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Unneeded Universe

Palamon

Silence is Purple
8,158
Posts
15
Years
  • Well, I wrote this at school and put it on another forum first but here it is:

    "Unneeded Universe"

    Don't look up at the stars
    they will steal you away
    it doesn't really matter
    the stars are unneeded anyway.

    Never go into space
    it will imprison you without your say
    you will never return to earth
    and remain am empty body that has forever lost its way.

    The universe is unneeded
    it is just a waste of space
    the universe should just shatter
    and become nothing but a vacuum of subspace.

    Revolting is the first step
    but those who try fail
    the universe becomes aware of the revolters
    it just murders them without a care.

    Defying the world's secret is the second step
    but by then you wouldn't know what to do
    the universe erases the secret leaker's memory
    and forget if what they said was even true.

    The universe is aware of everything
    and the universe doesn't care
    it laughs at the human race
    and kills those who dare.

    The universe is unneeded
    it's just a waste of space
    the universe should just shatter
    and become nothing but a vacuum of subspace.

    Never think of the universe in the same way
    all it wants is praise
    criticize it until you're satisfied.
    You'll become a deity;
    a deity of horror.

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    In a way this poem is personified a lot. And it's kind of deep and dark in a way. It's an anti-world poem. Meaning I'm going against the whole entire world. But I picked the universe instead.

    Anyway feel free to bash, comment, and criticize this!
     
    11
    Posts
    12
    Years
    • Seen Jul 16, 2013
    One line that throws me off is
    "and become nothing but a vacuum of subspace"
    It didn't really fit with the line before I am sure you could have come up with another alternative.
    Other then that I honestly really like it ^.^
     
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