• Our friends from the Johto Times are hosting a favorite Pokémon poll - and we'd love for you to participate! Click here for information on how to vote for your favorites!
  • PokéCommunity supports the Stop Killing Games movement. If you're a resident of the UK or EU, consider signing one of the petitions to stop publishers from destroying games. Click here for more information!
  • Welcome to PokéCommunity! Register now and join one of the best fan communities on the 'net to talk Pokémon and more! We are not affiliated with The Pokémon Company or Nintendo.
    Register

The Seasons

Midori Chi

^.^
    • 5,521
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Summer is the time for kids to play,
    for staying up almost everyday.
    Fall is for going back to school,
    and the most kids think that this part is cruel.
    Winter is for wearing jeans and long sleeves,
    and most of the trees lose all their leaves.
    Spring is time for happy and joy,
    and no more school...Oh boy! Oh boy!
     
    Could use a little bit of work, but its a good start. ^^ I'm sure you'll improve once you start doing more work. Poetry is very hard to write, and needs some concentration. Keep on trying. ^^
     
    hey! really cool poem! I agree with legendary_pokegirl, a little more concentration and is perfect!
     
    I was never a fan of rhymes so my opinion is biased, but, in general the poem is very rudimentary. A good bit more thought and length would most definitely improve the piece. Trees lose foilage in fall rather than winter, and in a temperate climate, one begins wearing long pants and sweaters in autumn as well. Happy should be replaced with "happiness" as one cannot happy. In the second verse, "staying up..." just ends without any more thought. What is summer for? Why are you staying up? To when? Adverbs, infinitives, something along those lines. I really do not like the "Oh boy, oh boy" bit... I think you might be able to replace that with something more... Overall, these are just my opinions, and as always, please pardon my constructive critisism. I honestly mean no harm.
     
    Yeah...I just made this one night,not even thinking of how I wrote it. When I was typing this poem down,I thought,"This poem needs some help" So...I'm thinking of fixing it a little bit by taking out a few words and putting new ones in...

    P.S. Legendary Pokegirl,I didn't know you liked Inyuyasha!
     
    LOL, this poem was very bouncy, I liked it! Perhaps the third line from the top could use some fixing, it just sounds a bit choppy to me, but otherwise I like it! ^_^ 9/10

    ~Kelsey
     
    Ya mean the part about Summer? Well...I'll think about it...(hee hee! There's another Inyuyasha fan here!)
     
    I think it's a cute little rhyme. It's easy to remember for kids, anyway.
     
    You must log in or register to reply here.
    Back
    Top