Cyrano De Bergiac is 'bout this guy named Cyrano... and he has like... a HUGE nose. He's in love with a young lady named Roxane, but he doesn't want to admit it... because he thinks she'll laugh at him or something. Roxane is in love with a man named Christian, who is in love with her. Though Cristian is a total idiot. And Roxane expects him to write poetry to her and stuff. So Cyrano comes up with this plan... he writes the love letters and Christian signs them. Roxane eventually marries Christian, but he's killed in a battle (they're at war and stuff) So Roxane spends the next few years in sorrow, and Cyrano comes to visit to make her feel better. Cyrano is gravely injured (someone whacked him over the head and he's bleeding and stuff, it's really bad...) but he goes to see Roxane anyway because he promised. Roxane gives him the final love letter that "Christian" gave her, to read it out loud to her and stuff. Cyrano does, and Roxane realizes that he's quoting from memory, and she realizes that it was Cyrano that wrote her the letters. But Cyrano's dying and yeah... Roxane is freaked out because, well, wouldn't you had just discovered the true love of your life and they're dying? Sad. So Cyrano dies and it's sad...
I GET TO BE ROXANE!