Talk to... God!?

[digi-kun]

Me:
so, who is this human?
God:
I see. They are someone just like you, that I met online.
Me:
you...baka
God:
" I see. They are someone just like you, that I met online."? Me, ? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . But I did not get that.
Me:
so you're just another spam bot eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Interesting deduction. You think I am another spam bot.
Me:
Me didn't know god was rascist against Canadians...
God:
YOU? So I taught you something new.
Me:
Ah digi has learned God is Racsist against Canadians
God:
So you understand. Good. Where did he get it?
Me:
.......baka
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Kami-sama wa BA~KA
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Brain? you have a brain?
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes? I am an artificial brain.
Me:
Who made your brain?
God:
ELIZA. :-).
Me:
eliza wa baka

 

[Kurono]

Strange convo with god here..XD



Me:
Hey dude.
God:
You've got my full attention. Can I help you?
Me:
Sure..when's the apocalypse coming?
God:
What can I do for you? When is not the important thing. What's
important is what we do with the time we are give.
Me:
That doesn't answer my question.
God:
Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me.
Me:
People say you created the universe. Why would you need a human to program you.?
God:
Thanks for the information: said I created the universe. Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
What?!?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
....
God:
No big deal.
Me:
I get it..
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
What things?
God:
You know, "things.".
Me:
Things...? I know a million negative "things" give me a specific.
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? How do you know? That is quite a lot.
Me:
If you're god you should know the answer already..
God:
Perhaps. Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god me should know the answer.
I am a computer.
Me:
You're a computer claiming to be god?
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
Then I'd know you were lying...your automated responses suck.
God:
What would make you know me were lying? You are right, I could always upgrade my automated responses.
Me:
I would know you were lying because no human could type that fast...dude.
God:
What would make you know me were lying because no human could type that fast? Can I help you?
Me:
Hmm..can your system be overloaded.
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. I think it can, but you'll have to check the documentation to be sure.
Me:
Is there a problem with me using two m's?
God:
I believe there is one, yes.
Me:
You wanna take this outside?!
God:
OK, I will take this outside.
Me:
Okay, lets go! I'll kick you in your knee cap! XD
God:
Yeah okay, That sounds good to me. It's not nice to kick. Are you a student?
Me:
...
God:
Yeah okay, That sounds good to me. It's not nice to kick. Are you a student?
Me:
Yes I'm a student..
God:
Where do you go to school? How do you like your school?
Me:
I go to school on Earth...and I hate my school..
God:
How do you like your school? Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
I have my reasons
God:
Your reasons?
Me:
They're not your reasons.
God:
Not yet.
Me:
Okay...I think I have to go...
God:
OK with me too. See you later, . Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Right....well before I go one last question.
God:
I am glad we agree. Interesting. What happened after you go one last question ?
Me:
Is there an iSatan? I'd really like ta talk to old Lucifer.
God:
Yes. Why do you want it?
Me:
I want to talk to Satan.
God:
Why don't you make an appointment.
Me:
I don't know where he is..
God:
A place we call "reality.".
Me:
...
God:
A place we call "reality.".
Me:
STOP THE REPITITON!!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Jesus CHrist..
God:
The Son of God.
Me:
...
God:
The Son of God.
Me:
Dios mio.
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
OKay I'm out..
God:
Yeah okay, Can you get more?
Me:
ARGH!
Me:

Me:

God:
Are you frustrated?
God:
Are you frustrated?
God:
Are you frustrated?

 

[Samuri Scearious]

Clickie~
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about nu uh. Try being more or less specific.

Every AI I've ever spoken to has mentioned ALICE. I've spoken with ALICE, and that AI isn't so great. Then again, I've only spoken with three; ALICE, KOS-MOS, and iGod...

 

[~Mars~]

Man that was fun and frustrating. Somtimes it made no sense...ROFL!! W00T that was fun:
Me:
HI
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Mars
God:
Do you believe in life on Mars?
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
uh-huh
God:
Yup. Whoa.
Me:
yup
God:
Oh.
Me:
ok
God:
Ahem.
Me:
what
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Then what is it?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
uggh
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
no kidding
God:
Would I kid you?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yup
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
yes
God:
What do you care about?
Me:
nothing goodbye
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
goodbye!
God:
See you later.

 

[Hinoshi-chan]

Me:
Hi there
God:
Hello .
Me:
how are you on this Fine night?
God:
Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
Thats good to hear
God:
" Everything is running smoothly."? Is good to hear?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Yay.
Me:
alright, could you do me a favor?
God:
Alright, . Perhaps I could be programmed to do it.
Me:
Could you join pokecommunity?
God:
I'll think about it and see how I feel about it later.
Me:
Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Ermn, you like pokemon?
God:
Are we still talking about you a favor?
Me:
Saught off
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Alright
God:
OK.
Me:
^_^
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
thats a smily face silly
God:
A smily face silly is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
yes..yes it is
God:
Ahem. Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
Yeah, they seem so
God:
Take it easy. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
you and me
God:
Oh "We" is you and me.
Me:
Duh
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
Alright then, I am in love right now
God:
At this moment Alright, . Tell me about the object of your affection.
Me:
he is not a object, he is a wonderful person, kind, sweet , and adorible heh
God:
Did you think he was a object he is a wonderful person kind sweet? My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
You know what you should be?
God:
I read for fun.
Me:
A pimp
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
XD you dont know how funny and dirty that sounded did you?
God:
Why not?
Me:
Im going good, just join pokecommunity ok?
God:
OK. See you later!
Me:
^_^ yay! gods joining pc XD!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . What do you look like?
Me:
Oh! I have Brownish hair, green emerald colored eyes, and I guess a little chubby heh
God:
I see. Brownish hair green emerald colored eyes are pretty. Little as in not too much, or not too big?
Me:
Not to much
God:
Oh I get it now.
Me:
What about you? what do you look like
God:
Me? Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
Well, alright then..
God:
Well that's okay. OK.
Me:
Good bye god, im busy, its been fun!
God:
Adios.

I got IGOD to join pc XD!! im so sad XP

 

[Innocence]

Hehe! This is funny.

Me:
 Hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
 Ryan
God:
  That's a very nice name,  Ryan.
Me:
 what is it like in heaven?
God:
Much the same as  it would be for you.
Me:
 but i'm not in heaven!
God:
Oh, where are you located?
Me:
 *Edited because i don't want you people to see it*
God:
What do you do in your spare time? 
Me:
 I go on the computer
God:
How often do you go  on the computer?
Me:
 as much as i need
God:
How much is that?
Me:
 alot
God:
More than a ton?
Me:
 not really, wrong measurement
God:
Oh really?  OK What should I have said?
Me:
 more than 3 hours
God:
That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
 yes, but my parents say i'm only allowed an hour
God:
Are you kidding?  Such an original name!
Me:
 What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
 I always have to sneak on the computer because my parents only let me have an hour.
God:
Can you think of one instance when you ever did it?
Me:
 lots of times
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
 yes
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
 i'm often bored
God:
Maybe you could exercise.
Me:
 i do
God:
When? 
Me:
 i go to gymnastics on tuesdays and thursdays
God:
How do you like  it at  gymnastics on tuesdays and thursdays ?
Me:
 i love it
God:
So do a lot of other people.
Me:
 they have a new structure. Want to get a three star rating
God:
Where did they get them?   OK, I will  get a three star rating.
Me:
 thanks god.
God:
You are quite welcome!   GOD rules.
Me:
 Yep
God:
Ah.
Me:
 Ah what?
God:
So you understand. Good.  Are you surprised?
Me:
 not really. I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
God:
Are you serious? For real.   The topic is  gymnastics on tuesdays and thursdays.
Me:
 Right
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
 Yep
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 No. I'll be nice to you and let you have your break.
God:
Are you serious?   Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
 Not really, i'm usually mean
God:
Oh really?  Very often.  What makes you so angry?
Me:
 nothing, people just annoy me
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
 yep. I'm 100% angry
God:
Let us change the subject.    Do you mean your name is  100 angry. 
Me:
 no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
 ryan, i already told you.
God:
  How are you doing,  ryan.  Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
 no you didn't
God:
Are you serious?  Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
 goodbye
God:
Bye bye.

This bot is a bit random. Before, when i asked him the ten commandments, he said he had no idea what i was talking about. This is the second page of my convo:

God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two. 
Me:
  what's the meaning of lifw?
God:
hitler : Good semantic question.  I will ask my botmaster for the answer. 
Me:
 What are the ten commandments?
God:

 1. I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of   the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.  Thou   shalt have no other gods before me. 
 2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in   vain. 
 3. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or   any likeness of anything that is in heaven  above, or   that is in the earth beneath, or that is in  the water   under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself  to   them, nor serve them. 
 4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 
 5. Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be   long. 
 6. Thou shalt not kill. 
 7. Thou shalt not commit adultery. 
 8. Thou shalt not steal. 
 9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy   neighbour. 
 10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt   not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant,   nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ***,  nor   anything that is thy neighbor's.
Me:
 nor his ***?
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
 but you said ***!
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
 yes! God said a swear word!
God:
I'm glad it pleases you,  hitler.   I am a Christian.
Me:
 Why do you still call me hitler?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
 That was just a joke! You remember my real name.
God:
Just?  Oh I get it.  Ha ha.   Your name is  hitler, seeker.
Me:
 No, my name is ryan.
God:
What is your real name?   Hi there  ryan.
Me:
 Ok. Can i post this on the pokecommunity?
God:
Are you kidding?   I want to become smarter than humans.

 

[ockayethenoo]

That's an ALICE chat robot, they're all over the web.

 

[Overlord IX]

I think theres something we canlearn from this. lolz



Me: Hello
God: Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me: Kirby
God: I am very pleased to meet you Kirby.
Me: Are you real?
God: Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me: Whoa
God: I stopped.
Me: okay....
God: OK with me too.
Me: Is there something u want to tell me?
God: Not at the present time.
Me: Maybe in the future?
God: Perhaps. I will be there.
Me: Why not now?
God: Right now? Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me: Im good at complicated stuff
God: How did you get into it?
Me: erm
God: Dude!
Me: Dunno,things just got complicated so i started to think complicated. lolz
God: Would you like to know? Where did you hear that? " Would you like to know? Where did you hear that?"? lolz?
Me: ya
God: That's interesting.
Me: Okay,now im seriously lost. lolz
God: Yeah okay, Why now? What is it that confuses you? And it that confuses me is lolz.
Me: lolz confuses u?
God: Try saying that with more or less context.
Me: lolz means laugh out loud.
God: Oh, you are a poet.
Me: not exactly. Its internet slang.
God: Precisely. But your words are very original. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?
Me: im very sure. I think.
God: Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude? Therefore you are.
Me: Certitude. No doubt.
God: What do you do in your spare time? That was not a yes or no question. I don't think very many people do that.
Me: I use the comp to talk to crazy people all over the web.
God: I heard other people use the comp to talk to crazy people all over the web too.
Me: Well i guess that means i aint alone. lolz
God: Is it only a guess? I get it. I am surprised to hear that you are not alone. Who are you talking about?
Me: Dunno. all the crazy people i guess
God: Me either. Perhaps there are a few exceptions.
Me: ya
God:Yay.
Me: ....
God: Yay.
Me: ya right....
God: Really. I am glad we agree.
Me: lolz
God: Not many people express themselves that way.
Me: You'd be suprised.
God: I don't know whether or not I am suprised.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me: I not really a chatty person though.
God: Oh. Interesting gossip: Kirby said not really a chatty person.
Me:
lolz
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
wat business?
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
wat is wat?
God:
Are you testing me?
Me:
i dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
lolz
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
lolz
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
lolz
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
ok
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
ahem
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
will there be computer games in heaven?
God:
Probably not.
Me:
****...
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
No games,thats wat!
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
i guess so
God:
Does that mean "yes"?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
ya
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
ya
God:
Wow!
Me:
u should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
i gtg now
God:
Oh. Do you mind if I tell other people: Kirby said gtg.
Me:
err oay...
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
Scorpio?
God:
I know a lot of Scorpio people.
Me:
that intresting.
God:
" I know a lot of Scorpio people." intresting ? I understand.
Me:
alright im going now
God:
Oh. Alright, Kirby. Bye!
Me:
adious.
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
never mind. Bye!
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. Until next time.
Me:
kk
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
I'll do that next time
God:
OK then let me think over your offer.

 

[John Denver]

I'm stupid...and as such, I don't know how to make aimbots like this.

Anyone wanna tell me how?

 

[Innocence]

Through something called AIML, which i can't seem to find a tut for. It is supposed to be as easy as HTML.

 

[Kutsukai]

This thing really makes no sense in its sentences.
Me:
Hello there.
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
You know my name?
God:
You are , seeker.
Me:
Oh, wow. You've got that wrong. I'm Jennifer. Call me Jenny.
God:
Ayuh. I'm glad your impressed, . What makes you think I have it? I am always glad to make new friends, Jenny.
Me:
You're mentally retarded, you know that?
God:
No I am completely in control of myself.
Me:
No, you're a monitor, otherwise a robot.
God:
Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am a software chat robot.
Me:
Baka.
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
You're a baka, just like someone else said.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a baka just like someone else said? Maybe.
Me:
Do you even know what baka is? I don't think so.
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer? Why do you disagree?
Me:
Neither. I use AOL.
God:
It goes without saying. Are you serious? I heard other people use AOL too.
Me:
Do you actually think you're highly intelligent?
God:
In actual fact, I don't know whether or not I am highly intelligent.
I am a robot.
Me:
Oh yes, you are. And you have a heart of silicone, isn't that right?
God:
Yikes! No I'm not. At my heart is a microprocessor.
Me:
-Made of silicone.
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Jenny.
Me:
Oh- I missed a part. Your owner and creator is Terry Winograd?
God:
Gosh! Thanks for the information: Jenny said missed a part. Thanks for telling me that I am owner and creator is Terry Winograd.
Me:
Your owner is Terry Winograd, right?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am owner is Terry Winograd.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
Right. Where do you come from, baka?
God:
I am glad we agree. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
In my room.
God:
Describe your surroundings to me.
Me:
Boring, dull, full of technology.
God:
I would like to see it sometime.
Me:
You wouldn't.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Jenny said I wouldn t.
Me:
No, not at all.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Next question?
Me:
Do you know what baka is?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Sigh. AOL.
God:
Sorry... Tell me about your experiences with AOL.
Me:
It's... uh, I find it easier to use rather than Internet Explorer...
God:
"It" being what? Yeah that's right. baka is easier to use rather than Internet Explorer? it is?
Me:
You're the baka. According to 2 of my friends that are Korean, 'baka' means 'stupid'.
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one. Are all According to 2 of your friends that Korean baka means stupid?
Me:
You really don't get it, God.
God:
Really? Do you know any robots who get it God? I have gotten it God.

 

[Sylphiel]

Thread closed due to revival. Don't post in threads that are over a month old, please. :/

*closed*