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The Simpsons funny sayings

Homer: Mr. Hawk? Can I have a word with you?
Tony Hawk: An extreme word?
Homer: Ok, [Yells] MY SON BART IS A BIG FAN AND-
Tony Hawk: I didn't say extreme to the MAX!
 
Kent B. : And then last person is gonna comment
Bart: Lisa has a big butt every time she turns around, she goes putt putt
 
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Lisa: Oh No! this will be the worst place that dad will arrive through
Bart: Is the Elephant's Big Butt?
Lisa: Yes, the elephant's big butt
 
*Casablanca For Seniors plays*
-Frankly my dear, I don't give a- I love you! Let's get married!
Old woman: Oh, it is wonderful!
Hans Moleman: Didn't this movie used to have a war in it?
Sercurity Guard: You've been warned! Come with us!
 
selma joke

*Apu needs to become a citizen of america before the "getting rid of illegal immigrants" bill passes, so hommer decides that apu should mary selma becuase selma is amarican. so hommer calls selma

homer: selma my dear! how are ya! ..... Good, good.. Listen, shut up for a second!! How would you like to mary apu!?
 
Woman from X-file: Ok this is a simple lie detector. I'll ask you a yes or no truth question do you understand?
Homer: Yes
[Lie detector explodes]
 
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Homer: Whenever I learn some new stuff it pushes some old stuff out of my brain
 
Chinese Lady: So, Lisa, how do you feel about having a Chinese sister who will be ten times smarter than you?
Lisa: I don't know, I am pretty smart....
Chinese Lady: Tibet thought they were pretty independant, and how did that work out?!
 
Manager of the pet store: Are u just gonna lick them or buy them
Homer: Lick them GO
[Homer licking toads and frogs]
 
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this isnt a saying but its like homer's vision
homer's vision: Principal Skinner
Pros: uses strong words, dislikes the boy, well groomed.
Cons: typical Homer-Sexual.
 
Moe: Heywouldyoucuddleme anyone heywouldyoucuddleme
[looks at the men]
Moe: You there heywouldyoucuddleme
[lenny and carl laugh]
 
Moe: Moe's Tavern
Bart: is B there?
Moe: who?
Bart: B, last name O problem?
Moe: hang on ill check, B O problem? B O problem? do i have a B O problem here?
Barney: you sure do!
(Barney, Lenny + Carl laugh)
 
Homer: Hello
Bart: Hi I want to speak olliethabooger
Homer: wooooo my first prank call
Bart: Just ask anyone knows him
Homer: I dont get it
Bart: YELL OUT I'll EAT THE BOOGER
Homer: Whats a gag?
Bart: Oh forget it
[Bart put down the phone]
 
I like our most recent episode "Millhouse of Sand and Fog" and they have the OC spoof. I'll post lyrics when I get around to it. :p

EDIT:

'We've been on the run
Driving in the sun
Looking out for #1
California here we come
Right back where we started from

Hustlers grab your guns
Your shadow weighs a ton
Driving down the 101
California here we come
Right back where we started from

California!
Here we come!'

EDIT 2: Awww... I'm so disappointed. I thought they changed the lyrics. :p It is a real song. Either way, I love the clip they did. With Snoopy and stuff. :p
 
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Boy: Hello can i speak to Mr. Tinkle first name....... Ivana?
Moe: Hmmmm.... just a sec Ivana Tinkle? Ivana Tinkle? Now everybody put down your glasses Ivana Tinkle
[Boy,Bart & Homer laugh]
 
Bart: Today we will show you the most scariest you've ever see
[Homer looks at Dogs]
Homer: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! There are dogs and they play poker!!!
 
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