Team Magma´s Journey (PG 13)

[Blaze Dragon]

This story relates the journey of Matias, a teenager wanting to become a Team Magma member as his friends. All of them loves Fire Pokemon, and wants to make the world a hotter place to live.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Prolouge: The Flames of the Earth
Five years ago, Team Magma, commanded by Maxie Blaze, wanted to control the world using Groudon as his weapon. He wasn´t alone, as his Admins, Tabitha Spark, Courtney Cuame and Hank Goldflame, were with him. They were defeated by 2 kids, Brendan Birch and May Richards, that controlled the Red Orb. Now, Team Magma wasn´t seen very much, but they were waiting, to return.

Matias Blaze, son of Maxie, was hearing this history in his History Class. He was hated by almost every person on the school because being of his family. His only friends were Gonzalo Goldflame, son of Hank, Lucas Cuame, son of Courtney, and Julian Spark, son of Tabitha. For that, they were more playing with their Pokemon that with the other kids. Matias´best friend was his Torchic, while Gonzalo´s was his Cyndaquil, Lucas´was his Houndour and Julian´s was his Growlithe. They had trained and lived with their Pokemon since they were born, and they were given by their parents. All were in 8th grade, and about to enter Team Magma.

"We are getting late, guys, come on" said Matias, very happy because he was entering his father team

"We can use my car to get to the quarter" said Lucas, that was very rich

They were running to Lucas´car when we were pushed away by Water Guns, coming from the right, we were on the floor when some guys started to talk

"Hmph, do you really think you can enter your stupid team? Team Magma died long time ago, Team Aqua will return, you Magma sons sh*t" said Martin Tsunami, son of Archie Tsunami, who was leader of Team Aqua, rival of Team Magma. He was wth his Pokemon, Mudkip, with his friends, all sons of Aqua Admins, Santiago Whirpool, son of Sean, with a Totodile; Andreas Wave, called Andy, son of Matts, with a Poliwag; and Federico Hellwater, son of Shelly, with a Spheal. Aqua sons and Magma sons were enemys since 1st grade, and always stronger.

"Mom, help! Team Aqua is attacking us!" shouted Lucas, not really scared but hurt

A woman came from Lucas´car. She had a long, red dress; a red t-shirt; short, black hair and was biting a gum. She throwed three Pokeballs, all with the Magma emblem, from the ones appeared a Ninetails, a Swellow and a Mightyena.

"Mrs. Courtney, don´t kill us, please, we will stop to bother Lucas!" said Andy, very scared. He fell on the floor.

"Not only my son, don´t bother Boss´son too, or I´ll have to give a lesson to you" said Courtney, enraged
"Come on, to the quarter"

They ran to Courtney´s car, not before burning the Aqua´s face with Embers. They entered and went through a secret passage to Team Magma´s new quarter. There were lots of Team Magma´s grunts, training their Pokemon, but all stopped and gave reverence to Courtney.

"Let us enter, boss, is me, Courtney with the high ranked sons" said Courtney,her words triggered a door to open. On the new room, the Magma Admins and Maxie were discussing. There were chairs, desks and torchs made of gold.

"You´re starting your work now, so now you are Rank C Magma Grunts, or in-training Magmas, to be exact" said Maxie, with a proud look on his face "And you, my son, are now a Rank C+ Magma Grunt, or the leader of the in-training Magmas, to say the truth. Now, know him"

Another door opened, and a Magma Grunt, that seemed 2 years older than them, entered the leader´s room.

"I´m Marcos, an expert on double battles, and a B+ Magma Grunt. I´ll be your teacher, quack" said the new Magma Grunt, it was using glasses, and the normal Magma uniform. He had tanned skin, a big nose, and short hair

"He will be your teacher, if he do it well, he will be promoted to an Admin, or A Rank Magma, if he do it wrong, well, it won´t be good" said Maxie in a evil tone "Now, go to train!"

They went to train, and that is how their adventure began...

 

[Salamence God]

Umm... Are you gonna make forms for us to be Magma or Aqua members or not? If not and I can be one of the other Magma or the Aqua kids can I be Lucas, since I really like Houndour.

 

[Iron Tiff]

So far, so good! I'm rooting for Team Magma, for obvious reasons... *points to siggy* XD

 

[Salamence God]

Oh man.... Stupid me.... I thought this place was Role Play!

 

[Kalylia]

Okay, so I'm going to give you a decent review. Don't think that I'm trying to be harsh, I'd just like to help you improve.

First of all, we have many, many grammatical issues here... I'll just point out a few.

that controlled the Red Orb. Now, Team Magma wasn´t seen very much, but they were waiting, to return.

Should probably read more along the lines of... "who controlled the Red Orb. Now, Team Magma wasn't seen very often, but they were waiting to return."

Just for reference, any time you want to show possession, you need to use an 's. Like Lucas's, Matias's. Unless of course you're using a pronoun. Then, try his, hers, ours, theirs, mine, yours... The only time you use an s' is when the word is pluraled with an "s". Like dogs', teams', leaves'. But remember, if the word is plural without an "s", like "children", then you still need to use 's. (children's).

All in all, the fic seems rushed. Most of it is dialogue, and we hardly get any idea as to what the characters are thinking and feeling. I think this chapter should be split up into two, one going into deeper detail about how Team Magma was defeated, and the other going into much more detail about the children becoming Grunts.

The idea itself, however, is rather unique and intriguing. I hope you keep what I've said in mind and try to improve.

~Keep it up!~

 

[Blaze Dragon]

I know my grammar isn´t good. Mainly is because my first language is Spanish. And I was teached that if words end in S it goes with ´only, not ´s. Also, I know it can be quite rushed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 1: The Birch Mission

Matias and the others Magma sons, with Marcos, were in the Magma Training room. It had gold doors and many arenas. One door opened and appeared three people: one was a women, it looked as the same age as Marcos, she had blond, long, tied hair; a big head; she was tall and thin, and was using the Magma uniform. The second was a boy of 15 years too, he had short, black hair; had spots on his face and was as tall as Julian. The last person was a boy, dressed as a clown, short, with long, black hair, he was smiling and laughing. Marcos stepped to they and started to talk about them

"Heh, they are your other teachers: She is Rocio, he is David and the clown is Maxi, quack" said Marcos

"I´m Rocio, and I was Marcos friend since 1st grade, I´ve a boyfriend and I´m a class B by now. I´ll be teaching you the best ways to obtain information" said Rocio

"David, hello! So much time, haven´t it?" said Julian, it looked like he knew who was David

"Hello Julian, how was? I´m failing every Magma test, **** it, so the boss said that this is my only way to not go back to be a class C, like you. I´ll be teaching you strategies, cool, huh?" said David

"Emm, how do you know each other?" questioned Gonzalo

"My dad is friend of his dad" said David, laughing

"I´m Maxi, like the boss, but without -E, I will be teaching you how to distract opponents, hahaha" said Maxi, laughing out loud

All four teachers presented a Pokeball with the Magma Emblem, saying that they have to choose one, as every Magma class C does. The Pokeballs had a Poochyena, a Zubat, an Eevee and a Zigzagoon. Every one has to choose wisely, as they won´t had a second oportunity. Matias took Eevee, Gonzalo undecidedly took Zubat, Lucas happily took Zigzagoon and Julian decidely took Poochyena. The gold door opened again and Courtney entered

"You won´t have a second opportunity, so that is. Now, for your first mission, you´ll have to go to Proffesor Birch´s lab and steal one of his Pokemons" said Courtney

"There are rumors that he received new Pokemons of the Shinou Region, and that he recieved four of them. It would be pretty easy now, so go" said Rocio

All were about to go when the heat started to increase and a great amount of Magma Grunts, all with Pokeballs on their hands, appeared.

"Hmm, heat and no-where coming people, hmm" Gonzalo whispered

All the Magma Grunts threw their Pokeballs and sent out Zubats and Poochyenas on any places in the room. All were very scared, when Gonzalo shouted

"Dad, this isn´t funny" shouted Gonzalo

The room started to cool and, on the right, appeared Hank Goldflame, a Magma Admin and Gonzalo´s father, and his Magcargo, laughing

"That wasn´t funny Hank, don´t do it again, you f*cker" said Courtney, strangely laughing "Now go to your mission guys, go with them Hank"

With that words; Matias, Gonzalo, Julian, Lucas and Hank went to Proffesor Birch lab riding on Hank and Courtney´s Swellows. They went to Oldale Town, that now had two giant mansions and and a big lab. When we were near to it Gonzalo´s Pokegear rang. It was David

"Gonzalo, your Zubat can use Supersonic to sense the area, use it, cool, huh?" said David, and cut the call

"If he does...then go Zubat" saying that, Gonzalo sent out his Zubat. "Use Supersonic to sense the area"

Zubat sended a blast of waves that let him saw all the place, then he said, in Pokemon language, what he saw

"So thats it, easy, now son, teach me what you got!" said Hank, that could understand what Zubat said

Gonzalo sent out his Cyndaquil to help him, and wanted Zubat to sonic again the place, letting he know that the only person there was Proffesor Birch.

"Hmm, dad would use an illusion, I can try" whispered Gonzalo "Cyndaquil, let´s try that tech!"

Cyndaquil used Fire Illusion, making Proffesor Birch think that Gonzalo was Brendan and Hank was Norman. Both jumped of their Swellow and and entered the lab

"Hello Brendan, Norman, what´s up?" said Proffesor Birch, not knowing that he was talking to the Goldflames

"Dad, can you give me the new Pokemons? I will give one to May, and one for Wally" said Gonzalo, in his prettiest voice

"Huh? I was going to give them to you three since the beginning, but OK, here you have them" said Birch, giving them the Pokeballs

"Thanks B*tch, see you soon" said Hank

"What the? You aren´t Norman and my son!" shouted Birch, making Gonzalo´s Cyndaquil lose its focus and the illusion ended, making the Goldflames visible "Magma Admin Hank, go out! Return the Pokeballs!

"Never, go" said the Goldflames "Armaldo!" shouted Hank "Cyndaquil!" shout Gonzalo

"You aren´t the only ones with Pokemon! Go Wailord and Tropius!" shouted Birch, sending Pokeballs but with the Pokemon Silcoon and Cascoon "Ouch, May must have my Pokeballs, again!"

"Umm, that isn´t strong, is it?" questioned Gonzalo "Guess is not, attack Cyndaquil, Blast Burn!"

Cyndaquil spited a blast of flames spreaded everywhere, defeating both cocoons. Cyndaquil growled and started to flash in a white light

"Cyndaquil, evolving at least!" said Gonzalo, happily "Now, let´s go dad"

The light subsided and a newly evolved Quilava appeared, very tired for the Blast Burn

"Return your Pokemon and run son!" shouted Hank, while his Armaldo used a Water Pulse to trap Birch

"Cyndaquil, oh, I mean, Quilava, return!" said Gonzalo, returning his Quilava to his Pokeball and running away with his father, that returned Armaldo

They flight away with Hank´s Swellow and Gonzalo´s Zubat to the quarter. They entered and went to their teachers.

"Here are the Pokemon, go!" said Gonzalo, throwing the Pokeballs that contained a little Snorlax, a bonsai and a clown

"This are Munchlax, Bonsly and Mime Jr, Pokemon of the Shinou region. These Pokemon evolves into Snorlax, Sudowoodo and Mr. Mime, respectively, quack" said Marcos, serious

"I´ll keep Bonsly, if I can" said Gonzalo

"How cute, I´ll keep this little Munchlax" said Julian, with a kind face

"This Pokemon is for me! With Ludicolo and Jynx this little will make my fun!" said Maxi

Next mission can be harder, will they suceed? See the next chapter for knowing!

 

[Blaze Dragon]

Don´t double post Salamence God, and here is the next chapter (No offence to Julian fans, heh if he has some)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 2: The envy and the traitor

Julian was at his house, at the night. It was big, with a doghouse and a big garden. His room was big, with posters of dogs, Final Fantasy VIII and Kingdom Hearts, and a bright fire-red wallpaper. He was on his bed, murmuring why Matias was chosen as his leader, while he was stronger and prettier. He remembered something that his father, Tabitha, said a long time ago...

"If you´re stronger, fight the weak leader! I can´t do that with Maxie, as he is stronger than I" Julian remembered

His face expression started to change for furious, almost crying into happy, evil happy.
The next day, Julian went to the Magma battling arena. It was red, with darker borders and a Pokeball drawed in the middle. Julian threw a Pokeball, sending his Growlithe, Tobias. It seemed brighter and stronger than before. Julian, with a happy face, rised his left hand

"Tobias, use Fire Works! Let them say: Matias, I challenge you, come to the arena, nerd!" shouted Julian

His Growlithe was confused about this, but still did it. He opened his mouth and started to throw flares that exploded in the air, making the message.
On the other side of the Magma Headquarters, in the training arena, Matias and Marcos were about to fight. This arena was identical to the other one, except that this had gold instead of dark red

"Just to train, 2 on 2, quack" said Marcos "You begin, please"

"Let´s hope this is funny! Go Blaze, go Moon!" Matias shouted, sending his Torchic and Eevee

"Go Chick and Turtle! Quack!" said Marcos, throwing two Pokeballs that had the Magma emblem on it. Of them appeared a Combusken and a Wartortle

"Some easy moves first, quack! Ember and Water Gun!" said Marcos, while his Pokemon performed the attacks

Combusken was about to spit some little flameballs and Wartortle, a Water shot when they, along with the trainers, saw the message in the sky. While they were running to the stadium, they returned their Pokemon

"We aren´t going to get there, proffesor. It is more than a kilometer of here" said Matias, starting to get tired of running

"You´re right, quack...but we don´t have any other methods hahaha" said Marcos, with a funny face

"Oh yeah we have. Go Mind, Teleport!" said Matias, while throwing a Pokeball.

The Pokeball smashed on the floor and opened. From it appeared a yellow humanshaped thing with long, pointy ears, a strange armor in his torso and slept, an Abra. Marcos saw it, surprised that Matias had caught another Pokemon without him knowing it. Mind started to bright in a blue colour, along with Matias and Marcos, and all of them disappeared. They re-appeared on the Magma Battling Arena, with a lot of people waiting; including Maxie, Tabitha and obviously, Julian. Matias returned Mind without letting anyone seeing him

"At least you got here, you are way too slow. Now I challenge you and if I win, I´ll be the leader" said Julian, laughing

"I don´t battle for envy, only for job or play, never for this. Grow up, and bye" said Matias, with an angry face and going away of the arena

"You will, Munchlax used Ice Punch on the doors while we were talking, now fight or die" said Julian, starting to get angry

"Hmph, no I won´t. Dad, please" said Matias, with his eyes closed and facing away from Julian

"Battle son, for your pride. I could defeat his father, show that you have Blaze blood in your veins!" said Maxie, putting a half angry, half excited face

"If I must, 3 on 3, go Claws!" said Matias, starting to focus on the battle and throwing a Pokeball with a yellow, thunder mark on the red part. From it appeared a black cat, with big claws and a fan on his forehead, a Sneasel

"You have a Sneasel!? Then I will defeat it, go Munchlax use Solar Beam!" Julian said, summoning his Munchlax that was guarding the front door

Munchlax started to absorb sun light into his mouth, charging a bright, yellow ball

"Bad choice, Solar Beam is awfully slow, even more than I! Claws, while he charges start Slashing then Aglity, or Quick Attacking would be easier, but weaker, choose yourself!" said Matias, thinking and letting Munchlax charge a great part of his Solar Beam

Claws leaped forward and, in a white light, started to slash Munchlax quickly. Munchlax was ready to launch the Solar Beam.

"Agility!" shouted Matias, too late

Claws got hitted directly in the torso by the Light Blast, smashing him on a wall, that collapsed on him

"Claws you did a great job, return" said Matias, sad because his new Pokemon lost

"Don´t try with a new Pokemon, use a well trained one! Return Munchlax!" said Julian, laughing of Matias´ Sneasel

Matias started to get angry about that, and was about to go and punch Julian when his father stopped him, giving him a Pokeball

"If he is so strong, why would we don´t give him what he wants? Or what he deserves..." said Maxie giving his son a Pokeball with the Magma symbol

Matias threw the new Pokeball at the same time as Julian threw his, of the first appeared a dark, demon-like dog with horns and a demon tail, a Houndoom, while of the latter appeared a smaller and not so demon-like dark dog, its pre-evolution, a Houndour.

"T-That´s cheating!" said Julian, scared

"Too late folk, attack Houndoom! Use Hell Burner!" shouted Matias, giving his most pressumed face

Houndoom reacted when he heared the words "Hell Burner", the secret tech of the Blaze family, and inmeadetly knew that he was Maxie´s son. Houndoom charged a black flame on his mouth, and throwed it on the ground as a giant wave that inmediately beated Houndour

"No! Return Houndour! One tied both, let´s finish this! Go Tobias, don´t fail me!" shouted Julian, that forgotten about the envy and simply was having fun with the fight

"Do you see Julian? This is better as a gme, or a sport. But still, we have something to finish! Blaze, don´t fail me!" said Matias, that was very happy too about this fight

Tobias charged to the battlefield and Blaze went out of his Pokeball. The four of them had flames on his eyes, they won´t give up until the end

"Tobias, use Quick Attack!" said Julian, while his Pokemon tackled Torchic at lighting-like speed, hitting and smashing Blaze on the wall

"No, Counter Blaze! Revenge!" said Matias, starting to get impatient about the battle

Blaze´s claw started to shine and scratched Growlithe, whom keeped living, but weak

"Both Pokemon are very weak and they only made one move, that only can mean two things" said Maxie, very preocupated

"Or they are very powerful" completed Tabitha, half proud of his son and half preocupated for him

"Or the writer is too lazy to complete it!" completed Maxi, that simply appeared out of nowhere

"Last attack, Blaze we can´t fail, even if you didn´t master it, is our only choice...use Hell Burner!" said Matias, very preocupated about his Torchic, that couldn´t master the attack

"Hmph, easy as pie. Use Flame Wheel!" said Julian, enraged that Matias wanted to use that attack...again

Torchic threw the black waving flame onto the F-Wheeling Growlithe, knocking it and winning the battle. Blaze fainted on the floor, exhausted for the Hell Burner

"Blaze, you are simply the best, return" said Matias, returning the Torchic to his Pokeball

"You won, now I see why you are our leader, you´re smart, but I´m still prettier!" said Julian, going out of the room

"No one says that you´re wrong" said Matias, happy
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, can someone say what is my idea about their Pokemon?

 

[Salamence God]

I didn't DP. You did, Blaze Dragon. Not me.