The Bad Advice Game

Hack into the school's database and change them there.

I'm have bad handwriting.
 
Jump into a lake of fire.

A chick slapped me for checking her out.
 
Go out with your girlfriend's best friend.

I just baked my cat in a pie.
 
Sneak it into the clowns pie supply, so when they throw it, the cats remains will lead to hilarious clown controversy.

My last answer was longer than needed.
 
Make sure your needs are so overly large that nothing is good enough for you!

I have a sore stomach...
 
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