[Question] What do you think about the intro in my game?

[OZander]

https://youtu.be/FwIQOVF6Z6U
What do you think about it?

 

[StCooler]

https://youtu.be/FwIQOVF6Z6U
What do you think about it?

Hey,
It's courageous to ask for feedback :)

I would say your intro is good, but classic.

Detailed feedback:

Spoiler:

First the nitpicking:

• The second sentence of Professor Larch: "Welcome to the our beautiful world of Pokémon!"
• I don't remember if, in official games, the Pokémon Professor gives the name of the Pokémon they show. But giving the name is great, it makes them more "alive".
• I feel like the Pokémon cry happens a bit late. It should be heard when the Pokémon appears I think.
• "For some people Pokémon are pets, [o]thers train them"... (remove the capital letter to "Others")
• "But first tell me something about yourself" + "Now tell me" ("tell me" is said twice)
• The name screen. I assume you are using Essentials. Please don't use that screen to ask for the player's name. We have a keyboard, and we know how to use it :)
  In your Event, in the script that calls to:
  

  pbTrainerName

  add this before:
  

  $PokemonSystem.textinput = 1

  This will tell the function pbTrainerName to use the keyboard.
• I find it strange to say "her brother was kidnapped" and then "a world of dreams and adventures...". Either put the stress on her brother being kidnapped, which makes the game darker, or don't mention her brother just now and introduce the kidnapping in the story (so that the player actually sees the kidnapping). Otherwise the intro feels a bit mixed, you know?

The main problem that I see is that the sprites you made for the Professor and Gabee feel a bit "amateur" ^^" I know it's hard to make good sprites, so I don't have any advice to give... ^^"

I will repeat though, your intro is good and classic, and it's courageous to ask for feedback, so don't give up :)

 

[OZander]

English is not my native language, so sometimes I make mistakes :) As for the sprites, Prof. Larch I did the myself (my first sprite made from scratch) Gabee was made by my sister Gabi (Gabi is Gabee). I think Gabee's sprite is too colorful. I like the Game Freak style, but I also add stuff from myself.