Umbreon's Adventure - Chapter 1

[.::t w i l i g h t::.]

_.::+ Umbreon's Adventure +::._

Note: I kind of hate this first part, and I just thought of the name Yuna, and then later I realized it was also the name of somebody in some game or something. ^_^; -_-;. Anywho, I don't own Pokemon. If I did, this story would be on TV and in theatres and in books, and this story is partly mine and partly my freind's, so Half or more of the credit goes to Aeritekruel. Also, there is a missing prolouge that I made. I hated it, so I took it out. Enjoy the fic! (the first chapter anyway)


Chapter 1

A few years later, after her father was tragically murdered, Yuna was by herself, even without her beloved parents. Her loss of her father set an impact on her life - the sweet and loving Yuna her parents once knew was now an unstoppable battler, looking forward to every new challenge.
Although a ruthless warrior she was, she still had her kind side to look at, but she never showed it. She was alone, not even with her mother; she had mysteriously disappeared... her last words to Yuna were "I'll be back soon...? Yuna waited the whole night for her, just so she could be safely in her mother's arms once more. But she never did come back...

Yuna had given up on helping out people and being loyal. That was all in the past. Both her parents were gone forever, and she had to face the truth: she'd never find anyone who could be her friend, or even love her. She was alone.

It was a lovely summer afternoon, and it was a perfect day for training for the big tournament Yuna was meaning to go to. There was only a week left, and she decided to train extra hard. She went through her old path: Out of the tree she lives in, across the grassy path, down the nettle-infested hill, and through a very complicated maze of some sort. Only she knew the whereabouts to her training place.

She was once more training in her secret area, when all of a sudden a noise came up from nowhere. She looked up, and saw an Eevee running for dear life from a huge flock of spearows. What the heck? That Eevee's gonna go right through my training area if it doesn't turn around! Thought Yuna, furiously. And, sure enough, it ran right to her. Yuna blasted a tree, which came crashing down on the spearows. That was the last of them. The Eevee, petrified, ran to the aid of the ragged-looking Umbreon placed before her eyes. But of course, Yuna, in her own stubborn manner, would never help anyone anymore.
"What do you want?" Exclaimed a very angry Yuna.
"Um... um... um... I-I was j-j-j-just training... for the tournament next week... I was h-hoping I could win... but I got chased by spearows... and...." The Eevee trailed off.
"Whatever. You're making no sense. Just go away, I'm training for it too, so let me have some peace, OK?"
Yuna turned away, as if to tell the little Eevee to get lost. ?Anyway. It?s not like you?re going to be guarded by me or anything. Not even if you got chased by a twenty-ton T-Rex or somethin?.?
?But, but, but, the Spearows keep chasing me and I need someone to protect me and?? Eevee remembered something about the competition, which she used to make sure the mysterious Umbreon would protect him, and also be with him on the tag team. ?Well, uh, did you know that you have to be in a tag team later on in the game?? said the Eevee.
Yuna glared at him.
?No, because there isn?t!? She said.
?Believe what you want, because when you get there you?ll be disqualified if you don?t find a partner?? Eevee said, looking away. She then looked at him.
?You sure??
?Yep.?
?Alright, alright, you can stay, but don?t tell anyone where this place is, understand?? She warned.
?OK, OK! I?ll try... Oh, and by the way, the name?s Kero. I hate my real name, so I use that one."
?OK, whatever, Kero. By the way, if you even want to get in the tournament, you have to be at least level 40, so let's get training."
"Alright..."
"What's your current level?"
"About 20-something."
"You got a lot of work to do in that case. Before you fight with me you have to prove yourself. You can stay in this territory but you must hunt your own prey, keep yourself safe, and find your own shelter.
Do this for three days and I'll fight with you. Every time you knock a Pokemon out you grow another level. So fight as much as you can."
She instructed in a military way. Training the young battler might be more fun than she thought.

"OK, three days... first I have to find shelter." Kero said to himself. "That's not so hard..." He went out, collecting pieces of rope. He took some fallen branches and leaned them against a tree, tying them with the rope. "I guess it'll do. Now I need to find something to eat..."
Kero walked down, and saw a dead Pidgey. ?Perfect...? He said to himself. He ate away at the Pidgey, quite famished.

After his food, he walked down a bit. He was looking for something to fight him. He soon came upon a pond. Kero looked down in the pond, and saw something swimming by. He put his paw in and touched the Something, and in return got water shot at his face. ?Hey! No fair! You did a sneak attack on me!? Kero shouted while rubbing his face.
The Something emerged from the water. ?Goldeen..? It said.
?Oh, it?s just a Goldeen. Either way,? He exclaimed, sounding as if he had a great responsibility, ?I?ve still gotta grow a level, or else I won?t get to fight Yuna!? Kero jumped in the pond. There was a great thrashing about, and then, as if so suddenly you couldn?t see it, Kero gripped the Goldeen by the gills, and threw it against a tree. The Goldeen used a water gun and shot him into the water. He quickly leaped up and used headbutt, hitting Goldeen hard on the head and knocking it out. "Yes!" Cheered the exasperated Kero. He won!


C&C please! Hope you like! (I'll add chapter 2 when I get some comments)

 

[emeraldslay]

Intresting! A good original fic! I like all the ideas you threw in, with the tournament and everything. A bit more description in the battles wouldn't hurt, but aside from that, it's great!

 

[doom_master]

i think that it's a good start! it could become a great story!don't give up (like me...) :\

 

[Act]

It wasn't bad. It's hard to write something you don't really like, but also know that that isn't an excuse. Yuna seems like a tad of a Goth Sue, but it might be a tad too early to judge. There was nothing exceptional, nothing utterly original about it. I'm usually on fanfiction.net, which is overflowing with angry-girl-wtihout-parent-meets-Pokemon stories, so I'd strive to put something extra into this to make it yours.

As for writing and grammar, you're grammar was fine (some people... I wonder how they get through school). Your writing showed potential. I think as you do more it will get better and better. You do a great job with description compared to most of the fics I come across, but here's my challenge for you-- describe more. Really get into your characters' thoughts, how they say things, and how they move. I'm not the best descriptive writer (good not great, hm?), so this is more of a do as I say, not as I do thing, but hey. No offense to me XD.

So all in all, spice it up a bit and it could be great. I'll def stick around for the next update.

 

[.::t w i l i g h t::.]

Chapter 2

4 days had passed, and Kero was now level 36. Kero was quite pleased with himself. The sun was setting, and instead of being wise and heading home to sleep, Kero wanted more fights. He took a drink of water and set out to look for more. He was very pleased with himself, and went to the tree-shed, which Yuna lived in. She stirred, about to go on her nocturnal training, and saw Kero before her. ?What do you want?? asked the irritated Yuna, glaring at Kero with her night-eyes.
?Well...? he explained, stuttering as he did so, ?I want to train more.?
?You idiot, it's way too dark for YOU to train. Leave it to the Umbreons to train at night, OK?? She said, getting up slowly. ?So go to your shelter thing and go to sleep. And anyway, it may be too dangerous for you. You shouldn't go unless you want to risk killing yourself.?
?Alright, Yuna... Whatever you say...? sighed Kero. But, of course, Kero wasn't actually going to sleep. He was going to train.

It was bleak and dark as rain fell on the ground worse than it had in a long time. Drops of water fell like millions of tiny grenades, bombarding anyone unfortunate enough to be outside in the dark, loomy forest. Heavy raindrops crashed against the insignificant bushes and tall trees, covering the trunk of the tall, towering trees in a slick, shiny skin. The clouds lay fat in the sky like huge alien craft shadowing the forest and its inhabitants from any sunlight and launching a huge attack on Earth. It was chaos, there were many Pokemon filling the grassy floor, everyone trying to get out of the heavy downfall from the heavens.

Kero was trying to avoid the hasty rush and the grenade-like rain, but it was terribly hard work. Kero gave up training and jumped on a tree branch. Droplets from the leaves above fell and crashed onto his furry body, splashing in all directions. He sighed, looking down onto the traffic of Pokemon below, trying to be first to get out of the unforgivable rain which pelted them, soaking them.
?Now what...? I'll never get to train, and the stupid rain is still crashing down on me, no matter what tree I hide under. I was better off hiding in my other shelter, the one I made... Yuna was right, I shouldn't've gone out...? He sighed once more, but much, much deeper and sorrowed as he did so.

Meanwhile, Yuna was struggling, straining herself in the harsh rain to get to Kero's shelter to check if he had listened and stayed inside. There was no ?traffic? where she was that would set her back from trying to find him. The rain did that for the thousands of millions of Pokemon. Yuna hastily ran to a nicely sheltered tree, with its leaves and branches covering every inch of the towering trunk. Yuna sat under it, and looked around for Kero?s shelter. It was nearby, but it was still very much so difficult to see through the rain and the overwhelming darkness. She strained her eyes to see through it all. Of course, as you all may know, Umbreons have ?night-eyes? to help them see through the darkness, which was indeed handy for Yuna. She saw a smallish shelter-looking home in the distance. Yuna ran towards it, hoping Kero was in it. She?d finally reached it! But to her disappointment, he had disappeared without a trace. Yuna was furious. Why didn?t Kero listen? He might as well have been killed, gone forever without anyone noticing. ?Hey, why should I help him? He got himself in this mess, he?ll get himself out..? She considered this for a second. She shook her head and went on anyway. She walked deeper into the forest as the rain got heavier and the trees became more common and narrowing to her.

It was getting late, and still Yuna was trying to find him. She heard the cries of ?Help! Help!? and ?Someone save me from this deathtrap!?. She figured it was that pathetic Kero. She walked towards to where the distress calls were coming from. She looked up. Nothing. She walked down a bit more, yet again hearing the cries of what could be Kero. But it wasn?t. It was a Growlithe, trying to protect itself from the disastrous rain. Growlithe was a fire-type, and they were weak against water, of course. This one was no exception. It looked at her, its eyes full of sorrow and despair. Yuna looked left, as if to tell him there was a shelter in the direction she was facing. Growlithe ran for its sanctuary.

Somewhere far off from where Yuna was looking, Kero saw the rings of something glowing, like a signal. It was indeed faint, but he didn?t care. It was the only signal he?d get that would possibly have led him to Yuna. Kero jumped off the useless tree and ran for life towards them. He ran and ran, crashing into other Pokemon. A Pokemon grabbed Kero?s shoulder. He turned around, scared. ?Machoke!? It said, tightening its grip on Kero. ?G-get off me... get off! Go! Go away! Plea-?
But before he could finish, he got a punch, straight in the face. He covered his face and stayed on the ground, blubbering.

Yuna heard something in the distance. A Machoke was babbling to its friends about how it bashed up an Eevee. ?It didn?t stand a chance!?, he said. Eevee? Kero! Kero was the pokemon! Without hesitating, she ran like a thunderbolt to her destination. ?Stupid kid.? She sighed, and prodded him on the chest three times.
?Yuna???
?Yeah, pipsqueak. It?s me. Get up.?
The rain was getting heavier than ever, and they knew it was a good time to get out of there and into their home.

After a while, they arrived in Kero?s home. Yuna was giving Kero a big lecture about-

?Didn?t I tell you to STAY in your shelter? Why did you disobey me and run off like an idiot doing who knows what out there? A Machoke even pummelled you.? She exclaimed, infuriated.
?I?m really sorry - I... I didn?t know it?d be this dangerous...?
?Whatever. I?m not having it. But, since you are stupid, I?ll give you one chance. Just don?t blow it, kid.?
?Hey! I?m not stupid!?
?Like I said, don?t blow your luck, kid.?
Kero mumbled to himself as Yuna walked away to her own shelter.

 

[.::t w i l i g h t::.]

No comments? Anyway, here's chapter 3! Enjoy.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*


Chapter 3

2 more days had passed quickly after the ?rainy? incident. Kero had learned his lesson, and rarely ever disobeyed Yuna. He didn?t disobey her at all, actually. There was only one day left, and Kero had finally reached his goal to become level 40. This time, there was warm air surrounding the forest. There were cool breezes at times as if someone was breathing out slowly onto the forest, which was laid out onto that someone?s hands. A summery atmosphere filled the whole forest with warmth and sunshine. It was a perfect day with no flaws. No darkness. No Pokemon. No rain.

Kero ran to Yuna, filled with joy. ?Yuna! Yuna! I?ve finally reached level 40! Can I please train with you, Yuna? Please, Yuna?? he said, budging her, trying to wake her up.
?Alright... OK... Hold on... I?m... tired... leave me alone... oh? What? ... Reached level 40, have we? ... Alright, whatever... ... ... I?ll, uh... yeah...? She said, yawning heavily, trying to make sense into her words as she did so. She got up and yawned, showing her sharp, flawless teeth. ?Alright,? she said between yawns, ?I?ll train you. Just don?t mess up, okay? We have only 1 day left. We?ll need to savor these last 24 hours. Capeesh?? She led him out of the shelter, and into a perfectly circulated area, like a training ring. The ground on it was clear of grass and plants and perfectly smooth.

Yuna started off with a quick attack without warning. Kero barely dodged it, and responded with a spray of sand. While Yuna was still rubbing the stinging sand from her eyes, Kero leapt at her with a quick attack of his own. Yuna?s eyes were still blurry, but her shadow ball struck the ear of it?s target, wounding him. He growled in frustration and lunged at Yuna full-force. She was headbutted against a tree and the wind was knocked out of her. She gasped for air and, her vision cleared, bit him sharply. He yelped and jerked away. Yuna quickly tackled him and he responded with a scratch.

This went on for quite a while with no definite lead. Near the end of the battle, they were both very tired and beat up. Yuna stood calmly all of a sudden and said, ?Alright, kid. You win.?
?Yes!? he yipped, and fell in a tired heap. He began to glow silver, Becoming engulfed in white light and, slowly standing, blinked his black eyes in the bright light. They were the only thing visible in the shining silhouette. Slowly, the glow faded and a fox like creature with pink fur and a ruby red jewel on its forehead stood before Yuna.

''An espeon, eh?" Yuna said, inspecting Kero?s new body.
"Espeon? Huh? But there's nobody here!" Kero said, looking around.
"Dimwit! Take a look at yourself!"
"Holy crap!" Kero gasped.
Yuna rolled her eyes.
"Take this." Yuna gave him an item to power up psychic moves.
?What's that?? He asked, totally confused.
?It will make you more powerful. You'll need it to defeat the big ol? baddies in the tournament.?
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"
"Kid, you better not underestimate this Tournament. Let down your guard for one moment and that'll be the end of you."
After a short but a seemingly infinite pause, Kero nodded in an understanding way.
"Now, we have to train to work together. Let's just get this over with so I don't have to put up with this."

Chapter 4

It was finally the next day of the tournament. Kero was shivering like mad. Yuna was also nervous, but she didn?t show it. She never did. Kero and Yuna walked into the entrance hut hastily.

Suddenly, an Arcanine walked up happily.
"Hey! Hey! Remember me? Umbreon lady hello!"
"What the...? Who are you?" Asked the confused Yuna.
"Don't you remember that Growlithe you saved from the rain?" He sighed.
?Oh, yeah. Evolved, have we?? She said, as if she was taunting someone.
"Yeah... I have. By the way, my name's Pyro."
"My name's Yuna. And don't call me Umbreon Lady."
?Oh yeah, what the hell kind of name is Pyro, anyway??
"I love fire, so I thought it fits..."
"It still sounds weird. Anyway, you?re not a pyromaniac, you idiot."
?Well I am I fire Pokemon, and I love fire, and,...?
?Just shut up will you??
?O-kay??

A voice came over the speakers and interrupted the three friends whom immediately looked up as the sound boomed through the calm air and into their ears.
"ATTENTION! All competitors report to the stadium entrance hall for a brief explanation of your battling options and conditions. You may also report to the ticket booth for seat tickets." Screamed a voice, which was quite scratchy because of the speaker?s conditions for the past years. The speakers were sitting on the floor, scratched and battered. There were 4 of them surrounding a pipe in the far front of the stadium entrance.
A flood of pokemon ran through into the entrance hut. The three friends were one of the first to be inside.
?Name,? said a hoarse, cracked voice from a pokemon sitting on a desk.
Yuna puffed out her chest and walked forward to the pokemon. ?Cut that out, and tell me your name.?
Yuna sighed, ?Yuna.?
?Who will be your team mates for this years competition? You must have a minimum of 3 players to enter.?
?Um...? Yuna looked at Pyro and Kero. ?Yeah, I have 2 others who want to play. Pyro and Kero, those two behind me.?
?Alright. You may enter for your battling options and conditions.? She led them to a door, and opened it. The three eager battlers walked through, and into a humongous room. It was very old. It looked as if nobody had ever used it in centuries. The dull, white paint on the walls was scratched and parts of it had fallen out and flaked onto a floor. The floor was only a dark grey ripped up carpet on a concrete floor. The ceiling was in a no better condition as the wall paints. A few things had been thrown up there, and they didn?t look like they were coming back down. The tables were actually bench tables, and two teams had to sit on one bench, and those two teams were facing each other in one round. The paint on the tables was scratched off, too, and the red that had been painted over the white was peeling off. A few players were sitting on tables. Three were already set to face each other, but one team didn?t have one? yet. Yuna and her friends sat on the table, and just like their team, there were only three players.
Their enemies were a Donphan, an Electabuzz, and an Ivysaur. They knew these pokemon would be tough to beat. Donphan was a ground pokemon. It could send pokemon flying if it rammed them hard enough. It had long, strong tusks on either side of its face, and 4 short but strong legs. Electabuzz was an electric type. Its name could show that. It had stripes all over its body. It had menacing eyes and a V-shaped stripe above them, which always made him look as if he was angry. This pokemon was known to live around power plants and cause major blackouts in cities. Ivysaur was a grass type. It looked like a big dinosaur with a rose on its back, and it had strong vine whips to throw a pokemon around.

Finally, all the pokemon who had qualified for the match were inside the room. There were many strong Pokemon. A houndoom shouted ?Attention!? to all of the pokemon and the room became silent.
A houndoom and a noctowl ran the Tournament. The Noctowl appeared at a desk at the back of the room. Everyone looked towards it.
?There are 3 rounds, element wise,? He spoke. ?Water, Fire, and Grass. In each round you'll be in an environment of the corresponding type. Whichever team passes will progress into the Tag Team round. In the Tag Team round you must pair up with someone, which you will battle with for the rest of the matches. You may find a partner for a maximum of one hour to do so. In the finals, there is no limit to the rules. In this part of the Tournament, you will fight with your partner in Tag Team round. The remaining two pokemon who remain in the tournament win! You will get a trophy and a year?s supply of food. You will then have a statue of you and your partner in the hall of fame. After each event, you will have a one and half hours break. You may now choose who will be in what element of the three existing choices. You have 5 minutes for this decision. My assistant will check in 5 minutes for your final agreement. I bid you farewell, and good luck.? With that, the Noctowl and the Houndoom left the room.

?Well, I'll take the grass stage!? Pyro said proudly.
"But you have an advantage over grass! You'll burn down the field!" Yuna said.
"Duh! That?s why I?m going in that round!"
"Fine, I'll take water."
"And I'll take fire." Kero eagerly announced.

The other team overheard the others muttering amongst each other, and the donphan said aloud, as if to tell the whole world his announcement, "If he's taking the grass round I'm in!"
Electabuzz didn?t agree. ?You idiot! You?re weak against grass. You?ll faint before the round even starts!?
?I?m no idiot! What round am I supposed to go in, the water one??
?You nitwit. You?re all brawn and no brain whatsoever. That?s why I joined you two, so you actually had at least one brain in here.?
?You want some of this?? The infuriated donphan bared his strong, sharp tusks at Electabuzz.
?Hey, slow down there! Donphan, maybe it was a little silly saying you?d go in the grass round, but you are, of course, only -?
?No, the nitwit?s only a dumb pokemon who doesn?t know head from tails. Not a human.?
?-Human? Oh, shut up, Electabuzz. If you WERE smart, you?d know you wouldn?t pick a fight with a perfectly strong Donphan.?
?Whatever, Ivysaur. And if YOU were smart, you?d know you wouldn?t pick a fight with a perfectly strong Electabuzz.? He boasted.
?Can you please stop being so ignorant? You know, we ARE a team, so it?s best to work together.?
?Riiight. Yeah, and you?re?-? Electabuzz decided to shut up.
?Look, I?ll fight the Arcanine, alright??
Donphan gasped to hear such a thing. ?But? you?ll be toasted! Burned to a cinder! Ivy to ash! Fried! Gold and crisp-?
?CAN YOU SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY?!?! I KNOW I?m weak against it, but I don?t need YOUR approval of the outcome! I should fight against my weaknesses, not run away from them.?
?But... what if you end up running away instead of chopping away at that Arcanine??
?Hey, it?s not always the strongest who wins.?
?Riiight...?
?Okay, let?s get this over with. I?ll be in the water round. That leaves Donphan to go in the fire round.?
?Right!?

Everyone?s five minutes were up. A Mew came out of the door, wearing an apron. She had beautiful pink fur, blue eyes and a long tail. Mews were known to be a legendary pokemon, which were also useful for more than just battling. The Mew spoke.
?Hello there, I?m Nurse Mew. I?ll be here to heal you after each part of the tournament. But right now, I have been informed to tell you that your five minutes are up. The first two teams, may you come inside for your battle??
A strong pokemon team marched through the door and into the field. One of the teams was fire only, and the other team was electric only. This would be a good battle.

After a long, persistent battle ensued in the stadium, the electric-type team finally won.
?May the next two teams please report to the field right now?? Said Nurse Mew, emerging from the door.
Yuna and Ivysaur?s team walked inside.
?I hope you got some ointment, Ivycrud.? Taunted Arcanine.
?Quiet!?
?Hey, Kero, try not to be an idiot in the tournament.? Yuna teased.
?Oh, come on, Yuna. With all my training, Jackie Chan?s got nothin? on me!?
?Right, Hercules,? She joked.

 

[Iveechan]

Besides having Electabuzz and Machoke as badguys (my two faves following Hitmonchan), this story is ok. I rememebr reading it at Turquoise City.