this idea I had fore a pg14 story about my friends

[Fortune Hunter2]

*door opens*
Zach:How on earth did she manage to blow it up?!??
Matthw:runs to closet and flings open trapdore and screams{ in a high pitched girly voice} It's gone It's all gone!!
Zach: well we did buy the store out of all it's beer and wine with fake lisences.
Stephen:{slurping on his girlfriend nicknamed Meatloaf} mumth fuwwph gurgle.
Seth: {translating} he said that he and meatloaf loved to fill their bathtub with it and g-{ gets hit over the head with a lead pipe} were going to play put put golf naked> falls in a heap in the floor.
Me:hey Anja why don't you come bunk with me tonight?
Anja:{sighs} OK
Stephen:{starts taking off his pants}
every one else: {Running running running}
Stephen:{screaming} More MOre MOre
Every one else: {sprintint sptinting sprinting}




Well what do you think of it so far??

 

[Lily]

Okay..first of all, stories like these either belong in Pokemon fanfiction or Other Writing. Since yours has nothing to do with Pokemon, this belongs in Other Writing. *moves*

Secondly, if it's an idea, then it's better to post it in the Other Writing Lounge to accumulate more opinions. Make sure to post the finished work, not a work in need of revision. ^^;

At any rate, I'd advise you to edit your work before posting...it's evident you put little to no effort, and the format for the script isn't even standard. ._.;