vague title

[poopnoodle]

what scares me about the world is that no one ever wants to take a moment to help someone. we all have so much in common but there is so much distrust we have with each other and so much impatience in our (north american) culture. to spend a valuable, progressive moment with a stranger is becoming unheard of, time with our loved ones is getting there too. i come across people every day who will do anything they can to avoid communicating with me knowing that that's what a transaction requires. i was in a car accident awhile back in the middle of a busy 4 way intersection and only ONE person, one, stopped to make sure we were ok. of course, he didn't get out of his car, he mouthed "are you ok" to me in his truck, i gave him a thumbs up and he was on his way. it's become a world where you can be stranded in the middle of everything. we're becoming so superficial and detached it's scary.

my friend recently came back from a vacation in spain and she was raving about how their culture paralleled ours. their restaurants didn't focus on efficiency at all, instead quality and environment. families would just spend time together, they would sit at the restaurant and just talk. there were no complaints about waiting, and meals were small in portion. restaurants were decorated elaborately, representing the tastes of the workers. here, a unique restaurant becomes a chain and that chain becomes a product of mass standardization based around efficiency and reeling in money in ways that demeans the restaurant's roots.

what do you see in our culture, and if you're from an area with different ideals, what is it like?
what do you think is the cause of our ways, and do you think we can be better?

 

[Masqueraine]

well i think that we're socially driven creatures obviously but with the dawn of the interwebs and all this do it yourself jazz we're becoming more independent. i don't know if it's a good or bad thing, but personally when i'm alone for too long i get depressed and feel desperate, i don't know i think it's natural. in our culture i think we're becoming more superficial. like we're still a very social society but things are very divided between the classes. you simply don't see really good looking people hanging out with not so good looking people, or people out of their class. and i don't think this was as prevalent before as it is now. i think all this does is discourage people from being outgoing or as social as they can be and leads to them being secluded. maybe i'm not even on the topic you were thinking about, sorry. D:

in my experience, i've been able to make acquaintances and friends, not at the rate that really popular people do but i do what i do and while at times i'm not okay with it i deal. today's society has pushed me to better myself in ways previously i probably wouldn't have cared about. while i feel like i'm really intellectually capable i feel like i'm lacking aesthetically, and am really hard on myself about that. so i want to work on getting a better physique, getting rid of bad skin, generally things that would have been overlooked before are now really really important today. we see all these perfect supermodels and place ourselves to the same standard, and it's really hard because we simply aren't all made like that. and i'm not even bad looking, it's just that the standard now is way higher than it used to be.

i think at this point we can't really change. it's not bad that we're superficial, just that we shun those who aren't. i dunno, maybe i sound really dumb lol. just trying to take part in this wonderful discussion~

edit; actually it's always been like this hasn't it i guess we're just not as empathatic as we think!

 

[poopnoodle]

i don't think we're quite on the same page but you're definitely onto something and i think what we're both saying here are related in certain ways. there is a certain lack of empathy in our culture that keeps us from each other, and it goes with what i was saying about impatience. people are impatient at restaurants and curse the employees for incompetence but they don't understand that a team of professionals in the back room are lacking a member for the night and one of their machines have broken down and things are just running behind despite their best efforts to keep up with one complicated order after the other. someone rushes another on the road in frustration without realizing the car in front of them is a car full of young children whose parents are driving slower to be cautious, and those parents purposely drive even slower than they were in frustration with the person behind them who's riding their butt assuming they're just another hasty road-hog but really this is a man whose wife is in the hospital giving birth and he's really gotta get to that hospital.

so my point is, there is a lack of empathy in our culture and there is a lot of impatience, the lack of empathy may not be the direct cause of impatience but there is a relation. a lot of people seem to be unable to identify with human error and emotion and i think this is just an ego thing with our society. it's probably the result of a lot of things over time, but it's just something i was thinking about. i think i kind of drifted from my own topic too, a little bit. but i think this all boils down to human nature, people are like this everywhere but i feel like it's really prominent in certain places.

 

[Masqueraine]

yeah i can see more what you're talking about now. and that's true, your restaurant example is perfect. see my mom's just like that, just really judging and complaining, and generally makes a person's job tougher. i can't say i try empathising with my mom.. but i really don't think she has a reason to complain about the small things other than she just wants to. so i usually side with the employee or whoever it is and this is why m and my mom don't usually get along. we can, but not usually. i feel like our relationship is me reaching out and trying to meet her halfway while she stands where she is and still.. judges or whatever. i dunno i'm rambling now haha but i get what you're saying. we don't really know why somebody is doing what they do or why something isn't up to the standard it's supposed to be, but we tend to be impatient and complain anyways.

i think in my last post i was just doing what i do best and thinking the world revolves around me lol.. it was just what i find out of place in our culture or whatever.

and yes, i have no doubt that our egos get in the way of our progress a lot. i know mine does. but this thread will prompt me to work on that so thanks for making it. :)

 

[countryemo]

I'm not on your page about the not taking a moment to help someone a whole bit. I mean I just got back from helping somebody move who I didnt even know out of my own time. I also did it a few days ago. And when this car crashed, a whole team of people stopped and was trying to get the guy out (locked doors, nothing broken, the smoke filling up the card.

I get about people becoming more self asorbed and impatient, but yeah. I dont know :x

 

[Esper]

I think, in American culture anyway, people are just too afraid. You don't stop to help someone because they might take advantage of you, it might be dangerous, and so on. There's probably a lot of selfishness and lack of empathy as well, but I think what best defines American culture (sorry for the American-centricness) is lack of any desire for openness and commitment. I'm already loosing my train of thought so I'll just go with an anecdote.

Woman I work with doesn't like to associate with other people who work there because she doesn't want them "getting into her business." Basically, she's afraid that the more of her self that gets out there the more vulnerable she becomes. I guess that fits into a lack of empathy though, since she (and pretty much everyone) doesn't follow all the rules exactly to the letter (and who does?) but if any of the bosses saw anything out of place they would come down on her so she keeps mostly to herself.

But then people can surprise you. I'm usually more cynical than optimistic, but when I recently moved I got a lot of help from someone who I only knew threw other people I already knew and I didn't expect it at all because I didn't think a stranger would help me.

And to continue my rambling, aimless commentary, I think people are overworked. They don't have time to rest, to do something they haven't already set time aside for. No one stops to smell the roses or say hi to a passing person on the street because no one has time to get caught in an impromptu conversation.

 

[Livewire]

Individualism and partisanship has been taken to an extreme in most cases here in the US. The lack of empathy for others is the core of the issue in most cases.

I hardly think technology is to blame, because social media keeps friends together, it doesn't drive them apart - blame the people using the technology.

 

[Esper]

I'd agree that social media isn't to blame - it's only really come into widespread use in the last couple of years and people have been acting without regard for one another for longer than that - but I'd bet that media in general (TV, news, internet, and so on) and probably good ol' consumerism helps make a kind of selfish individuality much easier to achieve.

 

[Livewire]

I'd agree that social media isn't to blame - it's only really come into widespread use in the last couple of years and people have been acting without regard for one another for longer than that - but I'd bet that media in general (TV, news, internet, and so on) and probably good ol' consumerism helps make a kind of selfish individuality much easier to achieve.

Yes yes yes, That's more or less what I was trying to say. I agree. It's been exceptionally noticeable since the 80's, it seems, which matches up with the consumerism aspect. Rampant capitalism and the Military Industrial Complex are to blame as well.

 

[Shizz]

I believe a lot of it comes to people living in large populated areas. Others don't help them when they're in need, so why should they help others in a similar situation? Regardless of how much we fight it, people are infact animals. And animals have always needed a specific amount of space from their own kind. That's why I believe that those in the city are so rude, and the ones up in Alaska Homer, are so helpful and cheery. (And I do love Homer Alaska, beautiful place and people. On the inside, I mean. Personalities and talk is great.) The more space you give people, along with community jobs, such as not working at a desk, but fresh fish markets for example, the more everyone will interact, but for the most part, friendly.

Actually, I quite commonly go out of my way to help people. Which almost got me shanked once...but eh, that's just one person, and I gained experience for it. I'm unsure if I leveled up, however....It does bother me the way that people just walk by because they don't easily trust one another, or OMGZGAIZ, I HAVE TO GO SHOPPING. SOMEONE ELSE WILL HELP THEM. I treat people just the way I treat other animals; with love, so long as they don't try to kill me. P:

 

[Livewire]

I believe a lot of it comes to people living in large populated areas. Others don't help them when they're in need, so why should they help others in a similar situation? Regardless of how much we fight it, people are infact animals. And animals have always needed a specific amount of space from their own kind. That's why I believe that those in the city are so rude, and the ones up in Alaska Homer, are so helpful and cheery. (And I do love Homer Alaska, beautiful place and people. On the inside, I mean. Personalities and talk is great.) The more space you give people, along with community jobs, such as not working at a desk, but fresh fish markets for example, the more everyone will interact, but for the most part, friendly.

Actually, I quite commonly go out of my way to help people. Which almost got me shanked once...but eh, that's just one person, and I gained experience for it. I'm unsure if I leveled up, however....It does bother me the way that people just walk by because they don't easily trust one another, or OMGZGAIZ, I HAVE TO GO SHOPPING. SOMEONE ELSE WILL HELP THEM. I treat people just the way I treat other animals; with love, so long as they don't try to kill me. P:

Now as for the big city thing, I agree and disagree. I'm sure most people are familiar with the average (mostly stereotyped, imo) New Yorker's attitudes. Now, look at New York after 9/11 happened. The whole city came together in that time of duress. Maybe they got complacent, seeing as that sort of event had never ahppened before. But, in times of adversity, they realized the gravity of the situation and rallied around a common cause.

 

[Alley Cat]

People tend not to stick their necks out for each other because it goes against the natural human survival instinct. Don't help them, let them die off, you have a better chance of surviving. I'm a pretty cynical person at times, and believe that people almost ALWAYS do something to gain something. Be it, money, friendship, or a promise of help in the future. I for one, can say, that that usually isn't me. I help even the people that I dislike. Why? Because it's the right thing to do. They'll still hate me when it's over, and I really don't care. I'm not trying to make ME sound like a saint, because I'm not. I still do things for personal gain, and I do that QUITE a lot. I don't always help someone in need, because quite frankly, sometimes it just isn't my concern or bother.

But our society is also unified and does help each other out A LOT. Like Live_Wire said, there is that whole 9/11 thing where we came together to help each other. But there are also other examples such a charities, welfare, and hostels. Things made to HELP those less fortunate than us, so they might be able to live a better and safer life. So, for one, that speaks a lot more there than it does anything else. People DO help people, even though they will gain nothing from it. It doesn't hurt them, and the only thing it does it make them feel good inside.