What You Wish For

[yaysunshine]

Uh, hi! I'm pretty new in these parts, but I've been posting my fanfic to other sites, so I thought I might try putting it up here and seeing what kind of feedback I get. I really appreciate any comments or criticism you have to offer, so let me know what you like and/or dislike about the story so far.

Summary: Teenage trainers Sienna Brown and Lemon Chiffon get more than they bargained for when they rescue a strange girl during a thunderstorm on Route 45 and are sucked into an adventure that leads them all the way to faraway Sinnoh.

Rating: PG-13 for language and thematic elements.

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Chapter One

"Doctor Orange?"

"Yes, Aubergine?"

The head lab tech sighed and ran a hand through her brown hair. "She's... the subject's shut herself in her room again. She won't come out to eat or let anyone in, and is ignoring all attempts at communication. It seems she's also barricaded the door with some of the furnishings."

Doctor Orange groaned. "Not again. You've got her on camera, right? What's she doing?"

Aubergine shifted uneasily on her feet, the soles of her sneakers shuffling with an awkward squeaking noise across the sterile metal floor. "Well, Doctor... she's... reading." She laughed nervously—a bit unsettled. Not uncommon among the staff, with their subject... "That's... that's about all, just reading the books we gave her to teach her. She seems very focused on them. I wouldn't be concerned, but she's been sitting on her bed reading them for the last six hours without ceasing. Uh, I think she's looking at an annotated atlas right now, as of the last report. I've issued orders for her to be left alone for now, since I didn't want to risk upsetting her by forcing the door, but I wanted your opinion."

"Well, at least that's fairly innocuous," said Orange, leaning back in her desk chair. "Let me know if the situation changes at all—she may not need to eat often, but she's got to want food sometime. Let me know, and I'll interview her personally when she does; we need to know as much as possible about her mental state. I've read the reports from the Mewtwo project..."

A crease formed in the Aubergine's forehead. "Understood, ma'am," she said, nodding slightly, though looking rather worried.

Orange laughed. "Well, don't be too worried. Her personality seems considerably less violent; I doubt we'll have the same outcome as those idiots on the... previous venture in our area. Anyway, anything else to report?"

"Not much," said Aubergine. "She seems to be progressing mostly normally in terms of regular development, aside from the initial growth-enhancement. She might be called precocious among others... seems to be interested in her lessons. Very quiet, though."

The doctor nodded, thoughtfully. "Seems about right," she said, finally. "At least within normal variation of the projections. We didn't design her to be an extrovert, anyway. Is that all?"

Aubergine frowned. "Well, there was one more thing."

"Yes?"

"Her sleep has started becoming regularly restless. She murmurs things in her sleep, and occasionally sleepwalks. Just the last few days, but enough to form a pattern."

"Have you managed to record anything she said?"

"The mic on the security camera wasn't quite good enough to pick up exactly what was being said, so we placed a separate one in a different location after the first occurrence. I... uh..." She patted down her sides, and flipped through the pages on her clipboard. "I'm sorry, ma'am. I don't seem to have the transcript with me. It was mainly a lot of nonsense, though. I know I couldn't make any sense of it, and none of the others could either."

Orange brushed a stray lock of ginger hair behind her ear. "That's all right. Just make sure to get it to me as soon as you can. I can put it into this month's report to headquarters—maybe one of the high-ups will have some interest in it. If that's all, you can go now."

"Thank you, ma'am," said the tech, and walked out the door, closing it behind herself.

Doctor Orange propped herself up on her desk by her elbows, leaning forward, and dialed the computer to bring up the security camera from the subject's room. As chief of the project team, she ought to see the odd behavior the tech had mentioned for herself. The computer brought up the window—

—and Orange sat upright. She hastily punched the comm for the tech who had just left moments earlier. "Aubergine!" she said. "Check security camera S-5. What do you see?"

There was a brief moment of lag, and then a crackle of static. "Hear you, Doctor. Just a second..." A pause, and then: "Oh, crap. Ma'am—"

"I checked it myself, too. I'm overriding the door lock code. Get a team for backup, stat!"

"Right!" A long pause, presumably as Aubergine dialed the security team and waited for them to come. Then: "We're in place. Go ahead, Doctor—"

"Opening the door."

The door swung open on Orange's screen, and she watched as the black-clad security team push their way in through the makeshift furniture barricade, followed by Aubergine, who made her way through the crowd over to the gaping hole in the wall.

"Camera, zoom in," said Orange, and watched as the computer's view came closer to the hole. Around the edges... it looked like the wall had been burned clear through—right through the paint and plaster, and even through the solid rock on the other side of the wall. She saw Aubergine lift her communicator.

"Doctor, I think we have a problem," said Aubergine.

"Yes," said Orange. "Yes, I think we do."

# # #​

"Come on! I'm tired!"

"Five more minutes!" Sienna Brown shouted over her shoulder, as she jogged down the hill, through the tall grasses that covered most of Route 45. "We're almost done for the night, I swear!"

"That's what you said an hour ago—and now it's ten o' clock," said the taller blonde girl, leaning back against a tree and gesturing up at the clear night sky. "Seriously, Sienna, this is not how sane people train. If you really want to have even a chance this time, you ought to get some rest so that your pokémon don't faint from exhaustion in the middle of battle! Or you, for that matter!"

Sienna scowled. "Just because you won the badge on your first try doesn't mean I have to listen to you, Lemon," she grumbled. "You can go back to the pokémon center if you really want to. In the meantime, we will continue training. Isn't that right, guys?" There was a pause. "Guys?"

She turned. Behind her, her graveler and vileplume were snoozing on the hillside, while ninetales had gotten into her backpack and was pulling out all the food containers and opening them with her claws. Sighing, she recalled all three of them into their pokéballs, and flopped down on the grass, hooking the red and white balls to her belt. "All right, so maybe I'd better wrap up," she admitted, as she started to clean up the mess around her backpack. "Still, though..." Her nose wrinkled. "I really, really need this badge."

Lemon sat down next to her and leaned back on her elbows. "It isn't bad, really. I mean, you've already got seven badges, and you could have an eighth if you'd just swallow your pride and try another gym that doesn't specialize in Dragon-types. That's something to be proud of. It's not like you have to go for the Blackthorn gym."

Pulling a face, Sienna folded her hands neatly behind her head, brushing her brunette pigtails out of the way and onto the grass. "Well, yes, but the thing is, you are right. It's a matter of pride for me, I guess," she said. "And besides..." She scowled. "Smug wossname told me I didn't have a chance," she muttered under her breath, grumpily.

Her friend laughed. "Oh, Sienna," she said, crossing her legs neatly. "Do grow up, will you?"

"Oh, come on," said Sienna, waving her arms wildly above her head and shooting Lemon a burning glare. "I'm sixteen, can't I be allowed my moments of childishness every once in a while? Saying something like that was practically tempting destiny. I have to win, now, don't you see? And then I will take on the League, and win, and be Sienna Brown, Pokémon Master!" She struck a dramatic half-pose with her arms as if she'd just won the League tournament.

"You watch far too much television," Lemon said. "You're always destiny this, destiny that–real life doesn't work like that, you know."

"Who says?" Sienna retorted. "Maybe someday I'll be one of the Elite Four. You never know. Or maybe we'll stumble into the middle of an earth-shattering plot and have to save the world! Didn't you ever dream of that kind of thing as a girl? Becoming the greatest trainer ever, saving the world from evil, being adored by everyone from Kanto to Sinnoh for your great and courageous deeds?" She paused. "Oh, right, you were never a little girl. Silly me."

Lemon stuck out her tongue. "I had dreams of my own. I just have my feet firmly planted on the ground, that's all," she said.

"Oh really? What fantastic adventures did you dream up when you were a kid?" Sienna challenged her.

"Hmph," said Lemon. "For your information, I indulged some very vivid daydreams about becoming a very famous professional writer known all across every region and being interviewed on DJ Mary's Pokémon Talk every week."

Sienna stifled a laugh, clapping her hands over her mouth, though she couldn't help but snort through her fingers. "Tha—that was your most exciting daydream?"

"Ha ha," said Lemon. "You'll excuse me if I didn't daydream about the apocalypse, all right?"

"Touché," Sienna said, drily. "Each to her own, I suppose."

"Indeed," agreed Lemon. "Anyway, we should head in. So you can actually get some sleep for once, I mean, not stay up until one fiddling with your pokénav."

"All right," said Sienna, reluctantly. "Let's—oh, damn."

"What?"

"Felt a raindrop," said Sienna, frowning up at the now-ominously overcast sky. "Looks like a big one. We'd better run for it."

"Agreed," said Lemon, and the both took off, Sienna grabbing her backpack hastily as they dashed for the path.

Sienna was soon proven right as the clouds opened up overhead, starting a downpour and quickly turning the path into a river of mud. Both girls jumped as a flash of lightning lit the sky, as well.

"We'll have to stop!" yelled Lemon, above the crash of thunder, frantically trying to use her vest and backpack as a makeshift umbrella. "Let's try to get to that stand of trees over there! There'll be some shorter ones to hide under!"

"Got it!" Sienna called back, pulling the hood of her sweatshirt over her head as she followed her friend into the trees, darting quickly past the outer ones and into the middle of the grove, where more of the rainfall was caught by the trees and the rumbling of the thunder sounded more distant. There was a clearing there, big enough to be away from the bases of the trees and thus safe from the lightning, and the two halted there.

"Phew," said Lemon, shaking water out of her wavy hair as she squatted down, unrolling a tarp from her backpack and setting it on the ground. "Guess we won't be heading back to the Center after all. At least not until the storm passes."

"I'll sign on to that. There's no way I'm going back out there in that kind of weather," Sienna muttered, setting herself down on the tarp. She immediately began stripping off her wet outerclothes, replacing them with a raincoat from inside her backpack and sealing the soaked clothing in a compression pouch.

Lemon was busy fiddling with her pokénav. "Can't get a signal—must be interference from the storm," she said, before switching it off. "Funny, though. I checked the weather this morning, and it was a pretty low chance of rain. No thunderstorms even on the radar." She shivered; she hadn't brought any warmer clothes with her as the day had been fairly warm up until that point.

"Goes to show how bloody useless the weather forecasters are," said Sienna, and tossed her friend a slightly worn but well cared-for emergency blanket. "Here, put it on," she said.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Sienna shook her head, sending droplets of water flying in the process. "Man, I've got to get me a castform one of these days. It could come in handy at times like this."

Lemon smiled weakly. "Well, at least you're prepared. Shame on me."

"Meh, once out of a hundred times." Sienna shrugged. "How many times have you saved me when I've been out for something? Can't count them." She looked down at her feet. "It's what friends do for friends, right?"

"Heh. Well, let me tell you, right now there's no one I'd rather be stuck out here with than you."

Sienna grinned. "And, you know, maybe I won't even start talking about—"

Lightning lit up the clearing, suddenly much closer than it had been before, and thunder rumbled. And in the flash of lightning, a human figure was briefly silhouetted, before it buckled at the knees and fell limply forward into the wet grass.

"—destiny?" Sienna whispered.

 

[Aether_]

Good Story. To be honest, I haven't read fan-fiction before, so I didn't know exactly what to expect, but I enjoyed it.

I'm not the best proof-reader, but I tried to look out for grammatical mistakes and such while going through it. There were only a couple things I noticed.

At one place you wrote, "Smug wossname." Did you mean something like "Smug what's-his-name"?

And then there were some parts with commas. One sentence I found was this one, "And then I will take on the League, and win, and be Sienna Brown, Pokémon Master!" I am not sure if you need all those commas. To me, the way the commas were used in that sentence would be like writing, "I smiled, and waved," when I think the correct sentence would be, "I smiled and waved." But that is just something for consideration because I don't know comma rules the best. Knowing me, I probably made some comma mistakes just in this paragraph. :nervous:

Anyway, back to what I thought of the story. Once again, I thought it was good. I enjoyed reading through it all, and when I reached the end, I was looking forward to more. One thing I would suggest would be adding more description to that mysterious subject. There didn't seem to be much said about her, and when I was reading, I wanted to know more about her. Otherwise, I felt the descriptions elsewhere were good, but adding more can never hurt. :D

Well, I'm looking forward to what you post next and keep up the good work.

 

[delongbi]

Great beginning!

I like your writing style, and you seem to have a good plot going.

The whole destiny thing is kind of cliche... but honestly, I never have understood why people are bothered by a little bit of clicheness. I mean, most stories wouldn't be nearly as exciting if there was no saving the world/ destiny business.

I love the name Lemon, btw!

And I am intrigued by the escapee ... a psychic girl, yay!

Anyway, I like your story, and if you keep posting it here, I will continue reading.

 

[yaysunshine]

@ Aether_: I'm glad you enjoyed the story! As to your grammatical questions—well, "wossname" is a bit of a Britishism that's slipped into my vocabulary, but it does mean what you thought it meant, so at least the point got across. As for the commas, I had them in mainly to denote the way Sienna would deliver the line (e.g., with a dramatic pause at each comma), but I'll take what you said into consideration for when I do revisions. Anyway, thanks for your comments, and I hope you continue reading! :)

@ delongbi: Glad you liked it. I was also a little worried that the whole destiny shtick might come off as cliché to some readers, but I'm hoping the direction I'm taking the whole thing will be a new and fresh take on the whole thing. Thanks for commenting, hope you stick around!

Anyway, onward to chapter two, since I have quite a bit of backlog to clear:

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Chapter Two

Sienna grinned. "And, you know, maybe I won't even start talking about—"

Lightning lit up the clearing, suddenly much closer than it had been before, and thunder rumbled. And in the flash of lightning, a human figure was briefly silhouetted, before it buckled at the knees and fell limply forward into the wet grass.

"—destiny?" Sienna finished.

"Ah!" cried Lemon, and sprang up, hurrying over to the fallen newcomer. Sienna was close on her heels, and watched as Lemon carefully turned the girl face-up.

She was very young; Sienna thought maybe no more than thirteen years old, if that. Strangely, she had long, nearly-white hair that shone in the flashes of lightning above and very pale skin that bordered on translucent in the darkness. And despite the terrible weather—well, despite all logic, for that matter, she was dressed in what resembled a heavy-duty version of a hospital gown.

Sienna summed it up, cocking her head to the side: "Huh."

"Don't just stand there, do something helpful!" Lemon chastised. "She's clearly injured. Oh, go get my first aid kit, will you? We can at least bandage her up or something, if she has any scrapes."

"Fine," muttered Sienna, and grabbed Lemon's bag, rooting through it as she walked back to her and the fallen girl. "Who do you think she is, anyway?"

Lemon looked thoughtful, crinkling her nose and frowning. "I would say she's probably another trainer, but she doesn't look like she has any pokéballs on her... and she's certainly not dressed for it," she said, taking the first aid kit Sienna handed to her. "We'll have to ask her when she wakes up."

Sienna kicked at some grass. "Guess so," she said, frowning. "It's weird, though. Her showing up and all, in the middle of this thunderstorm from out of the middle of nowhere... And what ordinary person dresses like that? It's sort of like—"

"I thought you weren't going to start talking about destiny," said Lemon.

"I'm not," Sienna sniffed. "Just think it's odd, that's all."

Lemon ignored her, checking for a pulse on the girl and looking for steady breathing; she even felt the girl's forehead. "Hm," she said. "Doesn't seem to be anything too bad—for all I know, it's just plain exhaustion. In any case, she seems to be sleeping all right and with no major apparent injuries, so maybe we should try to carry her back to the Pokémon Center when the storm clears."

"Mm," agreed Sienna, still studying the girl. "Should we maybe move her onto the tarp so she doesn't get all wet and hypothermic?"

"Uh—Ah! Right. That's a good plan," said Lemon, sounding a little startled, as if she hadn't been paying attention. "I... never mind."

Sienna frowned. "Was there something bothering you?"

Lemon shook her head as she took the girl's legs and Sienna slipped her arms under the girl's torso. "No, no. Nothing. I was just thinking, that's all. I was wondering where she could have come from, out here, if she's not a trainer... Most people don't venture out on foot too far without a pokémon on hand... and we're pretty far from Blackthorn, aren't we?"

"That's practically what I said," muttered Sienna, rolling her eyes, as they set the girl down on the tarp. "I mean, there's an entrance to Dark Cave near here, but she couldn't have come out of there. See, it's weird!"

"I'm sure it's only—" Lemon began, but stopped abruptly as the girl began to stir.

"Nnh..." The girl sat up, rubbing her eyes. She looked around, and jumped slightly from her seated position seeing Lemon at her side, looking faintly alarmed. She blinked, and Sienna was almost taken aback by their color—a rather violent shade of violet. "Who are you?" the girl asked, her large eyes wide. She really did look very young, Sienna noted.

"Ah... we're pokémon trainers," stammered Lemon, who had been thrown off by the girl's sudden awakening. "We were out here training, and had to take shelter when it started raining—we found you out here. I'm Lemon Chiffon, and this is Sienna Brown. What's your name?"

The girl looked pensive. "My... my name is Dolly," she said, hesitantly, corners of her mouth turned down in the most delicate of frowns, as if she wasn't quite sure she should be telling them.

Sienna thought it was a strange name—not to mention strange that she seemed so hesitant about saying it—but she kept that to herself; in any case, she wasn't going to give Lemon an excuse to rail on about how she had no tact. She did have tact. Sometimes, anyway. Shrugging to herself, she crouched down next to Lemon. "So," she said. "Anyway, we're here to help you. Can you tell us anything about how you got here, what kind of shape you're in, where you came from? Did you come from Blackthorn City?"

Dolly frowned again, her white eyebrows knitting together. "Blackthorn City... is that near here?" she asked. "Where I came from... I don't think it was very far from here, but I don't know if it was Blackthorn City or not."

"You don't know where Blackthorn—" Sienna began, incredulously, but was silenced by a sharp pinch to her arm by Lemon.

"What else do you remember about the place you came from?" asked Lemon, gently. "The more you can tell us, the easier it'll be for us to get in touch with your family."

"I..." said Dolly, looking a bit hesitant. "I don't remember anything very well. I don't... I'm not sure I..." She chewed on her lower lip slightly, looking quite distraught. "I'm sorry."

Lemon looked over at Sienna. "Memory loss?"

"Maybe," said Sienna, shrugging. It would certainly explain a few things. "I'm no doctor." Suddenly, she noticed something—or rather, the absence of something: "Hey, the rain stopped!"

"Ah—it did, didn't it?" said Lemon, cocking an ear to the sky. "How about that. And I didn't even notice. Well, if you feel like you can walk a little, Dolly, we can help you get to the Pokémon Center in Blackthorn City, and they can help you a bit more there. They have doctors and nurses and more advanced medical equipment there, so they can probably take better care of you until you're ready to get back on your feet properly, so to speak."

The younger girl hesitated. "All right," she said, finally, and got to her feet, looking a little wobbly on her legs. Lemon quickly put an arm around her on one side to steady her, while Sienna went to quickly grab the rest of their gear and pack it away into her backpack before taking Dolly's other side.

Sienna nodded. "Good. All right, then," she said, wearily. "Now let's get out of here."

# # #​

"Aubergine? What's the latest on the Dolly case?"

Aubergine sighed wearily, rubbing her temples. "We've already started patching the hole in the wall and sealing it up, but she was able to blast through all the way to the outside tunnels that the trainers use. Hard to track, since it's all rock on the ground and she was barefoot, but we figure she must have gone outside. The cave exit isn't far from where she would have come out, and she probably would have gravitated toward the lighter area—and out to Route 45."

Doctor Orange cradled her head in her hands. "Ooh. This is really, really not good. I don't even know—we're going to have to get her back somehow—one way or another. She'll probably head towards either Blackthorn or New Bark. Try and get people there to watch out for her." She sighed, and rubbed the bridge of her nose. A serious migraine was coming on. "At least she's distinctive. There's a blessing. As long as we can find her and find her really fast..."

"Should I get the security team out to look for her, then? Split them up?"

Orange thought for a moment. "Sure. Send just a couple to New Bark, though—they'll stand out there, since it's a small town. And Blackthorn's more likely, really—the exit would probably have led her there. But make sure they know they're just there to watch, all right, and to go a little incognito? The extent of her powers still isn't known—we didn't have a long enough observation period and what with all the genes we spliced together—but from what she did to the wall, that could really kill someone, if they approach her the wrong way. I don't want any casualties. And we really don't need a public debacle putting us on the front cover of Trainers' Daily. We've worked hard to get this place shipshape, and the last thing we need is a League raid shutting us down."

A wrinkled creased Aubergine's forehead. "But... who will capture her, if they're just watching? And how? And if she's dangerous..."

Orange coughed lightly. "I'm calling in some... special help. What's the saying? If all you have is a hammer, then you'll try to solve every problem with a hammer? Something like that. This job requires..." She paused, trying to think of a way to phrase it. "Just a little more subtlety and finesse than is generally possessed by the average member of our security team, if you take my meaning."

"Ah," said Aubergine, with just the slightest hint of a smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth. The grunts weren't exactly chosen for their intelligence and innovative problem-solving; that was well-known and well-lamented by the scientists in the organization. "Well, I'll get right on that. And here's the transcripts from the recordings that I promised you, Doctor..." She dropped a packet in a manila envelope onto the doctor's desk.

"Thank you," said Orange. "I'll read them as soon as it's convenient—in this situation, they might even help us figure out where she's gone and what her aim is in escaping. Get someone to look over the books she was reading, too. Something in them might have inspired her to make a break for it. You said she was looking at maps? Go over the security tapes, see what she was looking at, what areas. Every hint is helpful. Even if it seems insignificant, put it in the report. I want it on my desk as soon as humanly possible."

"I'll get on that right away, ma'am," said Aubergine, straightening.

"Make it so, Number One," said Orange, loftily, and waved her out the door. It was only then that she let herself flop down onto her desk in a display of complete and utter frustration and exhaustion.

"Augh," she groaned. "And she was perfect, too. My masterpiece, my magnum opus, my finest creation—why meeeeeeeeeee—"

—And then she snapped upright in her chair as a sudden jolt of electricity lanced through her arm. She whirled around. "What was that for?" she demanded of the magneton floating behind her.

It fixed her with a withering stare that said quite clearly: Get a grip, idiot. Orange rolled her eyes. "I know, I know, Linus, get back to work instead of whining, I got it," she muttered, waving a dismissive hand behind her as she turned back toward the desk and the phone. As long as this whole disaster was taken care of, and taken care of quickly, nothing bad would happen.

On the other hand, if things didn't... Orange's thoughts flickered briefly to the report due to HQ in a week, and she shuddered. It was probably best not to think about what might happen in that case.

Holding the receiver to her ear with one hand, she reached for the aspirin with the other. This was going to be one long, long week.

 

[delongbi]

I didn't catch any grammar errors, but I'm not always great at that.

Anyway, I still like where this story is going. I really like how we can see from Orange's point of view.

I would only recommend making the chapters a bit longer. You left me wanting to read more -- in both a bit of a dissappointing way and a good way. Plus, I feel like I haven't had "bonding time" with the characters yet. I'd like to get to know them more.

Anyway, good job! Keep it up!

 

[POKEMON_MASTER_0]

I have to say that I like this story. It has a bit of sci-fi going on along with a kind of investigation of philosophical concepts (like destiny).

I think I like it most, though, because of the general plot that it has. There is a character that is seemingly powerless and naive on the surface, yet has some sort of special ability. As a result of this ability, the said character is under the control of a larger entity. Then, the character somehow escapes, and the entity attempts to recapture the character.

I guess that I, personally, find this kind of plot empowering. The seemingly-weak do have a chance to rise up against the seemingly-strong. I, myself, based my own fan fiction, One Latias, around this same general plot (which is probably the reason why I like yours).

In terms of criticism, I can find nothing wrong grammatically. It's obvious that you took the time to plan this out and make sure that you wrote what you intended to tell readers.

However, I feel that you could do a bit better in terms of dialogue. I found that in the second half of the first chapter, the conversation between Sienna and Lemon feels a bit rigid. I don't know why it's rigid, it just feels that way to me. Maybe it's the fact that both are almost-exclusively speaking in full sentences, while the situation is kind of an informal friend-to-friend chat. I apologize if this comes across as a bit vague, and maybe it's just a nitpick of mine. I'm not entirely sure.

Overall, however, I like this, and I'll come back to read more. I guess all that's left to say is good job, and keep up the good work.

 

[Aether_]

Just read through your second posting, and I think I liked it more than the first. It seemed to flow better. Also, I really liked some of the descriptions you used. One description that particularly stuck out to me was the one about Dolly's eye color being a violent shade of purple. It was a rather unique way of phrasing things, and it seemed to mesh well with Dolly's character.

Anyway, keep up the good work, and I'll be looking forward to your future postings.

 

[yaysunshine]

@ delongbi: I'll keep that under consideration in the future, re: spending time with the characters. The next few chapters are already pre-written, but for chapter six and onward that's going in my "things to remember" bin. I'm glad you're liking the way things are going, though!

@ Pokemon Master 0: Thanks, I'm glad you like it! I do like putting my characters up against hard odds... although I can't say much further than that at this point, of course—don't want to spoil my plot twists :) I'll think about what you said about the dialogue and maybe go back in at a later point and do some revision—that's one of the older bits that I kept from my very first drafts, and it does seem a little stilted now that I look back at it. Good catch.

@ Aether_: Thanks! :)

Anyway, on to chapter three! As always, your comments and criticism are welcome and very much appreciated.

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Chapter Three

In a small apartment in Goldenrod City, a young man hung up the phone and rubbed at the dark circles under his eyes. "C'mon, sis," he said, turning around in his desk chair to face the other occupant of the room. "We've got a job."

The young woman lying in the bed across the room turned over and half-opened one tired eye in his direction. "Nngh. Do they always have to call so late at night? Who was it?"

"Dr. Orange—Cady Orange, remember her?" The man took a swig from the coffee cup he held in one hand. "From the Dark Cave operation. Calling in a favor. One of their experiments escaped from the lab and is on the run. And she wants us to get her back."

"I think I might have heard you mention something about that when you were on the phone with her," said the woman, frowning slightly and propping herself up against her pillow, brushing her long hair back behind her shoulders to avoid sitting on it. "What is it, then?"

The man shook his head. "It's... weird." He shrugged. "Complicated."

The woman raised an eyebrow. "How so? I hope you know what you've gotten us into. What exactly is this thing that we're supposed to be chasing after, anyway?"

"Well..."

# # #​

Lemon had, as per her usual routine, gotten up early for breakfast and a nice walk around town. When she returned, she found Sienna who, as per her usual routine, was still fast asleep, curled up under the thin Pokémon Center standard-issue blankets, with only the top of her head poking out from under the covers.

Stifling an uncharacteristic snicker, Lemon leaned over and gave her friend a poke in the shoulder. "Hey, Sie. I think it's about time you got up, isn't it?"

Sienna muttered something incoherent and rolled over. Lemon rolled her eyes. "Come on, Sienna. It's either the easy way or the hard way. You remember the hard way, right?"

No response. Typical. Lemon shrugged, sighed, and then yanked the covers off with a flick of her hand.

"Hey!" Sienna yelled, grabbing at the sheets, but Lemon was prepared and quickly stepped out of her reach.

"Nuh-uh," she said, wagging a finger. "It's high time that you got up. You can't sleep all day, you know. Things to do, people to see... and I thought you were planning to be out and about first thing to sign up on the battle list for the Gym?"

Sienna sighed. "That was before I stayed up past two getting that girl we found in the woods squared away," she said. "Augh. I'm surprised my brain is even functioning—what time is it, anyway—eleven-thirty? Already?!"

She jumped out of bed with surprising energy, nearly knocking Lemon over in the process. "How can it be eleven-thirty already?" she ranted as she dug through her backpack for a fresh change of clothes. "The slots will all be full by now, how did I let myself—why the hell didn't you wake me up, Lemon?"

"I tried," Lemon said, leaning back against the wall. Sienna needed to calm down sometimes, she thought. While she appreciated the energy, it occasionally—well, often—ended up misplaced. "You kept muttering incoherently and covering your head with your pillow. I took that as a sign you didn't want to be disturbed." She took a deep breath. "Look, I'm sorry you ended up sleeping in too late. We can go look at the list for the Gym as soon as you like."

"As soon as I'd like was five hours ago," muttered Sienna, testily, tugging on her second sock. "Almost ready." Pause. "Er, hey—how's the girl from last night? Dolly, right?"

Lemon shrugged. "I checked in on her briefly early this morning, but she was still asleep," she said. "The nurses said she was doing all right, though. I guess we were right in thinking that it was mainly exhaustion. I was thinking I might stop in later today to say hello, at the very least. You can come, too, although I didn't know if you'd want to."

Sienna sighed. "Well, maybe after we check to see if there are any slots still left at the Gym," she said, grudgingly, twirling a lock of her hair around one finger. "I still have my priorities, you know."

Lemon snickered. "Really. Well, let's get a move-on, and get out and about. Time's a-wasting, after all."

"You don't have to tell me twice," muttered Sienna, and Lemon trailed her out the door.

# # #​

The list, as it turned out, was full up for the whole day. Sienna was outraged; Lemon privately thought that it served her right. Sienna was far too impatient most of the time, and it would probably do her some good to take it a little easier, if she would let herself.

It took no small amount of coaxing, however, to convince Sienna to visit Dolly with her now-dampened spirits. Impossible would be a good word to describe her, Lemon thought. Utterly impossible. While the two of them had been friends and training buddies for years, it was days like these that made Lemon question why she regularly put up with all this.

"Come on, Sienna, stop being so obstinate," she scolded. "Really, I can't believe you! The girl could really use some company, and you just want to sit in the room and sulk. We got you on for tomorrow, didn't we?"

"Yeah, but it's tomorrow," Sienna moaned. "I wanted it to be today."

"Stop being stubborn and just come with me. It might cheer you up, in any case, and it's still relatively early yet—it won't take very long, and then you can do anything you want. Sulk, prepare, sleep some more, whatever."

Sienna scowled. "I guess I could."

"That's the spirit," said Lemon, and grabbed her friend's wrist. "Come along now, let's get going!" she added, and proceeded to cheerfully drag Sienna down the road back to the Pokémon Center.

Sienna did, thankfully, cheer up a little bit on the way back, though Lemon had to grab her a bagel and some coffee from the dregs of the continental breakfast bar before asking the nurse on duty if they could pay Dolly a visit. She'd known Sienna long enough to know that she didn't do well on an empty stomach, and also that if she wasn't fed she'd be whining incessantly before long.

The nurse smiled at the two of them as they traipsed down the hall after her. "She woke up a little after you left," she said to Lemon, while Sienna munched happily on the bagel. "Seems like a real sweetheart, too, although you may be right that she has a little memory loss—a little mixed up. She's been nothing but polite, though—a patient like her could spoil me!" she laughed.

"That's great to hear," said Lemon, smiling. "Any word about her family, or where she might have come from?"

"Not yet," said the nurse, as she spotted Dolly's room at the end of the hall and produced a set of keys from her pocket. "We've put out word to the police in all the nearby cities and towns and asked a couple of television stations to mention her case, though, so if they're nearby it's really only a matter of time. Ah, here we go," she said, after rifling through the extensive set of keys for the right one, and unlocked the door. "You can go right in. I have to go do my rounds, but if you need anything, there's a button by the door to call me."

"Thanks," said Lemon, and the two of them entered.

Dolly, who occupied the room's sole bed, sat up a little straighter as they came in and gave them an earnest, if awkward smile. "Hello," she said, folding the sheets down around her waist. "It's good to see you."

"Oh, it's a pleasure," said Lemon, with her most reassuring smile as she took a place in the chair beside Dolly's bed. "We just wanted to check in on you, see how you were doing. It's always nice to have a friendly face when you're in an unfamiliar place. Right, Sienna?" she added, elbowing her friend in the side.

"Er, yeah, right," said Sienna. "How are you feeling? Better?"

"Much better," said Dolly. "Thank you very much for bringing me here."

"No prob," said Sienna, shrugging. "Er... do you remember any more about what happened? Like, where you came from, and stuff? I know the staff here are trying to find out where your family is..."

A pause. "I still don't remember very much," she said, slowly. "I think... I think I may be a little confused. It's all very different here."

Out of the corner of her eye, Lemon saw Sienna perk up slightly, imagination no doubt running wild with theories that Dolly had come from another dimension or a magical realm or some such muck. Time to change the subject before Sienna could say something silly. "When are they saying you'll be up and about again?"

"Very soon," said Dolly. "The nice lady said that I was probably all right, but that they were waiting for a doctor from the big hospital to come over and give me a check-up before they discharged me."

Lemon smiled. "Well, if things go all right, we ought to take you out to dinner. What do you think, Sienna?"

"Fine with me," said Sienna. "As long as we make sure we get some practice time in this afternoon. My training will pay off for sure this time, I know it. Clair will be begging me for forgiveness this time tomorrow—"

"Um..." Both Lemon and Sienna turned to look at Dolly. "You said you were pokémon trainers, right?" she said.

"Oh—yes," said Lemon, blinking. "Er, why do you ask?"

Dolly looked a little nervous, glancing furtively around the room as if worried that someone might be listening. "I... I wanted to ask you something. It's kind of important, I guess, and I... was hoping that maybe you could help me with it."

Sienna frowned. "What is it?"

"I—"

But before she could finish her sentence, the door opened. "Sorry," said the newcomer, a harried-looking man in a doctor's coat, carrying a clipboard and a steaming cup of coffee. "Don't want to interrupt—they called me over to do a check-up on her—have to ask you to leave for a while." He rubbed at his eyes, stifling a yawn with his other hand. "Shouldn't take too long."

"Oh—all right," said Lemon. Dolly did say a doctor would be coming by. "What was it you were going to say, Dolly?"

Dolly looked quite startled. "I—not right now. I'll tell you later," she said.

Lemon shrugged, and patted her gently on the arm as she stood to leave. "All right, then. We had probably better get going anyway. We'll see you later. I hope your check-up goes well."

"Er, yeah. Bye, I guess," added Sienna, sounding a little thrown off and with a slight frown on her face, but she followed Lemon as they left the room and headed back down the hallway that they had entered from.

Sienna was still frowning when they reached the lobby. "What is it?" asked Lemon.

"Nothing," said Sienna. "I think. She had a funny look on her face when we left, though. I wonder what it was she wanted to say..."

"We'll have a chance to see her later," Lemon said, hiking her satchel further up on her shoulders as they exited the sliding doors. "She'll have a chance to tell us then. In any case... why don't we grab a quick lunch, and then head out to Route 45 for a while? If you can't challenge the gym today, you might as well get some more practice in."

"Mm. I guess so." Sienna nodded, still looking a little distant. "Yeah, why not." She gave Lemon a sideways glance, one eyebrow raised. "But if we're eating out, you're paying for it."

Lemon grinned, and took her friend by the shoulders as they headed down the street. "Now that's more like it. Come along, now. Today's going to be a great day, I can tell already."

And then the Pokémon Center blew up.

 

[delongbi]

Ha ha, I liked the ending! Not at all what was expected. I really don't have much to say except to keep doing what you are doing! I still think the chapters could be longer, but I completely understand the writing ahead thing (and believe that is a very good strategy... always making sure to stay ahead of the plot).

Can't wait for the next chapter!

 

[yaysunshine]

Ah, I meant to post this a bit ago, but I got swamped with schoolwork >.< Anyway, here's chapter 4, hooray!

---------------------------

Chapter Four

Lemon could deal with a lot of things. She hadn't gotten that worked up when it took her three tries to earn the Mineralbadge. She'd been relatively calm during the Team Rocket debacle three years ago. And she'd been putting up with Sienna's generalized craziness for the last six years without snapping, which was no mean feat. But then...

...then, there were days like this.

Lemon stared up at the thick black smoke rising from the vicinity of the Pokemon Center a block away, transfixed by the sight. A piece of charred roof tile landed a meter away, and she barely blinked. She was still trying to figure out exactly what she ought to be doing when Sienna dropped the backpack she'd been wearing into her hands.

"I'm going to go help," said Sienna, unhooking a pokeball from her belt.

"What—no, are you crazy?" Lemon blurted out, dropping the bag. Oh God, oh God, she had that determined look in her eye, and that always meant the beginning of trouble... "You're going to get yourself killed, it's dangerous! Sienna, stop being an idiot!" This always happened. This always happened. Sienna always had to be the hero, dammit, regardless of safety or sanity. At this rate Sienna wasn't going to live to see twenty—and Lemon probably wasn't either, from the stress induced by her friend's antics. Good heavens.

"I'm closer than the fire department, and I'm here. I can help. I'm going." Sienna turned, not in the least bit deterred, and jogged off in the direction of the still-smouldering Center.

Lemon watched her leave, mouth hanging open—and then shook her head, and rummaged in her pockets for her phone. She might not be suicidally brave, but she could at the very least call Emergency. Cursing under her breath, she waited for the operator to pick up, and hoped that Sienna knew what she was doing.

# # #​

Pokémon Centers were made to be sturdy. Someone had cleverly realized a long time ago that a place that drew a lot of injured and frightened pokémon would probably need to withstand fires, floods, earthquakes, scratches, acid, freezing and all manner of other unusual damage. In short, very little outside of the explosion of a nuclear warhead in the vicinity could put a scratch on one.

The Blackthorn Pokémon Center, which had been in excellent repair not ten minutes ago, was in ruins.

A lot of the roof was either gone or crumbling, and had the walls not been specially reinforced, they would have been falling in already. Parts of the building were on fire.

What happened here?

Sienna stared up at it for a moment before remembering that, ah, yes, she was here to help and not just gawk. Some people had gotten a window clear and were getting out that way, older trainers helping the young ones through to safety, but there had been a lot of people inside. And something caught her eye—the wall on that side was beginning to buckle.

"Poli, go!" she yelled, flinging the pokéball in her hand. A poliwhirl materialized instantly in a burst of red light, shaking his head at the sudden sunlight—he'd last been out in the nighttime. But there was no time to spare.

"Poli, I need your help," she said—with more than a hint of urgency, since the wall was looking dangerously unstable... "Uh, we need to hold that wall together somehow, maybe if we use your strength—" But that wouldn't work, would it? They couldn't push from the outside, and they couldn't get inside fast enough—

The poliwhirl considered the scene for a moment—and then froze over the wall with an ice beam, causing the older trainers nearby to jump in surprise, but they recovered quickly and gave her a wave. "Warn us next time!" one of them said, a tall girl in a baseball cap, but gave Sienna a weary smile. "D'you think you could help get some of the other ways clear? We could probably get more people out through the door if—"

Sienna blinked. "Ah, sure," she said, waving back, and then glanced at Poli. "Uh—well, that works. Good job, mate," she added, in his direction. It was a very clever solution—which she ought to have been able to come up with herself. Then again, her pokémon did outsmart her on a regular basis, so it was nothing new.

But this Sienna knew how to handle—brute force was her specialty. She grinned. "All right!" she yelled. "Let's punch through that rubble!"

Not for the first time was Sienna reminded of how much she wished she had the money for a Water Stone, but she'd already blown a lot of money on Leaf and Fire stones for Niney and Oddball to evolve. Still, though, Poli had pretty good strength for his size, and soon enough they ran into some trainers from the other side who'd been working on getting out themselves.

From there on it was quick work. There were a lot of people with injuries ranging from stubbed toes to broken limbs, but the nurses that had been on duty were handling them.

It was as she was returning Poli to his pokéball for a rest that it occurred to her who she hadn't seen among the crowd: Dolly.

She dashed back outside, looking at the group of trainers and center staff huddled a safe distance away. Some of the doctors and nurses were standing there, but she didn't see the one that had been with Dolly. She definitely wasn't there—she was pretty distinctive, after all. And not inside the building, either...

She ducked back inside. Maybe they'd missed a spot in looking. There were a lot of places a small girl like that could be hidden in the Pokémon Center's ruins, after all. Peering into the back hallway from the lobby, she wondered if she ought to try looking back there—

There was a cracking noise overhead, and Sienna belatedly registered that a section of the ceiling was about to fall on her.

Then something slammed into her from the side, knocking her to the floor a few meters away. "Honestly, are you some kind of idiot?" a familiar voice chastised, as a large hunk of ceiling thudded to the ground in the same place she'd just been standing. "Walking around in here all by yourself, you know it's dangerous—"

"Lemon?" Sienna said, blankly—it was Lemon who was picking herself up off the floor next to her, neatly brushing dust off her skirt. Her magneton floated over their heads, a screen of reflective energy emanating from its three terminals directed at the ceiling to catch falling debris. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you, of course," she grumbled. "It didn't take long to call Emergency, and I figured you'd find some way to get into trouble. Looks like I got here just in time. What were you doing in here, anyway?"

Sienna sat up, wincing—although she appreciated the save, she would have been a little more grateful if Lemon hadn't knocked her head into the floor. "Looking for Dolly," she said. "She's not outside."

Lemon's eyes widened. "Well—I'll come along. Let's make it fast, though."

Sienna spared a cautious glance toward the ceiling. "Yeah," she said. "I think we'd better."

# # #​

It wasn't very hard to find Dolly. In fact, she was right where they'd left her minutes ago, standing in the very center of the room. Well, if it could even be called a room anymore—the ceiling was completely gone, and the walls looked as if they'd had a wrecking ball taken to them. One was even completely demolished, leaning over into the next room. Dolly herself was standing stock-still, looking down at her hands with a look of mixed bewilderment and horror. And—oddly enough—there didn't seem to be even a scratch on her.

She looked up as they came through the door, visibly relaxing as she saw them enter. "You're all right," she said.

"We're just glad to see that you're all right—we ought to get you out of here," said Lemon, taking her by the shoulders. "It's dangerous here, the building's very unstable, you know—"

Dolly turned away and mumbled something. "What was that?" asked Sienna.

"...'s all my fault..."

Sienna frowned. "Why would it be your fault?" she asked. "Look, it was probably just an accident, that's all—"

Dolly raised a shaking finger, pointing at something in the rubble across the room. "He was g-going to t-t-take me back, and I was s-s-scared, and I d-didn't want t-to hurt him but I c-couldn't go b-b-back, not n-now, and then b-bad things happened, and it's all my fault, I'm so sorry—"

"Hush, sweetie, slow down—everything's going to be all right," Lemon began, but Sienna held up a finger.

"Hang on a second, who—" She could make out some vague features under the pile of debris that Dolly had pointed at... She dashed over, pulling at stone and drywall and wood. Underneath, unconscious (she hoped) was the doctor from earlier. "He was going to—" She jabbed a finger in the direction of the sleeping man. "He tried to kidnap you? Why?"

Dolly froze, looking like a deer in the headlights. "I... I don't know," she stammered. "H-he's not a real d-doctor, though."

"Where did he want to take you?"

"I—"

"Sienna, that's enough!" Lemon cut in, shooting her a nasty glare. "Don't you think this is a bit much for right now? We've got to get out of here! Please stop and think for a moment—can't we continue this conversation when we've all calmed down a bit?"

Sienna blinked. "I—er, I wasn't thinking. Sorry," she said. "We should probably go join that group that's forming out in the front. See if there's anything else we can do—"

"No."

Both Sienna and Lemon turned to face Dolly, who was staring into space. "We must leave," Dolly continued, in an oddly formal tone, "or it will be disaster. Hurry. Danger comes, and time grows short." Then she blinked, and shivered slightly. "We... I can't go back. I can't be seen. Not now."

Sienna gave her an appraising glance. "You know what's going on here."

Dolly paused. "Yes," she said, at last. "Mostly, anyway."

"Can you tell us?"

"Not here. Not now."

Lemon looked back and forth between the both of them. "Er," she said. "Would anyone mind explaining to me what exactly is going on here? I seem to be a bit lost."

Sienna ignored her for the moment. "We might be able to help you," she said, cautiously. It was really very funny that this was probably what she would have wished for a half-hour ago—adventure, excitement, a quest—but yet somehow she was feeling more apprehensive than happy. "But once we're safe, I want to know everything. And you'll tell us. Got it?"

Dolly considered this—and then nodded. "Thank you," she said.

"Don't mention it," said Sienna. She frowned. "Unless, of course, this gets us into real trouble. Then feel free to mention it as often as possible, all right?"

"Uh—okay."

"Uh, Sienna?" asked Lemon. "Would you mind explaining to me what exactly is going on here?"

Sienna shrugged. "I have no idea," she said.

# # #​

"Dodger! Dodger, where are you?"

The long-haired girl picked her way through the rubble—most of the people had collected on the other side of the building, but she was pretty sure her brother wouldn't be there, if she had correctly guessed the cause of the explosion. If something had happened to him—

Well, she wasn't one to frown on violence in general—it would be a bad trait in her line of work. And if Cady had sent them on a dangerous fool's errand, there would be hell to pay, even if she had done them a favor once upon a time.

He would have been near the back, in one of the rooms near the corner... well, what was left of them, now. "Dodger? Dodger, can you hear me?"

Her breath caught in her throat. If something really had happened to him—

But then, ahead, something in the rubble shifted. And, above the piles of debris—a hand and the sleeve of a doctor's coat.

"Dodger!" she cried, and dashed over, hurdling stone and ceiling tile and drywalling. He's alive, he's alive— She dug through the debris that covered his lower half as fast as she could, and then pulled him into a tight hug.

He winced, and groaned. "Augh. Hi, Alice. Watch the broken ribs."

Alice stood, and placed her hands on her hips, giving him a stern look. "I thought I told you to be careful. And to take that ching-a-ling thing you got when you were in Hoenn. The one that knows Protect." She tugged gingerly on his arm, helping him sit up and propping him up against a pile of roof tile and sheet rock bits. "What happened?"

Dodger sighed. "I was. And I did." Wincing slightly, he reached into the front pocket of his filched doctor's coat, pulling out something tassel-shaped—which was followed by the limp, bell-shaped body of an unconscious chingling. "Ouch. Sorry, girl."

Alice stared. "I thought you'd been training that thing for months to block nearly anything."

"I was—" He winced again, putting a hand to his head. "Nngh. She took the full brunt of the attack, which is probably why I'm still alive, but—agh. I don't think Cady told us everything. God damn."

There was the growing sound of sirens. Alice looked up, taking stock of the situation, and frowned. "Think you can walk far enough to get us out of here?"

He nodded, looking a little on the groggy side. Probably meant a concussion. Damn. "I think we'd better," he managed. "I might need help."

"Yes, well, that's a given," said Alice, slipping an arm under his shoulders, and helping him to his feet. "And I think after this, I'm going to be giving Cady a call... and she is not going to enjoy it."

 

[delongbi]

Wait, the boy was the doctor? How old is he? He seemed pretty young to be able to pull off acting like a doctor.

I like your point of view shifts; they make everything so much more interesting! Can't wait to see what next chapter will bring!

 

[yaysunshine]

Wait, the boy was the doctor? How old is he? He seemed pretty young to be able to pull off acting like a doctor.

I like your point of view shifts; they make everything so much more interesting! Can't wait to see what next chapter will bring!

Mm, I never really thought of him as young—maybe I should make it clearer that he's somewhere in his early twenties. He also looks like he hasn't slept in a couple months, which could technically read as "resident."

I'm glad the POV shifts work for you—I like to get what all the characters are doing and thinking about the situations they're put in, but I was hoping that it wasn't too confusing as it is now, because at this point only about half the cast has been introduced :P

Anyway, next chapter will probably be up sometime this weekend or so, although I want to see if I can make a little more progress on Ch. 6 before I post #5.

 

[POKEMON_MASTER_0]

[FONT=&quot]Interesting, it seems that they have (or had) a man on the inside. I'm really beginning to wonder about the group that originally held Dolly. I mean, they must have some pretty good contacts in order to have had someone pose as a doctor at a Pokemon center.

I also have grown to like the multiple viewpoints. At first, I was kind of on the fence about it, but now I've realized that it works out well. I think that telling the story from multiple perspectives seems to give it more depth.
[/FONT]