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The Simpsons funny sayings

Marge: Homer, I've got someone here who can help you?
Homer: Batman?
Marge: He's a scientist
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: It's not Batman!
 
Bart: this time, he's gone too far! we want Krusty! we want Krusty! we want Krusty!
Barney: yeah, we want Crunchy! we want Crunchy! we want Crunchy!
 
[After Tony Hawk drops Bart to school]
Bart: Thanks for the lift, Tony Hawk! I gotta go now, Tony Hawk. [to Milhouse] Cool guy, Tony Hawk.
Milhouse: Bart! You know Tony Hawk!
Bart: [whispers] Please, I'm trying to keep it quiet. [shouts] Catch you later, Tony Hawk!
Tony: Stay cool, Brett!
 
Bart gets a 500 dollar animation cel in the mail, but it turns out to be nothing more than Scratchy's arm. He then thinks of Nelson's reaction to it.

Nelson: "Hah hah!"

Immediately afterwards, the scene shifts to Nelson, who's having some kind of convulsion on the floor of the Kwik-E-Mart.

Nelson: "Hah... hah... hah... hah... hah..."

Apu: "Oh my god! This boy has had an overdose of squishey. This is.... very bad... for business."

That has gotta be the best Nelson laugh scene ever. XD
 
Bart: So do you live here?
Tony Hawk: Not really there were lots skateboarders in this room.
HEY Blink 182
(Vocal,Guitarist)Thomas: Dude! we have names
Tony Hawk: I know you can crank up
(Guitarist)Mark: Lets crash this party
(Drummer)Travis: After we do this
Mark: NIIIICE!
 
snake kidnaped homer and burn's fiance
[nake]: shut up or i'll pistol wipe you!
[homer]: AHH pistol wipe
homer pictures him self eating wipe with his gun
[homer]: ummm pistol wipe
 
Snake: Ok Gun check, power bar....check, a bage with dollar sign...check, ok this is it i'm off to........
[Snake looks at the bowling alley sign]
Snake: Bowling Alley? Whatever
 
Homer hits a guy with a chair.
Guy: WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!
Homer: I saw my advantage and I took it. That's what HEROS do!
 
Homer: Lisa if you dont like your job, you dont strike, you just go everyday and do a really half ***. Thats the american way
 
Marge:Will you go on and pick up my mother?
Grandpa:I'll be back in a gypee
*Grandpa comes with a strange lady*
Marge:That's not my mother
Grandpa:I'll be back in a gypee
Lady:Can I come too?
*Homer rolls up window
Lady:ohhh

NEXT ONE

*Homer is young and drunk*

Homer:ok everybody, let's go to Ihop, I'm driving!

NEXT ONE

Marge:I'll have coffee
Bartender:Beer?
Marge:No coffee
Bartender; Beer it is
Marge: Cof-fee
Batender:Be-er
Marge:C-o
bartender:B-e


That's all right now.
 
Homer: Huh? where is the remote.........
[Homer search and search, even the chair]
Homer: This is not a drill people
 
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