Untitled

Kenny_C.002

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    Life is an unexplored territory,
    --------For mysteries lie in doubt,
    For there is much to be seen.

    For the clouds lie ahead, waiting,
    ---------Waiting for someone to stumble,
    Waiting to show the darkness that had been,
    ---------Or will be.

    Yet the Sun lies ahead, wanting,
    ---------Wanting for it to show its light,
    Wanting for its chance to shine, and be seen.
    ---------And chance one will have, to see
    ---------Its brightness.

    Life is exploring,
    ---------Finding the way, trying not to be trampled.
    Yet there may be smog that clouds the gene,
    ---------Or there may be a sea
    ---------Of happiness.
    Nothing is sure, the unexplored territory.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Untitled Poem I made many years ago...
     
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    Ah, beautiful! I mean it! It is tremendously amazing! No angst; no despair, only a tinge of sadness. It's the perfect combination of happiness and sadness, making neutrality. Bravo! Although I do find you guitly of overusing 'for' and several of your adjectives. Pair your skills with a synonym finder for your next poem and your set! Once again, I really like this piece!
     
    Kenny_C.002 said:
    Yeah. "for" is like a pet word that I use in poetry. Kinda need help on that lol. Thanks for the complement and constructive criticism.
    Click to expand...
    Always, and I'll be watching for any more of your writings. I really do enjoy reading them. So far at least. ^^
     
    -smiles- You are welcome, but I too must thank you for aspiring to write more for the viewing of fans. *^_^* By the way, I've left a little criticism on your fiction piece, though I really enjoy that as well.
     
    Saw that one. lol

    The Dictionary/Thesaurus combo is NOT A GOOD DEAL. Doesn't even have the root words (I'm meaning the base Latin/greek word) in there (aka I don't know whether a word is truly a derivative until I find it somewhere else). grrr...
     
    Try the Rodale Synonym Finder. It's twenty-six U.S. dollars; rather expensive, but well worth the money. It's excellent for writers and just happens to be my best friend, lol. Much better than a Dictionary/Thesaurus combo. ^^
     
    i'll try one past 12 midnight. I'm like asleep right now, still online. lol

    Untitled (as usual)

    The fantasy shifts
    --to light
    ----to the bravest of the brave
    ------to what one truly desires

    It is here that lays traps on oneself
    --yet gives the person what he wishes
    Fantasy is what one wishes for
    --a mere dream

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Done in 12 midnight. :P
     
    Hm... Well, I can tell you're tired. It's sloppier than your other. But I like the ideas in the context. So I'm kind of torn. >.< Good job on not overusing words, as well as the structure. Though it's shorter, the piece still details emotions that again, mix happiness and sadness. Bravo.
     
    very very nice KC002...I think this is the second time I've seen you write...good stuff...

    premium wheels are stocked at the BOO ya!
     
    It's Dakota! :P

    If you haven't noticed, I have been writing a fic that is largely unnoticed in the other RP/fic section. But yeah, I think it's the second time I've actually "published" anything. :D
     
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