something untitled

Lucid

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    here's something they made me write for an english class at school, eli told me to post it XD;


    I am selfish, I have fallen from grace
    how can I compare you to some
    you know me, you embrace me
    and you wiped my tears away
    skies of amber, seas of jade, watch this moment
    I?ll hold this memory forever, don?t let me fade, away

    It?s complicated, I am weak, you are strong
    I know your right and I am wrong
    Save me now, hold me close, cause I have fallen
    and I?m tired of holding on

    winter, summer, the sound of rain
    shining light, I?ll take away your pain
    nothing left, we?ll remake, erasing not an option
    it never was

    why haven?t you run away, are we both damaged
    please don?t worry, I?ll always stay
    you told me once, took me by surprise
    I always pulled away before, but you were different
    I could see it in your eyes
    just don?t say it, lets make things easier
     
    Omg Paige I love it!!! ^_____^ you put so much detail into it!!! it needs a name XD
     
    That was really good Hotaru ^^, its a nice love type poem that oyu put alot of effort into (I think XD).

    I don't like to critize any type of poetry related to "love", because thats something that really comes from inside and I don't feel right saying wheather or not its good or not because of the diffrent views based on it, especially the person who wrote it. But let me say you really did a good job on it, the only thing that could be fixed though is puncuation after each stanza like capital letters and periods ^^'.
     
    Thanks so much for the feedback guys, I really appreciate all of your comments ^^
    and not as much as I should have, LT ~_~
     
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