The Beginning of the End

NTA

Where?
    • 264
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    17
    Years
    • Seen Feb 10, 2012
    As I walk down the hallways at this high school, I count down the time until my ticking fantasy became part of my reality. The people in these classrooms... not even caring about their education, staring absentmindedly at the teacher or texting on their Blackberry's and Android's, unaware that within an hour, they would no longer be apart of this world. I have such an indescribable hate towards these people. Why? Do I really need to give an obvious reason? I think not. I walk upstairs with a joyful expression as I pass by the Principal. "Where is your pass?", she asks. My adrenaline starts to awaken as I ask myself if I should allow her to be alive for my event that I've planned for later. "Don't act like you don't hear me--", she stops, unable to finish the sentence with her head attached by a few strands of flesh still attached to her neck. My smile returns as I quickly and efficiently dispose of the body and clean up the mess attached.
    It feels so good to be in control of life sometimes....


    Thought of this while I was doing something at the pc a few days ago :D
    The format got kinda messed up somehow :(
    I also have it here
     
    I'm guessing that you're ready to write this out and aren't just asking a question on how it sounds, so I moved it to the main subforum and added the prefix for you.

    If the formatting gets messed up, you can check it before posting by using the preview post button, or editing your post after posting it. I'm guessing the formatting might have gotten messed up simply by copying over from where you originally had it. Forums are weird like that sometimes.

    There are a few grammar issues here and there. Like "principal" doesn't need to be capitalized, and you don't need a comma after using a question mark. I'm not sure on the proper punctuation of Android or Blackberry.

    You have the beginnings of something interesting here. It falls just a little short when it starts getting interesting. There could be more added to this, but I'll see where the next part goes before making any more comments. Maybe things'll get explained more later, and you were just quickly grabbing readers.

    Hope this helps a bit.
     
    Thanks! i'll do the best I can to make it worthwhile :D
     
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