oh sorry lol forgot to specify :P my friend colleen. i met her in Conquer and actually was dating her for awhile (yes i risked meeting her in real life since we were both in florida at the time) and ill have to admit i was happy for once ^_^. even though she was 23 (i was 16 at the time lol) and she had a five yr old daughter. (i know it sounds like i've got some serious issues there but honestly it surprisingly worked for awhile) we both taught each other a lot about life. i used to be the kind who was always worrying about where i would be going or what was going to happen next...
one day i finally just said to her "How can i walk a path that i can't even see?..."
and bless her heart she just smiled and said "Then don't. Kick off your shoes and walk in the grass with me."
i know it sounds corny but from then on i had a newfound respect for life in general, instead of always worrying about my own future.
heh i never used to be much of a public speaker either.
of course i guess i had to take up a leadership role with some things in my life. even online i'm often the assistant guild master or the leader of my PKKers. we dont have an official guild yet because i dont have the money lol.i dont think i could abandon this now that i've started though. it feels good to help the newer players enjoy the world without worry of PKers taking away their hard-earned items and exp.
i guess that's what makes it worth it. i think there's only been a couple of times where i got too far out of hand and ended up in the game's jail, which was full of PKers that just sit and battle each other. so i got to fend for myself for a few hours until i could leave, and now i always leave my PK mode on "Capture" (wont let you PK unless someone nearby's name is flashing due to attacking a player)
well if you're the healer kind, we could team up in Conquer fairly easily, since i'm always watching out for my team mates ;) heck i'd probably even end up healing you a couple times :P
maybe trust is just something you have to work on with people?
honestly i'm not very trusting either. theres only 3 people in this world that i could say i trust to tell everything to and would trust my life with.
as for reality, unfortunately existence is, in itself, its own paradox.
for example, "I think therefore I am"
if we exist due to our own skepticism, how does a world exist?
we could go so far as to say that i feel the world, i am a part of it.
i am the world and the world is me, therefore you are the world as well, and we are all a part of each other.
Our desire, our strength of will, to be here is what justifies our existence i think.
Quote:Basically, if you like who you are, then you can't (reasonably) complain about the things that happen to you, no matter how bad they are. Yet, as a sensitive person, I still feel bad when bad things happen to people (especially those I love), which I guess is one of those unsolvable paradoxes. Because, after all, if you like who they are, you can't reasonably want to change their past; but if you love them, you want to keep them from being hurt.
i dont think i've ever seen anybody put it quite as well as you just did ^_^.
a desire to protect the ones we love is a natural instict based off of a powerful emotion that nobody can explain. it is that purpose that drives me to do some of the things i do (like when i learned multiple swordfighting styles years ago)
and its like i said, in order for us to learn and to feel things, we have to have this world with both negative, and positive emotions and feelings.
love, hate, despair, joy, friendship, betrayal, admiration, hope...
all the feelings that we have carved deep into this world are carried with us on our shoulders.
its what propels us to move forward along the path, or into the grass ;) wherever we choose.
fire is something that's always fascinated me. i've held my hand in fire, lit a fireball within my hand (its a neat trick i learned in chemistry lol) thrown said fireball lol xD
my face has felt the touch of flame when i was fighting once and the air from the staves blew one of the candles towards me and grazed my face :P not very pleasant i might add :)