emoBill™
† мазохист †
- 763
- Posts
- 19
- Years
- Россия // Russia
- Seen May 19, 2010
So the last time I posted something on here was when I won the January 2005 FFotM award for some weird crap called "Darkness In My Heart". I wanted to vomit reading it several years later so I thought I'd take another shot at posting something here. I'm much better now so your eyes won't bleed.
I am aware that Twincest is not popular with a lot of people. If you don't like Twincest, don't read this, and don't reply telling me how terrible I am for writing about twin brothers doing the dirty with each other.
I also don't believe in real Twincest, this is only written because I seem to write about Twincest better than anything and because it's fun.
The story is also on Tokio Hotel Fiction, right here if you want to comment it thereplease comment it there, it needs love. But since we can't post links I'm also posting it here :]
I hope you enjoy it. It's a somewhat different writing style than my own so hopefully I don't butcher it.
Blood stained the spot between Simone's legs. All she could think about was where Jörg had hit her, right in her stomach, right where her twins were resting in her stomach, snuggled against each other. She could feel it, somehow. Feel how they were so close to each other even without eyes. They knew each other was there.
But now...she was sure, somehow. She'd lost one of them. There was a gaping hole where he should be, maybe call it mother's intuition but she could tell that she had lost one of the twins because she was too submissive to call the police on her soon-to-be ex-husband.
She had come over to give him the papers for the divorce, knowing she was taking her life into her hands.
But now he had taken a life and it wasn't even hers.
She could swear she felt the other twin kick inside of her, suddenly becoming restless as she slid to the floor and buried her face in her hands.
_*_*_
When Wilhelm came into the world, they thought he was dead.
He didn't cry like normal babies. He barely even breathed. He was almost blue and his lips were a shade of that same blue. They were sure he was going to die, if he wasn't already dead, in a matter of hours.
But Wilhelm survived. He had help from his twin brother.
_*_*_
It wasn't Simone's name that Wilhelm called in the middle of the night when he had nightmares. It wasn't Gordon's, who was Simone's new husband, either.
It was a name Simone wasn't familiar with, a name that she'd never used before.
She would come up to Wilhelm's room and he would be in tears under his blanket, shaking. When she took the blanket off of him and tried to pull him into her lap, he pushed at her arm lightly and sobbed, "I want Tom."
"Who's Tom, honey?" she would ask, as all good mothers would.
Bill didn't know how to process the fact that Simone didn't know Tom. After all, he was only four years old.
"Tom's my...my Tom," he stated lamely.
Simone didn't understand. How could she -- she didn't have a dead twin.
"I don't understand, baby."
Of course she wouldn't understand. Bill turned away from her and cried, "Tom, Tom, where are you."
Simone, nearly in tears herself, would sit there not knowing what to do until she finally left the room. There was nothing she could do or say to make Bill feel better except to leave him alone there, crying for a person she never even had seen before.
She did wait outside the room, though. And she listened as Bill gasped.
"Tom," he would cry. "Tomi, you're here."
There would be no response, but Bill would have a one-sided conversation as if there were someone else in the room.
"I was so scared, Tomi. I thought you weren't coming."
Simone stayed there until Bill's talking turned into whispering and she couldn't hear it anymore. Then she would shuffle off quietly to her room, not knowing what to do.
_*_*_
"It's normal for children with Asperger's Syndrome, ma'am."
She had finally gone to a psychiatrist when Bill was six years old, she needed to find out what was wrong with her son who wouldn't stop insisting that there was someone else there with him, someone named Tom who looked just exactly like him.
"They often dream up imaginary friends and insist they're real; it's a way for them to feel accepted by at least someone. You do know they are extremely antisocial, right?"
The psychiatrist was a young woman, fresh out of college, and she was really beginning to piss Simone off.
"So Bill is never going to be normal?"
Wilhelm had announced a year ago that he didn't want to be called Wilhelm anymore, he thought it sounded way too stuffy and formal and Simone had been concerned about how mature that had sounded. She hated the thought of Bill having to go through life different than anybody else.
The woman adjusted her glasses and said, "Well, in social aspects he'll never be quite as normal as the other children. Kids with Asperger's Syndrome often are late to pick up on social cues so I don't think he'll ever be popular if that's what you're thinking."
Bill was asleep in her arms and she thanked God for that, at least.
"He had a twin."
The information came to her suddenly, like she needed to say it, though she didn't quite know why.
"'Had', ma'am?"
"Well...he died in a sort of miscarriage. My ex-husband was abusive and he hit the spot where Bill's twin was, and..."
She couldn't finish the rest, it was too emotional and she hated even thinking about it.
"I see."
She didn't see, though, of course. Simone didn't even see. She couldn't know what it was like to be Bill and to have your twin brother missing. Twins are closer than any two people in the world can be and after all Simone had never had a twin, so she for sure couldn't know how her little Bill felt.
Absently, she looked down at her sleeping child who had the thumb of one finger in his mouth and the fingers on the other hand curled around the necklace he wore from which hung a charm shaped like a yin-yang symbol, except for the part that was supposed to be black with the white dot was missing.
Well, not really missing, she had just buried it in Tom's grave. The grave that didn't hold a body because Tom's body was still microscopic when he was killed.
"Well, we can run tests on your son and see if we can discern why he's...well, I could say 'hallucinating' but many children of your son's age have imaginary friends, it could just be that..."
Somehow Simone doubted this was just an imaginary friend. It sure seemed like a hallucination to her. Bill could describe Tom's every detail. Despite most of their details being the same since Bill said that Tom looked just like him.
_*_*_
"Can Tom come in, too?"
It was the first day of testing and Bill was in his carseat. When Simone looked in her rearview mirror she saw that Bill was holding the hand of someone invisible. Of course she didn't have to ask, she already knew it was Tom. Who else could it even be?
"Yeah, Tom can come in, too."
Tom didn't exist, he sure wasn't going to disrupt anything.
Bill smiled. "Good, Tom likes being with me."
In all truth, though, Bill couldn't even remember a time that Tom hadn't been there. Even as a baby he knew Tom was there. They were the same age and Tom was just a baby, too, but he laid in Bill's crib and when Bill started crying Tom would roll over and hug him with his little baby arms. Bill would stop crying, too, and Simone would be able to get some sleep.
Bill could see Tom and he didn't know why Simone pretended she couldn't.
Tom was sitting on the seat next to Bill. He didn't have a carseat because Simone couldn't see him and Simone was not going to buy a carseat for what she called "Bill's imaginary friend".
Bill was worried about Tom because what if they got into an accident? But Tom promised he'd be fine.
Right now Tom's fingers were wrapped around Bill's and he was swinging his legs back and forth. He knew where they were going and what they were trying to do there -- Tom knew a lot more than Bill did because he was an observer. Bill took things at face value but Tom looked deeper into them.
He knew they were going to try and tell Bill that he didn't exist.
But Bill was smarter than that, Tom thought. Bill couldn't be brainwashed by this psychiatrist lady to tell him that Tom wasn't real. Bill was a smart kid.
Tom leaned over and kissed Bill's cheek and Bill giggled, Tom's favorite sound.
Please reply with your feedback, it means a lot.
I am aware that Twincest is not popular with a lot of people. If you don't like Twincest, don't read this, and don't reply telling me how terrible I am for writing about twin brothers doing the dirty with each other.
I also don't believe in real Twincest, this is only written because I seem to write about Twincest better than anything and because it's fun.
The story is also on Tokio Hotel Fiction, right here if you want to comment it there
I hope you enjoy it. It's a somewhat different writing style than my own so hopefully I don't butcher it.
What Makes You...You. by Savannah Kay
![[PokeCommunity.com] What Makes You...You.](https://i765.photobucket.com/albums/xx294/LiebtUndTot/reden.jpg "[PokeCommunity.com] What Makes You...You.")
Tom has been watching out for Bill ever since they were born. The problem is that the only one who can see Tom is Bill, and though everyone else thinks he's crazy, Bill knows Tom is real. He's just as real as anyone.
As Bill grows up with Tom by his side he begins to see the world in distinct shades of black and white. You're either good or you're bad. You either want to hurt him or you don't.
And you either love your ghost of a twin brother, or you don't.
Rated: PG-13
Categories: Slash
Characters: Andreas, Bill Kaulitz, Georg Listing, Gordon Trumper, Gustav Schafer, Simone Trumper, Tom Kaulitz
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, First Time, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Paranormal, Romance, Twincest
Main Pairing: Tom/Bill
Side Pairing: None
Warnings: Adult Content, Drug Use, Eating Disorder, Humiliation, Major Character Death, Necrophilia, Self-Harm, Under-Age Erotica, Voyeurism, WIP
Chapter One: Imaginary friend.
Everybody's gotta feel the weight of death sometime
And find out what it's like to be left behind
Sometimes you don't get to ask where or why.
- "Everybody" by Richard Ashcroft
Summary: Tom got to ask where and why. It's just that no one could hear him, and the one person that could didn't know the answer either.
Tom has been watching out for Bill ever since they were born. The problem is that the only one who can see Tom is Bill, and though everyone else thinks he's crazy, Bill knows Tom is real. He's just as real as anyone.
As Bill grows up with Tom by his side he begins to see the world in distinct shades of black and white. You're either good or you're bad. You either want to hurt him or you don't.
And you either love your ghost of a twin brother, or you don't.
Rated: PG-13
Categories: Slash
Characters: Andreas, Bill Kaulitz, Georg Listing, Gordon Trumper, Gustav Schafer, Simone Trumper, Tom Kaulitz
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, First Time, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Paranormal, Romance, Twincest
Main Pairing: Tom/Bill
Side Pairing: None
Warnings: Adult Content, Drug Use, Eating Disorder, Humiliation, Major Character Death, Necrophilia, Self-Harm, Under-Age Erotica, Voyeurism, WIP
Chapter One: Imaginary friend.
Everybody's gotta feel the weight of death sometime
And find out what it's like to be left behind
Sometimes you don't get to ask where or why.
- "Everybody" by Richard Ashcroft
Summary: Tom got to ask where and why. It's just that no one could hear him, and the one person that could didn't know the answer either.
Blood stained the spot between Simone's legs. All she could think about was where Jörg had hit her, right in her stomach, right where her twins were resting in her stomach, snuggled against each other. She could feel it, somehow. Feel how they were so close to each other even without eyes. They knew each other was there.
But now...she was sure, somehow. She'd lost one of them. There was a gaping hole where he should be, maybe call it mother's intuition but she could tell that she had lost one of the twins because she was too submissive to call the police on her soon-to-be ex-husband.
She had come over to give him the papers for the divorce, knowing she was taking her life into her hands.
But now he had taken a life and it wasn't even hers.
She could swear she felt the other twin kick inside of her, suddenly becoming restless as she slid to the floor and buried her face in her hands.
_*_*_
When Wilhelm came into the world, they thought he was dead.
He didn't cry like normal babies. He barely even breathed. He was almost blue and his lips were a shade of that same blue. They were sure he was going to die, if he wasn't already dead, in a matter of hours.
But Wilhelm survived. He had help from his twin brother.
_*_*_
It wasn't Simone's name that Wilhelm called in the middle of the night when he had nightmares. It wasn't Gordon's, who was Simone's new husband, either.
It was a name Simone wasn't familiar with, a name that she'd never used before.
She would come up to Wilhelm's room and he would be in tears under his blanket, shaking. When she took the blanket off of him and tried to pull him into her lap, he pushed at her arm lightly and sobbed, "I want Tom."
"Who's Tom, honey?" she would ask, as all good mothers would.
Bill didn't know how to process the fact that Simone didn't know Tom. After all, he was only four years old.
"Tom's my...my Tom," he stated lamely.
Simone didn't understand. How could she -- she didn't have a dead twin.
"I don't understand, baby."
Of course she wouldn't understand. Bill turned away from her and cried, "Tom, Tom, where are you."
Simone, nearly in tears herself, would sit there not knowing what to do until she finally left the room. There was nothing she could do or say to make Bill feel better except to leave him alone there, crying for a person she never even had seen before.
She did wait outside the room, though. And she listened as Bill gasped.
"Tom," he would cry. "Tomi, you're here."
There would be no response, but Bill would have a one-sided conversation as if there were someone else in the room.
"I was so scared, Tomi. I thought you weren't coming."
Simone stayed there until Bill's talking turned into whispering and she couldn't hear it anymore. Then she would shuffle off quietly to her room, not knowing what to do.
_*_*_
"It's normal for children with Asperger's Syndrome, ma'am."
She had finally gone to a psychiatrist when Bill was six years old, she needed to find out what was wrong with her son who wouldn't stop insisting that there was someone else there with him, someone named Tom who looked just exactly like him.
"They often dream up imaginary friends and insist they're real; it's a way for them to feel accepted by at least someone. You do know they are extremely antisocial, right?"
The psychiatrist was a young woman, fresh out of college, and she was really beginning to piss Simone off.
"So Bill is never going to be normal?"
Wilhelm had announced a year ago that he didn't want to be called Wilhelm anymore, he thought it sounded way too stuffy and formal and Simone had been concerned about how mature that had sounded. She hated the thought of Bill having to go through life different than anybody else.
The woman adjusted her glasses and said, "Well, in social aspects he'll never be quite as normal as the other children. Kids with Asperger's Syndrome often are late to pick up on social cues so I don't think he'll ever be popular if that's what you're thinking."
Bill was asleep in her arms and she thanked God for that, at least.
"He had a twin."
The information came to her suddenly, like she needed to say it, though she didn't quite know why.
"'Had', ma'am?"
"Well...he died in a sort of miscarriage. My ex-husband was abusive and he hit the spot where Bill's twin was, and..."
She couldn't finish the rest, it was too emotional and she hated even thinking about it.
"I see."
She didn't see, though, of course. Simone didn't even see. She couldn't know what it was like to be Bill and to have your twin brother missing. Twins are closer than any two people in the world can be and after all Simone had never had a twin, so she for sure couldn't know how her little Bill felt.
Absently, she looked down at her sleeping child who had the thumb of one finger in his mouth and the fingers on the other hand curled around the necklace he wore from which hung a charm shaped like a yin-yang symbol, except for the part that was supposed to be black with the white dot was missing.
Well, not really missing, she had just buried it in Tom's grave. The grave that didn't hold a body because Tom's body was still microscopic when he was killed.
"Well, we can run tests on your son and see if we can discern why he's...well, I could say 'hallucinating' but many children of your son's age have imaginary friends, it could just be that..."
Somehow Simone doubted this was just an imaginary friend. It sure seemed like a hallucination to her. Bill could describe Tom's every detail. Despite most of their details being the same since Bill said that Tom looked just like him.
_*_*_
"Can Tom come in, too?"
It was the first day of testing and Bill was in his carseat. When Simone looked in her rearview mirror she saw that Bill was holding the hand of someone invisible. Of course she didn't have to ask, she already knew it was Tom. Who else could it even be?
"Yeah, Tom can come in, too."
Tom didn't exist, he sure wasn't going to disrupt anything.
Bill smiled. "Good, Tom likes being with me."
In all truth, though, Bill couldn't even remember a time that Tom hadn't been there. Even as a baby he knew Tom was there. They were the same age and Tom was just a baby, too, but he laid in Bill's crib and when Bill started crying Tom would roll over and hug him with his little baby arms. Bill would stop crying, too, and Simone would be able to get some sleep.
Bill could see Tom and he didn't know why Simone pretended she couldn't.
Tom was sitting on the seat next to Bill. He didn't have a carseat because Simone couldn't see him and Simone was not going to buy a carseat for what she called "Bill's imaginary friend".
Bill was worried about Tom because what if they got into an accident? But Tom promised he'd be fine.
Right now Tom's fingers were wrapped around Bill's and he was swinging his legs back and forth. He knew where they were going and what they were trying to do there -- Tom knew a lot more than Bill did because he was an observer. Bill took things at face value but Tom looked deeper into them.
He knew they were going to try and tell Bill that he didn't exist.
But Bill was smarter than that, Tom thought. Bill couldn't be brainwashed by this psychiatrist lady to tell him that Tom wasn't real. Bill was a smart kid.
Tom leaned over and kissed Bill's cheek and Bill giggled, Tom's favorite sound.
Please reply with your feedback, it means a lot.