So Close Yet So Far Away ~ An AAMayL novel ~

[Shiny May]

So Close, Yet So Far Away ! An AAMayL novel
*contains anime spoilers!*
This is an AAMayL novel, by me of course. It takes part in Hoenn after the Hoenn League where Ash came in the list of this years top four trainers. Now they?re on their way back to Petalburg City to pay another visit to May and Max?s parents.


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Leaving Evergrande City behind them, Ash, May, Max and Brock walk down a road. Walking in a romantic environment filled with blooming roses, trees and happily chirping birds in the trees.

?So Ash how does it feel to be one of the best trainers in Hoenn?? May asks one of her closest friends.

?It feels good May. I?m sorry that you didn?t turn out well in that contest tournament,? Ash said feeling sorry about her loss against Drew.

?Well Drew was just better, I?ll just have to train some more,? May said as the conversation came to an end.

It was really weird, May had never felt like this around a boy. She always talked like a maniac around everybody even around a boy she liked when she was in kinder garden. But when she was around Ash, she couldn?t even start a decent conversation and when they had a conversation it was about gyms and contests. She just wished that she could bring out some more words about other more personal stuff. But she was too afraid for this, she would feel ashamed that she brought up the subject and then the end of the conversation was back in sight again.

Brock saw that the conversation between May and Ash had ended and saw that there was a slight tension between them. He suspected a few things, but decided not to bring up anything.

?So guys, what do you want for lunch?? Brock then said. ?I bought some brownies in Evergrande and some lovely tomato soup!?

?Wow Brock! That?s great! I love brownies and tomato soup!? Max said excited.

They decided to find a place to lunch and they found a perfectly place by the river. There was a picnic table so they didn?t have to sit on the ground. As Max and Ash helped Brock by preparing the lunch, May had to search for some lumber .

?Brock do I have to search for some lumber!? May said annoyed. She hated to do that, she just wanted to cook because she loved food. ?Why can?t Max do it for once!?

?Well Max doesn?t have a pokemon,? Brock said as he received a loud ?cough? from Max.

?Well not yet at least,? Brock corrected himself and laughed at Max.

?Well fine!? May said annoyed as she walked into a nearby forest. Kicking against some rocks on the floor she searches for lumber.

?You know,? she said out loud. ?This is too boring by myself. Go Combusken!?

May threw out a pokeball which revealed a large red and yellow fowl pokemon. It appeared right in front of her and happily cried out his name.

?Good to see you Combusken. Are you going to help me with the lumber?? she asked her pokemon which happily nodded a yes. ?Thanks!?

She was happy when her pokemon wanted to help her but soon her face became sad again. She thought about her behaviour when she was around Ash. It was just childish and made her look stupid with Ash. That was the real thing she was becoming sad of. Ash probably would think she was being childish and would probably be ashamed of her.

?Busken?? it asked May.

?Nothing Combusken,? May comforted her pokemon as she sat down on a tree stump. Combusken saw that something was bothering his trainer so it sad beside her.

?You know Combusken. You?re the only one I?m telling this,? May said as she looked around her to see if nobody else was hearing this. ?You know, I secretly have certain feelings for Ash. It?s really weird when I am around him. I have a weird feeling in my stomach when I am near him or even talk about him about the stupidest things.?

?Com,? it said in agreement. ?Busken com?

?You already knew this?? she asked her pokemon which nodded. ?Oh my, who else knows? Brock, Ash or Max? Oh no not Max, he would tease me for the rest of my life! You know if he knew then he would tease me so that means he doesn?t know.?

?Busken?? Combusken said a bit confused.

?It?s okay. I talk a bit confusing sometimes,? May said. ?Well I?ll see how it will turn out. First let?s get some wood and bring it back to Brock.?

Combusken and May found some wood which they brought back to camp. When she arrived there, she saw three impatient trainers.

?Where were you?? they all said in unison.

?Looking for wood,? May said a bit sarcastic. She knew she took some extra time but telling Combusken how she felt really made her feel better.

May gave the lumber to Brock which made a fire with it so he could make the soup. May then sat down by the river and she looked at the cool water.

She then looked back at the group and especially at Ash who was looking at the soup. She started to stare at him which her brother Max noticed so he stepped towards her.

?Who are you staring at?? he asked his big sister.

?Nobody!? May said embarrassed and quickly looked back into the water.

?Or do you have a crush on a boy?? he asked his sister which really made May?s head go tomato red.

?Boyfriend?? Ash and Brock said in unison and looked at May who became more red every second.

?Who is it?? Brock said excited. He was glad that finally he wasn?t the one who had a crush on somebody.

?Nobody!? May said getting annoyed.

?Do we know him?? Brock interrogated her.

?No, you don?t!? May said as she got up and walked away from Brock and Max and walked to a different part of the river a few metres away from Brock and Max.

?Guys, just leave her alone!? Ash said as he didn?t want to know anymore information about May?s secret love. Since the first day he met her and especially since the finales of the Hoenn League, he felt really weird around May. It felt like something he had never ever felt before and he thought that he might had fallen in love with her. That?s why he didn?t want to know anymore information about this secret guy.

?Thanks Ash!? May said as she had a slight blush on her cheeks and it even made Ash blush slightly.

Then somebody rushed by and threw May in the water.

?Ash ash ash?!? the girl screamed and walked over to Ash who shockingly looked at the girl. When the girl stopped in front of Ash, everybody could take a close look at her. She was about Ash?s height and wore a pair of black trousers with a white tank top above it. Her blond curly hair was breezing through the wind and her bright blue eyes sparkled when she saw Ash.

?Yeah I am Ash,? Ash said silently as he looked at May who tried to get out of the water with the help of her little brother Max.

Brock already was standing next to the girl and examined her and like always he started to flirt.

?You?re Brock right?? the girl asked. ?I know everything about Ash so also his friends!?

?Yeah I am Brock and you?re beautiful!? Brock said trying to flirt with her again.

?Thanks. You?re cute too but I?m here for Ash! I?m your number one fan!? she said excited. ?I watched you at the Hoenn League and you were just awesome!?

?Thanks,? Ash said as he saw how May came out of the water completely soaked. Together with Max she walked up to Brock, Ash and the weird girl.

The girl turned around and saw May standing behind her.

?Oh yeah, sorry about that,? the girl said rudely and turned back to Ash.

This turned May furious. She did give an apology but she didn?t mean a thing about it. But she wondered, was this really what upset her or was it because she seemed to get Ash?s complete attention, something which she tried to get for a long time. She then walked to her bag and grabbed a towel to dry herself a bit.

Then May heard how Brock invited the girl to stay for lunch. This really made May angry. First of all, she soaked her without a decent apology and then she starts to take away Ash from her.

When everybody already started to eat, May walked to the table.

?Thanks for waiting,? May said sarcastically and also sat down at the table.

?I?m sorry May,? Ash apologised and so did everybody else except for the girl.

?So what is your name actually?? May then asked the girl. ?It would be nice if we knew that.?

Ash looked at May strangely, this wasn?t the same May he knew. She seemed to be angry about something and he would love to know what she is so angry about.

?My name is Kari,? the girl replied to May?s question.

?A beautiful name for a beautiful girl!? Brock complimented her once more which made May noxious.

?Uhm,? Ash started. ?May could I talk to you for a minute??

?Was this it?? May thought to herself. Was Ash going to confess his love for her or would this be a good chance to tell her feelings.

Together with Ash, she walked to the river side where they sat down as Kari, Brock and Max looked at them.

?What?s wrong May? You look upset!? Ash said to start the conversation.

?Nothing,? May said a bit depressed. It wasn?t what she hoped it would be, but it did show that Ash cared about her as a friend. But not like that was something new, she knew Ash cared about her like a friend would do. He proved that by saving her a few times.

?It?s nothing Ash,? she said once more. ?I think I just need to eat something. I didn?t eat much this morning.?

With that she stepped up and walked back to the table to finish her lunch. Max and Brock already started to clear the table as Ash sat down by the river together with his Pikachu.

Then Kari leaned over to May and started to whisper something.

?You?ll never get Ash!? she said and she immediately leaned back and walked over to sit next to Ash.

Shockingly she looked at Kari, what would this mean. Would she never ever get Ash now that Kari wouldn?t let go off Ash. This really frightened May, she never really was scared to loose Ash. Not even when he was around other pretty girls. But for some reason, she has a thought that she wouldn?t get rid of Kari that easily and that she had to do everything she could to win Ash for her.


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I hope you guys like it, it's my first real shippy story. I am writing two trainer fics but there isn't much shippiness in it, only a little bit but frankly these chaps have to be filled with shipping so it was really something different.
I hope you all like it and that it isnt too much like other shipping fanfics. It's not really this long, only four pages but I always think that the first chap is the hardest to start with. I hope that the other chaps will turn out to become longer.

Please tell me what you think about it.

 

[Mr Cat Dog]

With shipping fics, emotion of the main characters is the most important thing - it even comes over description. With this fic - you've portrayed emotion very well... but especially on May's part. Her change from general feelings towards Ash to her impounding jealousy of Kari was well put. And you've completed the main goal for a shipping fic - well done ^_^

My main concern is however, description. Although I said above that description isn't as important - it's still necessary to provide overall mood of the surroundings. I'm not saying you haven't got it... I'm just saying that it would make the atmosphere of the fic a lot more authentic if you added a bit more in the way of physical description.

Well - I hope this fic continues. Just remember to add that little bit more description, and you should be fine ^_^

 

[Shiny May]

thanks for the reply mr. Cat Dog I didn't read your reply when I made this chap but I'll keep this in mind when I type the next chap !!! Thnx

Chapter 2
The beginning of the end!


?You?ll never get Ash!? Kari said and she immediately leaned back and walked over to sit next to Ash.

Shockingly May looked at Kari, what would this mean. Would she never ever get Ash now that Kari wouldn?t let go off Ash. This really frightened May, she never really was scared to loose Ash. Not even when he was around other pretty girls. But for some reason, she has a thought that she wouldn?t get rid of Kari that easily and that she had to do everything she could to win Ash for her.

?Is everything okay, May?? Brock asked as he cleaned up all the empty plates from the table.

?Yeah, I am fine,? she said as she looked angrily at Kari as she put her last piece of bread in her mouth. ?Do you need some help with the dishes??

?No thanks, Max is going to help me today!? Brock said as he looked at his 8 year old friend.

?What?? I said. ?It?s Ash?s turn!?

?Too bad for you but you?re going to have to do it today!? Brock said as he threw a towel in Max?s hands and they started to do the dishes.

Brock saw how May looked at Kari angrily but also saw a bit of sadness in her eyes. He thought he had a few ideas about May?s feelings but he decided to keep things to himself and especially not telling anything to Max.

As she feels really saddened, May sits down by a big tree, a few metres away from Kari and Ash who whispered to each other. May saw how Kari kept going closer and closer to Ash and it made her crazy.

?So Ash,? Kari said as she got closer and closer to Ash. ?How does it feel to be such a good trainer??

?It feels fine,? Ash said while blushing. ?My friends supported me really good. I couldn?t have done it without them.?

?I bet you couldn?t,? Kari said. ?What if I joined you guys. I would love to support you, Ash!?

Shockingly Ash looked at Kari. She was a pretty girl in his opinion but she was pushy. Kari was nice but for some reason she also scared him. But of course Brock overhead the conversation and was thrilled since he thought she was beautiful and he could think of a way to hit on her.

?Sure you can join!? Brock said excited and happily walked back to max who mocked since he didn?t want to do the dishes.

?Oh wow Ash, isn?t that great!? she said as she kissed him on the cheek.

Ash blushed when Kari kissed him on the cheek but he immediately stepped up and walked to Brock.

?So Brock, do you have any chores?? he asked quickly so he could forget about the entire kiss on the cheek.

?Nope sorry Ash. Max was thrilled to do the dishes so he did your chore for today!? Brock said while laughing but Max couldn?t laugh. ?And Ash, that kiss on the cheek was sweet, but please don?t go any further. She?s so cute.?

?Don?t worry. I won?t!? Ash said as he sat down at the table.

In the meanwhile, May overheard the entire thing about Kari joining them on the rest of their journey. She thought that after today she would get rid of her but now she would get in her way forever.

Then May thought it was about time that she would talk to her friend Brendan Birch again so she decided to send him a message.

She and Brendan Birch have been good friends since their parents were close friends. Except Brendan was one year older then May so he could leave on his journey a bit earlier. She sometimes contacted him but it wasn?t that often. And now that she got a mobile phone from her parents she could send him a few messages every now and then.

She then started on her message.

?Hi Brendan!
How are ya? I?m fine except for the fact that a stupid girl just joined our group. She?s so obnoxious, well you know why. I?m glad I can talk to you about things like this. I miss our conversations we had in earlier days. Hope to hear from you soon,
Lots of love, May!?

She then send the message to Brendan and walked back to the table where all four of them were sitting. May put her phone on the table and sat down.

?Okay, guys. Here are the plans. We have to get to Petalburg City within three weeks because it?s Max?s birthday then. So we have to hurry. If we take a boat to Slateport City then we?re getting really close. But the boat ride takes about 3 days from here till Slateport. That means we?ve got two and a half weeks till we can reach Petalburg City,? Brock explained.

?I see,? May started to taunt. ?It?s not like it?s that important. Max is only becoming 9 years!?

?Don?t be mean, May!? Kari interrupted. ?Every birthday is important.?

?Thanks Kari,? Max said gladly. ?Finally I have a person who protects me from May!?

Everybody started laughing except for May. Sadly she looked at the way Kari and Max were hanging out. She and Max had never been like that together. The only thing they ever did was fighting.

Then May?s phone started to vibrate and started to make a beeping sound, which meant that she received a message.

?Saved by the bell,? she said as she angrily walked away from the table and walked back to the tree.

She opened the message and saw that she received a message from Brendan.

?Hey sweetie!
Maybe you just have to get used to that girl. She can?t be any worse then you are !! Just kidding! May you know that no girl is better then you are. You?re the best friend I?ve ever had and I am sure she couldn?t replace you.
I?ve got to go now, I?m challenging Bugsy in Johto now. Wish me luck!
Love and a big kiss from you?re boyfriend Brendan !!! XD?

She looked at the screen with a big smile on her face. For some reason, Brendan could always make her smile in sad times. That?s why they could never be mad at each other for a long time.

Then Brock came to the tree and sat down next to May.

?What?s up, Brock?? May said as she started into the shiny blue water in front of her.

?Nothing. How about you?? he asked as he knew that something was bothering her.

?I?m fine,? May said.

?You know for some reason, I don?t believe you. Is this about Kari?? Brock asked her.

May looked at Brock and she knew she couldn?t lie to him. She did it several times when he taunted her about she liking Ash. Of course, she did but she never told Brock this. But for some reason he always had a big smile after such a conversation and grinned at her the entire day.

?You know I can?t lie to you, Brock,? May said. ?I guess I am a bit bothered by the fact that Kari is joining.?

?I knew it,? Brock said with a big smile on his face.

?Knew what?? May wondered as she looked at Brock suspiciously.

?You?re jealous that she kissed Ash on the cheek!? Brock whispered.

?What?? she yelled and caught all the attention from Ash, Max and Kari.

?No, I?m not,? she said in a soft tone. ?I?m just a bit jealous of the way she and Max are acting together. Max and I were never that close!?

?You know that?s not true,? Brock comforted her. ?You and Max are family. Nobody can come between you not even the love of your life and especially not Kari. You know Max told me about the time that he was in the hospital and you stayed with him the entire night.?

May smiled when she thinks about that moment.

?I guess you?re right. Thanks Brock, you know how to cheer me up,? May said as she was about to rise from the ground.

?Are you sure there?s nothing else?? Brock said as he stops May from rising from the ground.

?Nothing else,? May said quickly as she walked back to the table.

When she walked back to the table, Brock quickly followed her. May saw how close Kari and Max were but thought of Brock said to her. But for some reason it didn?t help much, Kari could get along with Brock, Ash and even her brother Max while most of the things they did with Brock and co was arguing. Maybe it was better for her to leave so Kari could take her place, everybody loved her.

?Uhm, May?? Ash then asked.

?Yes?? May said as she cheered up to hear Ash?s soft voice again. ?What?s up??

?Do you mind if I use your phone to call my mother. She?s probably worried about me and I need to ask her a few things.?

?Sure, you can use it,? May said as she handed Ash the phone.

Ash walked away to the river and sat down as he peddled his feet in the water. He dialled the number and waited till Delia answered the phone.

?Delia Ketchum,? a voice said through the phone.

?Hi mom. It?s Ash!? Ash yelled through the phone.

?Hi honey! How are you? When are you coming back home?? Delia asked quickly as she was very anticipated to see her son again.

?Probably next month, I?ll arrive in Pallet Town,? Ash replied. ?I can?t wait to see you again mom. I want you to meet all of my friends. You know May and Max but now you can also meet Kari!?

?Who?s Kari?? Delia asked. ?Is she your girlfriend??

?No, she isn?t,? Ash said a bit embarrassed about how excited he was when he talked about his mother meeting his new friend.

?Oh my, Ash has a girlfriend!? Delia said excited through the phone.

?No mom!? Ash yelled through the phone and caught all the attention of Brock, May, Max and Kari. ?She?s not my girlfriend!?

?Fine! I?ll judge that when you get back in Pallet Town,? Delia said while giggling.

?Bye mom!? Ash said through the phone and he hung up.

He didn?t understand much from May?s phone so he pushed various buttons on the phone and then a message appeared on the screen. Out loud he read,

?Hey Sweetie!
Maybe you just have to get used to that girl. She can?t be any worse then you are !! Just kidding! May you know that no girl is better then you are. You?re the best friend I?ve ever had and I am sure she couldn?t replace you.
I?ve got to go now, I?m challenging Bugsy in Johto now. Wish me luck!
Love and a big kiss from you?re boyfriend Brendan !!! XD?

?Boyfriend?? Ash wondered. He never heard May talking about a guy named Brendan and especially not about the fact that it was her boyfriend. He didn?t feel well, he seemed jealous of the message that he send to May.

?Ash what are you doing?? May then asks madly. ?Why are you reading my messages?!?

 

[Spirit of the Moon]

I's really nice fan fiction!

 

[Zapchu]

I just finished reading the first episode, great job on the writing, I'll read episode 2 tommorow. Ash is as confused as ever about May's "secret boyfriend", heh that was funny when they all asked who it was.

 

[Shiny May]

thanks for the replies. This isn't a big chap but it's filled with anger so I enjoyed writing it !!

Chapter 3
One too much!​

?Ash what are you doing?? May then asks madly. ?Why are you reading my messages?!?

Ash turned around and saw May standing behind him. Her eyes were filled with anger and she pulled her phone out of Ash?s hands.

?How could you?? May shouted as she put the phone away. ?How about some privacy!?

?I?m so sorry May!? Ash apologised as May ran away back to the table. Ash quickly followed her back to the table.

?I?m sorry May. I didn?t knew how to end the conversation so I pushed a few buttons and then the message popped up on the screen!? Ash explained.

?Do you expect me to believe that?? May said angrily. ?Then if it was an accident then you shouldn?t have read the entire message!?

?Hey guys, what?s going on in here?? Brock said who threw himself into the fight.

?Only that some punk from Pallet read some of my phone messages!? May explained angrily.

?It was an accident!? Ash once again apologised.

?Yeah right!? May shouted and grabbed her bag and started to walk.

?Hey May! Wait up!? Max shouted and her little brother followed the stubborn May. Max was followed by Ash, Brock and Kari.

May was furious with Ash, he always seemed to be a boy that respected somebody?s privacy but now she read her messages. It?s not that the message contained so much information but what if he read one of her earlier messages where she talked about Ash all the time. She would feel so embarrassed.

In the meantime, Max walked beside his big sister without speaking a word. He looked at her, he hadn?t seen her this angry since he cut off the head of his sisters favourite doll.

?Are you mad at me too, May?? Max wondered.

May looked next to her and saw the innocent eyes of her brother looking at her.

?Of course not Max!? May said as she hugged her little brother. ?Why would I be mad at you? Or did you read my diary??

?NO!? he said. ?I tried but your lock was hard to unlock with a key.?

?You tried?? May yelled. ?Well at least you couldn?t read it. I can forgive you that.? May said as she stroke her brother through his hair.

?Great!? Max said who looked a lot happier as did May.

In the meanwhile Brock, Kari and Ash were walking behind May and Max.

Ash thought deeply about the entire situation. He understood why May was so angry with him but why didn?t she ever tell him about this Brendan guy. Was he indeed his boyfriend or not? Also he had to think of a way to make up with May but how?

?Hey Brock. How do you apologise with a girl?? Ash said.

?So you did read the message?? Brock asked Ash.

?Well kind of, but I didn?t mean to read it!? Ash immediately defended himself. ?But how do you apologise for such a thing??

?I don?t know. Usually I get a hit in my head so I?m gone for a few minutes and when I wake up the girl is gone,? Brock said while laughing. ?Maybe Kari knows a way??

Kari was shocked when Brock called for her name. Now she had to help Ash to make up with May? She didn?t want that but what if she didn?t help Ash? Then Ash would probably hate her and then it wouldn?t work between the two of them.

?Sure Ash, I?ll help you!? Kari said. ?Let me think. It?s kind of a difficult situation so I suggest that you just apologise to her in words. If you start with gifts May might think it?s too cheap since it?s not an easy situation. Words are the best medicine in this situation, I guess.?

?Thanks Kari,? Ash said excited as he walked over to May.

?What?? she said still angry and stopped walking.

?I just want to apologise for what happened a few minutes ago. It was wrong and I?m so sorry!? Ash begged.

May looked at Ash, his sweet eyes that stared at her. How could she not forgive such a sweet boy but on the other hand he did read her messages.

?I don?t know Ash. The things you read were really private!? May said.

?I know. I am really sorry. You can even read my journal you know!? Ash suggested.

?You keep a journal?? May said shockingly as did Max.

?You keep a journal?? Max also said and started laughing.

?Shut up, Max!? May said angrily and hit her brother in the head.

?No Ash,? May said. ?I don?t want to break in your privacy, although you did break into my privacy.?

May thought it was really sweet that Ash kept a journal. But she didn?t want to break into his privacy. If she did that, she would be nothing different from what Ash did to her.

?What else can I do to make things good between us?? Ash asked her as they continued to walk further towards a near wooden bridge which was above a small river.

?Well,? May said until she got interrupted by Kari who ran at Ash and May. She hugged Ash around his neck which really bugged May. Okay, she was still mad at Ash but she did feel jealous when Kari was so close with Ash.

?Well Ashy!? Kari said. ?Did my advice work??

?Advice?? May said. ?You couldn?t think yourself that you needed to apologise??

?Come on May,? Kari started. ?Don?t be so childish. Okay so you are a child but isn?t it sweet that he wanted to apologise.?

?I guess so but don?t call me a child. I?m not acting like a child who doesn?t cling to somebody just so she can get some attention!?

The fight continued, Ash was in the middle of it and didn?t knew what to do. Brock and Max were about two metres away from the whole girl fight and just stared in awe.

?Come on girls,? Ash said trying to calm the girl down but he got pushed away by May.

?Hey stop that!? Kari said angrily and pushed May away.

May stepped back a few feet and smashed against the bridge. She fell over the bridge and fell into the water.

?May!? Max yelled and walked off the bridge and jumped into the water to help his sister.

Together with Max she climbed out of the water and walked back to the bridge and the rest of the group. Completely soaked she stood there.

?May are you okay?? Brock said as he looked at her face, arms and legs to see if she wasn?t hurt.

?Yeah I am fine!? she said as she dried her hair with a towel out of her bag.

She felt embarrassed and she was sick of it. She was sick of Kari and her feeling of Ash. She liked him a lot but if he started to read messages and couldn?t think of himself to apologise to her then it was over.

?You know guys, I?m going back home!? May said.

?We?re all going back home, you know,? Max said who started to get the feeling what May was talking about.

?No Max,? May said silently. ?I can?t take it anymore. I?m leaving by myself!?

Shocked everybody looked at May. The biggest shock was with Ash, why was May leaving? Was it because of him that she left? How would he ever tell her how he felt about her.

 

[Mr Cat Dog]

I always like angst in Shipping fics... well in all fics really. And that last chapter proved to be full of it XD It's also good to see the relationships between the characters becoming closer. You've also improved on the description a bit, and the pace is going nice and slowly. Well done - ^_^

However, the actual emotional side does seem to be fading. Although there was the text message to Brendan, that was really it in terms of emotion. There were no real questions of love on May's side, or perhaps on Kari's side - which would have spiced things up a bit seeing the story from a different point of view. Emotion is key in stories like these.

Well... if you add to the emotional side of this fic, you should progress fine. ^_^

 

[paige pelletier]

Please write more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love thease storys!~

 

[Zapchu]

O_O; I just finished reading episode 2 and 3...man, I'm wondering what's going to happen in 4. I hope you can post it up soon, the story is progressing really well! You've got me hooked to it now... -_-;; I shall check back here everyday.

 

[Jesus Freak Josh]

Neat Shiny May! ^_^
*Thumbs up*
Ash better get May! Cause if he doesn't... *cracks knuckles*
I see you corrected the mistake you made... XD

Two criticisms...

1) You wrote things like "I'm turning 9!"
Instead you should write in word form.
"I'm turning nine!"

2) This isn't really crticism but when most people write messages in stories, they put the message in italics. But your way is fine too!

 

[Shiny May]

Oh I forgot to use that italics thing. Well sorry for that.
I'm busy with the next chap so maybe I'll bring it online later today or otherwise friday since I've got a full day of school tomorrow and I have to give a presentation !! :S

 

[Jesus Freak Josh]

Can't wait! ^_^

[offtopic]What's the presentation about?[/offtopic]

 

[Shiny May]

The presentation has something to do with health !!

New chap probably might come tonight or tomorrow !!! :D

 

[Jesus Freak Josh]

Woo hoo! Hooray for the humans! XD Can't wait!

 

[paige pelletier]

wrote what happens if may go bye bye!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAA!!!!! I need to know!!

 

[Shiny May]

Chapter 4
Going back home?!

?No Max,? May said silently. ?I can?t take it anymore. I?m leaving by myself!?

Shocked everybody looked at May. The biggest shock was with Ash, why was May leaving? Was it because of him that she left? How would he ever tell her how he felt about her.

?Why?? Max asked his sister as he looked at her with startled eyes.

?It?s just,? May said as she looked at Ash with Kari by his side. Ash looked sadly at May as Kari had a slight grin on her face. Should she leave Ash behind and let Kari win or would she leave Ash and hope that Ash would follow her and tell her how he felt about her.

?You know Max,? May started as she bend through her knees and looked at Max. ?I?m just not feeling very well and I think it?s better for me to head back home immediately without you guys.?

?Are you sick?? Max asked his sister as he didn?t understand what his sister meant with not feeling well.

?Pika?? Ash?s Pikachu wondered as he jumped off Ash?s shoulder and appeared next to Max.

?No, I?m not sick. How do I explain this?? May said as she looked at her brother.

?Max,? Brock started as he put a hand on May?s shoulder. ?I think May just wants to be alone and want to straight things out in her mind. Right May??

?Yeah, thanks Brock for explaining it,? May said as she stretched her legs again and looked at Ash and Kari once more.

Ash was still staring at May and Kari still grinned. Kari was happy to see May leave. Finally she could have Ash all for herself and now she wouldn?t have to compete with May over Ash. She had finally won and Kari looked at Ash who just stared at May.

Ash was just completely amazed by what May told. Why did she have to leave? Was it because of the fact that he read her messages or did it have another reason? His feelings for May became more clear every minute. He liked her a lot and he couldn?t bare to miss her for a second but there was another thing. He was too afraid to tell her how he felt. What if she didn?t feel the same for him. It would be too embarrassed to tell her and then he would fall down a pit and be laughed at by everybody.

?So you?re leaving me here all alone?? Max said with tears in his eyes. He didn?t want to miss his sister. Pikachu looked up to Max and jumped on his shoulder and looked at Max as he pinked away a tear.

?You?re not alone,? May said who also started to cry. ?You?ve got Brock, Ash, Pikachu and even Kari to look after you.?

?Yeah Max,? Kari said as she put a hand on his shoulder. ?I?ll look after you.?

?No you don?t. It?s probably your fault that May is leaving!? Max said angered and started to cry. He hugged his sister tight and didn?t want to let go of her.

May hugged her brother back and stared down to the ground. She knew Max was right but she couldn?t stand to be close to Kari for another second. It was going to be Kari or herself and since Kari wasn?t going to leave anytime soon. May decided she would leave.

?Don?t say that Max,? May said as she stopped hugging Max and looked him in the eyes. ?That?s really mean.?

?Is it true?? Ash said as he broke out of his trance and started walking towards May.

May looked at Ash and she wouldn?t lie to him but she didn?t want to create a huge fight in the group either.

?Well,? May started as she doubted of she had to lie or not. Then she had made a decision. ?Of course not, Ash!?

Ash looked at her and he didn?t knew what to think. The look in her eyes made him think that she was lying but since they were really close friends he knew that she had never ever lied to him once.

?If you say so,? Ash said and looked down to the ground.

?Now Max, apologise to Kari,? May said as she pushed him to Kari and took a few steps back.

?I?m sorry Kari. I shouldn?t have said that,? Max apologised and suddenly Kari started to hug Max.

May took a deep breath as she saw how Kari hugged Max. May could see a slight grin in Kari?s eyes but she paid no further attention to that.

?Nice job May,? Brock then whispered in May?s eyes.

Shocked May looked behind her and saw Brock behind her with a big smile on his face.

?What do you mean?? she asked him silently.

?You solved it the right way with Kari and Max. You?re a good person,? Brock said.

?I wouldn?t say that too soon,? May said depressed as she thought of how she lied to Ash. She had never ever lied to him and now with the last minutes she would spend with him for a while she started to lie.

?What do you mean?? Brock asked May.

?Nothing. Forget I said that,? May said and she turned once again to Max. ?Well brother, I?ll see you soon back in Petalburg.?

?Ok,? Max said silently as he gave his sister a final hug.

?Well guys,? May said. ?Thanks for the fantastic year. I hope you?ll accept my decision to take time for myself and I?ll see you back in Petalburg City.?

?How are you going back?? Brock asked May.

?I?m taking the bus. Then I?ll be back home around ten o?clock tonight.? May replied.

?Good choice. Then have a safe journey,? Brock said and smiled at her.

May looked at Brock and saw something in his eyes and she thought that Brock probably knew what was going on in her mind and why she was leaving and all.

She then turned to Kari and Ash.

?Bye May,? Kari said and that was the only thing she said.

?Bye Kari!? May said and that was final. The one thing she liked about this entire thing was that she didn?t have to see Kari for a while. The really best part of this all!

?Bye May,? Ash then started.

?Bye Ash,? May said and looked at him. This was the person she was going to miss the most, her tutor and her best friend.

She then started to walk over the bridge on to a path which would lead to the nearest bus stop. The other path would lead to the boat which would bring the rest of the group to Slateport City.

?May!? Ash then yelled and May stopped and looked around. She saw how Ash looked at her. Was this finally the moment?

?Yes Ash?? May said with a smile on her face.

Ash thought for a moment. Was this the right time to tell her how he felt?

?Have a safe journey!? he yelled and May?s face turned back to sad and she looked down to the ground. Then she raised her head and smiled with tears in her eyes.

?Thanks Ash,? May said and turned around and started to walk again.

?NO MAY!? Max then yelled and ran after his sister. On the bridge it was slippery and Max slipped and fell into the water.

May heard her brother yelling but tried to put it behind her and kept walking until she heard a loud splash. She quickly walked back and saw how Max was lying in the water.

?Max!? May yelled and she ran over to her little brother. ?Are you okay??

?Yeah I am fine,? Max said.

May quickly grabbed a towel out of her backpack and dried her little brother with it. They sat down for a while as May sat next to her brother. Then Max started to sneeze and cough badly.

?Here?s a tissue,? May said and handed Max a tissue where he could sneeze in.

?How could this happen?? May asked her brother who kept sneezing and didn?t have time to answer it because he had to cough again.

?Well may,? Brock explained. ?He ran after you until he slipped on the bridge!?

?Poor Max,? May said with tears in her eyes. This is what caused her departure, her brother falling in a river and making him sick.

May then hugged her brother as the rest of the group just watched the brother and sister hugging.

?Oh my!? May then said as she held her hand on Max?s head.

?What?s wrong?? Ash then asked worried.

?He?s heating up!? May said worried.

?A fever,? Brock said. ?Maybe you should take him to a hospital where they can put him some dry clothes on and where he can rest better.?

?Or,? May started. ?I?m taking Max back home where my parents and I can take care of him.?

Shocked they looked at May. First May was leaving and now Max too.

?Are you sure you want to do that, May?? Brock asked her.

?Pika?? Pikachu asked her too.

?Yeah I am sure. And my parents would possibly not forgive me if I would leave my brother alone when he?s sick,? May said sadly.

?I guess they won?t,? Ash said also sadly as he looked at May. He knew what was going to happen next he had to say goodbye to her again. Once was enough.

After sitting for a while, Max is feeling a bit better.

?Well Max are you ready?? May asks her little brother.

?Yeah,? Max said weakly as she arises from the ground with the support of May.

?Then it?s time to say goodbye again,? May says.

She gave Brock a hug and Kari a hand and Max did the same. May then faced Ash.

?See ya Ash. Visit us when you drop by Petalburg City,? May said with tears in her eyes.

?I will,? Ash said and they gave each other a hug.

Both Ash and May felt like they were blooming. It was feeling so good and it made both of them all tingly inside.

?Friends forever?? Ash asked May.

?Friends forever,? May replied and took back one step and together with Max she walked off and left her friends behind.

 

[paige pelletier]

Wow!!!!!! That is great! I loved it keep writing!

 

[Jesus Freak Josh]

Good story!
May come back! And rip Kari's head off too!

 

[Lily]

Wow. Interesting climax. oO;

The last part took me by surprise. It's interesting how the tension between Ash and May were strong in the beginning, but at the ends, 'friends forever?' Very nice, the irony is killing me me now. XD I'm wondering how the next chapter will turn out, and I'm sure it isn't over with May and Kari at all. It was really nicely written when you showed how May reluctantly let go, although the main thing I advise on is the reaction of Max. I would've liked it if you showed more emphasis on Max/May's reaction, as well as some others.

It's a bit disheartening to see them seperate, but the author might have new tricks. :P Can't wait til the next chapter.

 

[Shiny May]

Well it's not over between Ash and May !! And they will return soon !!!
The next chap will be about May's feelings and how she tells them to her mother and about Max's feelings too