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Wise words, nick-nacks, and underpants.

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Hehe...this ne always cracks me up....

[PokeCommunity.com] Wise words, nick-nacks, and underpants.
 
I don't have any jokes right now but, I remember this time when these two homeless people got thrown in jail for lighting a dog on fire and watching burn alive (Don't worry, it didn't die but, it had no fur left XD I wish I could have seen that!)
 
Uhm...Some things from the tour diaries of Jhonen Vasquez in 98...

DAY TEN 5/10/97
Jhonen: It's 3 A.M, and I'm writing this from the hotel in St. Louis. Various hideous things contributed to my inability to write any sooner than this, so I've much to tell. I'm not at all certain as to how much of it is actually interesting.
Arizona was hot like some sort of hot thing that makes you feel like dying just to escape the heat, but the people were lovely, especially the people from Atomic Comics.
The hotel room was more casual and much more bearable to me after the spooky and sometimes aggravating valets and doormen of L.A. I was able to get my own filthy, insect smeared car whenever I wanted to, without having to ask some creepy jerk to get it for me. The only thing that made the Arizona room at all unpleasant was the proximity of others. With four people satying in the room, Rob, Dave, the new companion, Gray, and myself, things were less private. The OPTION to have one's solitude is a beautiful thing. But it turned out fine for the the three days we had it, so nobody was hurt, except for the pig.
From what I could understand in Arizona, there seemed to be little more to do than get high and tattooed. I did niether. I saw the movie BREAKDOWN, and loved it.
Then I left Arizona and embarked upon a nightmarish 5 day drive to St. Louis Missouri. There were some incredible things along the way, like White Sands, and Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico.
SAD< STUPID< AMUSING STORY- While we rested against our cars after the three hour walk throug the caverns, we were approached by a white haired elderly gentleman who wanted to make small elderly conversation. He told us he was 80 years old, and about places he's driven to. We spoke to him for a few minutes, he wished us well, we bid him the same, and he walked away. THEN, he turns back and comes over to us again. This time, he bigins with more of the same benign chatter, but OUT OF NOWHERE.....it got ugly. He began to talk about how the "NEGROES and the MEXICANS" were taking over, about how there were just too many of them. He also called them the "BROWNS and the BLACKS". And here I am, all Mexican and such, just looking up at this seemingly nice old man, thinking of how pathetic it all was.
Ah well, he will die soon enough. He was, after all, rather old.
We lost Gray early on in Missouri. I dunno what happened to him, but I think it was aliens.
SO LAST NIGHT we got into St. Louis, and my heart warmed at the sight of seeing buildings, and lights again. The countryside was pretty, but the concrete is home.
We arrived too early, and had 8 hours to spend before check-in to the hotel here. I shall simply say, we were losing our mindsd and loving it. Even Rob joined in, but only after being horridly grumpy for sometime. I found the whole idea of wandering someplace new rather amusing.
So here I am. Rob and Dave are staying at Rob's cousin's house for the duration of the visit here, so I am here alone. And it feels good. not that I hate them. Rather, I hate Rob. I've slowly been poisoning him. it's interesting to see how his health degenerates. Hee hee.
I saw the 5th element today. God, was I disappointed. gary Oldman was the redeaming factor, but not nearly enough to save anything.
I angry.
 
hear is something i heard from my nxtdoor neighbor:

*~never tease your monkey, ever, ever, ever!~*
 
I wonder just how this cat managed to get where he is. XD
 
Here's Doctor Seuss's lost poem:
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is an cat
This is idiot cat
This is amused cat
This is for cat
This is two cat
This is minutes cat
 
LOL those pics are halarious, totodile!!!^^ and i`ve heard that "poem" as they call it..
 
Kitty litter cake. XD

Kitty Litter Cake

I found this recipe while surfing the net today.

1 pkg spice or German chocolate cake mix

1 pkg white cake mix

1 pkg white sandwhich cookies

green food coloring

12 small tootsie rolls

1 new kitty litter box

1 new kitty litter liner

1 new pooper scooper

Prepare cake mixes and bake to directions (any size pans)
Prepare pudding mix chill until ready to asemble dish
Crumble white in small batches in blender -- they tend to stick, so scrape often. Set aside all but about 1/4 cup.
When cakes are cooled to room temperature, crumble into a large bowl. Toss with half remaining white cookie crumbs and the chilled pudding. You probably won't need all of the pudding. Mix it with the cake and feel it, you don't want it soggy, just moist.
Gently combine

Line new, clear kitty litter box with liner. Put mixture in box
Put three unwrapped Tootsie Rolls in a microwave safe dish and heat until soft and pliable. Shape ends so they are no longer blunt, curving slightly. Repeat two more Tootsie Rolls and bury in mixture
Sprinkle the other half of the cookie crumbs over top. Scatter the green cookie crumbs lightly over the top -- this is supposed to look like the chlorophvll in kitty litter
Heat remaining Tootsie Rolls, three at a time, in the microwave until almost melted. OR, only spread five of the remaining Tootsie Rolls over the top, take one and heat until pliable, hand it over the side of the kitty litter box, sprinkling it lightly with a few of the cookie crumbs around. Serve with new pooper scooper


LMAO I thought it was really funny!!
 
dark_espeon said:
https://picture.funnyjunk.com/pics/killer_dog.jpg

my friend has this on her binder. its so cute.
Click to expand...
lol, what a great pic.

anyhow I have a real kneeslapper of a joke here...

what did the judge say to the tennis racket?

-Im going to take you to court XD. heh tennis humor

ahh nothing satsisfies me like a good old fashioned corny joke.
 
totodile said:
[PokeCommunity.com] Wise words, nick-nacks, and underpants.
Click to expand...


Ash run for your life!!!!! XD

Here is a joke.

Why do seagulls live near the sea? Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels. XD

Here is another one.

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside, he won't bother you. I also have a large parrot, but whatever you do, DON'T TALK TO THE BIRD!" Well, sure enough the dog totally ignored the repairman, but whole time he was there, the parrot cussed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts. As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist, "You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!!" To which the bird replied, "Killer, SIC'EM!!!!!!!!!!"
 
XD I have one. You may have heard it:

There were 3 guys in a hot air balloon. Their names were Bob, Tom, and Ed. Bob had dropped a penny off for fun. Tom dropped a quarter off, and Ed threw a grenade. When they got off, Bob was heading home when he saw a little girl crying. He went over and said," what's wrong?" and the girl said," A penny fell from the sky and killed my dad!"
Tom, too, was coming home when he saw a boy crying. He asked the same thing, and the boy told him a quarter fell from the sky and killed his dad.
Ed was driving home, and he saw a boy laughing. The boy was covered in soot and ash. Ed asked the same thing, and the boy said," My grandpa farted and blew up the house!"
 
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