Zodiac

[Squire202]

This is something I started a while ago, and I stopped. I need more opinions wether to start again or not.

It's a prolouge, but it's not really a traditional one. I wanted to write out somethign quickly. (I was running low on time when I first wrote this part)

Also, I wanted a lot of foreshadowing. Which is what you get.
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June 17, 1993-Portland, Maine
"Congratulations, Mrs. Neighbor, it's a baby boy!" The doctor said joyfully.

When they brought the baby home, they began to notice something strange. Every now and then, it would zone out. It would stop crying or laughing and he would be totally silent. After this pause, he would resume his usual noisemaking as if nothing had ever happened. When he leaned to crawl, he seemed to be two places at once. He would crawl so quickly, that they would have to watch him constantly. By the time he knew colors, he couldn't stop looking at the color yellow. At first, they didn't think it was very strange. The boy acted strange, and he continuously zoned out. He never could remember what happened when he zoned out, and it began to bother him.

He lived his life as normally as he could, until one day, late November.



November 29, 1992-Mesa, Arizona
"It's a boy! Congratulations Mrs. Underwood. I'll send your husband in." The doctor kindly said.

The baby was brought home, and it seemed normal, except for one thing. Every few days, he would become completely silent. Besides that, he lived a good life up until he was 13. On his birthday in the year 2005, everything changed forever. His life would never be the same. He would never live the good life that he had lived before. His life would forever become intertwined with another, and would only be let go when They were defeated.

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Basically, this part is to explain the "Who", "What", "When", "Where", and "Why" of Zodiac.

WHO-This story is about two boys who go from leading normal lives, to leading an attack against an organization without a name. In the story, Someone might say, "I can't believe that They're coming." or, "You'll have to face Them!" When they say this, I'll be very sure not to make a typo. I'll always and only capitilize these words, and others like it if I'm referring to the organization.

WHAT-It revolves all sorts of signs, including Indian Spirit Animals, Chinese Zodiac, Nordic Mythology, Atrologic Signs, and other stuff like that.

WHEN-The story takes place around our time period, specifically, 2003.

WHERE-The story starts in Arizona and Maine, and extends to other places, mainly to the origins of the Zodiac.

WHY-This story will hopefully make you think about real life, as once it gets to be quite a few chapters long you should start to realize that its a play on real life society.

OTHER NOTES-Zodiac is very heavily written with an omnicient narraotr. I wanted to give it an almost godly feel, as if a higher power was telling the story to someone. Each chapter will consist of at least one date, which as the story progresses, will affect the certain happenings.

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I'd love some critique, and I really NEED opinions weather to quit or keep going.

 

[POKEMON_MASTER_0]

Whether or not you should keep going is up to you to decide. You have to ask yourself what objective you hope to achieve in writing this story.

This objective could be anything really: from writing it for the purpose of personal growth, to writing it just to pass time, to writing it for a school project.

Whether or not you keep going depends on whether or not you think that by writing the story, you will be able to satisfy that objective. I think that this is a personal decision. You are the writer, this is your story. Don't let other people tell you whether or not you can write it.

However, people can give suggestions on how to improve. To be honest with you, I don't think there is enough to critique. You stated that the sample was written out quickly, and indeed, it shows. It seems to be just a brief rundown of what happens. I can't gauge anything about the world that it takes place in. What is this "good life", what exactly do you mean by to "zone out"?

If you want to have a sample that gives people something to critique, don't hurry through it. Take as much time as you need in order to reach a point where you have something that you can honestly say that you feel proud of, because you did your best on it. You don't have to write out a whole chapter: just a sample.

Now, I'm not saying, "No, it's a horrible idea.", and I'm not saying, "Yeah, it's great!", I'm kind of neutral on it, simply because I don't have enough material to know what it is. I just think that potential reviewers would have a lot more to review if you had more of a sample.

So find some time, sit down, and write. It could be anything really: a short story told from the perspective of a character, a description of an environment featured in the story, whatever you think is necessary. Give critics something more than a hastily-written intro and a slew of facts.