The Joke Thread

[viridian doubletongue]

I got one.

A duck walks into a bar & says "Got any bread."
The barman says no.

The next day the same duck walks into the same bar & says "Got any bread."
The barman says NO.

The next day the same duck walks into the same bar & says "Got any bread."
The barman says "If you ask one more time I will hammer your beak to the bar & shoot you.

The next day the same duck walks into the same bar & says "Got nails & a shotgun."
The barman says no.
So the duck says "Well then have you got any bread."

Got another one that me & my friends made up.

Imagine a TV newsreader saying...
"Cracking news, bird lays egg in midflight."

 

[Munashii]

Okay, maybe you've heard this before, and I'll call it a little uh.. stupid...

Ding dong bell, kitty's in the well,
but luckily we poured disinfectant down to cover up the smell!

XD the poor thing.

 

[.::Tsunami::.]

i don't have any but all of yours are heaps funny

 

[Joey the Cockroach]

here are a good few jokes:
1. how do you get two whales in a car?
drive down south then turn right!
2. what goes snap, crackle and pop?
a firefly with a short circuit!
3.what do Sunderland fans do after they have won the premier league?
turn off the PS2 and go to bed!

 

[Dignity]

XD Some of those are really funny, some of those are really insane. Anyhow, I have a few jokes for you

-sigh- Here's a "yo momma" joke.

Yo mama is so bald, you could see what she's thinking. XDDD;

Why were the people at the orange juice factory fired?
Because they couldn't concentrate!
XD; That's all I have for now~ X3