took forever! Then I was fishing for a different Pokemon and I caught Feebas. I fished and caught three more then left and began to train one. Long story short I won the Master Rank contest with Feebas. Not the original because I am trying to complete my Pokedex so I wanted it to evolve. (I still cannot for the life of me figure out why it didn't evolve when I fed it pure blue Pokeblocks and helped it win Master Rank. *shrugs*) But I grew attatched to it so it shall remain a Feebas for the rest of it's days.

I also found the fic quite humorous. Seeing a Feebas at a desk with a pen crcked me up. It is, an unusual sight. Lol. I can also see a Feebas poking it's head out of the water and repremanding a trainer for calling it ugly. I personally think they're rather cute. ^_^

Your grammer is excelent except for capitalization(I will be astounded if I spelled that right). Even for the name of a Pokemon such as Magikarp it should be capitalized. Apart from that it is exceptionally good. Keep up the good work with your writing.

 

[Act]

Thank you ^^


I don't capatalize pokemon names. We don't capatalize 'animal' and 'fish', so why capatalize 'pokemon' and 'magikarp'?

 

[Alana]

I don't really know why words like 'Pokemon' and 'Magikarp' are capitalized when words like 'animal' and 'fish' aren't. It's just one of those things that doesn't make much sense at times. *shrugs* Aww well I guess it doesn't really matter anyway. :P

 

[Act]

::nod:: It's at users disgression, but I always bring that up, it's an interesting discussion tangent. If we write Feebas, why not Fish? Random capitalizations really annoy me, so I don't, but if you caps Goldeen you have to caps flounder as well ;) :P

 

[Orange_Flaaffy]

Cute little story Act:). I love milotic, but I've never looked down on feebas becuase of that. I will however, say that feebas does remind me of those soft meated white fleshed bottom feeder fish my mom use to cook. Not good eatin', so all the more reason feebas should be our true friends, and not something to just put up with and\or eat..