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the ever sadness of today

today it has marked one year of my best friend who was like a little brother passed away while me and my friends are stuck with a person of evil that he doesnt know that my buddy who passed away didnt like him as much as he thinks i still remember getting woke up by the sound of the door bell or knock on door at around 6 or 7am from a cop asking if i knew what my buddy had the night before which was not completely sure if he had anything other than some beer and his usual smoking weed but i also told the cop he has been known to take xanax though i wasnt sure if he had any that night and this was a rather dramatic shock as the night before we where celebrating he was getting his job back with his cousin after the job he had at a family business went south we had pizza, breadsticks, and the big cookie from pizzahut along with a 2 liter of pepsi and he had his beer and weed to smoke (i dont smoke weed) when i headed home for the night since his bedroom had a broken window it was to cold to sleep in everything seemed fine he continued to bump music and stuff while i headed to bed never expecting to wake up to what i did on February 25th 2016 a meeting i was suppose to have that day had to be rescheduled because i was honestly a complete mess my sister ended up taking me to her house that day because she didnt want me being home alone in the state i was in (my mom was at work at the time) i told my friends at a local tattoo shop that i wouldnt be coming to the shop today due to losing my best friend who was like a lil bro passed away which they understanded and i told them i would be with my sister for my own safety because i was severely hurting. these days ive started reverting back to my previous self before his support and watching love live had which helped me get out to conventions and things which i usually had avoided my nervousness for this one con is kinda at max at this point