Dating

[Joshawott]

It takes maturity, not age.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[Mana1]

I don't think anyone can really class a 12 year old as emotionally mature as a 16+ year old.

I would say having girl/boyfriends from 12 onwards is fine, as long as it's in a light and innocent way, and in no way sexual. 'Proper' relationships, dating and so on should be left from about 15, when kids are much more aware about themselves and others.

 

[Star-Lord]

I really don't see anything wrong with having a relationship whenever you want. I mean, it's totally possible that the people involved may not be mature enough, or really know what they're doing. I think that's a whole part of growing up though, being able to experience and figure out how the dating world really works, and what your preferences are. I really don't see any logical reason to see why it's wrong, or why we should judge people on what they do with their own time. I mean, unless it's an abusive relationship why should we be meddling and prying into other people's affairs? It's their private life, and they aren't harming anybody with what they're doing.

As Live_Wire466 said earlier in the thread, a lot of kids use early relationships to test the waters. There's nothing wrong with experiencing that part of life whenever you feel that you are.

 

[Captain Fabio]

Difference between boy/girlfriend at that age and having sex at that age.

Boys and girls have 'relationships' sometimes when they are young, but it isn't a actual relationship. It is just this cute thing of holding hands and that is pretty much it.

Going on the sex front, anyone younger than 16 having intercourse is a horrible thought.​

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[Dakotah]

Going on the sex front, anyone younger than 16 having intercourse is a horrible thought.​

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Why? It's not as though it's a rare thing. From the day of our birth, human beings are sexual creatures. So what would make any form of intimacy between two people under 16 a horrible thing? I'm certainly not adverse to it. If both parties find pleasure in it, and it's consensual, who am I to tell them it's inappropriate?

 

[Captain Fabio]

Don't know about you, but the idea of anyone under 16 being pregnant is a shocking sight. And there is always a risk of it, no matter what precautions they take.

What if your son or daughter was having sex before they were 16 and they come home saying they are pregnant or going to be a father. Don't know about you, but I would go mental.​

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[Dakotah]

Don't know about you, but the idea of anyone under 16 being pregnant is a shocking sight. And there is always a risk of it, no matter what precautions they take.​

The thing is, that sort of scenario has been happening since the beginning of the human race. One doesn't have to look far into the past to see that marriages between grown men to women as young as 13, 14, or 15 was common place. So, for me, it's not in the least bit shocking to see someone that young being pregnant. Certainly the last thing anyone would need is me judging them for being pregnant. If anything, I'd be supportive.

What if your son or daughter was having sex before they were 16 and they come home saying they are pregnant or going to be a father. Don't know about you, but I would go mental.

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Well, in that scenario, I'd be a hypocrite as I was sexually active at the age of 12. As for my son or daughter coming to me about pregnancy, since my boyfriend still hasn't gotten me pregnant, and since there's a 0% change of me getting a woman pregnant, I don't think I have to worry about any child coming to me saying they're pregnant or going to be a father.

 

[-ty-]

The thing is, that sort of scenario has been happening since the beginning of the human race. One doesn't have to look far into the past to see that marriages between grown men to women as young as 13, 14, or 15 was common place. So, for me, it's not in the least bit shocking to see someone that young being pregnant. Certainly the last thing anyone would need is me judging them for being pregnant. If anything, I'd be supportive.



Well, in that scenario, I'd be a hypocrite as I was sexually active at the age of 12. As for my son or daughter coming to me about pregnancy, since my boyfriend still hasn't gotten me pregnant, and since there's a 0% change of me getting a woman pregnant, I don't think I have to worry about any child coming to me saying they're pregnant or going to be a father.

I know it sounds like kind of a lame thing to say... But have you ever heard the phrase, "becoming pregnant is not the worse outcome of unprotected sex." Although two people who are either the same sex or one of the two is infertile can have sex without conceiving a child, there are plenty of STD's to worry about, and those are arguably worse to contract than conceiving 'accidental' or untimely pregnancies. Perhaps in your case it was different, but I think that most gay, or straight, 12 year old's would overlook the possibility of contracting an STD (especial with the lack of gay sexual education), and therefore not take into account the methods of which to protect themselves. I also think that since the possibility of conceiving children for same sex partners is 0 %, there is a false sense of protection that encompasses the gay community, and therefore protection is sometime overlooked by a good chunk of homosexual people, let alone the naive and less informed preteens.


In my own subjective opinion, I don't think that it is the best decision for a 12 year old to have sex. It's hard to set an age limit, but I would say that I would prefer, if one day I have kids, that they wait until they are AT LEAST 16 , in a committed relationship, and have both had their assortment of STD tests. I would also advise them to not hookup or have random sexual encounters regularly, but it's just my own old-fashioned suggestion. The whole point is, if kids are going to be engaged in sexual activity, it is probably best that parent are somewhat involved and open with their kids about the matter, rather than sweep it under the rug because it is uncomfortable to talk about. Also, kids will make mistakes, sometimes if we loosen the reigns a bit, a let them figure out somethings for themselves, it might benefit them more than being overtly strict.

 

[Star-Lord]

What if your son or daughter was having sex before they were 16 and they come home saying they are pregnant or going to be a father. Don't know about you, but I would go mental.

Well, I would have hoped they had proper sexual education beforehand but, I think the more important thing would be to lay out that I would support my child in their situation, and support whatever their final decision would be. May it be abortion, adoption, or ultimately raising the child. I think it's more important to lay out that you will always be there, rather than going mental. If they were just being stupid and didn't use a condom, then yeah I would be a little upset, but that would come later. I wouldn't just flip out on them right away jfc.

Sex is just sex. There's risks like whatever else you do in life.

 

[chrunch]

I'd say anything under 14 is too young, and at 14 only if you're mature. If you're 10-13 is isn't really a serious relationship, and 14 usually isn't either, unless you're really mature.

 

[Dakotah]

I think that most gay, or straight, 12 year old's would overlook the possibility of contracting an STD (especial with the lack of gay sexual education), and therefore not take into account the methods of which to protect themselves. I also think that since the possibility of conceiving children for same sex partners is 0 %, there is a false sense of protection that encompasses the gay community, and therefore protection is sometime overlooked by a good chunk of homosexual people, let alone the naive and less informed preteens.

I'd like to think we in the gay community are especially aware of the risks associated with unprotected sex. There will always be risk takers, yes, but by and large, I don't see the gay community overlooking the need for protection during sex. I've worked for a campground that is run for the LGBT community and our families, and if the number of condoms I had to pick up after a weekend were any indication, I'd say people were being adequately cautious when it came to protecting themselves.

It should be noted, however, that while I was growing up, sex ed was a subject that was covered quite extensively in school, since the 5th grade. And while it's true the lessons did not focus on issues related to gay sex, the subject was taught broadly enough that the lessons learned could be applied to any situation between partners.

In my own subjective opinion, I don't think that it is the best decision for a 12 year old to have sex. It's hard to set an age limit, but I would say that I would prefer, if one day I have kids, that they wait until they are AT LEAST 16 , in a committed relationship, and have both had their assortment of STD tests. I would also advise them to not hookup or have random sexual encounters regularly, but it's just my own old-fashioned suggestion. The whole point is, if kids are going to be engaged in sexual activity, it is probably best that parent are somewhat involved and open with their kids about the matter, rather than sweep it under the rug because it is uncomfortable to talk about. Also, kids will make mistakes, sometimes if we loosen the reigns a bit, a let them figure out somethings for themselves, it might benefit them more than being overtly strict.

Like I've said, from birth human beings are sexual creatures, and we're also very curious. I think it's important that parents impart as much information to their children as soon as they feel is necessary (and when the children can understand of course) so that they can make an informed decision themselves as to whether or not they want to have sex.

 

[Psycho Bugler]

I say whenever a kid wants a relationship is whenever he/she should have one. Their maturity level might not be appropriate for a relationship, but that's something they will learn for themselves. It's not our place to tell them they can't because they're too young.

In any case, moving this over to Other Chat because it is, to put it into scientific terms, "discussiony" XD

I agree. I know people in their early teens capable of sustaining a healthy relationship, and I know a huge number of people in their 50's who still aren't ready for a relationship.

That being said, I'm 21 and my current boyfriend is 36. He respects me and sure as hell respect him. I appreciate him for his insight and experiences that I have never experienced and probably never will experience. He's helped me through my first relationship, guiding me through life on the path fit for two people. For that I'm forever grateful.

 

[Ducklighter]

It's hard to say pinpoint an appropriate age for when dating is appropriate, you know? I've had a friend who dated his childhood friend at the age of 9 but back then, all you had to be doing is holding hands or being in one's company. I think society and the aspect of relationships has changed for younger and older people. If television is any indication and teen dramas, it's that sex seems to play a vital role when going into a relationship.

For me personally, my first girlfriend was when I was 13 and that lasted 3 days (everyone laugh in unison) but it was one of those fads that young people go into and the reason for that at times was peer pressure. People were getting together and if you was friends with a girl, you were automatically in love with her. It really depends on the individual, I'd say. My view on relationships and when you should go into them will always differ to someone else because we've got a different mindset. I think it's a difficult question to clearly answer. I'd just say "Whenever you want, really. It's really upto you." because what's become clear is people learn better when they experience things. Relationships and dating is all about experience. The more you're involved with them, the more you know what you want.

 

[voltianqueen]

Like many others have said, I think it just depends on the person! I mean, there's no real harm in, say, 10 year-old kids peckin each other on the cheek. I don't think there's really a set age when people can begin a real relationship, though, so it really just depends on if that person thinks they are ready, and even if they're not, they're experimenting and getting the experience.

 

[mastsethi]

Man, when you have slept with your girlfriend. You have almost grown up!

 

[Echidna]

I don't think age matters, as long as you're a teenager and not ten years old :P
But I'd watch my back, young love and/or high school relationships end badly a lot. I heard of a guy who committed suicide cause his girlfriend broke up with him. It's sad but true. So regardless of the age, watch out. I've had one girlfriend in high-school, and it didn't really end well :(

So I'm waiting till college, where I can meet someone I might actually marry...

 

[FreakyLocz14]

Make sure that the person fulfills both of these criteria:
1) They are at least the legal age of consent in your jurisdiction
2) They are no younger than half of your age plus seven years

 

[Echidna]

2) They are no younger than half of your age plus seven years

Er, that doesn't make sense!
Love is infinite. I know 20 year-olds who marry 30 year-olds. No such law exists.

Imagine a 28 not being able to fall in love with someone 21(Based on your law), tis has happened a LOT!

Like I said, love is infinite.

Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself

 

[Controversial?]

If her age is on the clock, she's too young for ****.

Also in losing virginity younger is better.

 

[Shiro]

I'm going to have to agree with the majority of people and say that it really does depend on the person. But I'm going to add that I think it also depends on just what each person expects out of the relationship. Yes, we are very sexual beings as someone said, but unfortunately sex education in general is awful and far too many teenagers are having sex without knowing how to do it safely.

So, if I'm thinking from the perspective of a parent, I'd say casual dating at any time is fine as long as the child can handle it. But if things were to get serious, I'd honestly hope that my child would talk to me so we could clear up misconceptions about sex and discuss safe sex.